Blue: We're going to stop promising updates within a week.
Carrie: They just don't happen.
Honda: Even though Carrie was on summer break.
Carrie: I have plenty of other things to do other than bust my ass for you!
Otogi: Name three.
Carrie: You're not nice…
Blue: looks up from newspaper That was fascinating…
Carrie: And you can now check out our other story under the Tekken category, "Welcome to Ardith".
Blue: But no one cares.
Carrie: TT You are so cruel Haruko-chan! Opps, wrong manga.
Blue: And now for what we think we would happen if Seto were a redneck!
Kaiba: sits on couch I want a beer an' I want ta see somethin' nekid.
Carrie: And there you have it!
Jou: walks in What the hell did you do to him! kills Carrie
Blue: That's not good… I need her for editing…
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Reviews:
Icy Sapphire15: huggles Seto Yah, they are. But who cares? This chapter is getting written and then everyone will be happy when it's done.
Kenshinfan21: Gomen nasai on the slow updates!
Miru Amai: The lyrics are from Blink 182's "The Party Song". I didn't put any more in cause 1) this isn't a song fic (Thank the gods). And 2) the lyrics go on to say that girls like that do nothing but flirt and leave you with a case of blue balls at the end of the night : P.
Darkwitch17: Here, we present the next chapter.
PrettyRaven: Thank you! Blue we have a fan! Blue: grins Carrie's on pills too! Carrie: Shut yer pie hole! I'm actually trying to find someway to slam Kaiba into a window again.
Mandapandabug: No long reviews are good! I just threw that in the plot blender for flavor. I also have a plot oven for fresh baked yaoi!
Youko: Thankies!
Shimisaki-kun: We were going for weird and way out of character.
Rose In The Shadows: And we give you a major ten too! hugs the reviewer
Ithildae a Celeb Naur: No pokey the beta! Blue does that to me enough! My favorite fruit is Lee Chaolan from Tekken. Blue: And my favorite is umm… mandarins! Carrie: thwacks Blue Shaddup!
Iridescent Vie: Cool, glad we got you addicted.
moony-lupin-2: Poor Ryou, I think I already drove him crazy...
linku: Wow, I'm surprised you sat through that, we applaud you and hope you continue reading.b
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Current Music: Fruitcake by: Jimmy Buffet
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We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Jimmy Buffet lyric copyrights, Tekken, Blue Collar Comedy, or Legolas' forest green thong. ...Don't ask.
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Making Room for New Pairings, Chapter 11: The Day the World Shit Itself
Kaiba and Jou made it safely to an ice cream parlor a couple streets over without any more incidents involving the brakes and the windshield. Kaiba personally noted that Katsuya was a complete gentleman and treated him sweetly. Opened his door and held out his arm and everything. Jou thought everything was perfect and he was off the hook until Kaiba saw his face in the store window and saw that all the blood was pooling around his nose and making him look flushed. 'Well there goes my once chance of survival…'
"Katsuya! Look what you did to my face!"
He rolled his eyes, "But you look so cute like that." And narrowly missed the fist that swung his way.
They walked into the ice cream shop and all the old couples and mothers with small children looked in their direction to see who had come in. Kaiba shot a deadly glare at Jou; "You are so lucky there are small children here."
"I know you care," Jou leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.
"Go pick out your ice cream Jou, that was the whole reason we came here right?" He pointed at the display case showing all the different flavors.
"Seto!" Jou whined at him, "This was all about celebrating that you got your contacts! You have to get some too!"
"Fine, if it'll make you happy."
"It will, you're too skinny so we're gonna get you a double scoop," he accented his statement with poking him in the ribs.
Kaiba overheard one of the old couples sitting in a booth near them talking, "Look at them they are so cute, I wonder if all the young couples are like them?" The woman asked her husband.
He sighed, 'Thank all things holy I didn't wear my trench coat, no one recognizes me because I don't look very imposing.'
The sales clerk came to the counter and asked what they would have. "I want a double scoop chocolate waffle cone please!" Jou told the man.
"And I'll have a single…"
"Double!" Jou interrupted.
"A double strawberry waffle cone."
"That'll be ¥656," they were told.
Jou started to pull the money out of his pockets when Kaiba stopped him. "I got it, don't worry about it." He produced a ¥1000 bill and received his change. When they got their ice cream they went and sat at a table by the window.
Seto sat there lazily licking at his cold desert. Katsuya watched this display for several moments before realizing he was staring. "Seto will stop molesting that frickin' ice cream cone with your mouth already!"
"Huh?" He stopped eating and looked at Jou who was looking at him as if he was doing something obscene. "What?"
Jou leaned closer and whispered to him, "Would ya cut that out, it looks like you're giving that ice cream head."
Kaiba let his head drop onto the table, "Is that it? That you can't keep your imagination under control?"
"No!" Came the immediate answer.
"In that case…" He took his waffle cone and shoved it as far in his mouth as he could, (which was all but the last inch and a half) bit it off and swallowed.
Jou gave him this incredulous look, "You know you can tell how a person is in bed by watching them eat ice cream."
Kaiba returned the look, "And should I assume that's how you would be in bed judging by the fact that your ice cream is leaking all over you hand?"
"Ah crap!" He frantically slurped the chocolate that was running down his wrist.
"Even the little kids here know how to keep their food from melting in their hands," Seto laughed at him.
Jou hit him with a plastic spoon as he continued to eat his ice cream. "We're so sweet to each other, maybe we should go a few rounds in the ring to get it out of our system," Jou said with a laugh.
Kaiba had a wicked grin on his face, "You do know that I have a boxing ring in my house, right? You and me can go and spar in the privacy of my weight room."
Katsuya dropped his food on the table. "I'm not normally one to back down from a fight, especially with you. But I really don't think that would be a great idea."
"And why not? You were just saying how great it would be for us to vent our aggression," Kaiba was just smirking. 'Fucking with him is so much fun.'
"I was also going to say how I don't want to fight someone who's elbows are level with my nose."
"I'm not that tall!"
"Not quite but close, I'm 175cm and you're at least, I emphasize at least, 15cm taller than me," Jou thought it was weird to be defending his short-ness.
Seto looked around and saw that at least three people in the shop were trying to inconspicuous while eavesdropping on them, and failing miserably. He picked up Jou's soggy ice cream cone and shoved it in his mouth. "Lets go Jou, people are starting to stare," he shot a dirty glare at the people trying to hear their conversation as he wrapped an arm around Jou's shoulder.
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Outside
"That was sickeningly sweet," said a voice coming from a figure that happened to be sitting on the hood of Kaiba's car.
Kaiba glared. "Would you mind explaining to me why exactly your ass is on the hood of my corvette, Dinosaur Ryuzaki?"
"Yeah, don't you have some baby to go take candy from or something?" Jou asked.
The dinosaur duelist rolled his eyes, "And don't you have some hydrant to go pee on?" He shot at Jounouchi.
Kaiba's eye twitched, 'He's my dog! No one else has the privilege to insult him with dog jokes!' "Look kid," Kaiba leaned over the small figure with a sadistic grin on his face and a gleam in his eyes, "See this trunk?" He pointed to the corvette's trunk.
Ryuzaki nodded.
"It's just big enough to fit a body in, so either go away or you'll be seeing the inside of it real soon."
The boy just rolled his eyes, "Shove off Kaiba, or I will make your life hell. And that's exactly what I came to discuss with you."
"Discussing? I think not, we'll be leaving now."
Kaiba turned on heel and motioned for Jou to get in the car.
"I can see the headlines now 'Kaiba Caught Kissing His Gay Lover in Apartment Hall!'
Both boys froze in their tracks and turned around slowly.
Seto walked back over to stand in front of Ryuzaki. "What do you want?"
"Your brother."
"What!" Kaiba exclaimed, "What do you want Mokuba for you perverted freak!"
"Not like that, jeez, don't get your panties in a twist Kaiba. I want rights to see your brother… as a friend," he told them.
"Or what? What newspaper is going to believe some twelve year old when they say Seto Kaiba is gay?"
The teen smirked, "First of all I'm fourteen. Second, I won't tell them, they'll receive this picture of you two necking in your apartment hallway and let them have a field day with it."
Jou ran over and grabbed him around the shoulders, "Why were you in my apartment building in the first place ya stalker?"
"What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? I was three doors down in my aunt's apartment, to see my new cousin, they named her Haruka. Strike any bells Jounouchi?"
"His story checks out, Mrs. Hatagami had a baby a little over a month ago and it's a girl, I can't believe she's related to a bastard like you." Jou slumped against the car in frustration.
"Are you and my brother already friends?" Seto asked.
Nod nod.
"Then I guess I have to allow this, just give me the damn photo and any copies you might have." Seto sighed in defeat; a punk kid was out maneuvering him.
"Nice. A pleasure doing business with you, I will bring the memory card with me the next time I see you." Ryuzaki handed over the picture after that and left.
Jou nudged Seto, "C'mon let's go back to your place, we've had enough excitement for one day."
"Okay, but I'm driving!" Seto yelled.
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"It's not fair," Jou told him while they were driving.
"That I got to drive? Get over it."
"Not that. That kid was going to go to the press and then everyone would basically assume that we're sleeping together, which technically we're not," Katsuya sat there and pouted.
"We could fix that," Seto told him.
"What? Seriously! When!" Kaiba had caught his attention and Jou wasn't letting go of the tempting bait now.
"Soon, maybe." He took one hand off the steering wheel and started to run it up and down the blond's thigh.
Jou looked at Seto, "Drive fast."
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Kaiba Mansion
'At least Mokuba won't be home yet. Place all to ourselves.' Those were the last thoughts in his heads before Jou jumped him.
Kaiba felt like he was spinning, Jou's hands just seemed to be everywhere at once. "Jou, bedroom." Best stick to simple phrases when your brain was fogging over.
The tricky part for the two was getting up the stairs, down the hall, into Seto's room, all without taking their hands off each other. Jou relinquished control as Kaiba's tongue asked for entrance to his mouth, which he gladly gave.
'He only thinks he's taking the lead…' Jou's mind told him, he had something completely different in mind for Seto.
Kaiba plunged his hands into the beautiful gold hair before him and grabbed the back of Jou's thigh, trying to hoist him up to make it easier to walk. He took the hint and wrapped his legs around Seto's waist, rubbing himself fervently against his thigh as he was carried upstairs.
By the time Seto kicked open the double doors to his room Jou had already been given enough time to fling open both their shirts and leave his mark in the form of a large hickey right above his left collar bone.
Kaiba deposited Jou on his bed as he threw off his jacket and shirt. He stood at the foot board taking off his belt when he looked up to see Jou lying wantonly in the center of his bed looking breathless. He only had a white button down on, fully undone and barely concealing him as he spread his legs wide in invitation.
Jou motioned for him to join him; Seto dropped the belt and walked over to the side of the bed. The blond haired teen turned and looked at him, "I want you, and I want you now."
Kaiba could do nothing but oblige his wish as he got on to the bed with him and made to kiss Jou. Their lips met and Jou started to rub against him and then it happened.
'He fucking flipped me on my back, nani!' It took him a moment to register what had happened while he realized there were no hands or lips on him. And then those silken lips descended on him again, this time lower, by his navel and moving further south still. He thought that there was going to be a hot mouth engulfing him momentarily, but that was not to be.
Kaiba felt his eyes jump out of their sockets as he felt a cold slick finger circle his entrance and quickly delve in. He gasped at the strange invasion that he had not been expecting. Jou pinched one of his nipples to take his mind off of what he was doing. "Just relax, I'm going to make you feel sooo good."
And Seto's number one fear of this relationship was coming true. He was bottoming out. The uke position was now filled. Kaiba is the pouf, how many other ways can we say it?
As a second finger was added he started to shy away from the fingers and squirmed around on the comforter. Jou stopped Seto's movements with a mind-numbing kiss. Seto clung to him and drank in his kiss like cool water. "You need loosen up," Jou slapped a pale cheek and felt the muscles give way and let him insert a third slick finger.
"It's hard to relax with three fingers up your ass," Kaiba grit out.
But just as he started to tense again Jou drew out two of his finger leaving only his index finger. He thrust hard into Seto's cleft and hit something deep inside him that he didn't he even know existed. Kaiba fisted the sheets and arched towards the hand doing wonderful, terrible things to him.
"Seto Kaiba, meet your prostate."
The brunet couldn't stop his ragged breathing. "Fuck you."
"No Seto, I think I'll be fucking you," Jou told him as he applied lube to himself.
Kaiba lay still repeating over in his mind that he wasn't really the bottom in this relationship, and then oh shit did that hurt a bit.
He snapped back to reality, his eyes enlarging to the size of saucers. Jou had penetrated him and it was hurting. Seto gasped trying to bring enough oxygen to his burning lungs. "Breathe, you need to breathe Seto," Jou told him as he sunk himself in deeper.
Kaiba took a deep breath it hurt less now. "You okay?" Jou asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, but you're going to have to move," he rolled his hips, letting Jou soak up the pleasure of his actions.
Then came his first thrust and Kaiba whined helplessly as that bundle of nerves was stroked inside him. "Jou if you don't move faster I'm going to flip you over and finish this myself."
His wish was granted, Jou thrust fast and hard having to hold Seto in place, kissing him with a bruising force.
Katsuya leaned forward and stroked Seto, "Come for me Seto." He hit that spot one last time with savage force to send Kaiba over the edge.
Jou kept hitting his prostate while he came; when Katsuya finally came he leaned forward and kissed Kaiba senseless before moving off to 'his' side of the bed. Aka the right side.
Seto was pretty much boneless at the moment making him pliant enough to be held in Jou's arms. They both lay there, basking in the afterglow.
But Katsuya sat up to stretch his neck. "Seto, why is there a huge pile of towels on your floor?"
Said Kaiba was nestled in the covers lying on his stomach. "I probably just need to have them washed or something." Jou lay back down and spooned up behind his boyfriend.
Seto looked up, "I never let my laundry pile up…" he said as he watched a pile of blue and white towels inched across the bedroom floor. "What the fuck!"
Suddenly Mokuba jumped out of the towels and made a mad dash for the door while spitting out a speeded explanation. "Ididnotseeanything! Ididnothearanything! Iwasinyourbathroombeforeyoucamehome!" He ran out of the master bedroom like the dogs of hell were after him.
Kaiba sat on the end of his bed; "Well I guess that covers how to tell Mokuba that we're seeing each other."
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The Next Morning
Jou slowly stirred from sleep, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. 'Where am I?' Kaiba's room, that's right…'
He tried to get out of bed but found his legs entangled with Seto's and aforementioned person still sleeping contently beside him. Jou slipped as slowly as he could from the bed, his efforts were in vain though as his wrist was grabbed forcing him to turn around.
"Where are you going?" Kaiba asked sleepily as he sat up in bed, wincing slightly.
"We have to get ready for school," Jou replied as he pointed to an alarm clock sitting on the left nightstand.
The brunet relaxed back into the sheets. "I'm not going today, do you not want to go?"
Jou sighed, that bed looked awfully tempting… "I can't, it would look bad if we left school together yesterday and then neither of us showed up. Plus you're not my father, you can't call me in sick."
Kaiba knew that every word he said made sense but he could not help being slightly disappointed. "Okay then, get one of my uniforms out of the bureau for yourself."
"Why would I need one of your… Oh-" Jou saw his school jacket in Kaiba's hand which he must have scooped off the floor. It was wrinkled, with the top few buttons popped off (most likely from last night), and was slightly torn about the collar from their scuffle yesterday. "I will do that."
Kaiba smiled as he watched his puppy put on his uniform after he had gotten out of the shower. Jou walked over to the bedside after he pulled up the pant legs. "I think these are a bit too big on me." Just as he finished saying that the jacket sleeves fell down over his hands.
He got out of bed and removed a blue robe from the same bureau and donned said article of clothing. "Do you mind if I use non-professional techniques to make these fit you?"
"Uh," Katsuya had no clue what he was talking about, "Sure!"
Kaiba walked to a roll top desk along one of the walls and removed a roll of duct tape. He knelt in front of Jou, tucked the pants in under themselves and used the duct tape to fasten it. Jou gave him a quizzical look. "What? That's what you do if your suit alterations are messed up and the pants are too long. Plus, duct tape holds the world together."
"I can't believe I just heard you say that," Jou said after an outburst of laughter. "But something still needs to be done about these sleeves."
Insert dramatic eyeroll from Kaiba. He unbuttoned the cuffs and pulled the blue jacket arms up to his elbows, overall giving Katsuya a breezy, rebellious look. "Lets go downstairs, I want some coffee."
"Why do you drink that?"
"Because it wakes me up."
"It's bad for you."
"So is bingeing on food like you do at lunch everyday."
"Touché."
Kaiba glanced at the clock. "You should get going, do you want me to call the driver for you?"
"Nah, I can walk. But I want to have a proper goodbye." Jou ran his hands over the smooth chest that the robe didn't cover and gave him a kiss goodbye.
Seto heard a loud crash behind them and turned around. Mokuba was standing there and had dropped a glass of water he had been carrying. "I'm sorry, it takes some getting used to…" was all he said before walking back the way he came.
"I'll talk to him and make sure he's not mentally disturbed after last night," Kaiba assured Jou. "You just go to school and study hard."
"Yes mother…" Jou drawled as they walked to the front door together.
Kaiba kissed him one more time; "I'll see you after school then?"
"Mmm hmm," was the reply he got.
Kaiba watched out the window as Jou walked up the street until he was out of sight.
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At School
"Jou! You're here today, you disappeared after you were sent to the principal's office," Honda was inquiring after his whereabouts.
"Yeah, I got suspended for the day no biggie," he smoothly lied.
"Was your dad upset you were home early?" Yuugi asked.
All of the sudden this 'Oh-Shit-I-Messed-Up-So-I-Have-To-Leave-Now' face wiped all across the blond's face. Jou ran into an empty classroom and took out his cellphone. He could hear it ringing on the other end but the answering machine picked up. "Sorry I wasn't home last night dad. There was an emergency that came up and I had to deal with, I hope you aren't angry with me. Katsuya."
Jou's day was same as usual, without Kaiba, and with teachers telling him to fix his uniform. Aside from that it was another ordinary day, he hung out with the gang, daydreamed in class, and thought about Kaiba a lot. He told his friends something about having to clean the kitchen and needing to get home. And he headed back to Kaiba's place…
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Blue: I had major Writer's Block.
Carrie: And I came along with the 'Super Hammer of DOOM!' and crushed that block to bits!
Blue: Damn straight she did.
Carrie: mutters Redneck…
Blue: Heard that, I am not!
Carrie: There, we made Jou and Kaiba do it.
Blue: loosens tie And none of you people would report us, now would you? Ahem, Carrie make sure the story is on a disk.
Carrie: Si signora, in finire.
Blue: Say what? Stupid bitch… boots her out the door I'll call you when I need you!
Note from Author and Beta: This story isn't done, and we don't really know how it will end. Happy is what we're aiming for and at least four chapters is what will be put out before it's done. Next chapter! Sneaky Ryuzaki makes his first visit to the Kaiba estate while Seto wants Jou to attend a classy fundraiser with him… in a dress!
Next Chapter Title: Meet My Date, Kaoru.
