Among the Stars

A/N: No, I did not forget where I left off, and the cliffhanger will be addressed in this chapter…:grin: you're just going to have to …piece it together a little.


Breathing in the putrid stench that he had long since become accustomed to, Lupin swallowed the Wolfsbane Potion, the last of it he would take before the moonrise. The liquid nauseated him the instant it entered his bloodstream, and it was all too easy to pinpoint that instant. He collapsed to a kneeling position, with one hand to the floor, supporting him. A dreadful tensing of his muscles confirmed what he already knew. It was time.

Lifting his eyes to the pale, gleaming orb, the image became reflected in Lupin's glassy gaze. The faintest whisper of a shadow clung to the edge of the Moon, but the frail substanceless thing held more ominous threat than anything he could feel or smell or taste, anything real and close enough, anything he could break. The hand still pressed to the floor began to curl into a fist, fingernails (claws?) scraping the wood with a sickening screech.

He clenched his teeth against the pain and thought his jaw would break. Not just break. Shatter. But that would be okay, because his body was broken anyway. A network of scars traced his entire frame, each one a reminder of sacrifice and discipline and restraint. If the potion was not enough, and he still could not stop the instincts, the brutal, animal instincts, then he took out his vicious hunt upon himself. Every last fiber of his being hoped that sacrifice was enough. It was nothing compared to what guilt and burden he would feel if his condition harmed or killed another. Or...sentenced them with the same ill fate.

The thoughts could never be borne long, but when they did manage to surface his conciousness, Lupin could not decide which would be worse: If he killed or merely bit another and inflicted them.

He knew others were here, against his wishes. Fear for them flared to life, but also a deeper, subtler emotion. It was not so intense, but at the same time it was almost more overwhelming. The shame and embarasment flooded him even as he was beginning to lose all ability to concieve what those emotions meant.

The shadow slid, slowly, imperceptibly, concealing another miniscule fraction of the moon in its smoothly gliding arc. Lupin bit his lip and felt the blood trickle down his chin. It had only just begun; surely it could not be so bad yet.

She was here, the wolf could smell her and would abide no dissuasion from pure observant truth. Beyond even forming a coherent shout, he let loose a cry of pain. Whether it stemmed more from the physical or emotional pain, Lupin could not tell.

A sudden brightness passed before his eyes, flashing twice and blinding him. His mind felt like it was working in slow motion.

"…my memory. I must have forgotten, the fall did something to my memory. I must have…"

His mind was stuck, echoing the same phrase like a broken record, replaying the same moment again and again. Then, as if finally bursting free it sped ahead, too quickly for words or anything but a fleeting impression.

The whole story. All I could remember. All I had forgotten. Snakes and mirrors and secret passageways. Too late to visit the hospital now, Tonks. Too late for me. And you've got duty. Watch duty for Harry. Constant…

Your beautiful face fell. I could do nothing. Not for you. Bill could. He took your watch. He offered. And you declined. Why? Don't let me burden you too. Go ahead. Just leave me behind. I'm sure I couldn't help anyway. My fault. Danger. My fault. There's dark magic after all... Something there.

Lupin writhed in pain and fell to his back on the floor. His eyes were open, but unseeing. He was lost in the pain and the memories. This time they were not full speed or slow motion or backwards or repeating.

"Sure did leave awfully quick, didn't she?" Sirius asked, watching Tonks follow Bill.

"I tend to have that effect on people once they find out that I turn into a monster once a month."

"So does half the population."

"I'm being serious."

"That's my job."

Exhausted and ill as he was, Lupin shoved his friend's arm playfully. "Will there ever be a day that everything is not a joke to you?"

"Haven't you heard the expression 'Let sleeping dogs lie?' " This time it was only half jest. It was Sirius's way of dealing with things, moving through each day. Yes, there were times when he was not laughing, and his anger got the better of him, but his sense of humor kept him on his feet. There was a long pause. "She doesn't care, Moony. That's not what's bothering her."

Lupin shrugged noncommittally, but was too drained to even attempt a smile.

"Am I going to have to start doing my own homework to find out what's going on here?" Sirius's eyes flickered from the door to Lupin and back again.

"Assignment number 1: learn to listen carefully. I told you all everything just a few moments ago."

A huge grin. "So you did. Told me all I need to know."

Lupin had an unsettling suspicion that they were having two very different conversations.

She was here, and the wolf was not content with being locked in a room. Or locked inside a human body, for that matter. He could hear her voice, and Sirius's.

The shadow swept a little further. Eight minutes had passed. Only one hour remaining. One hour until the fight would be over. He would transform under the full, unshadowed moon, and the potion would be effective after the eclipse had passed.

All he had to do was keep the wolf under control for one agonizing hour.


Siruis knew she'd be back before she did. Having no Order assignments to keep him busy, he had plenty of time to notice changes in his friends' behavior. Especially those as close as Lupin and Tonks. There was something about how easily they spoke to each other, how much time they'd been spending together, even though they had only recently met. Sirius couldn't yet be sure if it was anything more than friendship, but the thought had crossed his mind. And he found it didn't displease him.

In fact, he found the notion rather amusing and touching. But regardless of the presence (or possibly lack thereof) of any romantic inclination in their relationship, Sirius felt that Lupin and Tonks would be able to help each other. Merlin knew Lupin needed to allow himself a little more fun.

It came as no surprise when his cousin walked into the family room of the old Black house. Sirius couldn't resist provoking her in his typical, none-to-subtle manner. He decided to go for the "state the obvious" approach. "Thought you declined Bill on that offer to take over your watch."

"I did. But I told Bill as soon as we were out of earshot that I'd changed my mind. Only so Remus wouldn't know. He told me not to come."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I don't know why I'm here."

"Oh, I could take a wild guess."

Tonks glared at her cousin, eyes like ice. "Leaping to conclusions, are you?"

Sirius abruptly changed topics…and tactics. "You know, he doesn't want your pity."

"I don't…!" Tonks started indignantly, then tried again in a softer tone, "It's not pity, exactly." It was, on some level, but it was more complex than that. The feeling was too elusive and fragile to name, or to look at. A bubble on the verge of bursting if one just glanced at it askance. Sirius caught the turbulent jumble of emotions passing over her face and smirked triumphantly. Well, whatever it is, Tonks, I think you might be the only one who can help him.

The vanishing moonlight danced across the room, making eerie shadows. They dropped the present conversation, neither willing to venture forth from there. The moon would be gone soon and only darkness would be visible among the stars.

Sirius couldn't suppress a shudder at the faces that came surfacing in his mind as he recognized some of the stars and constellations. "Just being in this house again…" His face contorted in disgust. "Your mother was the only one I wasn't ashamed to call family."

Tonks exaggeratedly coughed and tapped her foot, feigning impatience. He rolled his eyes. "And you, of course." She took a mock bow, as if to say 'thank you'.

Her pink hair looked lavender in the half-light. "As much as I hate my name, I'm thankful my mother didn't continue the tradition of star names. No offense, Sirius."

"None taken. I try not to let it remind me of my connection to them…" He tried to think more of how it suited him, because it was the name of the dog star. But others in his family embodied their namesakes in a different sense. Bellatrix, for one. Unreachable, her bright fire so far away it was cold, but still entrancing to the point it could consume til all that was left was ashes.

There was a loud thump from the upper level. Tonks and Sirius looked at each other in alarm, each knowing the other was thinking the same thing. Lupin was the only other one currently at Grimmauld Place…

Sirius made a mad dash for the stairs, and Tonks was not far behind. In their haste, they scarcely noticed that Kreacher was also attempting to ascend the staircase and the dark haired wizard fell flat on his face. Tonks didn't have much time to put on the breaks and her balance was beyond recovery. She toppled next in an ungraceful heap.

"Foul beasts in this house. Dangerous, vicious, foul beasts. She wouldn't like this at all, and Kreacher can do nothing. He has been ordered by the filthy traitor he must call master to stay away. He will never be master. He shames his mother, his whole family, this house!" The house elf was muttering non-stop.

Torn between murderous rage and relief, Sirius let out a sharp, barking laugh. It had only been Kreacher trying to disobey orders. There was nothing to worry about. Lupin managed transformations every month, and though this one would be a little more difficult for the next 50 minutes, it was ridiculous to jump at every little thing.

Kreacher, lost in his own delusions of the way things should be, took advantage of the momentary confusion to grab Sirius's wand. Oh, if he couldn't find some way to rid the House of Black of these unwanted intruders. He was willing to risk anything. The wizards and witches that waltzed in and out as if they owned the place were plotting against everything the Black family had worked for. Oh, no, they would not be staying long if Kreacher had anything to say about it.

"Alohamora!" Kreacher cried, with desperation born of a twisted mind. A wicked gleam in the house-elf's eyes spoke of the pure hatred harbored and nursed for many years. Retaining a single-minded focus to his plan even amid the joy of his apparent success, Kreacher vanished. He was still in the house somewhere, because he was not allowed to leave. But the house-elf's self-assigned mission was accomplished.

The door swung open, Lupin still clutching the lock the wolf had been struggling to open. His amber eyes flashed with a feral, predatory brutality. Tonks couldn't even tell if he knew her. There wasn't the slightest hint of recognition. The full significance of Lupin referring to "the wolf" as a separate being registered in that instant. He was there somewhere, but he was not in control. The most frightening part was that he still looked like Lupin.

It pained Sirius to see his friend so fierce and aggressive and everything that defied his true self. He had witnessed many violent full moons at the Shrieking Shack, but always this predator was a wolf, it belonged to a different body. Now the lines were blurred; just how separate were Lupin and the wolf? Or were they even separate at all? Sirius hated himself for the moment of doubt but could not stop the thoughts.

Lupin coughed and clenched his jaw as tightly as he could manage. To prevent himself from growling, Tonks thought in a sudden wave of insight, overwhelmed by awe. This was the same man who insisted on calling her Nymphadora, whom she had played cards with this very morning when she couldn't sleep. And now this same man was eyeing her as the wolf's prey, no mercy in that relentless urge to hunt.

For one terrifying, endless moment, no one moved.

Then everything happened at once.


A/N: Don't kill me for this latest cliffhanger! I know it's a bit worse than the last one…but this was where my muse demanded the chapter be stopped.

Well? Are you liking this turn of events? And the possible dynamic it holds for Lupin and Tonks? Review, Review! I promise it helps get chapters up faster.

Alli-Baby:I hope your imagination can take a little more running…I hope the suspense is adding to the story and not merely being frustrating. Let me know, okay? Thanks as always for sticking with the story!

Emma Noble: More action! Still liking it? Thank you for the compliment, it always makes my day to know someone is actually enjoying something I wrote.

Duck Goddess:Oh, yes, Lupin and Tonks will have a few things to work through. I definitely plan to include all major instances in the books that would affect them (i.e., the battle and Sirius's death for OotP, the Werewolf assignment for HBP, etc). Two years is a while to work with, and they have their ups and downs just like everyone else. And as much as I want to yell at Remus for pushing her away, he wouldn't be Remus if he didn't have that kind of consideration for her safety above his own happiness.

Loziret: Thank you! It's always nice to hear 'original' because that's one of the hardest things to do (especially in fanfiction). I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

elfgirl/Manveri: I appreciate your feedback very, very much. I'm glad you think I have the characters right. I just love Lupin and Tonks so much I empathize with them and feel like I understand their reasoning and motives. But of course everyone has slightly different interpretations and views, so thanks for the compliment (I swear I'm practically dancing around the house after I read reviews). And you will not believe how happy I am that you commented about not "nit-picking and over-detailing" because I was worried about being too terse. I'm actually a very quiet person, so sometimes that carries over to my writing and I'm afraid I don't fully convey what I want to sometimes. Your review made me feel a lot better about that :D.

I love you all! Thanks for reading and reviewing.