Passing somewhere below the eye line of the average Middle Earth-dweller, a haggle of drunk gobbits – sorry, that's gaggle of hunky drobbits – or was it a droggle of gunk bobbits?
Anyway, several halflings rolled out of the Green Dragon public house.
(Whoa, what a night! Excuse me, I have to go and stick my head down a hobbit hole – preferably someone else's…)
Anyway, whatever they were, they came out of the pub and stumbled, tripped and generally staggered in the direction of their respective hobbit holes, despite the fact that they were separated from them by Bywater River, and thus likely to get wet. They got wet.
Having established the general wetness of their situation, they decided that this didn't really matter in the great scheme of things, and continued with their journey.
Before long it became evident that they were lost. Ever the one with a keen ability for making intelligent observations, Sam spoke up.
'We're lost.'
'I noticed,' growled Frodo. 'I'm just too drunk to care.' Unabashed, Sam decided to continue utilising his talent.
'There's a wall here,' he said, peeling himself away from it.
'Nice one,' said Pippin and Merry in perfect unison, rubbing sore noses.
'Ow, by dose,' said Frodo. 'Dat hurt!'
'There's a poster here too,' said Sam, on a roll now.
'Dat's really great,' said Frodo. 'Cad I wipe de blood ob by face wib id?'
'No,' replied Sam.
'I'b nod inderesded thed,' said Frodo, and he began a dramatic exit in the direction (he hoped) of home. It would have worked, had a tree not decided to grow where it had. It was, in Frodo's opinion, very unreasonable of it.
'Sdupid tree,'
'Getting back to this poster…'
'Whad about by dose?'
'Never mind your nose…'
'Well, excuse be, but I hab to. Id's by dose!'
'Tough!' Frodo began to reply, possibly sarcastically, but it was a little hard to tell. Whatever it was, it was lost as Merry, bored with the way the conversation was going and looking to try something new and exciting, thought it might be fun to smother him.
