Disclaimer: I do not get why people do this… I don't know why I'M doing this… after all, it's stupid. If I really owned the things that I don't, wouldn't I be a millionaire already and not even bothering to write fanfics? If I really owned Legolas… wouldn't I be the most blessed girl in the world? cries
Better Summary than the One you Just Read: It's mainly just a fic for humor, whereas I find Legolas first in my house (and then others) and craziness unfolds. I will try to write a chapter every weekday; and their lengths will depend on the amount of time I have. All events will be based on real things; however, with the AU charries involved, and thus the stories take on their hysterical turn. Meanwhile, despite the wildness, there will actually be a plot(!) with a little sweet mystery, romance, and action involved… just a little to make it a real story, rather than a daily ramble of thoughts. And of course, a happy ending! Plz R&R! Ideas are very welcome.
Oh yes, and this fic's central plot is really gleaned from my other fanfic about my charrie Adriel & Legolas… Thus, it becomes a sort of wild, modern twist from that story, and pay attention to this, for Adriel (and memories from her tale) play a part in this story. Lol, I thought of this modern romp one day in the shower… funny how inspiration comes to you in the weirdest places, huh? Oh well, hope you enjoy this!
p.s. There is no need to read Adriel's story first… and anyways, you can't for I haven't posted it anywhere! And this fic is only Rated T for some occasional language… but really, you ppl say these words every minute of your life anyways…!
7/21/05- A First Miracle, and then the Police
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…Adriel is a fair, beautiful princess, with silky long dark hair and kind eyes the color of the night, and her lips are soft and red. There's a constant faint flush in her cheeks, and her forefront hair curls slightly around and frames her face gently. At night, she can seem to glow faintly with beauty, just like Aeren before her. After she is persuaded by Legolas, you can always see her with Naryis, the pink stone rose pendant on a silver necklace, around her neck. When traveling again, she walks around with her weapons always slung on her, and a bag Orihin made for her, containing her most cherished possessions- her flute, medicine, harp, and a secret to a great weapon Aeren hid ages ago.
When she was small, she was like the most ideal little princess, but after her accident, she was brought far away from where she could continue learning her etiquette. However, by the end of the story, she's completely lady-like as she was always meant to be, fixing the hurts that Aeren had created with the gentle hand Aeren should have extended instead. She is often quiet and thoughtful, as she paints or strings her harp with her skillful fingers, and in the very end she and Legolas escapes to the land that Aeren had long dreamed of; and there they just sit hidden away in the mountains, filling the air with beautiful, quiet songs, and living in peaceful joy forevermore. Yes, Adriel does like to laugh, and sometimes play around (she has a witty sense of humor), if it weren't for all the grief that was pressed down on her almost all the time. She goes through many, many troubles and toils after she meets Legolas, and through the middle of the journey they suffer so many hurts that it is almost unbelievable that they survived……
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I sighed as I stood up from my swivel-chair, carrying a dirty plate that had been holding a ton of barbecue chicken only moments before. Clicking the "save" button on the fanfic about Adriel that I was working on, I walked out to throw my plate in the kitchen sink. Outside the windows of my living room, I could see the dark night sky shining in. Dunking my plate in the sink, I went to stand by one of the windows and then gazed up at the sky, looking at it wistfully like I did so often now. I was wishing, yet again, that I was an elf, that I lived in breathtaking Rivendell, that I was Adriel… that I was standing right now, on a white balcony, wearing long satin robes and gazing up at the dazzling night sky with Legolas's arm around me. …Yes, clearly, LOTR has not been good for my mental health.
But anyways, there I was wishing the same old hopeless dreams. I even imagined that the night sky in Rivendell would be a million times prettier than it was here, obscured by pollution and made unnaturally bright with the hundreds of streetlights. In fact, all I could see tonight in the yellow-black sky were eight pathetic stars… and then a huge airplane flying swiftly across.
I sighed (yet again), knowing that I should give up on the dreams. I mean, honestly… I would go insane if this carried on any longer. Writing fanfiction about elves was one thing, drawing pictures about them was another… and now I had also begun singing songs about them too. My parents and brother were both rather afraid for my sanity as they watched me watching "The Return of the King" the 5th time that day (pausing every time on Legolas's face for about 10 minutes), then going onto every LOTR fansite possible, and then humming "Into the West" in my bath. And yet, as I woke up everyday finding myself still not an elf, I began to grow depressed. Yes… I'm not healthy at all, as you can tell.
Well, anyways, it was just then, when I was on the brink of despair, knowing that my dreams would never happen, when it happened.
I first noticed it in the sky; I was gazing at it when just like that, one of the eight pitiful stars disappeared. Blinking, I looked at the sky again, sure my eyes had deceived me, but it was undeniable; there were only seven twinkling stars left in the sky. Just like that- whap- and a star was gone.
"Ok, ok… I have officially gone mad," I said, freaking out. I was just about to phone my mother, too, and tell her the historical sight I had just witnessed (I mean, a star vanishing from the sky? That must be a first…) when my hair grazed my arms.
Wait- my hair grazing my arms? But I have shoulder-length hair… Completely unnerved now, I grabbed up my hair. It was long, silky, and… slightly curled, even. Gasping, I staggered back a few steps, horrified. "I don't want to be hospitalized…!" I began wailing. "I swear- I'm not going mad…!" I rubbed my eyes and yanked at the long tresses, determined to tear them out and find that they were fake and also wake up and find that I was just having some unnatural dream…
"Rising up…
"A mighty monster
"From his sleep!
"We're dancing in the air…"
I froze. Someone… a GUY, was singing along with "The Last Rose of Summer" by Celtic Woman that I had playing on my boombox. And his voice was 1. Definitely not my dad's or my brother's, 2. Filled with a mesmerizing English accent, and 3. COMING FROM MY ROOM, BEHIND ME! Whirling around, fearing the worst, I faced the intruder…
"AHHHHHHH!" I screamed, my mental stability reaching its limit. "AHHHHHHH!" I really stumbled backwards this time, tripping over a chair and then falling into a ton of LEGOs my brother had strewn across the carpet, while my arm banged into one of my hamster's cages, causing the poor animal to run squeaking back into its house. "OH MY FREAKING LORD!" I jumped back up to my feet as fast as I could, breathing hard, as I gazed at the man who stood relaxed, framed in the light coming from my bedroom.
"Who- who are you!" I finally managed to gasp out, pointing a shaking finger at him. "What- What are you doing in my room…"
Although what a stupid question to ask, I thought. The man looked just like the poster behind him on my wall, except that the Legolas standing was not holding his knives, and was instead still singing softly with "Orinoco Flow" now, while his arms were folded over his chest and one leg was crossed casually over the other, letting all his weight lean into my doorway. He looked even prettier in real life… his slim figure outlined too from the light in my room, and then reflecting off his golden hair…
He looked at me, surprise etched in his (beautiful) face, as he answered my questions. "I'm Legolas; who else did you think?" he said matter-of-factly, and then added, "and you call this a room? Oh…" He looked briefly at the pigsty behind him. "What's wrong with you, Adriel? You look pale…"
I felt my knees beginning to buckle; raising my hand again, I managed to whisper in a strangled sort of voice, "Are- are you an impostor?" I began to think that if this was some stupid idea of a joke from my friends, then they would sooo pay for such crap.
But he said, "No, why would you ask? And why are you dressed so weirdly…" he looked at my jeans and T-shirt that had his face on it, and the words "Elven Prince" etched beneath.
I swayed dangerously suddenly; gripping the coffee table beside me, I lowered myself to the ground. "Legolas… in my house…Legolas…" And then I lost it. I let out a shriek of wild laughter as I began rolling around on the ground, getting hurt by the stupid LEGO while I simultaneously gripped my now-long hair and clutched at my face. "HAHAHHAHAA- LEGOLAS IS IN THE HOUSE!" I continued shrieking and laughing hysterically as Legolas looked at me, clearly unnerved.
"Oh- oh, I think I really need to go to an asylum now… I'm hallucinating…" I gasped, after 10 minutes of such hysteria, and then staggered up, my stomach weak from laughing. "I- oh…" I crawled towards Legolas, who looked rather afraid that I was coming towards him suddenly. Moving drunkenly, I reached up and pinched his cheek. "Oh… ha ha… you're real…" and then I collapsed and fell asleep on the ground (after-effects of shock, you know.)
I was awoken unmercifully from my sleep by the sudden ringing of the doorbell; groaning, I rolled over (there was now the impression of a LEGO brick in my left cheek, as I had fallen on top of it) and got up. Legolas was nowhere to be seen… but then I heard water running in the kitchen and guessed that that was him.
I sighed as the doorbell rang again; this time the water stopped running; clearly Legolas had heard it too. Who was it? I thought, annoyed. Perhaps the police… there was this retarded neighbor somewhere nearby who had a clear love for phoning the police whenever they heard something wrong issuing from my house (which was quite often, really) and then every time the police would come and ask what was wrong (it was clear they were getting annoyed by it too, but well… it's their job) and I would have to tell them that nothing was wrong. Once, the goddamn neighbor had phoned them when I was cooing loudly over my hamster, and they had reported it as "unnatural sounds", and another time, I had a mere shouting match with my parents and they had turned it into "death threats". I had decided that the next time they called the police, I would send them a REAL death threat. Which meant that was what I would do next, for I had looked into the peephole and saw two uneasy policemen standing outside.
I unlocked the door and slid the chain back, then pulled the door open. "Yes?" I said, rather loudly.
"Er…" the man stopped here, rather taken aback at the prominent LEGO tattoo on my cheek. Then he cleared his throat and tried again. "Err… good evening, ma'am. Someone called earlier that they heard horrific screams of terror coming from your house, that lasted for er…" the man checked his clipboard, "about 10 minutes. They say it sounded like someone was murdered… have you been getting any disturbances, lately?"
"Not from anyone but you and that neighbor." I said cheerfully, faking a grin.
"Oh err... yes, you're right…" The policeman sounded flustered. "I mean, er…" I heard Legolas walking towards us behind, and swiftly closed the door so that only a small crack remained. "Is there anything else?" I asked pleasantly.
"Oh err… no… have a good night, ma'am…" he said, tipping his hat, and then left with the other, looking happy that his visit was over. "Have a good night too," I called after him happily, and then slammed the door shut.
"GODDAMN THAT NOSY PIGNOSED NOSY-NEIGHBOR!" I screamed, barreling into Legolas. "THEY ARE SOOOO- NOSY!" I finished lamely. Then I sprinted into my room, ready to plan out the death-threat. I would deal with Legolas later… yes, we would have some fun later, when I was done… A stream of maniacal laughter issued from my room, and Legolas frowned, clearly thinking that it was best to avoid me for the moment…
Oooh, and how right he was.
A/N: Ok, so this was the beginning chapter, as you could tell. It's not as funny as it will be; after all, it is the BEGINNING chapter! Or, in other words, the introduction. And introductions are never that fun to read… but don't worry, hilarity will come soon enough. . I love it myself! So bear with me and forgive me for this rather dull chapter… the rest will be much better! Tla!