Oh wooooow! I updated. Shinjirarenai, yo! It's really short, but I felt I had to put something out, so this is it. Probably not very funny, but ah well. Thank you to the reviewers, you warm my heart. Well, no you don't, but you do warm my left elbow, and this I thank you for. I was gonna do shout-outs but I'm too gosh-darn lazy and Scrubs is almost on AND I haven't done my Japanese homework, so I'll do them next time. Chao chao, darlings!

CHAPTER, WHAT IS IT NOW, 3? 4?

After lunch, we had last period. (A/N: Don't know how periods work in the US, sorry) Spanish. Loving the language, hating the teacher. And, as often happens to me, during Senora's incredibly long speech about the formation of irregular verbs in the conditional tense, I dropped off to sleep, head on arms.

And had the oddest dream.

Chris, Gordie, my Mum and I were climbing Mount Everest. When we got to the top, Mum handed me a pair of tweezers, and told me I had to try and pick up the mountain with them. It was just starting to shift when-

"Isabel? IsaBEL!" (My teacher had decided to call me by the Spanish form of my name.) "Why she crying?" She asked the girls next to me. I flicked my head up.

"I'm not crying."

"Listen, Isabel, any problem you have, please, come to meet me."

Yeah. Right. I can just imagine it….

"Senora, here's the thing. I like, I mean, really like, this guy. He's…he's just…wow. You know?"

"Si, si. But, Isabel, can you tell me what his name is?"

"Um, Chris. Christopher."

"Ah, si. And what is this name in espanol?"

ARGH. No.

Anyway, after Spanish (how can an hour take so long?) I walked out to the bus. And inside sat my nemesis. My enemy. As my little sister says "my emeny". The afternoon bus driver. I, a mere lass of 16 who was too lazy to get her licence, knew more about driving than he. In the past 2 weeks he:

knocked the mirror off a car

ran over the curb

almost ran over an old lady

ran over the curb

smashed into the back of another bus

and oh yeah, and he ran over the curb

Needless to say, we didn't get along. I gave him my best evils as I got on. Though maybe they were too evil, as I had squinted at him so hard that my eyes were closed and I walked into his chair. I tripped. And fell ON him.

Oh! The horror! The tragedy! The smell! My face in his chest. His shirt unbuttoned one too far. White hair in my face! I threw myself backwards, stammered something like "thepotatoesareonfire," and dashed to my seat.

I covered my face with my hands. Oh dear God. That was worse than being closed in the bus doors, worse than rolling down the stairs that time. I was mortified. After a lifetime of embarrassing myself, I was used to it, but this…this was a new level of shame.

It was when I took my fingers off my eyes and saw Tessa opposite me almost pissing herself with silent laughter (the enormous retard can't actually laugh out loud) that I realised I wasn't in my usual seat. And then I died. Because sitting next to me was the one, the only….

(And no, it wasn't Chris.)

MICHELLE. My nemesis. My enemy….basically the bus driver in female form. Young, annoyingly pretty female form.

"Elizabeth, I'm actually waiting for Becca to sit next to me. Do you mind?" She smiled at me.

Normally I would have gone to sit next to Tessa. But I've always had a temper, especially when I commit social suicide by getting a little too friendly with a bus driver. (Why do I put myself down?)

I looked at Michelle and grinned. "No, I don't mind sitting next to you at all." I had to fight to keep the grin on my face because that comeback was so characteristically LAME that it made me want to cringe.

Michelle looked disgusted. "Look, Elizabeth, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but…" she trailed off. Surprising, because she wasn't the type of girl to trail off willy nilly. Heh, I just wanted to say "willy nilly".

She was looking at the door to the bus. For, walking in, was the one, the only…

(And no, it wasn't Chris.)

GORDIE. Next to me, Michelle sat up straighter. She tucked her hair behind her ears then pulled it back out. She smiled.

It really made me wonder how obvious I was when it came to the guys I liked.

But then I put 2 and 2 together, and a few quick finger-counting calculations later, I came up with 4. But that's all besides the point, because I had just realised that MICHELLE liked GORDIE. A little more pondering on my part, and it hit me that that would screw up The Plan for Tess! I had to do something. (Just so you know, I'm not usually this slow. But it was a Tuesday afternoon – what can you expect!)

But what?

I needed to hurry, because at the rate Michelle was going, she'd be flashing him soon, and then all would be lost for Tess. But then….aha! My plan was simple, yet genius. Though mainly just simple.

I went and sat next to Gordie.

"Hey Elle," he said. I smiled over my shoulder at Michelle, who was looking rather perturbed. To say the least.

The bus was pulling out as I asked him hopefully if there was any news.

And what he said next was definitely not what I expected.