Blue: 'Allo, 'allo! This story is brought to you by Minute Man Slushies! "The gift that makes the world go round."
Carrie: snort Like hell you could get a sponsor even if you tried.
Blue: Stupid person ruining my fun… But guess what!
Honda: What?
Carrie: dances around IgotTekken5IgotTekken5IgotTekkken5Igot…
Otogi: twitch twitch BAM!
Carrie: Oww…
Blue: No-o, my brother gave me sugar!
Shizuka: Oh god, you can come in now!
Men in white suits: drag Blue away while she's cackling
Blue: You'll never take me alive! Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Reviews:
Crazyrabidfangurl: Blue barely restrains Carrie Shouldn't do that hon, Carrie's gonna jump you in a dark alley and she'll have reason if yoou've hit her with a paper fan.
Kumori Sakusha formerly Saelbu: Aww, love from constant reviewers!
Velvetina: Don't worry, if anyone understands about computers crapping out on them Carrie does. Carrie: But really you flatter us.
Lothwen the Harpist: We're glad you picked the fic up and started reading it again. And yes, this chapter is going to be really yummy. ; ) (We're hyper too!)
Miru Amai: Carrie: Yeah Blue did that to her driving instructor the first time she took her test for her drivers license 'cause the guy was being an ass at the DMV… But anyway, lots of our humor is twisted in the way of people holding betting pools about people private lives, kinda like how my guy friends always invite me to play cards with them or else they'd be playing strip poker with only men! XD
Mandapandabug: Bue: We decided to make Seto the biggest cheese ball on the face of the planet, and frankly we aren't too disappointed with the results… Don't worry about leaving long reviews, we Carrie smushes her face in to see love reading what people have on their minds!
FireieGurl, Sami Ryou's Hikari: O.O We're flattered. Really.
Yuki-nakayama-hidaka: Double bounce We love Jou and Seto too!
ChainsLeatherSex: That was a new kind of review, judge cards… Thanks, we like to know how fan satisfaction is doing, keep us posted!
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Current music: March to the Scaffold from Symphonie fantastique by Hector Berlioz
Disclaimer: Recycling bin sliding, while dangerous and not encouraged, is a hell of a lot of fun, ask Carrie.
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Making Room for New Pairings, Ch. 10: Those Don't go in the Microwave!
Optometrist's office, 10:04 AM
Current Inventory:
Paper, lots of paper
A clip board
Rubber bands
Paper cup, paper plates
Pens w/ caps and pencils
1 flame retardant blanket
Easter peeps (aged to perfection)
1 microwave
Sharpie markers
Scissors
1 recycling bin
Spray air freshener
Jou was stating what was currently in the office that they could safely use without being murdered by Dr. Komiyama.
"All right I get it! There isn't much to do here and I know you're bored but you can't just destroy this poor woman's office," Seto told him exasperated.
Jou looked at him with an air of innocence about him. "I'm not planning on it."
"Then what are you going to… OW! What in the name of all nine circles of hell was that!"
#1 Kaiba Rule: Fear projectiles.
Jou sat in his chair at a safe distance of three feet with an arsenal of paper clip lined up along the arm and was carefully firing them at Seto using a rubber band.
"What are you OW! Doing? OW! Are you OW! Three or something OW!"
"Damn, no more paper clips," Jou mumbled to himself disregarding what his boyfriend was saying. "Hey, there's a good ramp outside I'm going sliding."
10:11AM
New #1 Kaiba Rule: Never leave Katsuya to his own devices.
Jou ran outside with the recycling bin in hand. Kaiba followed with his finger on the speed dial for the local hospital. Outside, Katsuya put down the bright yellow bin at the top of a smooth, thirty feet long, concrete ramp and got in. And it was wet. "Give me a push Kaiba!" He exclaimed doing his best to sound like a small child.
Seto stood there and pinched the bridge of his nose thinking it over. 'If he wants a push, I guess I'll push him.' Kaiba walked behind Jou, put his hands on his back, and gave a firm shove.
"Wooo hooo!" Katsuya yelled as he gripped the front of the recycling bin and he spun out at the end of the ramp. "Let's go again!"
Kaiba shook his head; 'I've started a monster.' He saw Jou grinning like a boy given candy for no reason and thought otherwise.
"Now it's your turn!"
Eyes widen, heart racing, sweat breaks on forehead. "I think I'll pass on this one…" Seto looking longingly at the chair in the office he had vacated.
"Nuh uh, you gotta try it at least once before you say no," Jou proclaimed.
"I've done it and before and don't like it."
Major eye roll. "I'm glad you decided to be a CEO and not a lawyer because you're a terrible liar."
Seto had the good grace to be mildly irritated at that comment, "How about you get an IOU and we'll settle it later."
Katsuya's eyes narrowed in a devious way, "Can you owe me anything?" His voice lingered on the last word a little longer.
"Yes, I promise."
"Okay, we can go back inside then!" Seto found his hand grabbed and he was dragged inside again.
10:57 AM
It was quiet, too quiet… Jou had been quiet for almost a half since they inside from Jou's 'wild ride', something just wasn't right.
Seto turned his head to look back at Jou, wait! Where did he go? Hummm… he snapped his attention towards the microwave. "Jou what are you cooking in there?" Be afraid, very afraid.
"Peeps."
"Jou! You don't put those is the microwave!" He ran towards the table with the microwave on it, only to see a little yellow chick go POOF! all over the inside. The little table inside stopped spinning and Seto popped open the small door. The entire surface area of the microwave had yellow sugar and fluff on it.
Jou ran his fingers through the explosion and sucked on it greedily. Kaiba eyes him. "What? This is the only way to eat a peep."
Snort. "And I eat ice cream through a straw."
"Wow, that must give you a headache. But speaking of ice cream we should get some on the way home to celebrate your being able to see the world again," Jou ran his hand in for another taste of blown up peeps.
11:13AM
"Jou. Katsuya… you awake?" Kaiba had the mop of golden hair on his shoulder, and his lap filled with Katsuya, who was snoring softly. "Sigh… I can't help but love you, puppy…" He drifted of to sleep with his mind filled with blond hair and chocolate covered eyes.
12:29PM
Seto slowly blinked awake, immediately noticing he was cold, that cold was due to an absence of Katsuya. "Jou? Where did you run off to, don't make me call the dogcatcher." A folded piece of paper came flying by him. Kaiba looked around the room and saw the source of the flying menaces was coming from behind the desk. Cautiously, he leaned over to inspect. Whoosh… Seto saw Jou leaning against the desk on the floor with a small armada of paper airplanes that he had made and modified during the time of his brief nap.
"Seto, can you hand me 'The Avenger'? It landed near your feet," Jou asked while folding a new piece of paper.
" 'The Avenger'?" The brunet was straining to hold back a laugh. He bent down and picked it up and saw sure enough the airplane's name printed on the side in green marker. Seto handed it to Katsuya.
Jou accepted it. "Yes, do you have a problem with my brain child's name?"
"Not at all…" Kaiba mumbled looking at the fleet surrounding his boyfriend. The planes sported names like: My Susannah, Thunderclap, The Crimson King, Only Strikes at Mid-World Lanes, Your Mom Goes to College, The F-ing Cancer Sticks, etc. "Have you ever considered joining our school's creative writing program, Jou?"
"Nope." 'Charyou Tree' made its maiden flight before spinning backward on itself and crashing. "I should clean these up before the doc comes back or else," he said as he scooped the planes into the waste bin. Kaiba went and sat back down in his chair, and Jou sat in 'his' chair. 'His' chair being Kaiba.
A mother and her son walked into the office and gave them a funny look but chose not to comment.
1:04PM
The mother and son came out of the examination room looking pleased and smiled at the boys as she walked out. Dr. Komiyama came out of the small room and told Kaiba and Jou they could come in.
"Katsuya, just to demonstrate, do you want to read the lowest line you can on the chart?" She asked him.
"Sure," he went and stood on the line drawn in the carpet. "Ninth line, M-Y V-I-S-I-O-N I-S F-I-N-E."
The doctor smacked him in the head; "Go sit down wise guy. Now Seto, come here and put on your glasses and read the lowest you can."
Kaiba pulled his sleek, half moon, silver-framed glasses out and put them on. "Seventh line down, a, n, p, r, 5, j, s, o, e, d, 9, k."
"Very good, except the third letter is a 'G' not a 'P'." They repeated this process with him covering his right eye then his left. "Go sit in the chair by the wall and we can start evaluating you for your new prescription."
"Tell me better or worse after each new lens."
"Better, better, worse, better," he told her with all the excitement of a cow chewing cud.
She had him compare the prescriptions a moment later by saying one or two. "You have a new prescription of –1.25 instead of –1.0. Now for the fun part of you getting to stick plastic in your eyes for the first time."
Jou nudged her and spoke in a whisper; "Can ya be a little nicer? He didn't want to come in the first place."
Komiyama patted him on the head, "Don't worry hon, I just have a warped sense of humor when it comes to kids getting contacts."
She sat Kaiba down at a small table and handed him two contact trays. "Just open then up and set them on your finger like a little bowl." Seto did as he was told and held the small disk on the pad of his right index finger. "Good, I'll teach you how to put the contact in although you can do it differently once you're used to them. Pull your top right eyelid open with your left index finger and the bottom with your right middle finger and pop the sucker in!"
In Kaiba's mind the process was relatively simple. But as soon as he realized his eye had an overwhelming urge to shut when a foreign object was brought near it he soon became frustrated. "Jou, it's not going to go in."
The blonde blew a lock out of his face, "Says you, here I'll show you." He grabbed a pair of sample contacts and quickly popped them in and showed Seto. Which consequently made Kaiba blush at the first thought that rose to his mind. 'And you'll see her standing there, with green eyes and long blonde hair. She won't be wearing… bad train of thought. Stupid song…'
He loved Jou's brown eyes, but those green contacts made him look so much more like a woman than he cared to admit. "I still can't get them in."
An exasperated sigh from Jou. "Just sit still." Katsuya sat across from him with a contact on the tip of his finger. He leaned forward and licked the patch of skin right below his ear and then blew on it. Kaiba's eyes immediately shot open from the feeling of warm and cold and Jou got one contact in while he was stunned. Seto blinked several times to adjust to having something between his eyelid.
"This by far takes the cake on hilarious experiences while someone is getting their contacts. I've had crying fits, and screaming matches, but I have never seen someone use that method to get contacts in someone's eyes." The doctor was eyeing them, "Now all you have to do is get the other one in and you'll be good."
"Open your eyes wide and focus on me Seto," Jou told him.
Seto fixated himself on Jou's now green eyes, 'So beautiful…' "Ah! Son of a bitch!" Jou popped the contact in when he wasn't expecting it.
"Don't rub at it Seto, it'll just irritate them." Jou slapped Kaiba's hands down to the table.
The doctor coughed to get their attention. "Now all you have to do is remember to take them out each night and put them in saline solution. The office will put in your order for the lenses so you are good to go!"
Jou and Kaiba were getting ready to go when Kaiba remembered something; "Doctor, can I have a pair of those green contacts?"
She gave him a curious look but said sure, "Those aren't prescription just to remind you."
"I know, they're for Katsuya," Seto told her.
"All right, then I'll see you in a year when you need more contacts," she thought for a moment and then said, "Just remember you shouldn't sleep in these, so don't let Katsuya wear you out too much," wink.
Insert baffled look from Kaiba.
"…"
"…"
"…Oh!"
Katsuya saw/heard this exchange and covered his face with his hands. "C'mon we're leaving," and he dragged Seto back to the car.
"Soo… how do you like the contacts?" Jou asked.
Kaiba blinked and looked at him. "Everything is brighter and sharper looking, I enjoy seeing the world clearly."
"That's good. Get in the car, I'm taking you out for ice cream," Jou ordered.
"Demanding aren't we?" Seto said as he got into the passenger side of the car.
"Me? No? Never?" Jou joked as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"Sarcasm? You? Never?"
"Kaiba? Hit window? Again." With that Jou stepped on the brake sending Kaiba into the windshield for the second time that day.
Seto climbed back into the seat; "Well don't you just suck." He glared at Jou, much to his disappointment he didn't succeed in setting Jou on fire with laser vision.
Katsuya rolled his eyes, "But it's not whether I suck or not that matters, it's if I spit or swallow."
Kaiba put his face in his hands. "Never again Jou, never again."
"Let's go get some ice cream."
"Agreed."
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Blue: You had fun with this one didn't you Carrie.
Carrie: Yup.
Blue: We apologize for the lateness of this chapter…
Carrie: it's because of real life scheduling that got in the way.
Otogi: Damn real life!
Carrie: It's because I had soccer (still do), French club, tech crew, band, and a huge manga fix to slate…
Blue: and I had fencing, volunteer work, rugby, and torturing Anzu on the side.
Honda: But the one thing ya gotta remember…
Shizuka: TO FEED THE AUTHOR!
Blue: Next chapter: Dirty innuendo while eating ice cream, an intrigue with green contacts. And someone has a picture of Jou and Seto, who is it and what do they want?
Everyone: Bye!
