Blue: Hi y'all, I escaped from the men in white jackets! And Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and Krazy Kwanzaa!
Carrie: I will kill you…
Anzu: Be happy, it's Christmas!
Carrie: No it's not! That was months ago! You know when this was supposed to be updated, but then nooo… Blue has to go and break two of her fingers in a door. Where the hell is my crossbow!
Honda: Here Carrie, do the disclaimer.
Carrie: is suddenly on a sugar high I do not own it in Japan, I do not own it 'merican…
Blue: Thanks genius! Look what you've got her doing now! It's freakin' Dr. Suess!
Honda: Uh…
Carrie: I do not own them in a box, I do not own the cute boys c…
Otogi: gags her with stereo cord Help please!
Shizuka: We are currently experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by. –beep-
Carrie: I do not own them in a car, I do not own them near or far…
...Carrie: Ya know this is really pissing me off that is not supporting my line breaks, it makes me think I'm all organized and then this happens! Apologies from myself and Blue if you get cinfused from teh lack of line breaks at any point.
Blue: Oh yay! I actually have to do this myself for once!
Amanda-chan: Sure of course you can come on the hunting trip!
Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: Thank you for your diligent reviewing, people like you make my day.
Kenshinfan21: Erm… we've been backlogged, so we'll blame the slow updates on that.
Miru Amai: Well, when you have loads of money it's easier to do.
Celestial Psyche: Thanks! I think I will leave the title as it is. The only muse I can see me killing in the near future is Anzu and, looks around, okay maybe I'll just kill them all when I get bored.
Crazyrabidfangurl01: Right, I'll call the story 'Um, I have No Clue' that'll be great! Prods Crazy with a stick, Silence! Or it will be merely limeade!
Yukiko-Angel: Who me? Thanks, I know he is.
Mandapandabug: Thanks for all the great ideas, but I'm gonna keep the title the same.
Hirarinotenshi15 and Tapeka: I'm keepin' the writing flame burning bright to turn out these chapters to you!
Kira Chara: Ya know what? I'll let you rip off the head.
Current Music: Green Day
Making Room For New Pairings
Wednesday morning, 6:17 A.M.
…he moved his hands sensually up his sides. Their sweaty bodies moving against each other in a hard, fast rhythm. And his hard… floor.
"Well damn that sure is a nice way to wake up," Katsuya mumbled to himself as he started to remove the sheets from his bed.
"What was that?" his dad yelled from the other side of his door. "I come home and you're making all this noise."
His father opens the door and sees Katsuya standing there with soiled bed sheets and a big wet spot in the front of his boxers. Jonathan threw his head back and laughed, "What are you twelve?"
"Thank you and goodbye!" He throws the door shut and can still hear his father laughing through the wall.
Kaiba Mansion, 7:33 A.M.
"Seto wake up!"
Kaiba rolled over onto his side and put his head under the pillow. "Go away."
He waited for Mokuba's useless pleas for him to get up. Seto Kaiba hardly ever slept in, but when he did nothing was to disturb him at all. The nagging to getup never came. His bed bounced underneath him, "Mokuba get out of my bed right now or I'll tell you about everything that's been done in this bed."
"Ooo, sexy. But not the best of timing, we gotta go to school."
Kaiba rolled back over to see Jounouchi lying in bed with his school uniform on.
"Somehow I thought your room would be all blue," Katsuya remarked staring absently at the ceiling.
Seto nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw him lying there. "How the fuck did you get passed my security…" he started.
Jou was making imaginary patterns on the canopy with his finger.
He snapped his fingers in front of his face, "You all there?"
Jou looked at him, "Yeah, I was just thinking about why you chose to blanket your room in green."
"That is unimportant, what is is that you decided to jump in my bed when I haven't slept and now you expect to leave being able to walk upright."
Katsuya fell out of bed, "Down boy!" Kaiba said as he fell. A slight growl issued from the floor.
Kaiba leaned over and spoke to Katsuya, "You stay there Chihuahua and I'll get dressed." Rather than argue, Jou sat and looked at all the stuff around his boyfriend's room. 'Well, it's all green in here… There's a painting of a forest and some silver trinkets and a mirror… Short attention span can't concentrate… Must resist temptation to do something stupid…' He resumed making patterns with his fingers before Kaiba reemerged from the attached bathroom. Seto's pants had his belt near his hips instead of farther up in the loops making him look even thinner than he was. The black tank top he was modeling didn't look half bad either. Unfortunately his school jacket was put on too.
"We should get going."
"Okay! Where are the keys to the car?" Jou happily asked.
Seto rolled his eyes, "Which one? And I only said you get to drive to the optometrist's office."
"Um, damn. I forgot you have so many cars… Got a Corvette?" he asked.
"Yes, a white one. Will that do Your Royal Highness?" Seto said with sarcasm.
Jou struck a pose, "Now I wish to be carried in a litter. I want man servants to carry me, sexy man servants!" Kaiba whacked him in the back of the head with his briefcase.
"Garage. Car. Now." Jou skittered out of the room followed by Kaiba into the front hall to wait for Mokuba. Then the raven-haired teen came sliding down the banister on cue and the three of them walked around the side of the mansion to the garage. Jou 'oooo'ed at the Corvette sitting there.
"Shotgun, no shambles!" Katsuya yelled.
Mokuba looked at the car, "Big brother, this car only has two seats."
Jou and the elder Kaiba had evil looks on their faces.
Mokuba backed away slowly, "What are you two doing?"
Katsuya stood on tiptoes and whispered in Seto's ear. "My puppy just had a brilliant idea."
"And that was…?"
"Call your seat boy: Mir, Cover-up, or Ex-Wife," Jou barked out like a drill a sergeant.
"But I don't know what they- "
"CHOOSE!"
"Ex-wife!"
Jou high fived Kaiba, "Seto, pop the trunk."
"WHAT!" Mokuba yelled.
Jounouchi picked up Mokuba and set him down in the trunk, handed him his school bag, and slammed the trunk down. "What da 'ell is Mir and cover up!" came a muffled shout from the trunk.
Jou sat down in the passenger seat and Kaiba took the driver's. Katsuya banged on the top of the trunk for silence. "Cover-up is the 'seat' where you're stuffed in where a convertible top comes out of, and Mir is getting duct taped to the roof. These seats only available in two seaters."
"I'm 'appy in da trunk!"
In Domino High parking lot
"So we're gonna act how we normally would in class, right?"
"That would be right," came Seto's answer.
"And what am I supposed to say if someone asks why I left school with you?" Katsuya asked.
They got out and started walking into the school. "Hmm, say I'm taking you to court for vandalism or larceny."
"Larceny! What of yours would I steal!" Jou thought it was insulting to even think he was a thief.
Seto stepped in front of him and pulled him close, "You managed to steal my heart piece by piece." He planted a kiss on Katsuya's cheek.
The blonde flushed, "You're embarrassing me."
"You'll get over it."
The two walked to class and went in to find that none of their peers were here yet. They dumped their things on their desks and sat down. "Well we're twenty minutes early. Can you thing of anything to occupy our time?" Seto asked with a faux innocent smile.
"You dirty little…" Jou turned around and hit him in the arm.
"I was thinking of checkers or something," Kaiba cut him off and widening his smile.
Katsuya stuck his tongue out and sat on Kaiba's desk. "You need to stop saying things that have sexual undertones."
"And you need to get your mind out of the gutter," he countered and pinched Jou's butt.
Katsuya made a squeaking noise and jumped a bit. "I know it was you that did that!"
"What are you talking about puppy?"
"When you were cooking and I was looking for the bowls and I slammed my head when someone decided to grab my butt!"
"You're so melodramatic sometimes," Seto said leaning back and relaxing.
Katsuya sat in his seat and started staring at Kaiba. He met his gaze and held it neither willing to break the growing silence around them. Bakura and Ryou came into the classroom laughing. Their laughter stopped as they saw them locked in a staring contest. "Hey guys, w-what's going on?" Ryou asked nervously. The two of them together were like a ticking time bomb.
Jou and Kaiba continued without speaking. More students started to come in and the competition was drawing a small crowd. It only ended after… "Hey Yuugi! I'm going to play tennis after school! My outfit is sooo cute!" Anzu announced. The two duelists clapped their hands over their eyes at the mental images, the duel, was a draw.
"You're lucky Anzu messed us up Kaiba, or else I woulda won."
"What was that mutt?" Kaiba gave Jou a strange look and received a wink back.
'Ah, he's teasing,' Katsuya realized. "I was just telling you how I would've flogged you if there hadn't been a distraction," he said with a note of arrogance.
Trade mark Kaiba smirk in place, "Fine, why don't we step outside and finish this in the parking lot?" 'Ha! Wasn't expecting that!' Kaiba thought to himself.
"Uh, um, about that…" 'What the hell is he thinking?'
"Look the dog's running away with his tail between his legs!" The Kaiba Fan Club was nodding along with everything he said.
Jou walked up to him so they were face to face, or face to chest… "You think you're so great then why don't you take a break!" Jou faked a right and hit him in the side with a left hook. Seto grabbed a blonde lock to pull Jou closer and got his arm around his neck. Katsuya stepped on Kaiba instep rather brutally and knocked him to the ground with an elbow to the side. Jou sat on Seto's thighs and clawed at him scratching him around the neck and chin. Seto head-butted him in the face so he had to clutch at his nose in agony. The teacher entered the room and saw the circle around the fighting boys. He pushed his way to the center and pried them apart. "Look at you! The first bell hasn't even rung and you're already in trouble and I need to send both of you to the principal's office!"
They sat on the floor for a moment as the other teens mingling around dispersed. The sensei walked back over with two pieces of paper handed one to each and watched as they read them. The teacher smacked them in the head; "Don't read it here! You'll have plenty of time to do that when you wait for the principal now get out of here!" He threw Katsuya and Seto out of the room and told them not to come to his class today.
It was too hot in the main office, or so was Katsuya's opinion. Maybe it was because he had just been fighting. Kaiba had a long scratch across his throat and Jou had ripped his jacket in several places around the collar. And he himself was having blood come out his nose from some good blows to his face. The secretary didn't even acknowledge their presence as they were over due for their weekly ritual of being sent to the office together. "What was it this time?" Junika the secretary asked absently.
"Fighting," Jou replied. "I could take him though, just look at these muscles," he pulled up his shirt to show off a six pack for her.
"Ooo, strong man."
Katsuya got hit in the head with… a shoe? What the fuck?
"Knock it off of you'll have indecent exposure on your record on top of brawling."
"You're just jealous I have a six pack and you're left high and dry with nothing but a flat stomach," Jounouchi said shrugging his shoulders.
Kaiba leaned over and grabbed him by the collar, "I could knock that grin off your face so fast that you wouldn't even know what…"
Junika had rushed from behind her desk with her rolled up newspaper and smacked them both in the head. "Don't make me put you two in opposite corners!"
They turned away from each other, both had theirs arms crossed.
"I hate you," Kaiba said.
"I hate you more."
"I hate you most."
"I know you care!" Jou turned around and flung his arms around Kaiba's neck.
Seto rolled his eyes and patted Katsuya's forearm that was in the process of half strangling him and lifted the blonde onto his knee.
The secretary watched them and Satan himself could have come up from the ground to offer her an executive position in Hell and she wouldn't have been as shocked as she was at that moment. "Have you guys been putting up a front to fool people since junior high?" Junika had worked in the Domino school district for seven years and had heard about them since they were in junior high. The fights these two had started have been legendary in physical brutality and numbers, not to mention the verbal debates the blonde and brunet had also engaged in were beyond count.
Seto turned to look at the woman and ran a hand through his hair. "No, we haven't been fooling everyone in the district the entire span of our academic careers. But recently I've become slightly fonder of him than is considered healthy." He paused briefly to let his head fall on top of Jounouchi's, "I found something in my life that's constant; because I can always come to school and know exactly what to expect from him. He's someone to always challenge me and make me seem like I'm more like a normal teen."
Junika was positively ecstatic over this new revelation, "Would you two kiss? I want to see if it's as hot as I always thought seeing you two kiss would be."
Kaiba shrugged, Jou shrugged, "What the hell."
Junika stood there and blushed as she saw them languidly kissing in one of the waiting chairs. And it was then that Mr. Nakagawa, the principal, decided to walk in to summon his next victim(s) into his office. What he saw was 1) his secretary watching two teenage boys kissing in the office and nearly having an orgasm doing so, 2) two teenage boys kissing in the office, 3) KAIBA and JOUNOUCHI kissing in the office.
"What is the name of all things holy is going on here!" he yelled.
Junika looked to the boys for help and found none and turned to look back at her superior, "Uh, great news sir! Those two have learned to… get… along," her voice getting weaker under his intense gaze.
He cocked an eyebrow at Kaiba and Jou, the two gazing at each other with intense lust in their eyes. "Maybe if I call both of your parents it will stop this disgusting display of public affection."
"NO!" they yelled in unison, Jou fell off Kaiba's leg and sat in the chair next to him.
"Oh, and why not? It's what I do to all students sent here for expressing their love for each other in the school."
Kaiba's cheeks flamed red while Katsuya looked like a deer in the headlights. Jou relaxed slowly, "What's it gunna take to keep this incident on the low note and have you not call my dad?"
"I could have you landscape the whole grounds, or perhaps you should mop the top two floors, maybe reorganize the entire library," he saw the boys wince at each threat he made. "Or maybe you can promise me not to do it again and I'll let it slide, both of you are first time offenders on this count." Jou looked eternally grateful while Kaiba felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. "Now get out of here, I noticed Mr. Kaiba's name on the advance notice sign out sheet, so go now."
They both scuttled to their feet, bowed, and ran out of the office.
Junika looked at Mr. Nakagawa. "What?" he asked her.
"You know perfectly well, pay up!"
He sighed, got out his wallet, and counted out a hundred dollars. "Fine you win, I always thought they were such opposites," he muttered walking back to his office.
"Remember, opposites attract!" she yelled after him.
In the car, driving
"That was too close for comfort," Katsuya says.
"You were too close for comfort back there. I swear you're like an automatic override to anything else going on in my brain. I could be sitting in my boardroom, having a meeting, and you could stroll in, sit on my lap and I'd have to tell my associates to remove themselves so I could bend you over the desk and have my way with you."
Jou, who was driving, suddenly slowed, pulled off to the side of the road and put into park.
"What are you do- ?" Kaiba was cut off, Jou's warm tongue invading his mouth. He was leaning over the clutch and pushing Kaiba into the side door. "I'm better now thank you." The car was put back into drive and they were back on the road.
"What brought that on?"
"You talking about things you would do to me while at your office," a huge smile was plastered across his face.
Kaiba sat silent for a moment. "I can arrange something if it pleases you that much."
Katsuya briefly took his eyes off the road to look at his boyfriend; "Well the man has a bold side! Just imagine me screaming your name and having a co-worker walk in at that moment, hearing that and seeing their reaction."
"Which co-worker?" he asked smirking.
"Any."
"I would want it to be my secretary, I need an excuse to fire her," he told Jou.
"Why would you want to fire her? Does she not do her job?"
'Oh sure, she does her job. It's what she did that wasn't in the job description that made him want to fire her.' "She's a bit ditzy and doesn't realize it, she treats a delivery boy the same as she does another CEO of a company that's discussing trade rights with me." Seto pretended to look uninterested and let his face fall into his hand, "Yes, Mr. Kaiba will see you in a moment, he's with a more important client right now though so you'll have to wait out here." He looked at Jou again, "And she winks at me all the time when she thinks no one is looking."
Jounouchi twitched, "So we're going to have a witch burning this weekend, ne?"
"Whatever you want puppy, but you'll have to tie her to the stake. I'm just tossing on the gasoline."
Katsuya snickers, "You're sadistic."
"And you are stupid," says Kaiba.
Jou points to the windshield, "Look! You're face hitting the windshield!" Jou slammed on the brake going from 45 to 0 in half a second. Kaiba flew out of the seat and hit windshield like Jou had said.
The brunet got back into his seat and glared, "Bastard."
"That'll teach you to wear your seatbelt while in a moving vehicle."
Twitch, twitch.
"We're here!" Jou announced happily as he pulled into a parking lot.
The optometrist's office was on the far side of Domino's business district in a small strip mall. The bold letters above the front door announced to the world that the office was called 'Eyes on You'. Jou led Kaiba in by the arm and sat him down in a waiting chair and started to walk around and look at glasses frames on display.
A young woman of about twenty eight with short black hair walked into the waiting area. She smiled warmly at them, "Hello Katsuya, what are you doing here, you just saw me less than six months ago."
Jou laughed, "No, no, I'm fine Dr. Komiyama. I'm here with my friend here; he's your one o'clock appointment." He pointed to Kaiba who was scowling in the chair.
She walked over to a small desk next to the door she came out of and picked up a clipboard. "Yes, indeed you are Mr. Kaiba. Here for contacts are you, well this should be a fun afternoon. But you're awfully early though, I hope you guys can amuse yourselves in the mean time."
Kaiba looked at the clock; it read 9:30 in shiny digital numbers. 'Shit this is going to be a lo-ong day.'
Carrie: smacks Blue That only took forever!
Otogi: smacks Blue Yeah!
Honda: I feel left out… smacks Blue I feel better now!
Shizuka: At least you two are in this story.
Blue: Blah blah blah blah! I'm the one getting hit!
ding dong
Carrie: opens door My muses! You came to visit! Normally you just stay in my head.
Jou: We got bored. hugs Seto
Kaiba: He's clinging again. twitch twitch
Jou: nuzzles
SLAM! FWUUM! BAM! CRASH! BANG BANG BANG!
Carrie: commentating on the side Oh that was beautiful! Bashed his head into a desk, followed by throwing him through the screen door to hit the van, hit him over the head with the printer finished by three shots of a .27! Wow, I couldn't have exhibited a better example of video game violence if I tried!
Blue: -.-;; We love you, good night.
