A/N: Sometimes I wonder if this story makes sense on its own. I don't know. In case you need reminded, this is a metafic (or maybe just an accompaniment) to Ikonopeiston's The Confessional. If you're not reading that one also, you probably should. It'll likely make this fic make much more sense.

Part Seven

197S9.9.08

So much stuff has happened in the past few hours. I dunno, I guess with everything I kinda forgot that we were supposed to be boarding the ship to go to our first destination today. Before I really knew what was going on, we were in formation and going to the boats.

Boats. I love them! So much water! It's like sailing a ship through heaven. I think I'll spend more time looking over the edge at the fish and the other creatures swimming under the water than I will doing anything else. Well, unless I can sneak into the engine room. Then I'll probably spend more time there. I've always liked engines… they're what I'm best with. I've always wanted to be an Engineer, you know, the guy in charge of making sure everything's working on board a boat or an airship or something.

Of course, the only airship that we have access to is that one that old Cid is chasing under the water. Heh. We can dream, of course. Someday we'll be able to build them perfectly – and I'll be the Engineer for one!

…only if I survive all this, though. We're waiting for orders to get on the boat now. It's so much the same, everything they do, hurry up and wait wait wait. They rushed us into formation, and now that we're here, the ship… is it a ship, or a boat? I don't even know which one… isn't even here yet. And then, we're going to be one of the last teams to board, they said, so chances are that we're going to be sitting around here for long enough to get our legs stiff. Great.

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Still bored. The first team isn't even settled in on board yet. To the amusement of everyone watching, Baralai challenged me to a hand-to-hand duel. He always warned me that he was going to do it, but I didn't expect him to do it just then. It seems he found a staff somewhere… heavy and pointed, enough to do some serious damage. I mean, I guess he told me sometime that Yevon teaches its clergy some fighting skills and that he had chosen hand-to-hand, but I guess I always just thought of him as a Summoner-mage kind of guy.

He insists that he's more comfortable defending himself with the staff than with a gun. Crazy! I don't understand. Why would you want to run up to a fiend and hit it with a stick instead of shoot it from a long distance away? It doesn't make sense.

But, anyway, he challenged me, and put his staff down. "I don't want you to lose the other eye," he said. Tch. Neither do I.

It didn't last very long. He's so fast. I mean, he's a little guy with long legs and quick hands, so it makes sense that he'd kick my ycc in a hand-to-hand fight. I've never really fought hand-to-hand without a weapon before. I can hold my own with a knife (or any kind of bladed weapon, I guess), but I've never been taught how to do things. I just kick and slash and get away, yeah? That's how it works best. But Lai's obviously been taught exactly where the weaknesses are and precisely where to strike and with what force and then, when the opponent least expects it, to jab your knee into his stomach.

Ow.

But he obviously didn't want to hurt me, because I think he seriously could have if he had tried. I mean, he could do some serious damage to anybody, if only because they're not expecting it! Remind me to never fight Lai unless he's far away and doesn't have a gun. Not like that'll happen, because I practically ordered him to always have a firearm on him, just in case. With whatever crazy thing the Maesters are going to send us off to do, I have a feeling that we're going to need all the weapons we can get our hands on.

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So, we're on board. Finally.

Man, it stinks on here, though. Doesn't anyone bathe? Why not? With all this water around, you would think they would take advantage of it. Then again, most of them are Spirans. Spirans are all water-fat bastards. I'll bet none of the Al Bhed on this ship stink.

Yeah, so after we got all our stuff secured, Noojster asked me to carry those syacdanbecdumc with me. I don't want to carry them… even thinking about them and how treacherous they are makes me uncomfortable. To have such defiled machina on my person? It's like a horrible insult. But I guess it's better to keep them from the Maesters in case they decide they want to use them. We can't have them using them. That's not good at all.

But still, I can feel them in the loops inside my knees, and I don't like that. Usually my knives go there, but they were rubbing on my shins and it was getting uncomfortable so I moved them to the outside. No one'll think to look on the inside of my pantlegs. Only Lai'll find anything of use there.

Heh. So dirty.

I did try to sneak into the engine room, though. I was quickly thrown out. "Yes, we have to use the evil machina for this, but don't touch it!" Hah. I'm willing to bet that anyone in that room is far less competent than me. Oh well. It means I get to go hang out on the deck. So much water! I just want to swim in it!

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Everyone's praising Baralai already. I guess he used some magic on some guy that Paine pissed off. I don't know, I wasn't watching. Too busy watching the whales! There are whales! It's been so long since I've seen any! I swear, in the distance, I can see the mountains. Mountains… with snow. I want to see snow sometime. Just once in my life, and I'll be thankful.

197S9.9.09

Noojster's not a sailor, eh? I always knew some people got sick on ships – especially if they'd never been on one before – but he's pretty much the last person I would have expected to get caycelghacc.

But, it totally sucks for him. He can't help it, and it's not a sign of weakness or anything. It's just like some people are tall and some are short – some get caycelg and some don't. I totally know it would humiliate him if others knew of it because not all people are so accepting of 'weakness', so Paine and I have done our best to seclude him from the others so no one else has to know. Lai's taken up staying next to him and casting some piece of magic or another on him to keep him asleep. Occasionally he wakes up and acts all delirious, but Lai's always there to fix things. Man, Lai's really diligent. I don't think he's even slept.

I slept, last night. I was up on the deck, though, because everyone kept making noise down below. It was really incredible to sleep with the occasional spray of water on my face throughout the night. Of course, I had to be interrupted by one of the three women on this ship, the cute black-haired Spiran one. Of course, she's not so cute anymore because she's been sleeping with everyone on this ship, and everybody knows that.

She propositioned me for sex! Ugh. I can't even begin to imagine how many diseases she has. Not only is she Spiran, but she's been sleeping with Spirans… lots of Spirans… and all Spirans (except Lai) have diseases… so yeah, that was a definite no. As awesome as having sex on the deck of a ship in the middle of the night with the water spraying on my face would be, E tuh'd drehg cu. I'm totally not going to get a disease for something like that. Diseases are permanent, man!

Besides, maybe I can convince Lai to come up here tonight if he needs a break from taking care of the Noojster. I mean, Paine can watch him by herself for a while, right? I'm sure that he'd probably like that better, anyway.

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I swam with the fishes!

That's all. I'm wet. Drying off now!

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Lai! Argh! He won't take a break, he's so tyshat diligent. He won't leave Noojster, not even for a minute; not to go swimming when they had to stop for a while to fix the rudder, not to have sex with me on the deck, not to even look at the really awesome sunset we just had! What is wrong with him?

Maybe I should hit up that Spiran girl.

It's getting hotter. I can't see the mountains anymore. I wonder where we're going… we're in the middle of the ocean, and I have this horrible feeling that we're going around in circles.

Oh well. Not like I care. Wherever we wind up, I'll get through it, just like I always do. I just hope that we get to stay on the boat for a little while longer.