Part Sixteen
197S9.9.23
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Baralai is SO DEAD.
I am NOT hanging around in this, uh, "spare" Crimson Squad uniform for the rest of… however long until he decides to give my clothes back. Last night it was fine, just dandy, because my clothes had gotten wet when water sloshed on deck while we were swimming, and no one really wants to go around with salty wet clothes, yeah? But I don't like wearing the standard-issue Crimson Squad uniform that they said was 'optional'. They're too tight. There's no room to hide anything.
Err, okay... so I stole it. It was just sitting in a store room underneath the deck, and I needed something to wear! But it's still uncomfortable!
But Baralai, that little chyga, stole my clothes and hid them SOMEWHERE and I want them back RIGHT NOW.
Well, I am going to sit here and stare at him until he gives them back.
Right.
I didn't even want to be filmed in them. It's embarrassing. You can totally see how small my shoulders are and I hate that. I don't want anything that's for posterity to show me like that. Ick. But Paine just wanted to have that sphere for her own personal use last night, but I guess she had some pity on me – I must look ridiculous in these dress clothes, all stiff and starched – and let me use her recorder instead. Or maybe she just wanted a recording of her with her loverboy, yeah? Probably. I don't know. But I got to use the thing, and it was a lot of fun.
Heh. Noojster as captain. He'd be good at it… all he'd have to do is stand around and glower at anybody who looks at him. I think he'd probably enjoy it.
I mean… yeah. Dr. P decided to inform all of us that she wants to pilot an airship when this is all done with. I'd've never seen that on her. But… well, yeah, I guess it'd be more interesting than running around with a camera all the time. And then, you know, it struck me… I don't know what we'd do with it, but the four of us could totally run an airship. We've got everyone we need. Paine could fly it, if she knows how, Lai could guide us since he reads the stars, I could be the engineer because that would be awesome, and Noojster could be the captain and keep us all in line. We seemed to agree on it; well, all except Noojster, who told us he'd work us like dogs.
Not that he doesn't do that already. Heh. I'd happily work like a dog for him, as long as there weren't Maesters over him.
Anyway, it'd be a good time. And I didn't even get recorded in this goofy uniform.
Now, all I need to do is get my normal clothing back.
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Well, aren't I just the pride of the Squad now? I think everybody laughed to see me, an Al Bhed, climbing up to the crow's nest wearing the dress uniform. Well, it was better than doing it in my skivvies, even though I thought that bald Maester was going to run me through when he found me later and demanded the uniform back. I swear, Baralai's going to get it one of these days. Probably tonight. Chyga. I think that's my personal nickname for him… of course, it is kind of mean. I wonder if he takes offense.
He shouldn't. He knows I—
…I what?
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So, I guess the rumors about the Al Bhed gun aimed against Sin have spread to everyone else. Lai actually asked me straight-up about it just a few minutes ago… right after he got done brushing dried sea salt off my back.
He seemed troubled by it. I guess it might still be ingrained in him that Yevon and Al Bhed do not mix, ever. Well, clearly those in charge of his religion don't see it that way, if all this is true. I guess it's hard to get past the things that you've been told since childhood, even if you are sleeping with the enemy, so to speak.
He also told me that we should ask Paine about seeing if she'll get assigned to a squad with us. Apparently he doesn't want to leave her either. I think it's a good idea… because what if the three of us just refuse to go anywhere separate from Nooj? Yeah, he'd probably kill us all eventually, but man, at least that guy knows what's going on.
And… well, you know, he's not just a commander or a leader anymore. He's not just a superior. He's become my vneaht. That's important…
I don't know if the others feel that way too or not. I'm willing to bet they do. Why else would we want to stay together, and not only that, but to stay with him too? Maybe that's not the best way to feel within an army, but when the army is commanded by people as incompetent as the Maesters seem to be, you need to stick by those who know what they're doing. Even the Al Bhed have better organization than this.
There's Lai. He's motioning. I guess Paine wants to talk.
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Well, we didn't even have to say anything to her. She brought it right up to us. I guess she might have heard that Lai and I were planning to stick together… maybe that gave her ideas of her own.
Yeah, the three of us decided to stick with Noojster wherever he goes. Or, at least to try. I don't know how successful it'll be, but we can at least try. Then we got to talking about the newest plan of Yevon to annihilate Sin when Nooj showed up.
We all seem to be of differing opinions. It seems to make Baralai almost sad to think of his religion this way.
We spent a long time talking on the deck. I think I'm gonna miss this, if we ever are separated. Is that sappy? I don't know. But what bothered me was that Noojster seems to dread the Calm that might come from all this. It's like he dreads it because there'll no longer be a convenient way for him to die.
Well, there're always ways to die. It happens accidentally all the time. He'll just have to be creative, because I want the Calm to be here. I'd like to have peace. Maybe it'd give the Al Bhed some time to actually… I don't know… be part of Spiran society? I think having no Sin would be good because, then, the Al Bhed couldn't be blamed for it… especially if it were to be gone forever. We'd still be who we are, and Sin would be gone, and therefore the Yevonites would know that they were wrong all along.
If they could ever admit it.
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Baralai bothers me. Everything about him bothers me. But it's not in a bad way… it's in… a good way, sort of. I can't stop thinking about him. Every time I look at him, I smile. I put up with his silly pranks that, by all means, I should be perpetrating on him… but when I want to do something like that to him, I can't bring myself to do it because he'll pout at me. I'd give him anything he asked for, I think. Every time he approaches me at night, I can't refuse him, I want him, I need him there with me.
What is this nonsense? I'm acting like a fool in love.
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