Disclaimer: Not mine

Melissa: No one died. Yet. It just meant that Cathan is a ranger, now that Ashley can't fight anymore. If I decide to let her live, Ashley's going to have fraternal twins. I'll use identical twins some other time. :P

Juzblue: You'll see... when I'm done stalling. :P

Ashley Hammond/Astro Yellow: Wow, you've been busy with your Sims Rangers. How many more kids do Andros and Ashley get? Yes, you do know what Aria doesn't. And see, Jenny, you won't be replaced. :P

DizneeDol: Thanks. Here's more. :P

the-power-of-love: Thanks. :P

Chapter 17: More Than Just Dreams

She was gone, and she was never coming back. The realization was harsh, and fresh tears sprang to his eyes as Ashley's casket was slowly lowered into the earth. She was never coming back. He'd never again be able to tell her how much he loved her, or hold her in his arms. She was the other half of his soul, and she was never coming back.

"Ashley," he choked out, wanting nothing more than to be with her, wherever she was. He should have died with her, instead of abandoning her when she needed him the most. No matter what anyone else told him, he was responsible for her death, and he would never forgive himself for that.

Fate was too cruel. They were only nineteen, and he thought he'd have decades to spend with her, not merely a year and a half. Ashley was the other half of his soul, and without her, he could never live, only exist.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see his sister staring at him, tears in her blue eyes. "I'm so sorry," she murmured.

He nodded his head, his throat constricting too much for him to be able to speak. There was nothing he could have said anyway.

"I'd bring her back for you if I could," Karone whispered.

"I know you would," he managed to say. "Karone, I miss her so much."

"I know you do," she said, wrapping her arms around him. "Remember Zoe and Wyatt. They need you now."

Something sparked in his mind, and he felt a sudden surge of anger towards his sister. She was the one who had told him to... No, the other half of his mind argured. This isn't her fault. It's yours.

He pulled away from his sister, and slowly walked up to the fresh grave. Kneeling down beside in, he placed one hand on the loose dirt, clenching his fingers around it. "Ash, I miss you," he whispered. "I love you."

"Hey," he heard a soft voice say, and looked up to see his other sister.

"Aria, I'm not going to talk," he said simply.

"This wasn't your fault," she said, wiping her hazel eyes with the palm of her hand. "Andros, you have to believe that."

"She's dead because of me," Andros cried out, "and nothing can change that."

"Andros," Aria said quietly. "You're only nineteen. You can't spend the rest of your life miserable and blaming yourself for this."

"Ashley's been gone five days, and you're already telling me to move on?"

"No," she said firmly. "I'm telling you to let go of your guilt, and to remember her the way she'd want you to remember her."

She knelt down beside him, and he buried his head in her shoulder, sobbing as new tears stung his eyes.

"I'd give anything just to hold her one more time," he whispered through his tears. "Anything. It's like I'm torn in half, and without her I can't live."

"I know," she said, standing up abruptly. She hesitated as he stared up at her. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

Without another word, she turned and vanished through the crowd of mourners. He turned his attention back to his wife's grave, bowing his head and letting his tears soak the earth.

Someone shook his shoulder hard, and Andros was jolted awake. His heart pounding, he stared at Ashley, who was watching him with concern in her eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes," he mumbled, sitting up. Ashley sat up as well, and he tensed as he felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Andros, what's wrong?" she asked, rubbing small circles in his back as she waited for him to speak. He turned to look at her, a look of wild helplessness in his eyes.

"I don't know," he whispered. "But I can't take it anymore. Ash, I love you so much, and everytime I dream about having to live without you, I - I just -"

He broke off, and swallowed hard, feeling a large lump where his throat should be. Ashley reached out and touched his cheek gently. It was only then that he realized that he'd been crying in his sleep. He turned away from her, rubbing his eyes, trying to get himself under control. She's not dead, he told himself.

"Hey, it's all right," Ashley whispered gently, leaning forward to wrap her arms around him from behind. He touched her hand gently and twisted around to hold her close.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Andros," Ashley whispered back.

His arms still around her, Andros lay down again, using telekinesis to pull the blankets back up over them. Ashley rolled over, her back now against his chest. Andros kissed the back of her neck gently, his arms covering hers. One of his hands slid under her shirt to rest on her stomach.

"How's the babies?" he asked her. "Are they okay?"

"They're fine," Ashley assured him drowsily, and Andros could almost see her eyelids fluttering closed.

"Go back to sleep, Ash," Andros whispered. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"I'm not," he heard Ashley mumble sleepily. "I love you."

"I love you, Ash," he replied, his grip on her tightening involuntarily. "I love you so much."

Ashley's breathing became slow and even just a moment later, but Andros wouldn't let himself sleep. These were more than just dreams. Much more, but he didn't believe that they were visions, either. The date on Ashley's grave marker had been July thirty-first, and it was the night of August first. It couldn't happen the next year, he remembered distinctly that they had been nineteen.

Andros gave up trying to think and against his will, tumbled back into sleep, and the nightmares that came with it.