Hello there, all readers!
Thanx for your wonderful response on the story and for faithfully reviewing!
It's very inspiring to get such wonderful feedback and I hope you'll bear with me through the last number of chapters on this little story.
Please continue to let me know what you think and remember that flames will be used to light a candle for our couples' complications.;-)
This chapter has a little stronger containts than usual, so take note if you have a weak stomach. Love to you all,
Redfern
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: DAMAGE
Just love me, love me, love me
You nail me to the ground and
turn my guts inside out
Get it out, get it out, get it out
Get your fucking voice out of my head
Never wanted this, never wanted any of this
I wish you were dead, I wish you were dead
-The cure-
A month ago, Neville would have known this situation for a perfect, impossible dream, trapped with Draco in a secluded room. But now, everything was just awful. Draco looked as if he readily could commit murder and Neville didn't feel any less infuriated.
He rose from the floor and eyed Draco defiantly, noting with an uncomfortable shiver that Draco held a striking resemblance to his father when angered.
"Stand absloutely still, Neville!"
Draco was hissing his s's like a snake when he spoke, advancing in a predatory way that caused Neville to walk backwards until his back touched the wall.
"I told you to be still!" Draco snarled, catching Neville's wrists as fast as if he was chasing the snitch and pressed his hands to the wall.
Neville gasped with fear, fighting to keep the tears from spilling again. His anger started to transform into dread against his will.
"Draco, stop it!" he whimpered, not willing to continue the fight a moment longer.
Draco seemed ignorant to his pleas, nailing him to the wall while driving his knee in between Neville's legs to separate them.
"Oh, you'd like to talk now? A moment ago you preferred kissing!"
With this, Draco stabbed his teeth into Neville's lower lip, letting blood drip before releasing it. Neville cried out in pain, unable to hold the tears back any longer.
"DRACO, STOP!!! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"
Startled into regaining his senses, Draco backed off in shock at Neville's outburst, seeing the terror beaming from him.
Neville was crying openly, hiding his face in his hands as he sank down against the wall.
Draco tried desperatly to fight his confusion, thorn between the need to give Neville a serious penalty fuck and to grasp what was happening.
"What's the matter with you?" Draco snapped. He didn't mean to sound so contemptous, but Neville's sudden rejection stung him very unexpectantly.
All the answers he got were loud sobs, making him feel like a revolting monster. Now it was Draco's turn to panick.
"Stop it, Neville!"
He kneeled beside the Gryffindor, feeling just as miserable as Neville were displaying and grabbed his shoulders to pull him close.
"Please, don't hurt me!" Neville cried, trying to squirm out of Draco's grip.
But Draco pulled Neville into his arms instead.
"Hurt you?" Draco asked indignantly. "You were the one who gave yourself to Potter!"
"You kissed Pansy!"
"I kiss my mother on the cheek too!" Draco argued. "And for your information, nothing else has happened!"
This seemed to calm Neville a little, but the tears kept coming.
"I don't think I can do this, Draco."
Draco thought his heart missed a beat.
"What? What do you mean?"
Neville lifted his head from Draco's shoulder, but kept his eyes on the floor.
I can't really know if you love me, because you never say it and if you don't, well then get out of here and let me deal with this alone!"
"You're more dramatic than moaning Myrtle!"
But as he said it, a terrible thought popped up in Draco's mind.
(Be sure, I have taken precautions not to let things get out of hand.)
"Neville?" Draco whispered in a very small voice. "We have to talk. Let's get up."
Neville hesitantly pulled himself up as Draco had an arm still around him.
"Here. Let's sit on the sleeping bags." Draco suggested, careful not to pull Neville too hard with him.
(And from now on, Draco is straight, whether he wishes it or not.)
Draco unfolded some of the sleeping bags and took his seat there with Neville. He took a moment to remove his shoes and helped Neville off with his too. Neville glared suspiciously at him, but Draco just shook his head and sighed.
"I said we'll talk, Neville!"
Then he simply leant his back on a bag against the wall, while pulling Neville with him. He made sure that the Gryffindor rested comfortably against him, before putting an arm possessively around his shoulders. It took more self-restraint than he thought he had to keep his voice calm.
"You have to tell me what happened in the astronomy tower, Neville."
But his fingers had turned cold before he heard any answer.
"I can't." Neville whispered, sounding miserable.
"Yes, you can. And you will."
"Please, I just can't! You'll despise me and I can't live with that!"
Draco's hatred against his father started to boil inside and he clenched Neville harder.
"Pomfrey must know and maybe even Snape and McGonagall, but I don't!" he hissed. "It's not fair, Neville!"
But Neville pouted stubbornly, refusing to look up at him.
"I'll never tell you." He simply said. "Why don't you tell me what happened to you?"
Draco sighed impatiently, not very content with drawing sharper weapons against Neville.
"Well, Lucius obviously don't want me to know about you, so then he has won!" Draco said, not finding it too hard to make his voice sound hurt.
Neville looked up at him accusingly now.
"How dare you?" he whispered. "And if I tell you, you'll leave me and go after him and die while trying!"
"There is no other way around this." Draco said mercilessly, sounding a lot like Snape. "And if you think I'll leave you now, as if I haven't already tried for my life to forget all about you, you're absolutely insane!"
Neville sighed unhappily and pressed a little closer to Draco.
"I really wish I could let you know, but I can't."
Draco nodded and rose from the floor, leaving Neville with a suspicious expression on his face. Draco turned to face him.
"Will you show me, then?"
"What?" Neville looked horrified.
Draco withdrew his wand and looked at Neville in a calculating way.
"If you just relax, I will go into your head and see for myself."
"No!" Neville looked very insulted. "I said, no! Why don't you just drop the subject now?"
Draco shrugged.
"As you wish." He said, making a movement as if putting the wand back. "LEGITIMENS!"
The room swirled before him and disappeared. The scenes came soaring past him, taking shape to unveil themselves before falling away to reveal another.
There was Neville, standing in a hospital room in front of a man and a woman, tears falling while trying in vain to get their attention. He couldn't be more than five.
Then came Hogwarts and Neville ran off to cry, after he, Draco told Neville during a quiddich game that he was the dumbest student at school.
An old lady stood with him in a kitchen, serving him pancakes, while telling him something pleasant, to judge from their faces. The letter for acceptance at Hogwarts lay beside them. Neville beamed.
Suddenly he was standing by a tombstone, snow whirling around him as Neville drew his thin robes closer around him, shivering.
They were in the forest, him and Neville, clinging tightly to each other under the robes while kissing, sharing a perfect moment of unity.
Show it to me, yield to it!
The scenes seemed framed in darkness all of a sudden. Neville stood watching his classmates from a distance, ignored.
He climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower, pressing a note in his hand very tightly.
Something shattered. Lucius was there, his face looking a hundred times more monstrous than Draco had ever imagined him.
Then Neville was at the wall, a knife flashing in his father's hand.
The scene became blurred all of a sudden, as he felt Neville trying to push him out of his head.
Noway, not now! I'm going to see this, I'm not leaving you alone with it! legitimens, legitimens…
Draco wasn't even aware of whether he spoke the words out loud or only thought them, but it showed result. The scene came into focus again and it was truly painful, as if Neville's misery sank in to him with the breakthrough.
As Draco came to his senses again, he was kneeling on the floor, his head spinning with so much rage he thought he would go out of his mind.
Neville's sobs pulled him out of it as the room seemed less dim. Neville was curled up on the sleeping bags, crying violently while holding his hands as a protective shield over his head.
Draco dropped his wand carelessly on the floor and rushed to him, seizing him by his robes to crush him close in his embrace.
Neville gave a frightened cry and when he realised it was Draco, he hit his attacker in the face, beside himself with rage.
"YOU HAD NO RIGHT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Despite the blows raining, Draco stubbornly held on to Neville, taking the blows as they came. He did deserve them after all, Neville had a point there.
"Calm down, Neville! I had to, don't you see? OW!"
Neville struck him on the nose and broke free, rushing to the door. Draco intercepted him at the speed of lightning, blocking the exit as if protecting it with his life.
"Out of my way!" Neville snarled, his face a living mask of despair.
"Never!"
"I'm warning you!" Neville rose his fists again.
"You wanted to talk and then you refused to! How dared you try to keep this from me? How dared you even think I would resent you for it?!"
"I said no and you ignored it!"
"I told you to tell me and you ignored it! For how long were you planning to keep it to yourself? Forever? You know as well as I do, this would have been the end of everything we've been fighting for! And if you're ending it now, nothing could have stopped that anyway, hadn't I intervened!"
Neville stood still, glaring at him.
"And just so you know," Draco continued, more upset than Neville, "I'll make Lucius pay for his BIG TIME, you just won't believe what I'll do to him, but I'm not rushing off without any backup! And I'm not leaving you alone with it, no matter what! You won't leave this room until he has left you, permanently." Draco drew after breath. "Him and Potter." He corrected himself.
"How can you still care? You'll be digusted touching me now!" Neville looked so sad, Draco caught him in an embrace again and kissed him before he could stop himself. Neville stumbled and broke the kiss.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Neville demanded, more confused than angry.
Draco glared sternly at him for a moment.
You can't leave me, I love you more than my own life, but don't make me fucking say it!
Instead of answering, Draco kissed his eyelids, his cheeks and his lips as if trying to communicate something that was tied to his tounge.
Neville let him do it and finally his head fell against Draco's shoulder, his arms sliding shyly around Draco's waist.
"You owe me one now." Neville whispered. "You have to tell me as well."
"In time." Draco whispered. "Not now. We'll handle one thing at a time."
The truth was he never intended to breathe a word about the basement. Not only could he not bring himself to do it, but he wasn't sure he remembered all that well. As if touching fire, he flinched from it and started to pull Neville with him to the sleeping bags again.
(Father, please! You'll kill me! Let's be reasonable and talk about it!)
He kissed Neville feverishly, feeling the warm body underneath him yield to it. Sparks came to life as Neville's hands stroke his back, pressing down as if trying to bring them closer together. Then he looked at Draco anxiously.
"You know, the last thing I want is a pity-fuck." he said.
Draco almost gasped at hearing Neville use that word. Then he raised his eyebrow in a Snapeish way.
"Maybe you don't, but I could certainly use one right now, so if you don't mind…"
Then he buried his teeth deep down Neville's tender throat, hearing the loud, rapturous gasp in reward as he sucked at the spot, determined to make a statement about his ownership once and for all. Soon they were making out in a mess of thrown robes and clothes, both growing more hard and eager by the minute. Draco didn't pull all his clothes off though. Neville wrapped his legs around Draco's hips, as if begging to be taken, pressing his groin up against Draco's sex.
Draco couldn't stop himself from dripping just a little poison.
"So, now Potter won't do, will he?"
"I don't care about Harry!" Neville gasped. "Please, I need it!"
"Really?" Draco pushed two fingers inside Neville, rocking them back and forth as Neville squirmed from the pleasure, moaning and gasping. "I still think you might need to be taught a lesson."
He almost jumped at his own words and changing his plans immediatly, he removed his fingers from Neville and gave him a deep kiss instead.
(I still think you might need to be taught a lesson.)
No, he didn't just say that, or if he did, it wasn't the same.
Forget it!
Draco planned to prepare Neville for entering, kissing the salty wet cheeks. But he couldn't push into him. He just couldn't.
Not because of what Lucius had done with the knife, because if anything was needed, it was the act of sealing the bond once again between him and Neville, proving his father's actions powerless against them.
Some strange sickness threatened to rise in Draco and he pushed it down with an effort and sealed his mouth with Neville's to find comfort, while stroking his lover's sex again. Neville went all soft against his touch, straining and groaning to attain satisfaction, as Draco kept playing with him. Finally, Neville couldn't hold back anymore and Draco teased him all through the exstacy, watching all the desperate moves Neville made to reach fully into the palm of Draco's hand.
As soon as it was over, Draco simply lay down beside Neville, pressing him close while trying to deal with the sudden anguish emerging from nowhere. He had no will for satisfaction himself, as his stomach started to ache and the sickness he withheld pushed through.
Neville clung to him and kissed him repeatedly, moving his hands down to Draco's sex. Draco caught them and held them put, while turning Neville around to embrace him from behind instead. But Neville squirmed back again to face him.
"Draco? Is something wrong?" Neville's lower lip was trembling a little from the anxiousness, his uncertainity showing through the concern.
"No." Draco lied.
This seemed to unnerve Neville even more. His eyes went glazed with tears, trying to catch Draco's averted eyes.
"Draco, please. What is it? Is it…me? Do you think I'm…"
Neville couldn't bring himself to say it, but there was no need to. Draco looked very upset suddenly and glared sternly at him.
"You know it's not you! It's never you, don't be silly!"
I love you, don't you understand? Don't make me say it!
Neville caressed his cheek very tenderly, pulling a sleeping bag over them. Draco wasn't sure if he needed to throw up or not, feeling worse by the minute.
(You understand why I have to do this, don't you?)
"Draco?"
(It's because you're my son, and I care more about you than anyone else does, even your mother.)
"Draco!"
Neville pulled his arm a little to get response, looking very worried.
"I'm fine, Neville. I just really need to sleep." Draco said in his usual calm voice. But the next moment, he leant over the floor and threw up.
Neville was beside himself, holding Draco steady until it was over. Then he pushed him down on a pillow, waving his wand at the floor to clean up the remains from Draco's stomach. The cleaning spell was probably Neville's most practised spell, due to his clumbsiness during potions.
Draco, on the other hand, stumbled to his feet and dressed very quickly, and was halfway through the room when Neville took notice of his strange behaviour. He rose from the floor himself, his eyes flashing with anger.
"Hey! What's happening? You lied to me!"
Draco sighed and stopped. Then he turned to face Neville.
"I'm just not completely healed yet. It's all right." Draco tried not to hold any emotion in his voice, other than what he normally would use as an affectionate display towards Neville.
"What, are you kidding? Where are you going?"
"Out." Draco swallowed and took a few steps backwards, towards the door. "I just need…air."
At this, all colour seemed to fade from Neville's cheeks.
"But…you…"
"I TOLD YOU, IT'S NOT YOU!!!"
Neville jumped from Draco's outburst, but his hurt feelings towards Draco's rejection had his own rage leaping forward.
"WELL, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT?" IF YOU'RE DISGUSTED, THEN JUST SAY SO AND I'LL…I'll…"
He stopped, staring at Draco, who had closed his eyes and leant his back against the door, holding his fingers pressed to his forehead. For a mad moment, Neville thought he saw tears emerge in Draco's eyes and the tension in the room was growing unbearable.
He just had to know what was happening. It was a nightmare!
"Draco, what is it?"
The silence was so thick in the room, that Neville almost heard the Slytherin's heart beat with his.
"By all means, let's discuss Longbottom."
His father was standing with the belt in his hand and Draco shut his eyes to brace himself for the coming whipping. But instead of feeling the leather cause cracks on his skin, Lucius untied his hands from the hook, only to turn him around, facing the wall, and hung him up again. Then his pants were pulled down and Lucius grabbed him harshly around the waist with one hand, whispering into his ear while letting the belt brush against Draco's back.
"A dreadful mistake, letting the enemy stain your pure, noble blood, all on account of a mindless urge for a fuck." Lucius' voice was dangerously silky."I really hope you were on top, Draco, or I'd be very disappointed."
Draco winced, shocked and unsettled about hearing his father talk about such private matters with him.
Then Lucius hand dropped the belt and came up to cover his mouth with perfect timing. Draco's frightened cry was quenched as he felt something hard pressed against his buttocks.
It couldn't be, it was his father after all, he was mistaken, his nerves were just not under control right now and he was in such pain, he could easily imagine things.
But no rationalisation in the world could justify what happened next.
Lucius hand around his waist moved down to cup Draco's naked sex. Draco gave a start and started to trash against the ropes in panick. He didn't care about his broken arm or the pain it caused whenever he moved. He tried to kick back at his father as hard as he could, but Lucius were holding him in an iron grip, only tightening his hold as Draco struggled.
It was impossible, this wasn't happening to him, his father tried to scare him and went just a little too far, that had to be it.
"Such intricate behaviour does not become you." Lucius scorned. "And neither does your innocence. You are going to thank me for this, when you realise what other horrible mistakes I am now preventing you from making."
Draco was really scared now, praying in his inner mind that this had to be it, that his father would stop now, seeing him this scared.
But things went steadily worse.
"You understand why I have to do this, don't you? It's because you're my son and I care about you more than anybody else does. Even your mother."
Draco felt Lucius lick his ear suddenly and he tried to squirm from it, not far from his tears, but he was pressed too tightly against Lucius to be able to move that much.
"Be still!" Lucius hissed. "You've shamed your family enough and I'll make sure to have you clean again."
Then the impossible thing happened. His sex was released and instead Lucius pressed him against the wall and forced his own hard sex into Draco, doing absolutely nothing to ease the dreadful pain.
Draco fought a losing battle trying to prevent it and as soon as the last humiliating thrust sent the full length into him, Lucius removed his hand from Draco's mouth for a second. Draco howled with pain, his tears flowing freely, but the hand came into place to quench the cries again.
"Hush now, Draco." Lucius sounded very reproaching. "I have taught you better than this, haven't I, hmm?" Lucius bit hard into Draco's ear, nibbling at it playfully with teeth sharp enough to draw blood.
Draco held as still as he could, feeling something vital collapse within him.
This couldn't be his father. Not the same person who taught him Quidditch as a child or loved to spoil him to make him stand out as special in front of his classmates.
"That's it, my dear son. Be very still." Lucius silky voice said into his ear. "This is how you had Longbottom, wasn't it? Because I can tell nobody has had you like this before."
Draco was trembling and the coldsweat broke out. He felt as if his stomach had been turned inside out, but most of all, he just wished that he could die, or at least faint, from the degrading torture. But there was too much adrealine in his veins from the shock.
Then Lucius started to thrust into him, softly at first, clawing his nails up Draco's thigh, much in the fashion Draco liked doing to Neville. Draco whined miserably with each painstaking nudge, sobbing and crying violenty. He couldn't remember that he had ever cried this much in his life.
"Oh, so you can give in to a Longbottom, but not to your own father, the head of your family?" Lucius mocked him, moving his hand to Draco's sex.
Draco gave a start as Lucius started to stroke his organ with horrible skill, but naturally, Draco was way beyond repelled to give his father the slightest reaction. He only prayed the near-collapse wouldn't cause his body to betray him and do things he couldn't live with.
"You are still not very obedient." Lucius whispered maliciously. "I think I'm going to have to mark you, to make you understand who's in charge."
It was far too sinister, the similarities between privacy with Neville and what he experienced now. The last thing Draco wanted in his head at this moment was Neville, but his father found ways to constantly remind him.
Lucius bit and tore into the flesh of Draco's neck, while thrusting harder inside of him to confirm it as punishment.
Draco finally felt himself on the edge of unconsciousness again and fought to take a step into it. He tried to hold his breath and receive the pain enough to attain it.
The darkness ascended over him, making the pain distant and elusive as fog.
Unfortunately, it never swept him away.
"Réveila."
Lucius whisper brought him back, setting a powerful spell into motion. Draco's mind refused to be anything but crystal clear, still experiencing the inflictions and exhaustion as brutal as they were.
He could only imagine the sly smile on his father's lips as he whispered with vicious thriumph in his ear.
"I have you now."
Draco didn't have to look down to know what Lucius meant. His father had used the precious moment when Draco was out cold to have his body into the desired reaction.
Something broke within Draco at this. He couldn't take anymore. The cruelty his own father dealt him was too engulfing, too calculated.
Fresh tears broke out, with several miserable sobs. He wished he could speak, that Lucius would remove the hand from his mouth just enough for him to plead, beg for anything but this, but the small voice of reason inside told him it was the worst thing he could possibly do.
To his absolute horror, Lucius started to go softer on him instead, licking and kissing his tears while barely moving inside of him at all, continuing to work his sex very seductively. All in an intimate, sickening way. But Draco just felt like throwing up. In fact, he was very near to it, wondering if he would choke if he failed to keep it down, since the hand still covered his mouth.
"You want to please your father, don't you?" Lucius whispered, with revolting tenderness. "And you will not be released until I get what I want from you."
Draco shut his eyes tighter. He didn't just hear that.
And now he just had to vomit.
As the convulsions started, Lucius jerked him threatheningly.
"Swallow it!." he hissed. "There is no avoiding what is going to happen!"
No, Draco thought. But I can throw up on you.
And a moment later, Lucius hand was drenched with the contents of Draco's stomach. Furiously, he removed it and cleaned it on Draco's robes, while Draco emptied everything without restraint on the floor below him.
"How dare you!" Lucius snarled, pressing him hard into the wall while slapping him in the back of his head. Then he shifted deceptively fast into comforting strokes and more intimate kisses.
"Father, please…" Draco sobbed, his emotional control completely in pieces.
"You know what I want from you, Draco." Lucius whispered, pausing slightly to suck at Draco's earlobe."If you cannot satisfy me in the matter, I will need to take my displeasure out on Longbottom."
So this was the moment of truth. He could feel his father's attentive gaze upon him, looking for any sign of revealing reaction.
The trap had slammed shut.
Draco fell silent, at a loss of what to do other than accepting defeat.
He had to let it happen. He had to allow his own father to send him over the edge and all the while, he had to keep Neville out of his thoughts, not to make him a part of this terrible moment.
Draco gathered all strength he had left to concentrate on making it happening, blocking out and surpressing all emotions he had. But his mind couldn't let go of Neville, no matter how much he tried.
It was the only thought he had to keep him sane and he just couldn't let go of it.
As his seed finally clung to his father's hand and Draco thought the burning shame itself would cause his death, Lucius pressed him hard into the wall and sent violent thrusts into him, until the growls of satisfaction followed. Draco could feel his father's heavy breathing on his neck, but he was beyond caring anymore and beyond resistance. He leaned his forehead to the wall and cried, wishing the earth would swallow him whole.
"That's my boy." Lucius smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
"Draco, you're crying!"
"No, I'm not." Draco muttered, yet drying the tears furiously from his eyes.
Neville sighed and looked at Draco as if he saw right through him, having too much pity in his eyes for Draco to find it comfortable.
Draco sighed in frustration. Why did the Gryffindors have to make everything so difficult?
"I don't want to talk about it!
"I just can't believe you have the nerve to say that, after what you did! And all those 'you need to put it behind you'- lines. Were you sweet-talking me or what?"
When Draco remained silent, Neville raised an eyebrow.
"Look, Draco, if the words have gone stuck, let me help you by going first. Not that you've missed anything of course, but as a gesture of good will: I had a knife up my ass!"
"Stop that!" Draco said, feeling the fury about the abuse on Neville rise again.
"And then," Neville continued, ignoring Draco, "I almost had my balls cut off by a really dull blade, but not before having my face slammed into a wall a couple of times. And you know what? I was really scared, Draco, because I thought I was going to die and I would never see you again and if you think it's easy for me to say this, you're very, very wrong and then you can go to hell!"
Draco's anger melted off him again. Neville looked really hurt and Draco could feel it in his own system, as if they were connected with invisible threads. He looked at his feet.
"I can't tell you." He murmured.
Again, he was painfully reminded about why he had to end it right there.
He needed to say something cruel, just like those millions of things he had said to Neville in the past, to sever this tie, to save Neville from disaster. But the words seemed to have gone stuck in his throat.
I am not weak, it will pass and…my father taught me to think that!
"It's over!"
With seemingly no control over his own actions, Draco rushed out of the room, leaving a shocked Neville behind.
"Draco, WAIT!"
But Draco ran all the way up to the Slytherin toilet and locked himself in there, feeling how the withheld burden of tears became impossible to restraint.
But back at the room, Neville broke free from his paralysed state and had one ambition in his mind only. This simply wasn't happening!
They hadn't been through all this just to end it now!
If Draco, being his world at the present, really wanted to break up, then he was really going to explain himself thoroughly, with nothing left unsaid! He was ready to storm right into the Slytherin dormitory to take the confrontation if necessary!
And Snape was going to help him do it!
