Chapter 4

Phaedra sat in the front passenger seat of Giles' ancient Citroen. Her face was buried in her hands, her dark hair felling down the sides of her face, her shoulders shuddering with her silent sobs. She had lost her grandmother, someone so close to her. Phae felt like a part of her world, a part of her heart, had been torn away from her.

"Still crying, eh, pet?" asked an all-too-familiar voice.

Phae lowered her hands, brushing her hair back and wiping away the tears. "If you lost your g-grandmother, you'd b-be crying t-too, Spike," she said to the bleached blonde vampire, trying to steady her voice.

Spike put a comforting arm around her. "For your information, I killed my own mother." He continued even as Phae shot him an alarmed look, her eyes wide. "I know it's hard, luv, but you need to be strong and move on. Your grandmother would want that, wouldn't she?"

Phae looked down at her hands again as fresh tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She nodded her head. "Why is this happening to me? All these deaths... First my grandfather, then Dad, and now...and now...Nana." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "How am I supposed to get over this and move on?"

"You will, pet, you can and you will. And you won't be alone. You have Buffy, Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara and Dawn. They'll help you." Spike glanced out the window across him. "I'd best be off now. Don't worry, you'll be okay. And if you tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you."

Saying that, he left. Phae started to say something when she heard voices and, looking out the same window Spike had, she saw the rest of the Scoobies. She dried her eyes again and forced a smile on her face. Giles climbed into the seat beside her, Buffy and Dawn getting in behind. Xander was going to drop Willow, Tara and Anya off.

"How're you holding up?" Dawn asked, reaching over to give her best friend's shoulder a squeeze. "You could stay the night at our place."

Phae shook her head. "I'm good, thanks. I'll be okay at home. Really."

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "We really wouldn't mind the company."

"I'll be okay," Phae insisted.

"Well, if you need anything," Giles started.

"I'll call," the young witch finished.

She stayed silent for the rest of the journey, half-listening as Giles, Buffy and Dawn talked about other things. Before she knew it, Giles pulled up at her house. She blinked, then got out of the car. As she was about to close the door, Giles stopped her.

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own? I mean, it's times like these when-"

Phae interrupted him with an impatient sigh. "Giles, I'm going to be okay. I'm a big girl. I can and know how to take care of myself, okay? Now goodnight." She slammed the car door shut, then turned and walked up the driveway to her front door, aware of the three pairs of eyes watching her form the car.

Phae let herself in the house and flicked on the lights, closing the door behind her. She paused, hearing Giles' car leave. Then she faced the house, and a sad sigh escaped her lips. Suddenly, the house seemed so big. So alone. She rubbed her arms, shivering.

She tried not to think about how empty the house was, not that... She shook her head, forcing the thought out. She went over to the couch and flopped down, turning on the TV. She found herself watching a soap opera, and just stared at the images on the screen, not really processing anything.

She had been staring at it for some time when she felt the other end of the couch sink in. Phae looked up, filled with a mixture of fear, surprise and a little hope. A man sat on the couch, white light clearing. He looked at the TV.

"Didn't think you watched soap operas, honey," the man said.

Phae gasped. It looked like...it sounded like...but it couldn't be. Her father was dead, had been dead for several years. Then why did it seem like he was sitting beside her, talking to her?