If this chapter gets mushy or sappy or sentimental, don't blame me, BLAME THE MUSIC! I'm listening to a song called 'Cry for Me my Lover' it's all instrumental and I'm practically moved to tears. I also just realized that I called Otogi Duke last chapter. I have lapses sometimes between localized and Japanese names. I also want to say that I changed my title from 'Spork Suicide' to... just read the chapter.

Current Music: Cry for Me My Lover

Marik: She is such a wimp.

Ryou: clutches teddy bear I don't know... I think it's great that she is in touch with her feelings...

Marik: Shut your face you pansy assed, British wimp!

Enter Bakura: holds up sword Your ass is mine!

Marik: sing-song Anytime, anywhere, at my house or at the fair!

Enter Malik: O.o I'm leaving. And since they aren't going to get to it, Blue Crescent Moon doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Or else the men in white jackets and syringes that took Carrie away would come for her.

Bakura: I'd come for her!

Malik: hits Bakura with newspaper Down boy! You're supposed to be gay!

Marik: Why is this chapter called Spork Suicide?

Everyone slaps Marik

Everyone: SHUT UP MARIK!

Marik: I will not!

Blue: kicks Marik in the ass Happy birthday.

Komori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: Aw, thanks. But give my beta Carrie a bit of credit too.

KC: Much love goes out to you.

Pickle-kitten: o.O; Carrie! Why the hell didn't you catch something like that!?

Carrie: flips through pages I don't read every story out there and you get most of your humor from 'Humorous Tidbits for Growing Authors', so don't blame me! hides under crazyrabidfangurl's Rock

Velvetina: I am and I will.

Crazyrabidfangurl01: Yes but it's been changed to Spork Seppuku, why? Because I said so. And it sounds cooler.

Miru Amai: The creative mill is working at full capacity, so fear not for more chapters!

Badkitty: Unfortunately there's something called a plot bunny I have and the man on man might not come as fast as you want. oo,

Making Room For New Pairings; Subtitle: Spork Seppuku

"C'mon you doofus," Jou said and once again began pulling Kaiba along by the sleeve.

He led them to the kitchen and donned an apron and a hairnet. "Kaiba get this shit on unless you want your uniform ruined."

"Whatever, you're the master of detention."

Jou had a huge grin on his face, "Dat's right Kaiba! I'm the master and you're the mutt."

Kaiba slapped his hand to his face; he fell right into that one. "I'm getting the apron on now shut up all ready!"

Jou whistled at Kaiba once he had both hairnet and apron on. "Woo! Gonna make the cover of Vogue with that! C'mon shake those money makers girl!"

Seto banged his head repeatedly on the counter, "What did I do in a past life to deserve this?"

"You were a nasty magician in ancient Egypt that planned to overthrow the pharaoh and take over the world," Jou offered.

"Oh, I must have forgot that," he sarcastically replied.

"Get to work with these pots Kaiba and I'll start scrubbing the pans."

They worked at the sinks washing until their hands were wrinkled and decided to take a break for a while. "Kaiba, I think I just found us our payback," Jou said from across the kitchen as he was bending in the fridge.

Kaiba walked over behind him and tried o see around Jou so he could know what he was so adamantly starring at. "Move your ego inflated head pup so I can see."

Jou sidestepped to let him see. There was a late with a big hunk of chocolate cake on it with a name tag that read 'SADO' on it in bold letters.

"I don't know about you but I feel like going on a chocolate binge now," Jou said practically drooling.

"I don't think that's a good idea mutt..." Just then Kaiba's stomach decided to announce it's hunger to the world with a loud growl. "Okay maybe it is. I'll get something for us to eat with."

They sat on top of the counter each with a spork in hand, munching on the detention-assigning Sensei Sado's cake. When the piece was almost gone Jou took the opportunity to lick the frosting off of his fingers.

Seto turned to ask Jou if he was done and nearly fell off the counter. 'Oh. My. Dog. Is he trying to make me molest him in the kitchen or something?'

"See something you like?" asked Jou.

"Yeah, it was this image of your face hitting the tile."

"Wha-?"

Kaiba seizes the moment and shoves Jou off the counter onto his butt.

"Oh man, that was the wrong thing to do right now you snot!" Jou seethes and yells at Kaiba. He lunges towards him with the spork in hand and is trying to stab him with it.

And just then the door happens to be thrown open. "Aibou, I don't see why you won't join a sport." Enter stage left: Yuugi, Yami, and Ryou walk into kitchen.

"I'm small and I bruise easily."

"Then be on the gymnastics team."

Yami promptly punched Ryou in the shoulder, "And you, why aren't you in a sport?" he asks. Yuugi snickers. "What's so funny Aibou?"

"He doesn't like the locker room. Actually, I wouldn't either if I had white hair down there!" Yami's eyes bug out of their sockets, "Forget I asked."

It was only after that that they noticed Jou attempting to kill Kaiba with a spork. "Jou, what are you doing?"

Jou stares at the trio. "Ack! I've been caught, in order to conceal my master's name I now commit spork seppuku!" He puts the spork against his stomach and makes it appear he thrust it into his gut.

Kaiba seems to care nothing for Jou's act and questions the intruders. "What are you doing here, Ryou? I thought you had some important business to do with Bakura."

"Uh, yeah, well about that..." Ryou stutters out while turning six shades of red.

"Great to know, Mutt are finished here?"

Reanimated and sitting up Jou responds. "Yeah, but I wouldn't suggest walking around outside with a hairnet on."

Kaiba took the hairnet and threw it at Jou. "Whatever, I need to go into work." The brunet grabbed his jacket and promptly exited the room.

Yuugi blew a raspberry at the door as it slammed shut. "Asshole."

"Language," Yami said starring at his light.

Jou rolled his eyes, "Oh please, like you haven't said it before. And you three don't have to work with him on a project."

Yami poked a finger at Jou; "I have Anzu for my partner! Anzu! Do you know how many times she calls me? Or for how long she talks for?" Jou did see that Yami's eyes were even redder then would be normal.

"Unhook the phone, and sleep more 'cause your iris seems to be encroaching on the white of your eye," Jou turned Yami's head to the side and saw that his eyes were all bloodshot.

"I have Malik for a partner," Ryou added.

Everyone glares.

"I'll shut up." Eyes avert back to Yami.

"Okay, I'll won't talk to her for a while." Yuugi hugs Yami making Yami blush uncontrollably.

"Well yer happy Yuge, I thought you had Bakura for a partner," Jou stood there scratching his head.

"Well I do but we're doing our project on 'The Three Musketeers' and I let him play with swords most of the time so it's not bad." Yuugi smiled, "Then he ran into the next room where Ryou was reading, picked him up, threw him over his shoulder and declared that he would save the fair maiden."

Yami and Jou look at the albino. "What! Yuugi gave him soda, he was excited and needed to run around."

"You talk like he's a dog."

"He acts like one," Ryou said, "Therefore I refer to him as one."

Instead of going to the Kaiba Corp. building like he told Jou would be. He went home to see his little brother.

"Mokuba, I'm home!" The echoes rebounded off the walls. "Kuba? Are you home?"

"Big brother! You're home early, nothing's wrong is it?" Mokuba's concerned face stared up at him.

"No, everything is all right. I just came home because I didn't want to go into work after detention," Kaiba told him slumping down on a couch in the family room.

"Wow! You got detention, whaddya do?" Mokuba sat down next to him on the couch.

"I got caught out of class without a pass."

"Aww, that's lame, why couldn't you do something cool to get detention?"

Kaiba shoved him farther down the couch so he could lie down. Which inevitably meant he was sitting on the arm to accommodate Kaiba's long legs. "If you had let me finish you would have heard me say that I cut class for the rest of the day afterwards."

"Awesome! Will you play chess with me later tonight?" Mokuba asked smiling.

'Oh god, it's the eyes, those freakin' puppy dog eyes.' "Of course I'll play with you. You won't win, but I'll play with you." Kaiba gave his brother a genuine smile. "But right now I want to sleep, wake me up when you want to play, k?"

"Sure Seto!" With that said the raven-haired boy went bouncing upstairs to his room.

7:30 a.m. Tuesday morning.

Kaiba awoke with an unfamiliar weight on him. Eyes blinked open and saw a mass of blackness enshrouding his vision. He sat up and saw Mokuba had curled up on top of him in fetal position with a comforter over both of them. "Hey Moki, wake up we have school today." He didn't realize how adorable they looked lying there like that.

"Do we haff to?" His brother at up wiped at his eyes to get the sleepies out.

"Yeah, now hurry up. School is in an hour and you," Kaiba sniffed at the air, "Need a shower."

Mokuba jumped up with his hands on his hips. "Oh right, you're the horny teenager and you need a shower because you sweat a lot."

Kaiba reluctantly got up and heard all the joints in his back crack. 'That's what I get for sleeping on the couch,' he thought as he stretched.

"Jou are we going to work on the project today or are we getting detention again today?" Kaiba asked as he sat down in his seat.

"I was thinking detention again."

Kaiba put down the business section he was reading and looked at him, "What were you thinking?" He said with a snort.

"I was thinking that we could run down the halls naked and sing German opera," Jou said grinning the entire time.

Kaiba let his head drop into his hands. "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had had enough oxygen at birth?"

There's another chapter down for you!

Marik: Woman! I've brought my lawyer!

Fine, if you would kindly step onto the X first though.

Marik: steps on X

Carrie if you would do the honour?

Carrie: Most certainly. flips switch

Everyone watches as Marik goes flying into the distance with his lawyer.

Yuugi: plays bagpipes for the occasion

Judges?

Malik: 9.5

Ryou: 8.9

Oh, and a six from the Russian judge!

Bakura: The hell are you smoking? I'm not Russian!

ooc: no offense to any Russian readers that's just what my friends say.