Part Four
197.S9.9.02
I don't know what to say anymore.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The only way to get my brain off things was to do as Nooj asked me. Yeah, I was really excited about getting to tinker around with his prosthetic arm last night… but then things happened, and I practically forgot about it until he grabbed me this morning and told me it was time.
But it did make my head clear, to focus on the task. Man. It's even more amazing than the leg, because it's so much more dexterous than I thought. That hand, with a little oiling and some reconfiguring, could grasp and hold and move just like it was part of the regular anatomy. This is really an advance over the old types of prosthetics; before, they were just basically decorations so people didn't look totally weird and disfigured. This, man? Nooj is an art form. The machina is so subtle and sensitive, it made me wonder where whoever built him got the technology.
He swears it was Al Bhed technicians, but I can't believe Al Bhed would be that sloppy. It was a mess in there. I mean, there are some things that every Al Bhed is born knowing, and one of them is how to efficiently wire things.
It makes me think that maybe they were Spiran-born Al Bhed – you know the type, the ones who are the kids of Yevon converts. Those people who were so easy to manipulate that Yevon actually converted some of them and made… well, actually, I don't know what was made of them. We never heard from Jabu and his family again after they went to Bevelle. Maybe they're the ones who built this prosthetics… because, man, with the financial backing of Yevon, they could afford to get parts and materials that we could never dream of. Not to mention that they probably aren't being shouted at every time they show their face in non-desert public. Or having things thrown at them.
But, anyway, Nooj seems pleased. He's strutting around, showing off. I even cleaned shined the parts for him, though I don't think he really noticed. I imagine it'd have to suck to have your arm rusting.
He flinched. A lot. I felt like I was hurting him, even though all logic says that you can't hurt a guy by popping a connector out in his prosthetic forearm. It was like he could feel through the machina… amazing. I can't imagine what that would be like. I want to know more. I want to know what it's like inside his head… if he can really feel the machina. It seems like he can… he can clench his fist any way he likes, move all his fingers independently. Though it's probably difficult to walk with such weight on his one side, which would account for the limp, he's astoundingly dexterous with that hand.
I want to know. I have to know. It gives me something to work on.
And now, to finally prove that I am as good of a shot as I've been boasting. Heh. Maybe I have been boasting a little bit, but… no one beats an Al Bhed with machina. That's the simple truth of it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Having assured Baralai that he'll be fine seems to have done the trick, regardless of what it really means. He shot better this afternoon than he ever has. Just between you and me, zuinhym, I think he outshot both Nooj and Paine.
For all Nooj's ragging on him, he seemed impressed with Lai's work. Yeah, I had to stand behind him and put my hands on his shoulders when he started to shake with nerves, and that seemed to help.
I've learned a lot about Lai. He's… well.
Well.
You see, I figured him out. The reason he was so scared, so freaked out, so… well, uncomfortable. And I did something about it.
Yeah, it was dumb. Really dumb. Sleeping with your fellow candidates when you're all competing… stupid. It's just another stupid thing I've done in my life, though. And… it seemed to help, except for when he remembered I was Al Bhed.
Man, maybe I should lose the other eye. Then no one'd be able to tell… except I'd still work with machina, even if I couldn't see. I don't think anything could keep me away.
But, anyway. The guy needs to feel acceptance, like he has a place, or something. I finally got that about him… it only took him practically making a nest against my shoulder and falling asleep there. He told me he actually forgot that we were supposed to be enemies.
I guess that's a good thing.
But yeah, I'm not saying it was bad or anything. Far from that. It was actually rather nice… I'd forgotten what it was like to lie with someone in the grass, especially in the early night. Back home, we'd just be waking up then, just heading out for the first time to do our work. It was the ideal time, because sometimes the older people would sleep later because they couldn't stand the heat of the leftover day. It reminded me of home.
Except the way he cried afterwards, with our fluids all over each other's body, and he said 'Yevon will abandon me now'. What's that supposed to mean?
But that was last night. I thought, after his little mini-freak-out, that it'd be the last time. But then he came to me today, this morning right after I got done with Nooj, and apologized. Apologized! When was the last time a Yevonite apologized to an Al Bhed? Never. So, yeah. That was good.
And then it was back to business. Back to training. No sense wasting all our time in dalliance. I wonder if he'll come to me tonight. I think I'd have to say I hope he does. It was nice… and a good stress reliever. There's nothing that builds up more stress than sitting around doing absolutely nothing for a week.
And there's nothing that relieves stress more than… well, whatever that was that Baralai and I did on the hill beside the road last night.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He did.
It's so weird, but good at the same time. He'll only be affectionate when Nooj isn't around, I think. It's like he doesn't want to get in trouble.
He came and sat next to me as I lay in my bedroll, and leaned back against my stomach for a while. He didn't say a word. I ran my hands through his hair – it's soft, like a long-haired cat's – and he smiled at me and went back to his sleeping bag.
I still can't get used to sleeping at nights.