Author's Note: My, my, they've all been careening about in that space ship for quite a while now. To be quite honest, only the characters from Invader ZIM should have anything to do with space ships. I kind of dragged characters from The Nightmare Before Christmas into their mad world, not that their world is any saner. Nope, both Jhonen Vasquez and Tim Burton came up with some quality madness; I'm just using the elements. Now sit tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride.
Dib woke up with an ache in his back. As he looked up, he could see the very top of the pit he had fallen into. Under normal circumstances, he should have been dead. Then again, Earth's only hope couldn't just abandon the whole planet, could he? No. Definitely not. Dib got up, made sure he hadn't broken any bones before getting a good look at where he had landed. Rather, on whom he had landed. Dib was standing on the broken heaps of metal that were once Zim's RoboParents. Well, that was one thing out of the way.
"There has to be a way out of here fast enough to catch up with Zim," Dib said to himself.
"Nope. You're pretty much doomed," said the voice of the computer as a screen hovered past Dib.
"Hey! I was talking to myself!" Dib yelled before realizing that wasn't necessarily a good thing.
"Doomed and crazy. Big headed too," the screen said, stopping to face Dib.
"Do you mind? I'm trying to save the world here," Dib said before smiling to himself
"Hey, um, Zim's computer?"
"What?"
"You know, if I catch those dead kids, they can't come back and mess up the Base anymore. Though, I can't really do anything if I'm stuck down here."
"Oh no you don't! You're trying to trick me with your tricky human… tricks!" the computer exclaimed defensively.
"Ok. I'll just stay here and plant bugs in your system. Bugs that'll make you, I don't know, obey the dead kids without question. Heck, obey me without question too while I'm at it."
"No! That'd be helping the enemy. But, getting you out of here is helping the enemy too. Overheating!"
"Zim always wants me out of the Base anyway, think about it. Or calculate. Whatever you alien computers do."
The screen facing Dib said nothing as it paced in front of him. After much deliberation, it hovered slowly away from Dib, who took it as a sign to follow. By the time the screen stopped, it had led Dib to something rather peculiar: a room that housed a giant, floating metal pig. Dib figured this had to be some kind of a joke, or worse, a trap. When he started to back away, a claw came from the ceiling of the room, lifted Dib by the collar of his jacket and placed him on the pig.
"What is this?" Dib asked.
"Voot Cruiser Transportation Unit. Disguised as a pig to keep humans from suspecting abnormal behavior," the computer said in all seriousness.
"I can't believe this. How do I steer this thing?" Dib asked as he placed his hands on the pig's ears.
"Hold on," the computer said before tapping the disguised transportation unit on its "back"
The next anyone saw of Dib, he was dozens of feet in the air, screaming his large head off and holding on to that pig for dear life.
Meanwhile…
The bumblebee buzzed happily from flower to flower, collecting and spreading pollen and thinking of nothing but the hive. Yes, it would have to be going back soon if it was to make any honey today. After resting in one final sunflower, the bumblebee took off into the air, unaware of what was coming towards it.
"Hold still, Lock!" Jack yelled, pinning one of the trio at the very bottom of the cruiser.
"I'm Barrel!" yelled the figure being pinned.
"My mistake," Jack said in an apologetic tone before he was elbowed in the neck. "Do you mind?" he asked the squirming alien on top of him, who ignored the Pumpkin King.
"Get your filthy hands off of ZIM!" the Irken yelled to Shock, who was piled on top of him, Jack, and Barrel.
"I wish I could. You had to press that stupid button, Barrel!" Shock yelled.
"Lock told me to," Barrel said from the bottom of the pile.
"Sure, blame it on me," Lock said, struggling under Sally, who had somehow managed to stay on top of the pile.
"How can we land this?" Sally asked, confused by all the buttons.
"HA! Your inferior brainmeats cannot possibly begin to comprehend the brilliant landing techniques of the cruiser. Allow me," Zim said to Sally, as he crawled his way to the top of the pile, forcing Sally to occupy the space he had just left. Yes, the one right on top of Jack. Naturally.
"A bit close for comfort?" Jack asked Sally, sheepishly.
"Could you tell?" Sally asked in return, feeling her cheeks begin to grow warm.
"Come now, we had practice with that net Dib's sister used on us before."
"Yes, but we weren't so cramped then," Sally said right before Shock kicked the back of her head. "Ow! See what I mean?"
"Shock! Apologize for kicking Sally in the head," Jack said.
"Where else am I supposed to kick? I can't move," Shock complained.
"At least you're not all the way down here," Barrel said from underneath Jack and Sally.
"Shut up! I need utter silence to concentrate," Zim said to the group before looking straight ahead of him and gasping deeply. "No!"
"What?" Lock asked in an annoyed tone.
"Bee. A hideous Earth bee right in front of us, I'm steering around it."
"Around that little thing?" Lock asked, pointing to the teeny bumblebee flying in front of the cruiser.
"Do not question ZIM!"
"You baby, just squish it," Lock said, pressing a button on the control panel that sent the cruiser right against the bee.
Irken technology was very tricky. Space ships built by the Irken Empire could withstand the worst conditions, from the blistering fires of stars to temperatures thousands of degrees below zero. The most fierce of all animals could tear and bite at the ships without leaving so much as a scratch. However, for some horrible reason still unknown to Zim, not only could the Voot Cruiser not squish bees, but all of its functions broke down the moment it came in contact with any bee. So, while the bumblebee managed to fly away relatively unharmed, the Voot Cruiser sped out of control and went crashing down through the roof of an abandoned warehouse near the center of the city.
"You undead moron!" Zim yelled at Lock the moment the windshield opened, allowing the Irken to jump out and inspect the damage.
"What kind of space ship can't squish a bee?" Lock asked Zim in a frustrated tone as he jumped out after him.
"An AMAZING one! It's owned by me, ZIM!"
"Big whoop," Shock said as she climbed out of the cruiser, followed by Jack, Sally, and Barrel.
"I never wanna fly again," Barrel said.
"We're lucky the humans haven't seen us. I should re-kill you for almost blowing my cover," Zim said to Lock, Shock, and Barrel.
"Well, you can't. So we'll just be going now," Shock said as she and the boys turned around to find Jack and Sally staring down at the three of them.
"Yes, we'll all be going home," Jack said.
"You can't make us!" Lock yelled to Jack.
"Yeah! We'll just turn invisible and run away," Barrel said.
"We can turn invisible too," Sally said.
"Come on, you three, we've intruded enough on this world," Jack said.
"Yes, they've ruined my Base!" Zim exclaimed.
"But we can't go, we have a job. We're taking over the whole planet," Lock said.
"Who gave you that idea? Taking over Earth is my job!"
"Not anymore. The tall guys gave it to us," Shock said.
"How dare you just refer to the Almighty Tallest as 'guys'? Disgraceful!" Zim yelled. "And such lies you're telling! The Tallest would never give such an important mission to non-Irkens. Filthy liars!"
"Enough!" Jack yelled, causing even Zim to jump up a little. "Lock, Shock, Barrel, we are going home whether or not you want to because I did not go through all the trouble of trying to rescue you to go home empty-handed!"
"Jack?" Sally asked him after noticing something out of the corner of her eye.
"Furthermore, you are going to apologize for Zim for making a mess of his Base. It is not your personal playroom."
"Yes, sir," the trio said in unison, heads hung down respectfully.
"Jack?" Sally asked once more.
"Yes?" Jack asked Sally, only to watch a small, giggling robot crash through a window of the warehouse and land right before them.
"GIR! About time you came to fetch me from these stink beasts," Zim said.
"Whoo! We're having a party! Awwww, I wish I brought waffles," GIR said, fluctuating from happy to sad in less than thirty seconds before reverting to happy once more.
"No, GIR, this isn't a party."
"Yeah it is. Dib's coming!"
"The Dib? Why? Where is he?"
"He's riding on a giant pig," GIR stated, tongue sticking out once he finished that sentence.
"Giant pig?" Jack asked before the question was answered.
No less than a minute after GIR announced Dib's arrival, a giant metal pig fell through the same hole the cruiser had left on the warehouse. On top of it was Dib, looking a little sick but relatively fine. At least the pig was able to track the cruiser, that piece of Zim's equipment miraculously worked. Now it was time to finish what they had all started. Dib tied Lock, Shock, and Barrel together using the inverted ectoplasm-coated rope.
"There. They can't phase out even if they wanted to," Dib said to Jack and Sally.
"Good," Jack said to Dib before turning his attention to Lock, Shock, and Barrel. "Now, do you have anything to say to Zim and Dib?"
"We have to apologize to Big Head too?" Shock asked indignantly.
"Yes. I mean, no! His name is Dib," Jack said, smiling bashfully at Dib.
"Sorry for messing all your stuff up," Lock said to Zim in a forced tone.
"Sorry for saying your head's big, even though it is," Shock said to Dib, who shook his head and sighed.
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. Can we go now? These ropes are itchy," Barrel said to Jack and Sally.
"I suppose so," Jack said as he picked the three of them up.
"Are you coming with us, Dib?" Sally asked.
"Yeah, you know, to make sure you get home alright," Dib said.
"Thank you," Jack said just before Zim cleared his throat.
"I'm going as well. I should grace you with one final gaze at my wonderful presence before you go off to that cesspool you call a home," Zim announced, GIR smiling widely as he did so.
"Oh. Well, let's go then," Jack said in a slightly disappointed tone as the group of eight made it out of the warehouse and over to the labs.
Meanwhile…
Where was that boy? Professor Membrane's eyes continued to stare at the clock. From the clock to the brainless body, then to the clock once more at times. Dib, even though his sister went to help him, the professor couldn't help but worry. With that boy and his infatuation with the supernatural, anything could happen. It wasn't until he got a call through his goggles from security, a report of a large-headed boy raving about other dimensions, that he relaxed a bit. The professor sent Simmons to bring the group to him, and smiled under the collar of his lab coat when he saw them enter the room with Simmons.
"Sir, your son and his, um, friends," Simmons said nervously as Diband a lanky skeleton carrying three less-than-healthy looking children passed him.
"Son, you were able to do it after all. You've made me quite proud," Professor Membrane said.
"Thanks, Dad. Where is the Dimensional Traveler?" Dib asked.
"In another sector. Now, before I take any of you there, I need to ask if any of you recognize this man," the professor said as he moved over to reveal Doctor Finkelstein lying on a table.
"Baldy Duck Man!" GIR exclaimed, waving his dog-costumed arms before Zim shushed him. "I knew I forgot something!"
"Did your dog just-" Simmons began to ask Zim.
"Nonsense. That was, uh, me! Yes! I am a fan of the duck resembling bald man," Zim said nervously.
"Doctor!" Sally exclaimed as she ran over to the body.
"Doctor?" Professor Membrane asked.
"He's the mad scientist back home," Jack explained.
"Is he alright?" Sally asked before opening his head. "His brain! Where is it?"
"That's what we wanted to know," Simmons said, Zim relieved the human's attention had turned away from him.
"Knowing Oogie, it's probably back at home somewhere," Jack said. "We'd better get home quickly if we want to fix it."
"Thank you for keeping him, sir," Sally said to Professor Membrane as she tried to lift the mad scientist.
"Now, now, no need to strain yourself," Professor Membrane said as he helped her.
They walked down to the sector the traveler was kept in, making sure that no member of the group was lost or capable of escaping. When they got there, Simmons turned the machine on. The coordinates had to be reset, One-Zero-Two-Nine-One-Nine-Nine-Three, to make sure they were heading to the right dimension. First in were Lock, Shock, and Barrel, untied and looking rather sullen at going back home. Next was the body of the doctor, which Sally put in gently, feeling someone's hands on the other side take him from her grasp.
"May we have a few moments alone, sir?" Jack asked Professor Membrane, nodding to Dib, Zim, and GIR.
"I'll make sure they don't escape, Dad," Dib said.
"Well, you already caught them. Might as well say good-bye. Simmons, let's give them a few moments," Professor Membrane said to his assistant as they left the room.
"I knew it. I knew you couldn't resist my almightyness," Zim said pompously.
"That and, well, could you give me that arm piece you're wearing?" Sally asked Zim.
"Here, take it. It's from your filthy world anyway," Zim said, taking it off and throwing it at Sally's feet.
"Oh, before I forget, there is something I wanted to give you, Zim," Jack said, digging into a pocket of his jacket and pulling out the hat he was given during the night he and Sally visited a nightclub.
"Really?" Zim asked curiously.
"Yes, you definitely deserve it," Jack said waving his hands a bit over the hat, staring at it before giving it to Zim. "Now, don't put it on until you get to the Base, you'll spoil all of its power if you do," Jack finished, watching Zim grab the hat from his hands greedily.
"Come, GIR! To the Base," Zim said, marching out of the room.
"Bye, crunchy lady! I love you!" GIR exclaimed to Sally before following Zim.
"How could you?" Dib asked Jack, feeling betrayed.
"Don't worry, Dib. That hat won't help Zim take over the world," Jack said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "When he puts it on, he'll have nightmare visions for weeks."
"Thanks," Dib said, not knowing anything better to say.
"You're quite welcome," Jack replied.
"It was nice to meet you, Dib," Sally said, stooping over to pick up the arm piece Zim had thrown at her.
"Will I ever see you guys again?"
"Perhaps, one can never be sure of what can happen in the future," Jack said. "And if we do meet again, let's hope it will be under better conditions."
"Sounds good to me," Dib said.
"Good-bye, Dib," Sally said, ruffling his hair a bit.
"Hey, you never do that to me when we say good-bye," Jack teased Sally
"You don't have hair," Sally said off the top of her head.
"Oh, right," Jack said, feeling his skull with his right hand. "So long, Dib. And, if by chance we don't meet again, good luck."
"Thanks, and bye," Dib said.
And with another skeletal grin, Jack Skellington grabbed Sally's left hand and walked with her into the portal. Dib waved to them until they blended into their surroundings and vanished from sight. So left the nicest people Dib had ever known up to that point in his life. Of course, they were dead and from another dimension. Such was the life of a paranormal investigator.
To Be Continued…