SOMA
6.
Lily shuffle d her feet as they left the Headmaster's office. It had been rather… awkward.
James entered the room and they pretended they didn't see each other. Everyone else got quiet, even Dumbledore seemed to be watching them with a kind of reverence. Had you seen how Lily and James could fight you too would keep quiet. James strode over to the Headmaster's desk, not looking at anyone and said "You wanted to see me?"
Dumbledore said yes, and finished placating Sirius and Dorie before shooing them all out aside from James. During the couple minutes of standing, waiting, and not looking at anyone, Lily thought about everything but James. James thought about everything relating to Lily. He looked at her twice and was relieved to find all he felt when he saw her was a dull blank feeling.
Good, he thought.
He saw her engagement ring. It was enormous. It made him feel another dull thud and he winced this time.
Lily kept her eyes trained on Dorie's in an uncomfortable forced eye contact kind of way. Dorie talked about engagement rings for a long time and then how she'd dated Stephen McCarthy and how they'd split up once he started talking about marriage.
"How old are you again?" Dorie asked her.
"Nineteen" she replied with a smile.
"Isn't Thomas almost thirty?"
Lily was sure she heard someone give an amused snort.
"He's twenty-eight."
Now outside the headmaster's office Lily was feeling a kind of faintness that started in her stomach and reached to the top of her head. She reasoned it was from concentrating on not thinking about James so much. That must have been it.
"Have you any idea where Remus is?" Lily asked Sirius
"Er—yeah. He's about" he said with a shrug, "Why?"
"I'm supposed to go grab a drink with him" she said impatiently
"Oh, great" Sirius grinned. "Like old times, yeah? He should be up this way any time now."
"I don't really have time—" Lily started to say
"Shut up, Evans. I haven't seen you in a year, come off it." Sirius slung his arm around her shoulders and Lily relaxed slightly. It was still too much like James for her liking. She had adored Sirius at one time. He was the kind of person who you could just watch and be amused.
The Headmaster's office door opened and James slipped out. He was wearing Jeans and a muggle polo shirt. He leaned against the closed door and for what seemed like far too long they just looked at each other. Lily clenched her fist and pulled away from Sirius. "No, I really can't" she couldn't stop herself from glancing at James but he had started walking away down the corridor.
"Are you sure?" asked Peter
"Yes, well" she nodded, suddenly flustered. "I am busy, so if you could tell Remus I'm sorry…?"
Sirius looked annoyed. He didn't exactly put up with bullshit well. Lily knew it was obvious she just wanted to be away from James. She gave him a weak smile and he rolled his eyes and stalked off after James. "Prongs!" he shouted "Wait up, mate"
Lily closed her eyes, feeling frustrated tears start to press at the back of her eyelids. She felt a cold hand on her elbow and looked up to see Peter, distress in his watery blue eyes.
"Don't pay attention to them, Lily" he said kindly, "Sirius just… doesn't like not getting his way. And James…er…" he trailed off, not sure what else to say.
Lily sniffed. She felt overwhelmed and all she wanted to do was leave but it was Hogwarts and she couldn't apparate inside the castle. She put her hands up to her face and let out a sob. "I'm sorry," she bubbled at him, "I'm sorry, Peter…I don't know why I'm crying about this. It's stupid…"
And then she was surprised to find Peter hugging her. He was shorter than her so it was a bit awkward but Lily appreciated it none the less.
"Thank you" she said, pulling away quickly.
"Of course, Lily. I hope that we're still friends?" he asked.
"Yes, Peter. Of course" she smiled at him, through hazy eyes. She sniffed again. "So what have you been up to? Busy fighting evil and being chivalrous and such?"
Lily gave a short laugh at the look on Peter's face.
"God, no" he said, looking horrified. "I want nothing to do with it, any of it. I just… I know we must fight but it just seems to be to no avail." He sighed. "I'm working with Peter as Dorcus Meadow's secret keeper. She's a handful" he added, rolling his eyes.
"I could tell," Lily grinned
"To tell you the truth," Peter snorted "I think Sirius is in love with her."
Lily laughed and found her self saying they should meet up for a drink at some point. How did that happen?
"I'd love to" he beamed, "Just the gentler half of the Marauders, right?"
"Right," Lily smiled.
Peter pulled a pocked watch out from his pants' pocked and sighed. "I must be going though, Lily. Send me an owl, alright?"
"I will." She nodded, earnestly "Tell Remus I'm sorry" she added
"I'll do that"
They hugged again and then Peter took off down the hallway in the same direction as the others had gone. Lily stood for a moment, staring at the statue outside Dumbledore's office. Then she started crying again.
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Right, so, not exactly as much Lily/James as I kind of vaguely promised. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the story, especially simply sarcastic and jewls5. You guys have me some amazing feedback and that's so appreciated so this chapter is dedicated to the two of you.
Thanks, luvs.