The Curious Case Of The Boy That Cried "Bear"
and what happened to his friends
An old man is sat on a bench in the park, surrounded by wide-eyed children. The sun is shining and someone screams pitifully as their soul is sent to the Shadows.
"Gather around children," the man whispered hoarsely. "For the tale I am about to tell you is not for the faint hearted. It concerns the welfare of three young males, a Yugi Motou, a Yami Yugi and-"
"Joey!" Yugi cried in exasperation. "Why did you bring the chainsaw, again?" He pulled the gleaming blade out of the rucksack and waved it around.
"Hey man, careful wi' dat! I brought it so's we can get firewood for our campfire," Joey said brightly as he snatched the dangerous contraption back.
"Yeah Joey, and there aren't any sticks lying around either, so I'll just bring my tractor and run down a few trees," Yami said sardonically.
"Yami, it's bulldozer, not tractor. I think you should stick to duelling," Yugi chipped in superiorly.
Everyone lapsed into a sullen silence and went about setting up camp deep in the heart of the woods.
"Say, how about a friendly duel, Joey?" Yami broke in.
"Why not?"
So a makeshift duelling arena was assembled, and soon the boys were down to some serious duelling.
"Hah! I killed your Buster Blader, hah, I'm better dan you!" Joey taunted, waving his duel disc with its Life Point display in front of Yami's nose.
"I thought you said this was going to be a friendly," Yugi murmured, bored.
"The Heart Of The Cards will show you," Yami said, eyes narrowed.
A while later Joey was bored too. Yami was attempting another of his million dollar moves, which meant that he had to decide whether it was in his best interests to sacrifice his Celtic Guardian to summon Gaia or wait for his Dark Magician. Yami had also miraculously- well not really, I mean, come on, it's Joey- taken the lead in the game.
Suddenly Joey had a brain wave. Wouldn't it be funny, to see the looks on Yugi and Yami's faces, if he cried-
"Bear!"
"Huh? Wha?" Yugi and Yami jumped up, staring wildly. "Where, where? Get the chainsaw!"
"Hahahaha!" Joey cried, pointing at them. Man, they looked so stupid!
"That's not funny," Yugi whined.
Back to the duel. Once again, Joey found himself testing his patience, so he thought he'd play the same trick again.
"Bear!" – as if he couldn't be more original.
"Gah! Holy Ra, save me!" Yami yelled, throwing his cards up and scooting up a tree.
"Hahahahaha, I'm dying wi' laughter here!" Tears were streaming down Joey's face, and he was bent double, cracking up. "You look stupid! And, I can see your cards, you have a Call o' Da Haunted, a-"
After Yugi had helped Yami down from the tree the trick was repeated for a third time. The responses Joey received this time were not half as entertaining. Yugi barely looked up from his edition of Champion Duellist and Yami took no notice, although his right eye twitched slightly.
Suddenly Joey heard a rustling behind him. Spinning around, he saw something huge dive into the bushes.
"G-guys," he murmured nervously. He thought he saw a pair of eyes squinting hungrily at him. Joey gulped. "G-guys, I think we have a-"
"Not now Joey," Yami interrupted, waving him off. "I must believe in the Heart Of The Cards if I am to pull this one off…"
"Arghhh!" Joey's bloodcurdling scream was cut off by a crunching noise. Looking up, Yami found himself eye to eye with a real live bear. A hand was sticking out of the corner of the bear's mouth. It flopped once.
"Gah, Joey was right!" Yami exclaimed, backing away, eye twitching madly.
"Get the chainsaw!" Yugi screeched.
"No, I have it under control! I sacrifice Celtic Guardian and Big Shield Gardna to summon the Dark Magician!" Yami cried triumphantly as he brandished the Dark Magician card at the bear.
"What are you doing, you fool?" Yugi yelled, rummaging desperately for the chainsaw.
"The Heart Of The cards will save us fro-" Crunch!
"Nooooo!" Yugi cried. "Take that!" He switched the chainsaw on, and the blade whirred menacingly.
Scared, the bear lumbered off, trampling on Millennium Puzzle as it disappeared, but it was too late, Joey and Yami were lost to the world forever.
And the moral of the story is: There is no Heart In the Cards.
Tempest: Shouldn't it be "Never cry 'Bear'?"
Sakina: Shut up Hikari, it's my fic.
Anyways, if you liked this, check out my other humour fic- Ways To Annoy Yami Yugi like the title says, and if anyone has any more ideas on silly stories with morals, send them in!