Hello, and welcome to Fushigi Baskugi (Aka: Fushigi Yuugi and Fruits Basket together!) Me and my friend bubbles078 wrote this together, so I hope y'all enjoy this no da! Also, if any reviewers have questions, we'll get a random character to answer them after each chapter! Also, feel free to ask us any questions! Now, we have to get Tamahome to do our disclaimer.
Tamahome: Why do I have to do it?
Goldfish: Because we're making you do it
Bubbles: Don't worry, we'll pay you!
Tamahome: OKAY!
Miaka: Cheapskate...
Goldfish: Miaka, your not doing this yet!
Bubbles: It's Tamahome's turn!
Tamahome: What do I have to do?
Goldfish: Say the disclaimer!
Tamahome: What is it?
Bubbles: That we don't own any of the stories or characters from Fushigi Yuugi or Fruits Basket
Tamahome: Well there you go! I don't have to say it anymore... you just said it!
Goldfish: Jerk... anyway
Bubbles: Just say we aren't getting paid for this either
Tamahome: You just did... wait... WE'RE NOT!
Goldfish: Uh...no
Tamahome: I quit!
Bubbles: You can't do that, you're already in the story!
Tamahome: To bad (walks out)
Goldfish: Jerk... he'll be back...
Chapter 1: In Which Two Animes Go About Their Normal Lives Until One Screws It Up
"Stupid cat..." Yuki spat as he made a pot of leeks. "This will be the end for you!" He cackled evilly as he stirred the leeks slowly.
"What are you doing?" Tohru asked as she skipped into the kitchen with ten bags. Yuki turned with a evil glint in his eyes.
"Nothing, just making lunch..." He said casually, turning back to stir the leeks again. "Of Doom!" He said under his breath.
"Okay, can I have some?" Tohru asked politely as she put the bags down. Yuki sweatdropped. He couldn't give a lunch of DOOM to HER! He would never do that, not in a million years! He wouldn't even be alive in a 1,000,000 years!
"Um... NO you can't have any!" Yuki said.
"Why not?"
"Because... it's for my... um... pet..."
"Aww, really! Can I see him plea-"
"NOOOO!" Then he threw the spoon across the room." Miss Honda, I'm sorry."
"So, what kind of pet do you have?"
"Never mind that, are you okay?"
"Uh Yuki, the spoon didn't even come near me! You threw it the other way."
"Oh..."
"And it's stuck to the ceiling."
"I knew that..." Yuki said, blushing. Just then, Shigure walked in the room... RIGHT UNDER the spoon which was stuck to the ceiling. (Foreshadowing...)
"You are planning on cleaning this up, right Yuki?" Shigure asked, stopping directly under the spoon! We all know what happens next.
KLUNK
"OWWWWW!"
"Miss Honda, are you alright?" Yuki asked, rushing over to her. He pulled the spoon off her head. Yes, the spoon had changed directions at the last minute and landed on TOHRU'S HEAD!
"Is something burning?" Shigure asked!
"OH NO THE TEA!" Tohru screamed.
"You're not making any tea Miss Honda!" Yuki pointed out.
"Then it must be..."
"THE SOUP!"
They all ran in random directions because the soup's smell had them all disoriented. Finally Shigure ran out of the room shouting, "PELICANS ARE ATTACKING!" Yuki and Tohru stopped as soon as Shigure left.
"That's better," Tohru said, wiping sweat off her forehead. Yuki smiled and pulled out a random cloth to give to her.
"Here Miss Honda. Are you all right?"
"Oh I'm fine. Those Pelicans are really scary, huh?"
"Um, there weren't any pelicans Miss Honda..." Yuki said, wiping her forehead off.
"But Shigure said that-"
"Shigure is pervert who skipped collage... Therefore he doesn't know what he's talking about."
"OH MY GOD THAT'S TERRIBLE!"
"Yes, he is a school dropout but..."
"HE'S A PERVERT?" She screamed with her hands on her head. Yuki sweatdropped.
"You never realized that?" Yuki asked. Then he smelled the soup again. "Uh-oh..."
"What exactly are you making?" Tohru asked him, eyeing the soup suspiciously. It was boiling out of control and black smoke was billowing out of it.
"Er... lunch?" Yuki said. Apparently he had forgotten his inability to cook normally. Well, he did want a Lunch of Doom.
"Won't that kill your pet?" Tohru asked.
"My pet?" Yuki questioned. "OH! That pet. Um.. No, he'll be fine, He likes... burnt soup..." Yuki muttered under his breath. Darn... how am I gonna get out of this one?
"Really! That's amazing! When can I meet him?"
"Uh.. You can't... he has... amnesia. That's why he eats burnt soup." Yuki said, trying to convince her. Tohru looked ready to cry.
"Oh my gosh! We have to save him! Should I give him my "Life is Good" speech?"
"I don't think that's necessary Miss Honda." Yuki muttered under his breath. He put his hand to his head in frustration.
"Well, the least I can do is-"
"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT DAMN SMELL?" Yelled Kyo as he broke down the door. Tohru and Yuki stared as Kyo entered in his normal fashion... while swearing.
"It's soup for Yuki's pet!" Tohru responded happily. Kyo sweatdropped.
"Since when does rat boy have a pet?" He asked, fists clenched. His nose was twitching from the awful smell.
"Ever since he was little..." Tohru said dreamily. She was then surrounded by sparkles which made Kyo sneeze.
"I never said that!" Yuki said to Tohru. She didn't hear him because she was still off in La-La Land.
"Hell with it. Just leave me out of this whole thing!" Kyo said. Then he stormed off to hide in his own misery. That's what Kyo does. No one knows why.
"Um... Miss Honda, are you alright?" Yuki asked. Tohru didn't answer, she was still spacing out. Yuki sighed and put the lid on the pot and stuck it on a nearby tray. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the stuff, but he couldn't just dump it. Tohru would die if she found out his "pet" wasn't eating.
"And when they were seven, Yuki would always take his pet to the playground! They loved the slide the most!" Tohru dreamed happily to herself. Yuki shook his head and walked out of the room to hide the soup. He figured he would just hide it under his bed for now... until he figured out something better to do with it.
Meanwhile, far away in another century lived the citizens of Konan. But at Emperor Hotohori's Palace, it was a different story...
"TAMAHOME!" called a familiar voice from the garden. "Get back here you JERK!"
"No can do!" Tamahome called back to his pursuer. He cut across the garden (crushing several flowers in the process) and ran into the bushes.
"I'll KILL you Tamahome!" Tasuki called as he neared the garden which Tamahome had cut through. He was dripping wet and very angry. Pulling out his tessen, he prepared to attack. "REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled as the fire burnt the remaining living flowers to a crisp.
"You're gonna have to do better than that!" Tamahome called out as he ran away once again.
"Come back here and fight me like a man you coward!" Tasuki shouted and took off after him once again. He was not going to let Tamahome get away this time! After all, he got away nearly every other time...
Tamahome ran past the main gate of the palace and right past Nuriko, who was strolling around in a daze, dreaming to himself.
"Be careful Nuriko, Tasuki's on a rampage." Tamahome called out as he ran past. Nuriko snapped out of his daze and looked up just in time to see Tamahome once again disappear.
"Huh?" He said as Tasuki rounded the corner in mad pursuit.
"REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled again, throwing out more fire. Of course, by now, Tamahome was already gone, but Nuriko was still standing there and he caught the full flame right in the face.
"TASUKI YOU JERK!" He called when the fire burnt out. He stopped running when he saw Nuriko standing there, burnt to a crisp. He winced a bit at the scary sight that lay before him. After all, the wrath of Nuriko is a VERY scary sight indeed.
"Whoops, sorry Nuriko... didn't see you standing there." Tasuki said, taking a step backwards as Nuriko advanced on him. He hid his tessen behind his back and grinned innocently.
"You had better run before I..." Nuriko said as he took another step towards the terrified Tasuki.
"Before you what?" Tasuki squeaked.
"BEFORE I KILL YOU!" Nuriko screamed in his girlish Nuriko death scream. Then he grabbed the nearest tree out of the ground and started towards Tasuki with it raised above his head. Tasuki didn't have to think twice. He was out of there before you could say "no da"!
Meanwhile, Tamahome had come out of hiding and started walking up to the palace. He stopped short when he heard high pitched screams ringing through the air.
"What the..." Tamahome muttered to himself as Tasuki turned the corner at full speed. He looked a bit panicked. A second later, Nuriko came running, holding a huge tree.
"YOU! This is ALL your fault!" Tasuki said as he neared Tamahome.
"It is not!" Tamahome said back in defense. He was referring to the wrath of Nuriko. But Tasuki didn't think anything of it. He pulled out his tessen once again and,
"REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled as a burst of fire broke loose and singed the top of Tamahome's head.
"DON'T GO BLAMING THIS ON ANYONE ELSE!" Nuriko yelled as Tamahome's hair caught fire. Tamahome figured it would be best to start running now.
"Tasuki, what did you do to him?" Tamahome yelled back as they ran through the garden (of ashes) again.
"Nothing..." Tasuki said, which was not true by any means. It's not good to lie, Tasuki. It only leads to more lies!
"Yeah sure, no really, what did you do to him?" Tamahome yelled again as a large tree just missed his head. (Which was STILL on fire!)
"Uh, are you going to do anything about that?" Tasuki asked Tamahome about his hair, which was turning blacker by the second.
"Oh, right!" Tamahome said as he rounded on the pond in the garden.
"You've gotta be kidding me?" Tasuki muttered to himself as Tamahome ran towards the rocks bordering it. He had just dried off and now he'd have to jump in again! It was either that or be killed by a tree and a cross-dresser! Tasuki chose water and followed Tamahome to the pond with Nuriko hot on his trail.
"IF YOU JUMP IN THAT POND, I'LL HURT YOU EVEN MORE!" Nuriko yelled as he chased Tasuki to the bank.
"I though you were going to kill me anyway?" Tasuki called back as Tamahome jumped into the pond. He stayed submerged for a bit before coming up. When he did, his hair was much shorter and a bit blackened from the flames. It also had a bit of seaweed that got caught in it, which he plucked out and threw at Tasuki.
Tasuki meanwhile, had stopped a few inches from the back and prepared to jump in after Tamahome.
"Just a few deep breaths... you can do this, you can... ACK!" He sputtered as a clump of seaweed hit him in the face. He lost his balance and fell in face first, hit his head on a seashell at the bottom and got knocked out for a moment. However, it didn't bother Nuriko that Tasuki was on the verge of drowning right before his eyes. He stormed into the pond after them, determined to beat Tasuki to a pulp!
Now, a few yards away was our favorite monk, Chichiri, who was quietly fishing just like he always did every morning. But this morning seemed different to him. Perhaps it was the terrified screams and war-like yells that made him think this. He took his eyes off his motionless fishing line and looked to his left. And what did he see? He saw Tamahome in the middle of the pond with only half his hair and laughing hysterically. He saw a figure below the water that greatly resembled Tasuki, which was lying face down on the bottom. And he also saw an enraged Nuriko with a tree in his hand.
"No da?" Chichiri muttered in question to himself. He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his still motionless fishing line. Nuriko seemed to be REALLY angry at the time, so Chichiri decided not to get mixed up in any of it. However, he soon would have no choice in this matter.
"Tasuki, wake up!" Tamahome said, kicking Tasuki underwater. Normally, this would have no effect, but for this story's purpose, it roused Tasuki at once.
"Where am I?" He asked in a dazed voice.
"YOU'LL BE LONG GONE IN A SECOND!" Nuriko yelled as he swung the tree around above his head and brought it crashing down mere centimeters from Tasuki's head.
"You trying to kill me, woman?" Tasuki asked as Nuriko glared at him and proceeded to raise the tree again.
"YOU'RE DARN RIGHT I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU!"
Meanwhile, Chichiri was still fishing quietly, trying to ignore the screams and random tree trunks swinging out of nowhere. But he seriously considered leaving if this kept up. And it showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.
"Won't they ever be quiet no da?" Chichiri muttered to himself as he stood up and reeled in his line to leave. However, just as he stood up, the tree came swinging his way, forcing him to duck. "Watch it no da!" He said as Nuriko lost his grip on the tree and let it fall inches from where Chichiri was standing.
"NO DA!" Chichiri screamed in shock as he watched the tree fall into the water. A few seconds later, Nuriko grabbed it again and proceeded to pick it up.
Now Chichiri would of left at that moment (And later he'll realize this himself) but something stopped him. His fishing line was caught on something underwater. He stopped to stare at it. Had he actually caught something? Amazing, he never caught anything before, and this one seemed REALLY big. A bit too big in fact. For as the tree rose out of the water and swung back towards Tamahome and Tasuki, Chichiri realized he had hooked a branch on the tree.
"NO DAAAAAAA!" He yelled as he was pulled into the air along with his fishing pole. He chose to hold on or else he would be thrown who knows how far.
At this time, Tamahome saw someone who might be able to help him. Mitsukake was strolling around looking for Tama-neko, his cat. But he was having no luck.
"MITSUKAKE, BUDDY!" Tamahome yelled from the pond. Mitsukake turned around to see who had yelled and almost fainted at the sight of a half bald Tamahome! (A scary sight indeed)
"T-Tamahome?" Mitsukake said incredulously as he watched the 'thing' crawl out of the pond.
"Hey Mitsukake, can you heal this?" He asked motioning to his head, which was wet, burnt and half bald. Also, Tamahome kept randomly coughing up pond water and little fish.
"Stay away from me you freak!" Mitsukake whimpered as he turned to run.
"But were pals! Won't you help me?"
" I'm NOT affiliated with you!" He yelled as he took off. As he was running, he saw Tama-neko and ran towards him, causing Tama-neko to run away too.
"What are you talking about? HEAL ME!" Tamahome yelled as he ran off after Mitsukake.
"Oh no! You're are NOT getting away that easily!" Tasuki yelled as he pulled out his tessen and climbed out of the pond in pursuit of revenge!
"GET BACK HERE YOU JERK!" Nuriko screamed and climbed out after Tasuki, tree still in hand. And because Chichiri was clinging to his fishing line for dear life and the line was caught on the tree, he was forced to follow.
"Please stop No da! I wish to LIVE NO DA!" Chichiri called out as he hit the ground and was dragged through the garden of ashes against his will. Nuriko however, didn't hear the monk's pleas of mercy and continued running after Tasuki. In fact, Nuriko probably didn't even notice Chichiri at all because he was so strong. Dead weight doesn't affect strong people like Nuriko! At this time, Chichiri had started praying to Suzaku that he would come out of this alive.
And now... we return to modern day Japan. (Without the assistance of a time machine!)
Yuki walked out of his room, wiping his forehead. He had just successfully hidden the soup against his will. It was now under his bed... making his whole room smell of burning leeks and smoke. Needless to say, Yuki wouldn't be getting any surprise visits from Kyo for awhile. Needless to say, Kyo never visited Yuki anyway.
"And then Yuki had to put the poor little thing to rest, so he did the only thing he could. He hit it on the hear with a pitchfork!" Tohru sniffed. She was still in the kitchen making up some bizarre fantasy about a non-existent pet. Yuki sighed and walked away.
"Ah Yuki, did you finish lunch?" Shigure asked as he walked into the room. Yuki face vaulted.
"Um... no, Kyo ate it all." Yuki lied.
"Well, that was rude!" Shigure commented. He sighed and stroked his chin like the great novelist that he was. "Well, tell Tohru not to make him anything else. He's probably full."
"Okay... I will." Yuki said with a little smile. Now Kyo was getting NO lunch. Perhaps his little plan would take effect after all! He laughed to himself. Shigure stared.
"Yuki, you're not on anything, are you?" Shigure asked when he saw Yuki laughing maniacally to himself. Yuki stopped, stared at Shigure and walked out of the room without saying anything.
"I'll go check his room later." Shigure said to himself. Then he picked up the paper and started reading. There was a history section on ancient China this week! Shigure smiled and read on, not once wondering why a newspaper without a history section would suddenly have one.
Meanwhile, Kyo was in his room, plugging his nose. That awful smell was coming right down the hall to his room.
"If I live, I'm gonna kill that damn rat!" Kyo muttered as he put his head under a pillow. It didn't work. The smell was so strong, it burnt the pillow! Kyo sat up with a handful of ashes and held his breath wondering what to do. Suddenly, it hit him! He would go to his retreat!
Shigure was still reading about Ancient China. He laughed when he read the part involving constellations.
"Who comes up with this weird stuff?" he asked himself as he shook his head in disbelief. He swore he would eat himself if the day ever came in which he met someone named Tamahome! Even so, he continued reading the bogus article.
Tohru was still describing the after life of the non-existent pet.
By now, Kyo had found his retreat! He was now sitting peacefully on the roof of the Sohma house, smiling. It was perfect! That smell would never reach him up here! It was a foolproof plan. And he sat there, thinking to himself just how much he hated rats and leeks. And even more, how much he hated rats EATING leeks!
"Lunch is ready!" A familiar voice called out. It seemed Tohru had finally come to her sense and cooked lunch. Kyo jumped off the roof instantly. After all, he was STARVED!
"Ah, lunch looks delicious!" Yuki commented when he saw the feast Tohru had prepared.
"Uh-huh, I made it all in honor of your pet!" Tohru exclaimed happily. Yuki sweatdropped.
"You have a pet, Yuki?" Shigure asked out of curiosity. Yuki sweatdropped again.
"It's a long story."
"Oh, okay then." Shigure said. Then he went back to reading about Ancient China. He was reading the part explaining the Suzaku No Miko! He chuckled upon reading this.
"Shigure, aren't you going to eat anything?" Tohru asked, looking a bit hurt. Shigure nodded his head and picked up one chopstick and proceeded to stick it in his mouth. He didn't even bother putting the paper down... or putting food on the chopstick. Even so, it made Tohru happy.
"Alright, lunch is ready! I'm starved!" Kyo said when he entered the room.
"But Kyo, I thought you weren't hungry." Tohru said. And sure enough, there wasn't a place set for Kyo.
"Who the hell told you that?" Kyo demanded. Yuki put his head down and said nothing.
"Yuki said you already ate!" Shigure said, gnawing on a chopstick and STILL reading the paper.
"Really? Yuki told me you were going on a diet!" Tohru exclaimed. Kyo balled his hands into fists in fury.
"Why the hell would I be on a diet!" He practically yelled. Tohru looked as if she was going to cry.
"Well, what did you eat for lunch then?" Tohru asked, holding back tears.
"NOTHING!"
"But Yuki said you ate that soup he made." Shigure said, finally looking up from the paper.
"WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EAT THAT CRAP!" Kyo screamed. Tohru's hair got blown back.
"You really think my food is that bad?" Tohru said through the lump in her throat.
"I didn't mean your food! I meant HIS!" Kyo yelled, pointing towards Yuki. Yuki didn't move an inch. "You heard me! I know it's you, you damn rat!"
"Wait, are you saying you DIDN'T eat the soup?" Shigure asked. The fight was keeping him from reading the paper.
"NO! WHY WOULD I EAT THAT CRAP?" Kyo yelled in fury. This time it blew Tohru right over on to the floor.
"Then where is the soup?" Shigure asked.
"Yuki gave it to his pet!" Tohru said, wiping her tears away. This idea made her extremely happy.
"SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A PET?" Both Shigure and Kyo yelled at the same time. Yuki sweatdropped and got up to leave.
"I'm not hungry." he said, then left. Both Kyo and Shigure watched him leave with strange expressions. Tohru hung her head glumly.
"I don't blame him. I wouldn't be hungry either if my pet was suffering from stomach ulcers and athlete's foot." Tohru said sadly. Shigure and Kyo looked at each other in disbelief.
"Whatever, I'm out of here!" Kyo said. Then he left to go back on to the roof and concoct a way to finally beat Yuki! Shigure continued reading the paper and gnawing on a chopstick and Tohru sat in misery, trying to figure out a way to save the non-existent pet.
Kyo went back on to the roof, still muttering stuff about diets to himself. He sat down and sighed. It was then he noticed the smell.
"DAMMIT!" He yelled and plugged his nose. Then the roof collapsed because the smell had weakened the rafters holding it up. Kyo and the roof came crashing through the house and there was much more swearing.
Meanwhile, there was still a mad Seishi chase going on in another century...
While all this was happening, Chiriko had decided to take a short stroll outside. Bad idea Chiriko, I thought you were the smart one here. Did the character on your foot disappear or something? Actually, it had. That was the reason Chiriko was out here in the first place. He couldn't study if he didn't know anything!
As Chiriko was walking, he heard a small meow. It was TAMA-NEKO! But why was Mitsukake's cat running and looking so frightened? (Wouldn't you be frightened if a bunch of mad seishi were running after you, especially if one had a TREE!) But Chiriko didn't have time to ponder an answer, because 1) His brain had stopped functioning and 2) Tama-neko jumped into his arms at that time.
"What the..." Chiriko said as he saw a dust cloud getting nearer and nearer. As it got closer and closer, Chiriko could see that it was a herd of maddened seishi coming straight for HIM!
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Nuriko's voice rang from the cloud of mass terror. Of course, Chiriko thought this was directed at him so he ran too.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAA!" He cried, still holding Tama-neko. This caused Mitsukake to run after Chiriko as he didn't watch to lose sight of his cat. This led Tamahome to follow and so on and so forth. So now we have a whole line of seishi's trying to catch each other. (Aside from Nuriko, he's actually trying to KILL someone...)
Wow, now all we need is Hotohori and were all set. Speaking of which, it was at this time Hotohori decided to step outside for a bit of fresh air. Man, that guy has bad timing!
"What on earth is that?" Hotohori asked himself as he felt the ground shake because of the approaching seishi. He soon found out.
"They're trying to kill me!" Chiriko yelled as he ran past the Emperor crying. As he did, he splashed some dirt on the Emperor due to the fact that Hotohori was standing right next to the BIGGEST MUD PUDDLE KNOWN TO HUMANITY! (He should know better) Of course, because he was so shocked by Chiriko, he didn't move.
Next came Mitsukake, chasing after Tama-neko and Chiriko.
"I'm NOT, I'm NOT! Leave me alone you DEMON!" (Ha-ha) Mitsukake yelled as he ran past the Emperor in terror, splashing even more mud on him. Hotohori watched him run past and once again was shocked.
"Why won't you heal me!" Tamahome called out with his arms outstretched. He still had a fish on his shoulder and he still had only half his hair, so you can imagine how scared Hotohori was by this sight.
"What is that thing?" He said to himself as Tamahome(?) ran past him. And yes, he splashed even more mud onto him.
"I"M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!" Tasuki called after Tamahome. "REKKA SHINEN!" He yelled and fired it in Tamahome's direction. Of course he missed because he was still a bit dazed from being knocked out by a seashell and instead of hitting Tamahome, it hit the muddle puddle. And you can guess where all that mud landed, right? That's right, HOTOHORI! (Poor guy) Of course, he was STILL to shocked to move even an inch, so he just stood there.
"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!" Nuriko called out as he came sprinting with a tree above his head. (So that's where that tree went! Hotohori had noticed they were missing a tree.) Hotohori watched as Nuriko ran past, splashing more mud on to him. He also had to duck so he wouldn't get hit by the tree.
"LET ME GO NO DA!" Chichiri called out as he tried to stand up. Instead he started spinning around and landed head first into the mud puddle, splashing Hotohori AGAIN!
"Sorry your majesty no da!" He called out as he was dragged away. Hotohori stared as the mud covered monk was dragged away.
"Wow..." Hotohori said to himself. Now that all the commotion had ceased, he finally got the chance to look at himself. And much to his dismay, he found he was completely covered with MUD!
"AAAARGGGGHHHHH!" He yelled and pulled out his sword! "Someone will die for this!" He yelled and ran after the rest of the Suzaku seven. Now they were all chasing each other!
At this time, their savior was just stepping outside to look for her love, TAMAHOME! (bad idea) Yes, it was MIAKA to the rescue. Not that she knew she was going to be rescuing anyone so early in the morning. (Tis the life of a Miko) She would be even MORE surprised to find she was rescuing her seishi from THEMSELVES!
"Miaka they are trying to KILL ME!" Chiriko yelled as he jumped into Miaka's arms for protection. At this time, Tama-neko jumped to the ground and took his seat beside Miaka, as if this was his plan all along. (But we all know that's impossible)
"Who's trying to kill you?" Miaka asked.
"They are!" Chiriko said and pointed towards the giant dust cloud that was advancing.
"Miaka, are you alright?" Mitsukake said as he stopped in front of her. "You look shocked, do you need me to heal you?" He said, out of breath.
"No, I'm fine." She said. By now, she had fallen to the ground in shock.
"No Mitsukake, heal your BEST FRIEND!" Tamahome called out, arms still outstretched. Mitsukake's eyes widened, but he didn't run. He couldn't leave the priestess with that... THAT THING!
"Tamahome? Is that you?" Miaka asked the 'thing'.
"Yes it is my love." He said romantically.
"Oh Tamahome, I almost died and you came to save me! I LOVE YOU!" She yelled.
"AND I LOVE YOU!" Tamahome said. The two of them got lost in each others eyes, which were all sparkling and shining! Mitsukake just stared and Chiriko was still crying.
"REKKA SHINEN!" A familiar voice called out as a blast of fire shot out from Tasuki's tessen. It was headed right towards Miaka.
"Miaka, I'll save you..." Tamahome said as he lunged in front of the flame.
"Tamahome, NOOOO!" Miaka screamed as the one she loved got burnt to a crisp. Then Tamahome's demon symbol appeared in a flash of red light.
"So it is you, Tamahome!" Mitsukake said as he watched the 'thing' get fried.
"Tamahome, say something to me!" Miaka sobbed as she watched Tamahome get up from the ground.
"I- I'm okay..." He said, brushing himself off.
"He deserved it!" Tasuki accused as he stopped in front of Miaka. He put his tessen away.
"What are you talking about? He's TAMAHOME! He's never deserved anything like this!" Miaka screamed. And then, just as she was wishing for something really BAD to happen to Tasuki, something really bad happened to Tasuki!
"GOT YOU!" Nuriko said as the tree he had been running around with for the past half hour FINALLY made contact with Tasuki's head.
"WHAT DID YA DO THAT FOR!" Tasuki yelled after being clobbered.
"You deserved it after you FRIED me with that fan!" Nuriko accused. Then he tossed the tree aside.
"NO DA! Let me go no da!" Chichiri yelled as he was flung aside with the tree. (Remember, he never let go.)
"Was that Chichiri?" Miaka asked, getting up to investigate.
"Miaka, don't leave me!" Tamahome called out to her.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." Miaka said, returning to her love's side.
"Where did you come from?" Nuriko asked when he saw the 3 foot monk half buried under a massive tree. He moved it off of him and Chichiri proceeded to get up.
"You've been dragging me around for awhile now no da. It was VERY painful no da." He said, trying to straighten his hair, which was blown back.
"Oh, er, sorry about that." Nuriko said.
"Don't worry about it no da. Although I suggest you hide now no da." The monk suggested as he ducked behind the tree. He would have disappeared into his kasa, but he lost it while he was being dragged through the palace grounds.
"Why do we need to hide?" Tasuki asked as he watched the monk hide in terror. But he need not have asked for at that moment, who should come running up, but the MUD COVERED HOTOHORI! And he was MAD!
"Whoever did this to me shall die!" He said, flourishing his sword high above his head (Much like Nuriko was doing with that tree moments before.) "WELL, which one of you was it?" He yelled again.
All the seishi looked at him nervously, for Hotohori at MAXIMUM rage was a very scary thing indeed. Even scarier than Nuriko's maximum rage... and that's saying something.
"Please Hotohori, they didn't mean it!" Miaka said, tears coming to her eyes and she attempted to save her seishi from her seishi. "Let them live. Won't you do that for me?"
"Miaka, I..." Hotohori said as he dropped his sword. "I'm sorry. If you don't want them to die, then they won't."
"Good, now that that's settled, can we get breakfast? I'm starved!" Miaka said, brushing away her fake tears. All the of the seishi sweat-dropped. Typical Miaka.
"Sure, let's go eat." Tamahome said, coming to Miaka's side. Their eyes started to sparkle again.
"Belch, if you two don't cut that out, I'm gonna hurl!" Tasuki said to the two lovebirds. Of course, they paid no attention to him and continued walking.
"So Tamahome, how did all of that start?" Miaka asked him out of curiosity.
"I'm not sure. All the sudden Tasuki stated chasing me. I guess it all started from there." Tamahome said innocently.
"Quit playing around! You know darn well you pushed me into that pond!" Tasuki accused.
"Are you accusing ME of doing that?" Tamahome said as he turned to face Tasuki. "I did no such thing in my life."
LIAR!" Tasuki said as he reached back for his tessen.
"Now wait a minute, if Tamahome said he didn't, then he must be telling the truth!" Miaka said, defending her love from fire. Tamahome smiled at her.
"Well, if he didn't, then who did?" Hotohori asked the rest of them. The seishi were silent.
"Meow." Tama-neko said from the sidelines. All the seishi looked down at the innocent cat and sweat-dropped. It had been Tama-neko the WHOLE time? Never, I repeat NEVER, underestimate cats! (Especially this one!)
Back to our roof predicament in modern day Japan...
"Oh My Gosh! Kyo are you alright?" Tohru asked when Kyo and the roof landed at her feet. Kyo got up, grumbling to himself.
"Does it look like I'm alright!" he said to her. Tohru was near crying again.
"You're going to have to fix that!" Shigure commented when he heard the crash. Then it sunk in and he went to go see what happened! "KYO! MUST YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING!" Shigure yelled when he saw the state of his house. He put down the paper and ran to the phone. Ancient China would have to wait, this was urgent! He called the "Fixing Roofs Is Our Specialty" company.
"Hello." an old man said on the other line.
"Hello, I need your help right away!" Shigure said to him.
"Have too much snow on your roof?" He asked.
"No..." Shigure said.
"Did your roof collapse due to the smell of burnt soup and a cursed teen?" He asked.
"No. wait..." Shigure paused and sniffed the air. "YES!"
"We'll be right over." He said and hung up. A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door.
"That was quick." Shigure said as he went to let them in. Maybe they had one of those kesa robes like in Ancient China! He let them in and they got right to work.
Meanwhile, in the Konan Palace...
"Now then, I've been meaning to tell you that we are going to have a visitor later on today." Hotohori told the seishi. They all sweat dropped.
"Who's coming no da?" Chichiri asked.
"Um... a... I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise!" Hotohori said with a little laugh. All the seishi glared at him.
"Well, when are they coming?" Tamahome asked.
"Hey, where's Tasuki and Nuriko?" Hotohori asked. Chichiri pointed outside to the pond. Sure enough, Nuriko had thrown him in and was torturing him again. The Seishi burst out into a fit of giggles as they watched Tasuki struggle to stay alive and dodge sticks at the same time.
10 minutes later
"So, who's the visitor no da?" Chichiri asked again. The others nodded in agreement.
"And if I'm not mistaken, our visitor should be here in the quarter after the next hour. However, if the prevailing winds were to take a slight break and pick up a centimeter due east, the time could vary between 1 to 2 hours at the most. I suspect it won't be a problem for them if they leave two minutes earlier though." Chiriko said helpfully out of nowhere.
"Uhhh..." They all said, wondering what in the heck he just said.
"You got your character back no da?" Chichiri asked.
Precisely!" Chiriko said happily. "I determined that if I were to get it just 1/10 of a millisecond of a normal second I would not have figure it out. But if you use the Pythagorean theorem plus a change purse, it's all quite-"
"Okay, you can stop now!" Tamahome said, looking out the window to see if Tasuki had drowned yet. He was still flailing around. Nuriko was poking him with a stick now and then too.
"So Chiriko, do you know who the visitor is no da?" Chichiri asked the smart seishi. Chiriko thought to himself for a bit, pondering. The other seishi watched him stand there, waiting. Except for Tamahome, he was laughing at Tasuki.
"After much thought and consideration, I have come to my final conclusion!" Chiriko said dramatically.
"And?" Hotohori asked, even though he already knew who it was going to be.
"I haven't the slightest idea!" Chiriko said, rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed way. The other seishi fainted.
"I thought you were supposed to be SMART!" Tamahome said after he got up from the floor. He hit his head pretty good too.
"What do you think I am? Some kind of genius!" Chiriko asked in an offended way.
"YES!" They all shouted at once. Chiriko blushed and smiled.
"Well, I guess we should fish Tasuki out of the pond now." Hotohori suggested as the rest of the seishi recovered.
"I know who the visitor is no da!" Chichiri said happily. "It's Seiryu, right no da?"
"Um... yeah.. I'm pretty sure." Hotohori said. Then it all sunk in.
"SEIRYU!" They all yelled at once. Then they fainted and Chichiri went to find his missing kasa and help Tasuki.
"How long does it take to fix a roof?" Yuki asked. The repairmen were inspecting the damage and getting supplies out.
"What is that for?" Kyo asked when they took out a big metal shovel.
"This is to hit anyone who gets in our way!" The repairman said. The Sohma's all took a few steps back and sweatdropped.
"There it is no da!" Chichiri said, spying his kasa under a fallen tree. He snapped his fingers and the tree rolled over, revealing a very beaten up kasa lying in the mud. He picked it up and noticed blue electricity coming out of it every now and them. One of them hit his hand.
"Ow no da!" He said, massaging his hand. "It must have short circuited." He said, inspecting it further. Who would have though Chichiri's kasa was an electronic ahead of it's time!
About a half and hour later, the roof was fixed. This company was known for it's fast work!
"However can we thank you?" Tohru asked when the roof was finished. The repairman held out his hand.
"You can pay us!" He said. Tohru sweatdropped and smiled.
"Thanks for saving me!" Tasuki said. He had just been saved from the Pond of Death and was now sitting on the palace floor.
"No problem." Hotohori told him. "It's our duty a Celestial Warriors."
"And it's our duty to summon Seiryu!" A familiar voice called out from the doorway.
"IT'S SEIRYU!" The Suzaku Seven screamed!
"You won't get away this time!" Tomo laughed. "KAKAKAKAKAKA!"
"Dude, that is creepy." Nuriko commented.
"You aren't still mad about last night are you?" Hotohori asked.
"Shut up!" Soi shouted.
"It was just for fun!" Tasuki said. Sure, it had been kinda mean, but it was funny when everyone came running out because of the smell, screaming like little girls. Besides, it had been Tamahome's idea to set off stink bombs there in the first place.
"Everyone, into the hat na no da!" Chichiri shouted and threw his hat on to the floor. He completely forgot it had short circuited.
"Your not getting away that easily!" Nakago yelled. Then the Seiryu Seven and the Suzaku Seven and their Miko's all dove for the hat at the same time!
"Well, it sure cost a lot, but it looks great!" Shigure commented and looked at the roof.
"I'm shocked they did it so fast!" Tohru said.
"They even got rid of the smell!" Kyo yelled.
"What was that?" Yuki said. The four of them stopped to listen. Sure enough, they could here the wind pick up and then there was a small BANG! A second later, 16 people from Ancient China fell right through the newly fixed roof.
"DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN!" Kyo yelled when he saw the roof in pieces once again. Shigure face vaulted and Yuki and Tohru sweatdropped as the mass of foreign people struggled to get up.
AN: Well... there ya go. Chapter 1... the longest chapter in the WORLD! (unless y'all can prove us otherwise... it IS!) we don't have any questions now but we'll answersome next chapter... you can send your questions to... TAMAHOME!
Tamahome: I AM NOT DOING IT!
Bubbles: Yes you are.
Tamahome: What's the point... I'm not getting paid
Goldfish: Yes you are.
Bubbles: If you don't, Miaka... will... um... die. Yes..um.. she'll die.
Tamahome: MIAKA!
Goldfish: But since you don't wanna do it...we'll get...
Tamahome: MIAKA!
Bubbles: Okay! We'll have Miaka answer questions!
So stay tuned for the next chapter and send your questions to Miaka! (Tamahome faints)
