Tiny Bubbles

Chapter Four

Whining: Behavior Unbecoming a Death Eater

Mister Snookims. The little bitch gave me a puppy named Mister Snookims. The little bitch gave me a puppy named Mister Snookims in front of the entire school. With a Howler, too. A Howler that sang, if one can call that screeching sound singing, a chipper Muggle song. A chipper Muggle song by The Beatles.

Granted, and I say this reluctantly, she has taste in music. Although The White Album is my particular favorite.

A puppy. And a Scottish Terrier to boot. Not a nice Bull Dog or even a Mastiff. Oh no. It has to be a nice cute little fluffy creature. What in the bloody hell am I going to do with this yapping, licking, chewing, and squirming creature?

"Well, perhaps a nice basket to snuggle down in would be a good place to start, Severus."

I turn to face Albus, who hasn't even waited ten minutes to come for a gloat. I haven't seen his eyes twinkle this brightly since the last time he got laid. I put my best scowl on and reply,

"Why am I not surprised at your uninvited appearance, Headmaster."

The old man chuckled at me. "You know me too well, my boy. Here now, let me see Mister Snookims, was it?" he finished, holding out his arms.

"You know damn good and well what his name is you old bat." I thought as I gladly surrendered the ball of wiggling fur to the bane of my existence. I couldn't help but smirk as the puppy attached Albus' face with his tongue.

"Isn't he charming?" Dumbledore chuckled as he draped the creature over an arm and stroked its back.

"Quite." I growled.

Albus chuckled again. "Come now Severus. He isn't all that bad. Granted he isn't quite the type of dog I would have picked for you, but clearly your admirer thinks Mister Snookims is suited to you."

"Please Albus!" I spat, "Miss Granger has gone entirely too far this time. I demand that she be punished for her behavior."

"You have proof that Miss Granger is the sender of this gift, Severus?" he asked me with a twinkle.

"Who else would it be? Especially after the lep-never mind." Why do I let him trick me like this?

"Ah, yes. The leprechaun bit. So that was you?"

As if the bastard didn't know this already. Really Albus, your innocence is not very convincing. Once more I find myself defending my actions.

"She deserved it after that incident in the class room, Albus. I wouldn't have had to resort to such measures had you let me give her the detention she so rightly deserved." Go ahead, laugh at me. The old man is making me crankier and crankier by the second.

"As I said before. She did warn you."

I want him to leave, but I know it is useless to ask him. It is ineffectual. Albus is here to pontificate and he won't leave until he's finished.

"The puppy is asleep, Severus. Conjure up a nice basket for him. One with a nice fluffy cushion."

The creature was indeed asleep. Finally. I have the strong desire to conjure up a coffin, but as I do not wish to give Albus an excuse to pontificate further, I comply. Mister Snookims is now the proud owner of a black wicker basket with a silver and green cushion. He may be a Scottish Terrier, but he will be a Slytherin Scottish Terrier or my name isn't Severus Alexander Snape.

With a sideways glance and an ill-concealed smirk, Albus settled the puppy into his new bed.

"Is there anything else, Albus?" I ask, wanting him to leave. Now. He sighs and settles himself into my favorite chair.

"No, my boy. I just wanted to pop down and check on things. Minerva is quite concerned for the puppy."

What does the old biddy think I'm going to do? Use him for potion ingredience? I say as much to Dumbledore. This makes him laugh. I wasn't joking.

"No no, Severus. She doesn't see you as the puppy type."

"Minerva is welcome to the creature." I say, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of my voice. Please, oh please let Minerva want this fur ball.

"No, Severus. I forbid you to give Mister Snookims away."

Hear that crashing sound? That is what hope sounds like when it comes crashing down. "Really Albus, what am I going to do with a dog?" This somehow comes out sounding more like a whine than a disdainful tone.

"Love him, Severus."

"Excuse me, sir?" I ask, this time I am whining.

"Do not whine. It's not very becoming to you. Yes, Severus. Love him. You need the companionship."

"I don't want--" I began, but the old bastard cut me off with a wave of his hand and said in a mocking tone.

"Yes, yes, yes, I know you don't want companionship. You need it though, so I am ordering you to keep Mister Snookims. End of subject."

Damn him! Damn her! Damn! Damn! Damn!

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