Author's Notes: Well, I hope you've been waiting for it... here it is: Chapter six of Anywhere But Home: "Missing" which is one of my favorite songs. if it isn't one of yours, then go screw yourself, cuz I don't care. I hope the last chapter was bitchy enough for ya! Onward, hooooe! heh heh... i said 'hoe' heh heh... erm.. anyway, today's lesson kids is that prostitution is wrong! to the story!

Disclaimer: Have you ever wondered what the patent meeting for a grilled cheese was like? It must've been like:

Patent officer: So, it's ...erm.. 'grilled.. cheese'?

Creator-Dude-Guy: yeah, dude, it's gonna be huge, just wait

Patent officer: erm.. yeah.. I really don't think it's what we're looking for... or what the rest of the world is looking for. Have a nice day!

Creator-Dude-Guy: well, fine, I'll just patent it myself, stupid! ((sticks tongue out)) SO NYAH!

Patent officer: Well, Um... Okay, you do that then, sir.

Creator-Dude-Guy: HAHA! Who's in charge now!

Yeah, that was what it was like... I know, I was there! Whaddya mean that's not how it happened! Were you there! HUH! HUH, PUNK! YEAH, YEAH, WHAT NOW? WHAT NOW!

thisisanywherebuthoooooomeanywherebuthoooooooooooooooooooooooooomeanywherebuthoooooooooooooooooooome

Kagome sat in the window in her bedroom. Tear stains ran down her cheeks and the normal determined pierce of her eyes was muted in a desperate last resort to hide herself. She watched as the beautiful petals of the Goshin-Boku's flowers rained lightly to litter the ground in kaleidoscope patterns, contrasting against the earth that sheltered the massive oak's roots. She held her fingers out, reached out her arm to touch that tree, knowing she couldn't touch, but reaching out anyway. Like trying to bring your hand to meet the stars and the moon at night, never had reaching that towering tree seemed so difficult. To her surprise, a small bird fluttered down upon her hand, leaping about and peeping playfully in a high-pitched voice that brought light to the day, where the sky was still clustered by tall, billowing clouds from the recent storms.

She pulled her hand into her face and studied the small creature, noticing a long, twining scar that ran down one wing, and immediately thought of her best friend, Sango; how the bird's fiery eyes and songlike spirit brought a ray of sunshine into the darkest of nights. How, even when scarred brutally both mentally and physically, the Taijiya's hopes still soared like this tiny animal in her hand. Kagome sniffed lightly, and felt the tears come again, retracing old paths down her face, from eyes that were sick and tired of crying, yet could do nothing to stop. She focused all her attention on the bird on her fingers, as she felt the tiniest of pinpricks where its small talons gripped innocently, when it turned and looked her in those same tearstained eyes and gave a long, sorrowful whistle, as though speaking directly to her. She sniffed again and the tears fell into her lap. The bird cocked its head and hopped once, chirping brightly, curious as to why this girl had a personal rainstorm to carry around inside of her. It peeped once loudly, with a definate sadness in its eyes, something incredibly rare for a songbird, and then fluttered away, as though in apology for making her cry. She stared with blank and tearing eyes as it shot and flew through the sky with an unmatched grace and beauty. She ducked her head, wishing that she could run like that, fly so far away that she could hide forever, never having to face any of this. She envied the same creature that she had just held and reverred so tenderly only a moment ago.

/Please, please forgive me...

But I won't be home again.../

Those same fiery golden eyes that that same songbird possessed, that piercing, all-knowing gaze that it had fixed upon her, filled with sadness and devotion, happiness and a stubborn, die-hard spirit, all that, and her watching it fly away so gallantly, needless to say, reminded her of a certain hanyou. Then the tears started again, full-force: the look he had given her before she left, the hateful look she had given him in return, coupled with her searing, indirect 'goodbye'. The concern in his voice when he spoke to her. That spiteful walking mound of bones. The anger rose in her again and she now knew what it felt like, when Kikyo burned on the funeral pyre; She knew what it felt like to have flames, inside and out, licking her body, and how it felt to be so hateful, so angry, so full of sadness and regret and hopelessness that she didn't even feel those flames, just a burning desire for an untainted, pure immortality, achieved through desecration and demise. She hoped for just a moment that he hadn't forgotten her, and felt the flames through her forgiving nature, and quickly hardened again, no, she just wanted him to remember that last look she had given him. That final, hate-filled, spiteful, angry glare, that made even him wince and step back. But she wanted him to also remember the smiles that she gave him...

/Maybe someday you'll look up..

And barely concious, you'll say to no one:

'Isn't something missing?'/

She hung her legs out of the window, so all she sat on was the window sill, and nothing was beneath her but two stories of air, then hard ground. She watched as the songbirds joined together and started up a whimsical symphony in the branches of the Goshin-Boku. The tree seemed to sway in time to their rythym, using the growing wind as an excuse to dance and move. Maybe they were mocking her, because she couldn't fly and sing in such beautiful, impossible tones as to greet the world to the sun, and the night to the moon. She knew that no one back then would miss her, now. She had been stupid enough, insolent and childish enough to think that maybe there was something there for her. She was naive and ignorant, and she now acknowledged and accepted that fact. No, she wouldn't return there. She realized now that that had been her mistake, ever going back to address her friends, for now she knew she had none. There would be no one to mourn her absence and perhaps she wanted it that way. But for now, she was undecided.

/You won't cry for my absence, I know.

You forgot me long ago./

No, no one would separate he and his precious Kikyo, now. No one would stumble across them as they drowned in the nostalgia of their misspent years. No one would threaten Kikyo, no one but Naraku, and Inu-Yasha didn't need any help there, either. He could defeat anyone and anything. He was perfect, she was perfect. Everything was perfect. Kagome sniffed, and small tearstains erupted and darkened on her skirt. No, she was belittled by Kikyo. She was puny, pathetic... Weak. Compared to Kikyo, she was nothing, apparently, and she had been naive enough to think that maybe there was some competition between the two of them. Ha. She saw now that her challenging Kikyo was like that cute little songbird challenging a hawk. That hawk could kill that little sparrow with its eyes, without even dirtying its flawless, murderous talons. So much for the songbird.

/Am I that unimportant?

Am I so insignificant?

Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me/

No, Kikyo and Inu-Yasha were meant for each other, she told herself angrily, shaking her head furiously and nearly pulling her hair out as she ran her hand through it. She watched as a single tear fell down the two stories before exploding onto the ground beneath her. She decided that, as fun as falling would be, it was probably best not to do it. Just in case

Inu-Yasha decided that Kikyo was suddenly the songbird.. Ha, yeah right. She still didn't want to fall, though. She took comfort in the fact that he wouldn't miss her, she would do anything to know that he did, but he didn't. She didn't want him to be sad and lonely because he believed that she didn't love him. Oh, no, she loved him more than anything else in the world. But he didn't return the feeling, so she could probably repress it long enough to find someone else. That is, of course, if there was anyone else.

/Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now!

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone...

Isn't someone missing me/

He lay the beautiful, deceased priestess down on the floor of the hut. Her long ebony hair ran unbound and sprawled out to pillow her head, her stoic brown eyes now closed in a red-hazed sleep, as blood continued to run down her face and arms. She had several large slashes on her shoulders and arms, and many unseen cuts, hidden by that same dark hair. She gave a light, pained sound as she felt herself devoid of his warm embrace.

"Inu-Yasha.. What happened to Lady Kikyo?" Miroku asked, his voice laden with suspicion and pity, all at once.

"Who did this to my elder sister?" Kaede asked, seeing Kikyo lying on the wooden floor, on Inu-Yasha's red kimono.

"Kagome." His tone was indeterminable and laced with what could almost be called anger.

"No way! Kagome would never do something like this! Not ever!" Shippo said, glaring at Inu-Yasha for even considering the possibility.

"Well, she did." His voice was still flat and monotonous.

"You're kidding me." Sango cut in now, giving Inu-Yasha a direct stare, looking deep into the golden eyes for any trace of being unsure or joking, even. When she found none, she sighed and shook her head, "It was bound to happen sooner or later.. Kagome was so jealous, and Kikyo is so.. perfect. Kagome really cared about you, Inu-Yasha, I hope you know that now that she's probably going to be gone for a while."

Shippo looked up at Sango, "Do you think she'll come back!"

At Sango's sad, mournful look, his eyes teared, "Inu-Yasha, how could do this to Kagome! You're such a selfish JERK! Look at what you're deranged girlfriend has done!"

"Shut up!" Inu-Yasha's voice was filled with a malevolent, deadly warning. The young fox demon quickly looked up and found himself caught in one of the most ferocious and dangerous gazes he had ever seen, "You. Will. NOT. Blame. This. On. Kikyo. Do you understand!" Shippo nodded, terrififed. The look of anger deepened on the hanyou's face. He turned to depart, leaving stunned and shocked looks on the faces of his companions.

"Wh-Where are you going?" Sango asked, immediately angry at herself for stuttering.

"Bite me." He left with saying only that, then shot away outside, faster than they could see.

He ran for a while, until he finally settled on a hill, tie-dyed by brilliant wildflowers, that he found he hated immediately. They were so bright and happy, but how could they be! Damn flowery hypocrites! No one was happy forever, and he and the people around him were living proof of that. He sat down angrily, and pulled one of the blossoms up for inspection. He found himself pulling all of its petals off, and enjoying the torturous act a little too much for it to be considered healthy. He tossed the stem away and rested his head on his hand. He sighed angrily, his golden eyes filled with such an anger and hatred that they nearly caused the grass in front of him to catch flame. He stared hard at the ground, before closing his eyes and biting his lip, as his spite turned to sadness. There was thinking to do, and he didn't want to be the one to do it, but there wasn't anyone else who could. He cursed under his breath and silently apologized to the girl with the raven hair and forgiving hazel eyes, whose reflections stained the petals in front of him, who prescence cast light upon the lives around her. He silently apologized to Kagome and remembered her final look at him, so full of anger and betrayal. He hated himself, now. He had made her look like that. He had made her that angry, that regretful.

/Please, please, forgive me..

But I won't be home again

I know what you do to yourself./

He knew she would blame herself for what happened. Which was wrong, considering it was his fault, not hers. No, she hadn't constantly angered those around her. She hadn't been so indecisive when it came to choosing sides. She hadn't betrayed, lied, killed. No, she was innocent, it was him that had been so reluctant to forget a past that held nothing for him. It was he who had destroyed the lives and broken the hearts of those around him. He wanted her back, but he didn't deserve someone as beautiful and giving as Kagome. At least that scrawny wolf, Koga wouldn't ever do this to her.

He winced in astonishment at his own stupidity. He was apparently missing the talent of being able to tell when you were going to regret something, so you didn't do it. Myoga called it a conscience, but he was pretty sure he had one of those, he just couldn't tell if something he was doing in the present was going to be something to regret in the future. He knew he couldn't do that, because at the time, protecting Kikyo from Kagome seemed like an intelligent thing to do, but as soon as he saw that horrid look Kagome had given him, he had realized his mistake and his own blind idiocy. Now he not only had to tolerate Kikyo's prescence, but he also had to tolerate Kagome's abscence. (the italics are so that we can recognize that 'prescence' and 'absence' are opposites! yay for sesame street!) He sighed deeply and prayed that Kagome would consider forgiving him and coming back to see him. He hoped she missed him, because he sure as hell missed her and she had only been gone for around two hours.

/I breathe deep and cry out:

"Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me!"/

Maybe the prospect, the possibility that he would never see her again is what egged on this newfound feeling of discontentment and insecurity. Maybe the fact that he knew he had screwed up royally tempted him to leap into that well and follow her around until she even came to contemplate listening to him. He hoped this second, lower-down feeling wasn't anger. The last thing he wanted was to be angry at Kagome, because 1) He had no right to be angry at Kagome, 2) This whole mess was his fault, anyway and 3) She was mad at him, and when they were mad at each other, there was no ground gained in any short amount of time. His original number three was that Kagome was a whole helluva lot better kisser than Kikyo was, but for the sake of preserving Kagome's dignity, he'd go with the fact that she was pissed off at him and had every right to be. He knew she wouldn't do a damn thing to come see him and he acknowledged the fact that he was a complete and total moron. She shouldn't have to drag herself out here, five hundred years from her comfort zone, just to apologize to a jerk. He didn't want to bother her, so he quickly decided there was no point in going through the well, to bring her back, either. He sighed again, he wished she would come back though, if not because he was lazy enough that he wouldn't go get her, but for the fact that he missed her, and he knew damn well that Kikyo wouldn't let him go through.

/Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone...

Isn't someone missing me/

He came to the conclusion that, because he definately did not want to discuss any of these emotions or thoughts with the rest of the group, he should pretend to be mad at Kagome, instead of missing her. That would make Kikyo happy and keep her quiet, but it might also cost him the friendship he had with Sango, Miroku and Shippo. But, when all of this got sorted out, perhaps they'd be understanding. If it ever got sorted out, that is. But at the prospect of rage towards Kagome, his secondary emotions came through and he suddenly found himself questioning again why he shouldn't be mad at her. After all, she had nearly killed Kikyo, nearly murdered her in cold blood, just for being herself. He found the familiar yet ancient regret of ever having met Kagome, that he had harbored when he first met her, before he had come to know her, trust her and even love her. He had hidden it since then, but now it arouse with a new fire. It appeared his next battle would be with a newly designated 'Shard Detector' since Kagome suddenly found that she was too good for their time.

And if I bleed, I'll bleed

Knowing you don't care!

And if I sleep... Just to dream of you,

I'll wake without you there/

Kagome reminisced momentarily as she watched Shippo drawing pictures with his new crayons in her mind, remembered Sango's strong, encouraging words as the Slayer attempted to teach the young miko how to hold and throw Hiraikotsu, and Miroku's kind, mischievious smile right before groping Sango and being slapped brutally. But most of all, she remembered her guardian, the one who had saved her life countless times, as she was helpless, resigned to standing on the sidelines, watching him go through hell all for the name of her and their friends. She hoped he wasn't angry, but at the same time, hoped he was, so that he never, ever missed her and felt this hole she now did. Her empty brown eyes stared blankly out into the springtime day, with a Harvest Moon already in the sky, claiming the world a little too early, rivaling the sun, yet never reaching its brightness.

She stared as the squirrels and other creatures in the shrine's yard frolicked about frantically (try saying that five times fast: 'froclicked about frantically'), as a piercing call sounded through. The rabbits ran for cover and she even saw Buyo retreating into the shelter of the mini-shrine to catch rats. She looked up at the sound of the call and gasped, as the beauty she once held in her hand now lay, swathed in blood, in a single sequence of events that brought her to terms with her situation and immortalized themselves in her mind: That beautiful, innocent songbird that she had only recently held in her own hand, was now dead. A fierce hawk stood above it, its piercing eyes burning holes in everything around it, its hooked beak and talons dripping and red with blood. She felt her tears fall from her shocked eyes, as she realized how defeated she was. When the hawk finished its meal, it climbed into the sky furiously, pumping its long, graceful wings and launching away faster than the songbird ever could, more graceful and beautiful than the tiny sparrow could ever have been. What shocked her more, was that as soon as the hawk had left, the rest of the small birds came out, only momentarily inspecting their dead friend, before continuing in a happy little harmonizing diddy that coaxed the other animals out of hiding, to go about their business.

So that was her fate, Kikyo had defeated her, and now she was forgotten. She didn't want to be that songbird any longer, so sweet and charming, yet so vulnerable and fragile. Kikyo would always be a hawk, cold and lifeless, merciless and fierce. Even the dead priestess's eyes were smiliar to the cunning and cruel animal. While Kagome had to admit watching the hawk was enticing, it was so beautiful and godly, so surreal, that it could not have been born on this earth or the next. And that reminded her even more of Kikyo, the strong, intelligent gaze, so capable and confident. Yes, poor little Kagome was a songbird, a child and big, powerful Kikyo was a hawk, a killer, a hunter. Kagome felt the tears run hot down her cheeks and let them fall without reprimanding herself. It was not self-pity, no, she cried for the small bird who'd had its life taken away so mercilessly, so quickly, that it had probably never seen it coming until that unforgiving beak and those murderous talons rendered its flesh. Kagome shuddered momentarily as she imagined Kikyo bearing down on her, with one of those horrid arrows aimed dead at her. But why would Kikyo bother with her? She was defeated, lost, hopeless. She had given her all and it wasn't good enough, so there was no competition left. Kikyo was greater, and always would be.

/Isn't something missing?

Isn't something.../

Kagome bowed her head, closed her eyes and muttered a short prayer for the deceased being, promising a funeral later. She believed it was stupid, though, to be so sad for the loss of such a common creature, but she slapped herself mentally for it. That was a cruel thought, to believe that something so small was unworthy of mourning. It was beautiful, even if not the strongest or biggest. The way it had sung so gallantly and proudly was definately something, but now that same melody was muted forever. She knew that was now her fate, so she hung her head and bore the weight of that prospect of how she would be forgotten, she would never fly again, never smile or sing or enjoy the Goshin-Boku's sheltering, motherly branches. No, she, Kagome, would, too, be forgotten, just like that tiny little bird.

/Even though I'm the sacrifice,

You won't try for me, not now.

Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone...

Isn't something missing?

Isn't someone missing me.../

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Author's Notes: wow... ((sniffle) this chapter brought me down a whole lot.. it's so sad... I have to admit, though, not to blow my own horn, but, while it doesn't stay on topic, it is kind of pretty... I know that sounds really weird coming from me, but I really like this chapter. It's so sad, but it's not as bad as the other ones. It made me sad typing it, and you can even ask Naoko-chan about that one, cuz I was talking to her on the phone when I started this chappie, and I was all hyper an'

goof-ball-ish, but now at the end of this chapter, I'm all bummed out... oh well, hopefully it's that moving... or maybe I'm just sick from reading it... and I'm not sure where the songbird/hawk thing came from, but it probably came from EVERY EFFING ANIME EVER CREATED! ...well, anyway... besides me cliche-ing this chapter, horribly, there's nothin' scheduled really at all... this fic probably won't have a happy ending and probably won't wrap up nice and tight like usual fics do. Why? Because this ISN'T the usual fic, people! I'm writing it TO this Cd, not writing the CD to the fic. well, anyway, later, people... and oh, before I forget to tell you, in case you haven't seen my bio page and don't know this, but the reason I'm not updating "The Demon's Reign" is because the third chapter isn't cooperating and the computer won't let me update or even open the file up. For right now, the fic is on hold while I try to figure out what to do, and I don't really want to retype it, but if I have to, I will as a last resort. I really liked the third chapter, I thought it was really, actually kind'a good... anyway, Ja ne! see ya next time!