Part Five

197S9.9.03

So, I guess Nooj wants me to take Paine off to teach her how to shoot. Good idea, I said. Maybe he wants some time for a cold shower, heh.

I guess it's good that I've kind of become the weapons instructor of this group… not that I really know anything about anything besides firearms, really. I mean, yeah, I can do some damage with the pair of knives I've got secreted in my boots – those were my first weapon, you know – but firearms are my pride and joy. I've still got the plans for my invention in my pouch, and I still work on them sometimes. I just want something that can be both a devastating melee weapon as well as a long-distance weapon. A cross between the knives and the guns, I guess.

Well, sort of. Man, I saw this duel once way back when I was a little kid, when two guys fought it out just for fun in a junkyard. The guy who eventually won ended up using an old chainsaw to do battle with. That was the coolest things ever – I think so at least – so I want to make that a part of my prototype. Can you imagine? I've tried to design it so it's got a projectile weapon on one end and a sort of circular saw on the other. It's nearly impossible to pull off – man, the thing's gonna be huge, so I have to figure out a way for it to fire projectiles accurately – but someday, I'm gonna do it. Not here, though. I don't have the time anymore, with having to teach everybody how to shoot.

I hope Paine'll be a good student, at least as good as Lai's been… and I hope I won't have to sleep with her to get her to relax. I think if I did, Noojster would kill me.

Heh. Maybe one day, the squad leader himself will ask for lessons. I wonder if he'd lower himself to that level… well, he already has me with my hands inside his machina, so I don't think it's much further for him to ask me to teach him how to best operate machina, yeah? I don't know. I'll try not to be gleeful when it happens.

I mean, I suppose it's a good military move. He didn't seem pleased at all with Lai at the beginning, and he obviously knows I've been working with Lai, so I guess he attributes Lai's success with shooting to my instruction. I don't really know that I did anything other than tell him to calm down, but whatever. Anyone can learn to shoot a gun, even Paine.

I hope.

I guess we'll see how good of a weapons instructor I make.

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Well, that went well. I guess. Paine's better, though she sulked about having to use something besides a sword. I think that she started off hating me, but a few teasing remarks about the Maesters later, she warmed up nicely.

Of course, then I had to say something about Nooj, and she nearly slugged me. Heh. Man, I'd hate to get hit by her. She's fierce! Haha. Strong girl, though. She reminds me of the Al Bhed women, though she's clearly not an Al Bhed with those red eyes.

So weird. Silver hair and red eyes. She looks like one of the machina servant bots that were all the rage when I was a kid. Yeah, they didn't even bother making them look like humans, with the proper color skin, because it cost too much and wasn't worth it anyway. Al Bhed tend to like machina more than other humans anyway, so it was a good move. But, yeah, Paine reminds me of them, mostly because of her eyes. The servant bots had these laser-guided 'eyes' that could recognize certain objects when they scanned them, and so their 'eyes' were red, like lasers. Of course, Paine's eyes aren't lasers…

…or are they?

No, I think she would have shot me with them when I made that crack about Nooj tearing off his arm and using it as a weapon to beat a fiend with. I should have said he'd use it to beat a Maester… because I think he would, if it came down to it. Can you imagine? It'd be hilarious.

Yeah, anyway, I think Paine likes me, for the most part. Or, at least, she's not going to kill me. That's always good… not that I really fear the recorder killing me since they're supposed to be impartial, but considering she's sleeping with Nooj (she told me so herself, sort of, in passing… okay, maybe she didn't tell me at all, but when she got all bristly when I made fun of him, I knew. It's easy to know these things!), I don't think she's so impartial. Heh. I bet the Maesters would off her if they found out.

It makes me wonder if that's why they put the three of us together. I mean, we're all so different… maybe they don't want us to gel at all. Maybe they want us to fight each other. I mean, why else would they put a devout Yevonite in a squad with an Al Bhed? Or with a man half made of machina? Baralai, by all means, should be plotting our deaths in the back of his mind. I guess we're lucky that Lai's a pretty forgiving guy and has his own doubts about Yevon – sort of, I guess – or else he'd've cast something horrible on us by now.

It's disturbing, though. Do they really want us to fight amongst ourselves? What does that accomplish? Shouldn't we all be working as a team to defeat Sin… or whatever it is that we're supposed to do? Oh yeah, to protect the Maesters, that's what Nooj said. Heh. Some job for an Al Bhed. I wonder if they'll kill me even if I manage to survive until the end.

Probably.

That's depressing.

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…

Baralai has a mark on his cheek.

It's from Nooj.

He's so dead.

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Okay, so maybe Nooj isn't dead. But he almost was.

He made Lai cry.

I can't forgive him for that, the bastard. Yccruma. Lai doesn't deserve anything like that, not after he totally saved my ass. I bet Nooj doesn't even know. He doesn't even see Baralai's abilities.

Ugh, jerk. I can't believe it. I tried to put him in his place, but then I remembered exactly what I thought about earlier… that's exactly what the Maesters want. They want us to fight amongst ourselves. If I had killed Nooj – and believe me, I wanted to! -- where would that have gotten us? We would have been out an experienced military guy, out a squad leader, and one fewer on our team. We need all we can get, and Nooj can do some serious damage with that machina arm of his. That, and he's the one who has really shaped up this squad. He's the only one who knows how. I sure don't.

So, I forced myself to cool off. It'd be really dumb to do anything to him… so I settled for sending my message that he shouldn't mess with Baralai. I hope he got it. I hope he got that I know a lot more about the guy than he does, and therefore I know that he has no right to do anything like that to him.

I've also decided that now I have to help Lai even more. I have to help him find his courage. Maybe this experience will give him some guts. I hope so… he has a million useful skills, but he just needs to have the guts to use them, you know? So I'll let him know that I still have faith – heh – in him, and maybe he'll learn from it.

Because, hey, I could've sat around and cried when that engine exploded on me and took my eye… and I did, for a few days. And then I realized that, man, I'd never connect a fuel line incorrectly again, and since then I've been an even better mechanic for it. And sexier, because, come on, who can resist a guy with an eyepatch?

So, even things that suck can be useful. I have to let Baralai know this.

197S9.9.04

So, Nooj did ask me for a shooting lesson this morning, right after I got up. I still can't get used to getting up in the mornings, but it's coming easier now. It's just weird to wake up when the sun's rising in the sky rather than when it's setting. Oh well, I'll adjust.

Anyway, he didn't do badly, but not nearly as well as Paine or Lai did. He's too set in his ways, too unwilling to take instruction. I'm not his superior officer, I think, so that's a problem. I had to do more by demonstration than by verbal instruction, which was kind of weird. I let him watch me shoot and then copy me, and it worked better that way.

He didn't say he was sorry for anything he did to Lai, but I didn't expect that. Instead, he asked me some things about him, and I answered as truthfully as I know how. I think he wants to have some measure of respect for Baralai but is having a hard time finding things that would give him that. Nooj is military minded, and Baralai… isn't. Everything that's respectable about Baralai has nothing to do with the military. Maybe someday Nooj will understand that. And maybe, someday, Baralai will learn something militaristic from Nooj. I just hope they don't start fighting… because I'd hate to play into the hands of the Maesters. I'd hate to do what they want.

I think I've made it my personal mission to defy the Maesters in every way possible… including keeping the peace within my squad. I'll do whatever I have to, but damnit, we're all going to become friends. I've never had to force other people to be friends before, but I'm sure there's a way. I'll be the peacemaker. Heh. Who would've thought, an Al Bhed as a peacemaker? Well… an Al Bhed will do anything to defy Yevon.

Including sleeping with a devotee.