Knights in Slaying Service V Author: Tohonomike Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners. Joss/ME characters especially not mine. I do not and cannot make money off of this, but for feedback, I might come up with something more/better.

Nordstrom's, Los Angeles, 3:30PM

"Okay, I finally called Rupert," Alexander told his two girlfriends as they came out of the store and out into the food court where he sipped coffee, "It seems Angel and Buffy managed to have an eventful evening, him getting beaten up and oozed on by a demon." The young man smirked.

"But they're okay?" Willow asked with a less mousey show of concern than normal, adjusted her clothes, and at his nod continued, "Good, so do we need to go back or anything?"

"No, not yet," he replied, "How about we find ourselves a place I won't have to dress up for, eat and then get back." He sighed.

"What is it Lex?" Cordelia asked, using the new nickname for the new hunk and placing a hand on his wrist.

"It's just I feel the need to make it up to Rupert for hitting him last night, he said he understood and forgives…"

"He's Giles, since it was his old buddy, I'm sure he doesn't blame you," Cordy continued, "And, hey, when did you stop calling him Giles or something annoying?"

"I just…grew up a bit…and realized he was someone I really did respect, and after getting that feeling of respect over the summer, I guess I've just fallen into a good habit, Sunburst."

"Wow," Willow and Cordelia added, "We liked you the way you were, but you're incredible the way you are now." Willow nodded along, adjusting her unfamiliar wardrobe again.

"Anyway," he continued, "I told him we would come by around eight, apparently Buffy's making Angel go to her mom's for dinner and see if he can pass muster."

Warehouse District, Sunnydale, 7:30PM

"Finally, one of you that knows something," the vampire spat dismissively as he ripped off the head of the minion called Dalton, "Soon I'll see my family again."

SHS Library, 8PM

"Wow," Jenny voiced as she saw Willow and Cordelia enter the building well-dressed in high-end fashionable leather skirts and silk blouses, and each on the arm of a very muscular leather-clad Alexander Harris. The others turned, considering for themselves in their own way the noteworthy sight. While not nearly as large as the previous night, the girls' hair was more under control, having been conditioned and subdued into braids, while Lex had chosen to simply tie it back into a single ponytail.

"Rupert," Xander began, walking up to his mentor, "I still want you to know I'm sorry about last night."

"I-It's alright, Xander," the Watcher assured him, patting him on his substantial back, "Though I take it from your appearance that there is at least an echo remaining from last night's adventures?"

"Yeah, more than a bit, and not just the fashion sense," he replied, taking one of the seats offered to the three.

"How's that Xander?" Joyce Summers asked with concern, "Rupert and Buffy were able to explain things from their points of view, but that still leaves what happened after you reached Ethan's."

"I became Snake Plissken, roughed up a few vampires, had a few drinks, and then ran into the girls. It was getting late, so we headed over to the Hilton, got a suite using Ethan's money, decided over breakfast we were friends, and went to LA."

"So you were Kurt Russell?" Jenny asked, her and Joyce both looking intrigued, "Got the cobra tattoo?"

"Does he ever…" Cordelia smirked, Willow growing crimson, "And it goes all the way around his…waist." Xander rolled his eyes as the women looked at Xander for a moment then smiled.

"No, Kurt Russell was the actor that played Snake, but you have to remember, I was Snake, handsome merciless near-sociopathic mercenary…though that medallion did a number on me." He stopped, somewhat quiet as he considered how to continue.

"You mean the werewolf controlling one that became a tattoo?" Buffy asked. Giles' eyes widened at the revelation.

"Good Lord, Xander!" the man exclaimed, "how has that affected you?"

"Well, it felt like being the Hyena again for a minute, but the medallion burned itself into me and suddenly I was Hunky-Xander with the strength and everything, but no spirit around anymore. My face paint was on fire for a minute, and…"

"Good Lord!"

"Whoa…"

"What?" Xander asked as they stared at his face, then shook their heads.

"Xander," Joyce spoke first, "When you were concentrating on telling us about your face paint, it seemed to come out of your pores and there your mask was again…"

"Hmm, cool," he replied, then thought about the exposed areas of his body, realizing that he might just be able to control it with practice, "I guess I don't change into a Hyena, but the medallion left me being able to change to look the Hyena-Me I was dressed as…nice." He wiggled his eyebrows at his girlfriends, shifting their feelings from concern to interest in a heartbeat.

"Yes, quite," Giles added with a thoughtful look, "Do you recall anything else?"

"Yeah, the Snake tattoo expanded to where it is, and the armor, which was supposed to look like black snakeskin, tried to move all over my body until the medallion zapped it back. The tattoo got itself started pretty quick, though. The hair is all mine, chest and head, my teeth are perfect but luckily human. Skill-wise, I'm like super black ops guy as well as suddenly having most of the skills and talents of all KISS members, but not Live-Boy's." Angel and others smiled at the reference to the new 'drummer.'

"That's, er, quite a lot, especially as the others haven't experienced such drastic changes."

"Could be a result that even though I added some stuff as a costume, most of my stuff was real, guns, greasepaint I'd worn before, guitar from Dad strummed before…and since I became a version of myself more than the others…"

"Only the specific personality controls really left when the magic ended. Fascinating."

"And I now have two girlfriends…so I'm quite happy."

"Hmm, I think while we have everyone here, we should test out skills and abilities," Giles urged, "Xander and, er, Buffy, why don't you warm up a little and see where Xander is, then we'll see what Angel has physically retained from his time as a vampire."

"Okay, sounds good enough," Xander said getting up, then turned as he overheard Cordelia whispering to Willow about skills 'First-Star' had used at the motel. He looked to see Willow turning a deep red and laugh, then Buffy look wide-eyed at the two young women. "That's just the tip of it, Buff," he whispered with a smile as he walked by her to the training area.

Xander removed his boots, leather vest, coat and weapons, then looked at his black leather pants. He looked up at Giles, smirked, and the skintight pants shrunk up his legs to just above the knee, tightened to fit around his pelvis and manly parts more comfortably.

"I forgot that these seem to be able to expand and contract. The normal way is the two-piece like it was as a costume, except only one piece, but I can spread it almost all over but it's thinner that way," and he made it seem like a painted coating all over except over the chest tattoo, "or I can make it as small as a thick belt as strong as all get out if I make it line up with the tattoo, but I'm so not showing you that. And it seems at all times at least part of it has to touch the tattoo for it to work. Oh, and I seem to lose the top layer of skin somewhere, along with any dirt or such. Instant shower."

"Wow," was the general response, to which Giles asked, "But you are able to remove it, correct?"

"Oh, it comes off," Willow enthusiastically contributed, only to turn red again and hide her face in her hands as she realized what she'd said and couldn't deny.

After a moment, Buffy and Xander faced off, slowly increasing the speed, complexity and some of the strength used, Xander doing quite well and getting in quite a few scores until he called a halt.

"What's wrong, Xander?" Buffy asked as the others approached, "You seemed to be well."

"Yeah, but you didn't really see anything much beyond what I've learned already, did you?"

"Some of your strikes were new, kinda fast, why?"

"Snake wasn't a martial artist as such, he was a brutally efficient… martialist I guess, he knew the moves, but his experience had focused it to ending a situation, not making it graceful or letting it carry on. You're way stronger and faster than me, Buff, but it was all I could do to not cripple and kill you once we got going. I might have a bunch of ideas for you to try if you run into a bunch of vamps and need to end it quick instead of fighting them. And I think I'll need to practice on some vampires and have you guys watch."

"Wow, cool, so you don't know as much, but what you do know is like Bruce Lee serious?" The blonde slayer was quite happy to have a real sparring partner.

"Well, I have the knowledge and the skill, but I guess when he used it it's a lot like you seem to get some times, and just stop thinking. When I started to get near that point, Snake's focus was instinctive in ending the fight there, then and without consideration for others."

"So, what about speed and stuff?"

"He seemed about twice the speed of a human in his regular moves," Angel surprised everyone by speaking up, "And maybe a bit faster when he focused. He recovered and dodged about that fast, too."

"Indeed," Giles agreed, "Though when struck he seemed a little better than that at regaining his equilibrium. I don't know how well or long he can keep going at those levels, but quite impressive. It would normally take Olympic-level training and commitment to attain such levels, I certainly hope we can come up with a training regimen for you Xander that will allow you to maintain your new gifts."

"Er, thanks Giles, I'd appreciate that," Xander replied, "Maybe something that I can be doing all the time, so that the actually training will be on improvement rather than just keeping what I have now?"

"I'll give it some thought, and now why don't you see if you can remember any other skills while we test Angel," Giles directed, turning to the restored human, "Angel?"

Xander stepped outside for a minute to head for Cordelia's car, pulling out a large duffle and his guitar case. When he returned to the library, he noticed Angel doing quite well, but starting to tire. Reaching the table, he watched Giles stop the sparring, Xander readying his instrument as the girls opened the duffle.

"Well, Angel, you are just about as fast as Xander, and nearly as strong," the Watcher considered as Buffy stopped her beau from guzzling water and giving himself cramps, "But since your body itself has not had to work for its strength and speed, we'll have you concentrating hard on building stamina. Your moves indicate possible black belts in Aikido and Karate, but not much else, and when you shifted to swords you were very good."

"My father expected it, and the…messenger…that sent me to Sunnydale actually trained me in Karate and Aikido, plus bare-knuckle boxing. Angelus never bothered to learn anything, though I added Tai Chi a few decades back to help with the…brooding."

"Well, very good, I think if we move quickly, and intensively, by Christmas we hopefully reach a point where you and Xander in capability and skill might approximate each other quite well. Given my own skill in rapier, which will help against the speed and agility the two of you have shown, we'll use that for sword practice."

"It's a shame there isn't something we could use to slow Buffy down, Giles," Xander noted, sitting up on the counter and getting ready to play the guitar, "If she could learn at a slower level, with people at or slightly above her in skill, imagine how well she'd build up skill so that when she faced a Master vampire that started life as a linebacker, she could treat him like a newbie." Only Xander seemed to note the Watcher's slight paling at his first sentence, deciding to ask about it later.

"Hey! I'm skilled!" Buffy countered, then thought about it for a minute, "Right?"

"W-well, you master moves quite well, Buffy," Giles conceded, "But I understand where Xander's coming from. "Training as the underdog instead of the stronger does give you perspective, and perhaps even an insight into what moves others might use…"

"And if you can make it instinctual, the surprise alone to the vamps would be like Larry finding out the hard way that Jonathan Levinson is Duncan Macleod of the Clan Macleod before he could finish the first lame vampire quip," Xander added with a serious look but a smile, "Cause remember, Buff, we're all here to make sure you become the first Slayer to reach a hundred, right guys?"

Joyce smiled, tears forming that matched her little girl's, as the group assured them, "So Mr. Giles? IS there anyway to tone her down or boost them up that isn't dangerous?"

"Rupert, or Giles, please," the Watcher replied, "If there is, I don't know if we could limit it to just training times, I'd hate to risk anything if she were to encounter an adversary while still under the influence of anything we could use. A-and I'm unsure if there are safe magics for others, but we can certainly research."

"It's too bad we don't have two Slayers," Cordelia said, "Then the experienced one could train the newer one until they matched up. But then I guess you'd have to find a way to have trained the first one before she became a Slayer."

"A-actually, we can sometimes identify a potential slayer early on," Giles considered, "And the Council takes steps to train them as Slayers and as future Watchers so that as most are not Called, they can continue as part of the fight."

"Should we maybe call someone and have potentials show up?" Xander asked, getting an odd look of concern from Joyce, "That way Buffy could train them in what she's picked up, they can as young girls help prepare the Buffster, kind of a cross-training. As teachers, each would realize their own weak points and work to correct them, and know they would also be keeping each other alive."

"When did you become so smart, Xander?" Jenny asked, receiving an eye-roll from Xander, "I mean, about real stuff?"

"It's the only stuff he does know," Cordelia told her directly, "Not the book stuff, but come on…his grades used to suck, but he's still in the same classes as me and Willow."

"Thanks, I think," Xander replied tentatively, Willow cutting him off.

"And those're going to improve real soon if Cordelia and I have our way with him," Willow said, then grimaced and sighed at the look he gave her, "I don't mean that mister, but you won't have a hope at that unless you start using the smarts we know you have."

"And you'll have to 'clean up nicely' once in a while, too," Cordelia jumped in, the conversation not only going off track but taking a vacation in Uganda, "And no more smoking."

"You smoke, Xander!" Joyce disapproved, "No more, young man, or no more dinners for you." Xander developed a horrified look of loss at this threat.

"Snake smoked, not me!" Xander nearly yelped, "I'm just stuck with giving the habit up…"

"And have you tried, yet?" Cordelia asked.

"It's only been twenty-four hours!"

"Mm, don't wanna kiss a nasty-smelling mouth…" Willow reinforced.

"Okay, okay," Xander complained, then turned to Giles, "How about we move on to other skills…uh, I play several instruments, I could manage a recording business including the merchandising, I'm at least capable in probably any non-exotic modern weapon, I can track and kill silently in almost any setting whether urban or of any biome in the northern hemisphere, I can from component materials create effectively and possibly non-traceable explosive devices, I know most of the pressure points on the human body and how to effect them in the full spectrum of possible situations, and I speak military and government-speak and a couple of languages, they may be modern but its gotta be of the good…"

"Sadly, English isn't one of them," Giles remarked, causing Xander to stop in shock, speechless.

"And winner by TKO, Rupert Giles," Angel intoned, igniting laughter even from Xander.

"And Willow knows how to play tambourine, dress hair, sing and dance a bit, seems to be a very good knife fighter, and can probably use her bullwhip to…" Xander said and purposefully paused to look at his audience, "knock the cigarette out of my mouth if I light up near her."

Willow sighed in relief he didn't say what else she was good at now, Xander continuing on Cordelia, "Cordelia seems to have picked up singing talent and skill, Giles, also is a dresser of the hair, and has picked up balance and grace enough to probably dance professionally with training, and might be good with a rapier."

"Really?" Giles enthused, "Would you care for lessons, Miss Chase?"

"Wow, sure, Giles, and it's just Cordelia."

"Oh!" Buffy remembered, "My knife-fighting and throwing is much better than before, I guess all those knives Willow and I wore on our costumes passed on some skill. And my costume must have been made in France, because my French is better?"

"Really?" Willow asked hopefully.

"Yup, no more 'Je Stink' for me, Willow," the Slayer enthused, leaning back into her tentatively-approved boyfriend.

"Well on that note, and though it has nothing to do with slaying," Giles paused, "I'm curious as to these musical skills we've been mentioning, shall we?"

Warehouse District, Sunnydale, 9:30PM

Angelus sighed, dropping the male teen to the ground in disgust before finding the building Spike and Drusilla stayed in, 'What is that taste? This kid must have been doing some nasty drugs.' He entered the door, dropping Billy Fordham in the alley, no longer an issue even to himself.