Disclaimer: I do not have any legal rights to G-Gundam :(
A/N: Thanks to all the wonderful reviews, I've had the spirit to actually write another chapter so quickly! It always helps to hear criticisms/praise when writing - points me in the direction I need to be traveling. This chapter is dedicated to Jen23, a wonderful author, mother and internet gal-pal:)
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Forlorn Rain: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it :) I am just so shy when I first start out on a series. I feel inept to knowing all the details and am always worrying about mistaking some things or not using the right words and such. But I usually stick with doing emotional, almost alternate universe type things, so I don't have to worry about all the details so much. I like writing fan fictions because I like to write what -I- wish would of happened or exaggerate on what did happen. :) I'm a big fan of writing about "everyday life" and what they would do in our shoes rather than just constantly writing about Gundam battles and the events of the series. I can't keep up with all that data! Hehehe. Hope you stop by again:)
Jen23: Yes! Domon's pride was always in the way - constantly making him blurt out hurtful things. And quite often, it had him leave Rain behind, in the dark, as if she was some sort of luggage of his. And I thought it would be sweet for him to mentally admit that he was proud of her because in the series, Rain always pointed out how she was a doctor and it was her duty, etc. So I thought I would give us fans a little treat by having him recognize that factor. That's what I like to do: try to have the characters as much IC as possible, but also have them do things and act in ways that they never did in the series, but in ways that would please us all! Like the fluff - we all probably wanted to see more of that in the series. To me, that's the point of a fan fiction, it's okay to go out of the box (OOC some) in order to have the characters act in the way that you want them to! And I always love having a strong inner conscious. I have one of my own and I think it's fun to put it into writing. All my stories have it because I'm obsessed with portraying emotions - especially through nonverbal cues rather than spoken words. It's a passion of mine and something I do a lot. Especially through my eyes and facial expressions. It's fun, teasing, and oh-so-dramatic! -pulls on fishing rod- Yup, I see that I do have you hooked! ;)
Mrs. Rain Kasshu: I must admit, I'm not the biggest fan of songfics, either! I'm really picky on it - I like it to fall together like a puzzle. I like the song lyrics to come in right where it seems like it's the character's thoughts rather than just some random poetic lines jammed into a story. It makes me so proud to know that you really enjoyed it and look forward to more. I am very obsessed with music and can literally play a song for my every thought, action, etc. There's this one commercial where a guy does that. It's a commercial for some service for downloading music and when people ask him questions and when he's thinking, he plays a song that fits that certain moment. And it's hilarious! Thus why my poem/story/fan fiction and even blog entry titles are 99.9 percent song titles!
Valese: Thanks a bunch! I'm glad you enjoyed my writing. And yes, angst is always a great precursor to fluff! I'm not a dark person most of the time, but I do enjoy writing darkly and reading dark fics, but not being consumed by the emotion. I find it as a real life necessity, in order to appreciate the fluff and happiness that is at other times. And when writing fan fictions, it's always fun to add that spot of drama just before you end it sweetly.
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Complex Simplicity
Chapter 3: You Belong to Me
By: ABeautifulDisgrace a.k.a. Jamie
As the fear washed out of her system, due to the comfort of his arms, Rain began to regain her cognitive abilities. And with such abilities came the instant onset of anger flooding into every nook and cranny of her being. Anger at Domon for treating her like scrap metal for the many months of late they had spent together and especially at herself for letting her guard down. She should have never allowed him to hold her so close for so long. What was I thinking, the bitter thoughts hammered angry fists onto her amygdala(1), demanding it to respond and keep her anger going strong. I cannot give in again, no matter how my heart aches, I must end this for the benefit of us both. If I'm gone, Domon can do whatever he wants without worrying about me dragging him down...and I...I can go back to school.
Before Domon could react, hold on, or even mutter a few objections, she had pushed her hands flat against his chest and shoved with so much force that he had no choice but to let her go and fall backward. He caught himself on the neighboring dresser and quickly snapped back up, ready to give her a piece of his mind, but the look of pure anguish and hatred in her eyes froze him in place, reminding him of why he was in this situation in the first place. What's this? he mentally questioned, allowing himself to relax and stand dumbfounded before her. I knew she would be angry, but I never thought I'd ever give her reason to look at me like that...Please don't leave me Rain...His desperate thoughts continued as he became more and more flustered from the realization that he was helpless. I need to make her see...And I need myself to learn how to override my pride. How have I survived so long with such an ugly side? How have I had Rain for so long?
See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise from the tropic isle
Just remember darling all the while
You belong to me
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Rain clenched her small hands into tight fists, knuckles flushing white. Her teeth were clenched as well, her back hunched over rigidly and her stance hinting that she may just hit Domon. He watched as she worked her jaw, cleared her throat, then simply stare at him with such disappointment on her beautiful face, he found his heart breaking all over again. Apologize, Domon, start apologizing, he coached himself, his own fists relaxing out of their hold on his cape. The room blurred out of focus for the both of them, their eyes only seeing the person before them.
"Rain, listen, you know I didn't-"
"Stop, Domon. Just stop." Rain hissed the interjection, her voice low and alien to Domon's ears. "I don't want to hear it. Not this time. I'm tired of your apologies. They always hold the same resolution. And they never last..." She drifted off on a whisper, eyes falling to stare at their feet. Her right fist was now pressed against her heart and her left hand was held up, nonverbally commanding him to stay where he stood. He knew better than to advance on her when she cued him to keep his distance.
"I know, Rain, that's what I came back for," and so he stayed, his body being forced to glue itself in place, for all he wanted was to hug her tightly and not let her go no matter how she rebelled. But as he sputtered, Domon noticed her eyebrows raise in expectation. Good, at least she might let me speak. "These many hours we've been apart, I've been thinking-"
The loud sigh that emitted from the petite woman in front of him made him stumble to a stop. He just watched her, emotions chasing each other across her flushed cheeks at a pace he couldn't keep up with. His right hand worked in and out of a fist, he trying his best not to place his palm against her cheek in order to distract her. He knew what was coming next: tears. How can I keep doing this to her? I even know the order of her reactions. A deep frown settled on his face as he stayed silent, waiting for her to speak.
See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me
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"Domon," she finally spoke, softly. So softly, Domon had to study her a moment in order to confirm that she had actually spoken.
He held his breath, then let it out slowly, his voice a soft whisper, "Yes, Rain?"
Oh how she loved to hear her name spoken from those lips, but she had to do what she felt was right. With a bit of hesitation backed up by a deep fear that she was making a mistake, Rain pointed at the door. And then she said it, "Get out." Her head was lowered so he couldn't see her eyes, knowing that if he would catch even a glimpse of them, he would know that she didn't mean it one-hundred percent. Her voice was tight, low, almost a growl. She had put all her effort into pronouncing those two words harshly, hoping that he would get the idea and simply walk out. I now know better than to allow my heart to be involved, especially with work. It's too late, Domon...Just leave it be. Leave me be. Can't you see that I'm hurting? And for what seemed like forever, Rain held her breath.
And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome, too
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He had remained patient. He had calmly watched as she tormented herself with thoughts he wished he could erase from her mind or stop her from having altogether. He even managed to resist approaching her, but what she asked of him now, he could not do. The cold tone of her voice sent shivers over his skin and he shrugged his cape over his shoulders in order to better hide his bodily reactions. He would not allow her to see how his knees quivered, all too ready to give out from under him. Why won't she let me stay? Why won't she let me apologize and tell her...tell her that I love her? Why does she have to lock me out now? I know I've hurt her - am hurting her - but please, Rain, please... He remained stunned for what seemed like an eternity and he could tell that Rain was awaiting an answer. She was fidgeting, pulling at her aqua skirt and jacket, the magenta shirt beneath it tucked in. And he knew which one she desired: none. She just wanted him to walk out, leaving her behind. And for the first time in these last months, Domon found that he couldn't. In the past, he had simply walked out on her without her invitation, even when she was crying. His pride had fueled him to run and he would act like it never happened. The small voice inside him had always reminded him of his actions, had always made sure he knew what he had done, but the overbearing boom of his pride had always been heard over everything else. Even when the other pilots and his friends would harp on him for how he treated her, he would spit out some insults and egotistical sentences and run. Now that he thought about it, when it came to any fight or difficulty other than a Gundam match, instead of fixing or defeating it, he would run.
Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me
---
"I can't, Rain," Domon admitted without hesitation, now breaking his nonverbal agreement to stay away from her. He advanced forward, slowly so not to startle her, but with purpose. She didn't move away, didn't even flinch, but he could see that what he was doing was making the situation even more difficult. But he didn't care, all he wanted was to comfort her and make her see what she meant to him. As his arms wrapped around her, her own between their chests, he heard the defeated whimper that twisted the knife that was already embedded deep within his heart. So she doesn't really want me to leave, he thought with some hope, but how can I fix this?
"Why?" Her voice was but a whisper and he felt her breath against the skin just above his collar.
This is my window, my chance... And with a soft sigh, Domon spilled out his heart: "Because, Rain...Despite how I treat you, you are my everything. I know you don't believe me, because I say nasty things toward you and make you feel like you're not worth anything, but it's the opposite...I'm scared to love, Rain, but despite this fear, I have come to love you anyway. You broke through the barrier I struggled so hard to create. I loved you in our childhood, when we used to do everything together and I tried to show it to you then by standing up to the bullies that used to tease you in school...And during the long years when I left, I buried that feeling deep inside, putting it second. That was my first mistake," he paused, finding that her eyes had lifted to his.
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Rain felt her anger quickly disappear when she thought of the many memories of their childhood together. She couldn't help letting a small smile form, it pulling upward at the corners of her mouth despite how sadness gravity pulled them down. She shook her head sadly. It was so long ago and we were two different people, Domon. The love you speak of is between childhood best friends, not a man and a woman...
He saw her smile and he took it as encouragement and continued, his right hand reaching up to cup her chin in his warm palm, his thumb tracing slow circles across her smooth skin, "And my second mistake was when we were reunited, I treated you like a stranger instead of the best friend you were. And as we worked together, I rediscovered my love for you...and realized that no longer did I love you as a friend, but as my other half...As more than just a friend..."
She stared at him, her mind mulling over everything he was saying, trying to put it all together. Her heart ached, wanting to believe him without hesitation, but she couldn't help but wonder if this was just another game. He only cares for the Gundam and for the fact that I'm the only person who knows how to properly care for it, the small voice of doubt, which now had a larger influence, whispered into her ear. No, I will not listen, I will not believe..I-..I cannot...must not believe him...I'm just going to get hurt...again...
Domon could see the doubt flash across the plane of her blue eyes and his heart constricted in his chest, a small, well-deserved bruise forming upon his pride. No, I will not listen to my pride...
"You don't believe me," he stated flatly, not even trying to hide the hurt he felt. "I just spilled the entire contents of my heart on the floor, at your feet, and you don't-"
"It's not-, well, why should I? You haven't given me any reason to trust you," she fought back feebly, her brows furrowing together in frustration. To prove her point, she jerked against the hold he had on her, wishing he would drop the hand from her face, but his arms were like straps of steel and didn't budge. "Domon, please..."
He didn't let go, but strengthened his embrace around her, pressing her even harder against his chest, feeling as her heart pitter-patted wildly in response. He would not let go of her, not now, not when she could easily slip through his fingers. I will not lose her... Not knowing what else to say in order to convince her and knowing that no matter what she felt inside, she would be stubborn and continue to push him away, Domon did the only thing untried: he kissed her.
One pair of previously never-before-kissed lips met another pair of chaste with the power of all supernatural forces combined into one simple action. It wasn't a heated kiss, but it wasn't emotionless. At first it was hesitant, shy and unsure, then Domon drove all his feelings for Rain into it, bringing both his arms loose from around her waist and his hands to her face, tilting her chin heavenward in order to look into her eyes as he pulled away.
And I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome, too
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Their lips were merely centimeters apart and Rain couldn't help but feel breathless and most of all, shocked. Had Domon Kasshu just kissed her? This is a dream, right? But as she pressed her lips together, the burning sensation of where his had previously been did not disappear. Her cheeks burned scarlet and she simply looked at him, eyes tracing his facial features. Her heart warred with her mind. How was she supposed to stay angry with him and kick him out of her life when he was going to turn her world upside down with a simple kiss? Had she really thought that she could pull this off? She was nothing without Domon. Even if he didn't realize it, he held her heart in his hands and could do whatever he wanted with it.
With the smug look now adorning his handsome face, Rain immediately knew the answer to her questions. He had found a new weakness in her and she wondered if she had the heart to protest. But just to make sure...
"Domon?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"You really meant it, didn't you?"
He knew exactly to what she was referring to and he smiled in encouragingly. "Of course, Rain," he ran fingers through her hair just to the side of her temple and she couldn't help but shiver, eyes closing halfway. "I can't live without you and I am truly sorry for all the things I've ever said to you. And I'm sorry I left you here, of all places, and alone. I'm sorry I run every time we have a problem. I'm just scared to fully love you and for you to see it. I'm scared for anyone to see it, I thought I would be seen as distracted and weak. And if any of my enemies discovered my love for you, I was afraid they'd target you..and..and..I didn't mean any of it, my pride...my pride held me back from telling you the truth sooner and I am so sorry-"
She lifted a finger and placed it to his lips, hushing him from more babbling. Despite that her earlier resolve was to leave him and to move on, she knew now that she couldn't have survived a day without him. Her place was by his side, supporting his every move. "I know that now, Domon. And I love you - have loved you from the beginning before you went away - and I can't live without you. Please let me stay by your side always..." She knew that she couldn't live without seeing his out-of-control onyx hair every day and couldn't go a day without looking into his deep, mahogany eyes. She adored every part of him, mentally, emotionally and physically and she knew also, deep down, that she would never love another as much as she loved Domon Kasshu. The pieces of the puzzle now fell together and Rain was one-hundred percent sure of her decision. She looked up at him with wide, hopeful blue eyes, "Please, Domon?"
"On one condition," his tone was completely serious and he mentally winced as her facial expression went from content to puzzled.
"Yes?"
"Tell me how you ended up outside on the rail."
Rain swallowed and dipped her head back, her eyes steady, for she had been waiting for this, "I had been standing beside the open doors the entire time you were gone. I hadn't moved from the spot you had left me in. I was deep in thought, staring out into the night, when you stormed into the room. I was startled, and had jumped...I lost my balance and fell forward and the rail gave. I heard you walk around, searching. I didn't know it was you, so I kept quiet, worried that perhaps it was someone looking for me in order to get to you...to harm you..." She fell quiet, eyes downcast, chewing on her bottom lip.
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Domon smiled against her fingertip and pressed a small kiss to it, sighing contently as he looked down upon her face. She was no longer angry, but happy. He had known deep inside that she hadn't meant it when she told him to get out, but what he hadn't known was why she had told him to. Now he did - he was hurting her by not telling her what he really felt and now that she knew, everything was all right. He was even surprised that she freely admitted that the feelings were mutual. Sometimes he had wondered if Rain had feelings for him, but his pride had banished any further thoughts.
Domon knew that he wasn't completely in the clear, but now he knew that she was his and no one else's. She had given him time in order to right his wrongs and make up for all the pain he caused her. And now that he knew how she had ended up in danger, he could rest easy knowing that she hadn't done it to herself nor had anyone found out where she was and been the cause of it. He hadn't really believed his first theory, but the idea of someone bringing harm to his Rain made his blood boil in his veins. He had never felt like this about anyone before, nor did he believe that he could feel this way about anyone other than Rain Mikamura. He smiled and said aloud, "My Rain." She returned the smile and nodded, resting her chin against his chest.
As he looked down upon her once again, his brown eyes swirling with deep emotion, Domon felt at peace for the first time in a long time. He continued to tuck strands of rebellious cinnamon locks from her forehead to behind her ears and he smiled tenderly as she closed her eyes and nuzzled his hand. He had found his place, he had found his source of support and life. He had found his true reason to fight, to succeed, and to strive for a better government. In a way, he owed Neo-Canada.
Domon bent down again, capturing her lips with his. She hesitated for a moment, then murmured something and kissed him back. He nodded and pulled her against him. Their arms linked around each other, fingers diving into the other's hair and the kiss heightened to a new level, sealing the silent treaty they had just come to agreement on. They would love each other for as long as possible and never allow their pride to get in the way of such love. They would work together as a team, supporting one another in whatever they did and they would not hide their feelings from themselves nor others. They would learn to completely trust in the other's judgments, thoughts, and emotions and they would never leave each other's side.
Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me
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Lyrics from "You Belong to Me" by Lifehouse; Shrek OST
(1) amygdala: n : an almond-shaped neural structure in the anterior part of the temporal lobe of the cerebrum; intimately connected with the hypothalamus and the hippocampus and the cingulate gyrus; as part of the limbic system it plays an important role in motivation and emotional behavior
A/N: Taa-daa! Done! THE END! ;) Hope you guys liked it! I wanted more dialogue than description in this last part, so I hope I didn't ruin it all together. Also, I had Rain get all mad and angry like she always does, then crumble under Domon's determination (like she always does). Hope it didn't jumble the chapter around too much. I wanted her to be fierce, but to have it all come tumbling down as they both realized, simultaneously, that in order to survive life, they had to have one another. Thanks for all the support, it meant the world to me. R&R pretty please with chibi Domons on top:)
