Word of the captured Amastrians reaches Zalpa when they are five miles away. The people are jubilant. For once, Spike sees the folly of rubbing it in. He steps up to the platform in the agora. The people quickly grow silent and look his way.
SPIKE: The defeated enemy will soon arrive. (cheers) And when they do, there will be no gloating. (sighs and whines of disappointment) Now, I know I sound like the bloodiest of bloody hypocrites for saying this. (laughter) But I want to show them how much fun we have in Zalpa. (cheers) Show 'em a good time. Treat them like honored guests. Make them want to stay. Or at least make them want to tell their countrymen about how great life is in Thermadonia. Then maybe that country will come to its senses and want to join us. (cheer and applause)
Spike leaves the stage and walks towards the front gates. Along the way, he passes by the theater, where they return to rehearsing their latest production. The director runs up to Spike as he goes by.
NABIS: They couldn't have picked a better day to get captured. Tonight, I'm premiering "The Gift Cycle." Four acts, two heroes, one epic story of rebirth and transformation. Maybe it will make the misguided Amastrians understand your greatness.
SPIKE: Knowing your track record, I'm sure it will.
Nabis looks delighted.
NABIS: You mean you saw "Becoming!" I thought you couldn't make it.
SPIKE: I didn't. Just heard the raves.
Nabis looks disappointed.
NABIS: Does this mean you won't be coming to tonight's show? laughs Excuse the pun.
SPIKE: Duty calls, Nabis. We have to mobilize for war.
NABIS: That means people will be leaving the city to fight in the north.
SPIKE: Most of the forces are already in the field. Live should go on here as normal.
NABIS: Life hasn't been anything approaching normal since you arrived.
SPIKE: I meant you can continue putting on your shows. People need to be entertained. Plus, it'll help morale.
NABIS: That's true. Tomorrow night we're putting on "A Touch of Magic." It's a crowd favorite, and none-too-serious. The people need comedy in these tense days. Am I right?
SPIKE: That you are. Good luck with the opening.
NABIS: I'm sorry you can't be there. Come to think of it, you haven't made it to any of my shows.
SPIKE: I've been busy.
NABIS: Could you at least look at the sets and costumes to make sure they're accurate?
SPIKE: I trust your judgement completely.
This complement causes Nabis to cease nagging Spike, who is understandably wary of seeing dramatizations of events he actually lived through. Especially highly idealized propagandistic dramatizations.
"The Gift Cycle" covers the end of Season Five, all of Season Six and the start of Season Seven. Act One begins with Glory torturing Spike and ends with Buffy's death. Act Two chronicles Spike's grief, Buffy's rebirth, and ends with the musical episode and their first kiss. To fill the Buffyless void, a subplot is developed about Spike's role as Dawn's protector and "big brother." This is meant to show Spike's goodness and display how "naturally" he fits into the Summers home. There are also allusions in Act One to how "well" Spike got along with Joyce and how she "liked" him so much better that cradle-robbing Angel and boring Riley. After intermission, Act Three follows their passionate affair and bitter breakup. Act Four begins with Spike winning back his soul which tragically leads only to agony, guilt and insanity. But then Buffy's love saves him, and they live happily ever after. As you can see, Spike's people have taken enormous liberties with the facts. The Buffybot appears as a fighter, but there is no mention of her origin as Spike's sex toy. The rape scene is entirely omitted, as are all references to how degraded the affair with Spike made Buffy feel. The happy ending is of course entirely invented. Spike is "bad" in the sexy rebellious sense, but he never does anything evil. Even when he's soulless, Spike always tries to do good. But he can't BE good until he gets his soul back. In addition, there's no mention of the fact that the chip in his head is what prevented Spike from killing people.
"Becoming" begins with the eponymous final episode of Season Two. Spike rescues Buffy from the police and gives her a chance to save the world when all hope seems lost. Buffy bursts into the mansion, beheads Vampire #1 and begins fighting Vampire #2 while Spike beats Angelus with a stick. Dru tackles Spike and Angelus pulls the sword out of Acathla. From then on, things don't go according to plan. When Xander enters, and instead of punching Vampire #2, he stakes him. (Spike and the Thermadonians don't know that Buffy gave Xander a stake in place of his rock when they were walking up to the mansion, which bolsters the plausibility of their retelling.) Now, instead of wasting fifteen more seconds on this anonymous vampire, Buffy goes after Angelus at the moment when he pulls the sword out. Xander liberates Giles and they leaves the story, but not before Giles sings a verse or two crediting Spike with saving his life. Dru has just decked Spike when Angel grabs the sword. She notices Buffy coming at him from behind with her own sword. Dru leaps at Buffy to keep her from harming dear Angelus, knocking the sword out of Buffy's hand. She moves just in time to avoid Spike's sleeper hold. With Buffy occupied with Drusilla, Angelus goes after Spike, trying to kill him for his betrayal. Spike grabs Buffy's sword, cuts Angelus and sends him to Hell seconds before Willow's spell would have restored his soul. A few seconds earlier, Buffy staked Dru. She watches Angelus get sucked into Hell. Spike's happy. Then he notices Dru is a pile of dust. They've won, but each of them has lost their lover forever. Full of grief and rage, Buffy and Spike fight a vicious battle which decides nothing. Exhausted and despondent, they go their separate ways. Soon enough, Spike realizes he's in love with Buffy. He tracks her down in Los Angeles. She wants nothing to do with him. Spike gets desperate. Buffy just calls him a sick pathetic loser. Spike earns his soul. Buffy returns to Sunnydale, and shortly thereafter so does Spike. She begins to give him a chance. Then Angelus returns, evil and thirsting for revenge. Spike helps Buffy kill him. Soon they fall in love and live happily ever after. Faith's arrival is only alluded to. Somehow, Spike's presence keeps her from going evil. Her fate is not mentioned, since the only relevant part is Faith goes bad when Angel's around but stays good when Spike takes Angel's place. At the end Buffy jokes with Spike about resurrecting Angel so Faith can have an ensouled vampire of her own. Spike says he thinks Faith deserves better. They laugh. End of show.
"A Touch Of Magic" is briefer and less intense. It centers around the time Willow accidentally made Spike and Buffy want to get married. After the spell wears off, Spike realizes that he liked being in love with Buffy. Slowly, Buffy comes to the same realization. In the end, they live happily ever after. Riley is portrayed as a buffoonish third wheel. The Giles-Spike relationship is developed along father-son lines which would deeply upset Spike if he ever actually saw the play. And in a move that would disturb Spike and enrage Willow, the Willow-Tara relationship is depicted as something of a parallel for Spuffy, with Willow and Buffy each trying new things and discovering their true selves. Like I said, it's the sort of propaganda the Great Leader himself would be ashamed of.
A little later, Spike stands outside the walls as the captives are brought up. Andrea leads one column of 11 men. Their hands are bound behind their back with rope. Andrea rides her horse and has her lasso around the neck of the man in front, occasionally yanking on it to pull him forward when he slows down. Spike realizes she's taking way too much pleasure in this. Penelope rides on her horse in front of the other column of 11 men. She doesn't have a lasso. The lead man in that column is the bare-chested Hiero. All the other men hang their heads down in shame. He holds his head up, his jaw clenched, his face looking stern but proud. Hiero refuses to give the enemy the satisfaction of seeing him look humiliated. It helps that, like his hero Angel, Hiero looks quite good with his shirt off. Behind and on either side of the men are hundreds of armed girls, skipping and dancing and laughing and singing. Spike runs up to Andrea and Penelope. He doesn't look happy.
SPIKE: Untie these men.
ANDREA: They're our prisoners. We caught 'em fair and square.
SPIKE: They're MY prisoners. Untie them right now. And take your lasso off that poor sod's neck.
Andrea does this and gives the order to unbound the captives. The girls quickly do what they are told. Spike inspects the men. He stops in front of Hiero, who glares at the Golden God with contempt and scorn.
SPIKE: Where is this boy's shirt?
PENELOPE: On my arm. He speared me. Spike looks at the wound. Then he looks at the local dignitaries behind him. Get Penelope a doctor right this bloody instant. And get the boy a shirt.
HIERO: My name isn't boy.
SPIKE: Rude to his elders. I like that. Tell me boy, what should I call you?
PENELOPE: His name's Hiero.
Spike turns to look at her. He takes her left arm in his hands.
SPIKE: How are you, pet?
PENELOPE: I'm fine. But thanks for asking. smiles. Hiero rolls his eyes and groans. Spike and Penelope turn around
SPIKE: Do you have a problem with me being nice to the wonderful girl you tried to kill?
HIERO: No. Just with her being nice to you.
Spike decides to kill Hiero with kindness. He walks up and condescendingly rubs the top of Hiero's head with his right hand, mussing up his hair.
SPIKE: Well aren't you a cutie. gives him a brief noogie. looks at High Priest Nicias I like this one. Put him up in the palace. looks at all 22 prisoners Welcome to Zalpa. Telamon, show our special guests the best this fair city has to offer.
TELAMON: Right this way, gentleman. I'm sure you must be very hungry after your long journey. We have prepared a great feast for your pleasure.
The confused and suspicious Amastrians file through the gate. Everyone they pass in the marketplace is extremely polite. The women all smile at them. They are led into a luxurious banquet hall where the famished men, who have been walking and riding without food for the past 18 hours, wolf down fruits, breads and meats served to them by pretty women. After plying them with liberal amounts of wine, the women oil and massage their weary muscles, then feed them grapes as they recline on couches, listening to musicians serenade them. The women are prostitutes, who as a group are very grateful to Spike because he allowed them to keep all their income by convincing their pimps to allow them to become independent contractors. (Spike achieved this by threatening to give the pimps to Panthesilea's Amazon tribe, knowing full well that they'd torture the men to death or sell them into slavery. The terrified pimps decided to give up their occupation and invest their ill-gotten profits in more respectable ventures. For comparison, Angel outlawed prostitution, personally counseled the women to try to convince them to turn their lives around, and offered to train them for more rewarding employment.) The women are volunteering their time, and don't expect to have to do anything they would normally get paid for. And they are right. After a sleepless night, a gigantic meal and copious amounts of wine, the men all fall asleep early in the afternoon and are carried off to the best guest bedrooms in the best mansions in town.
Hiero will have none of Spike's temptations to join the Dark Side. He refuses to go to the banquet and retires to the luxurious room Spike has set aside for him. Hiero demands something less luxurious. Spike jokes that in his town this IS the least luxurious room. Hiero stays put, but refuses to eat. He also refuses the shirts he's offered on the grounds that they're too fancy. He believes accepting anything from Spike would be tantamount to accepting a bribe.
Kreon and Myrina return to the city. They've heard the joyous news. Myrina hugs Spike when he tells her she's not late for work because Spike has declared today a holiday. He relishes playing the nice guy, especially while he is simultaneously bringing together all the components of his army for an invasion of Amastria that will bring Angel to heel once and for all. Kreon reminds Spike that Hiero is Angel's protege. Now the young man's ascetic political prisoner act makes sense. He decides it's best to leave Hiero alone, isolated from his more pliable comrades. If he wants to suffer, Spike won't stand in his way. But he won't antagonize Hiero, which is why he keeps Andrea from talking to (taunting) him. Penelope has got her wound bandaged. Nicias is busy trying to get the blood stains out of Hiero's shirt. The one perk of Spike's job that hasn't grown stale is forcing the High Priest (and all the other Priests) to perform menial tasks. Penelope insists on bringing Hiero a new shirt. Since she seems to be the one Thermadonian Hiero does not detest, Spike lets her go in. Her older brother Kreon, who would not have approved of this contact, is napping at that time. Penelope enters carrying a corse brown tunic.
PENELOPE: I hope this ain't too fancy for you. she hands him the shirt
HIERO: Is it HIS?
PENELOPE: Course not. he goes to put in on, then pauses
HIERO: Why do you care?
PENELOPE: Without a shirt, you look like a slave. And we don't have slaves in Thermadonia. Not since Spike came. Plus, you ain't decent. You think I wanna see this? I hardly know you.
Hiero has good manners, and knows it's not very polite to be half-naked in front of a young female stranger. If he took after Spike, Hiero would have jokingly implied that Penelope liked what she saw and protested a little too much. But that's not Hiero's way.
HIERO: Okay. Now I'm decent. That makes two of us in this country. Hiero thinks Penelope's smart enough to see the error of her ways and join Angel.
PENELOPE: I didn't mean to strip you. Just needed somethin' to stop the bleeding.
HIERO: How's your arm?
PENELOPE: You say that like you care.
HIERO: I do. I am the one who hurt you.
PENELOPE: Yeah, right. You call this hurting me?
HIERO: Have you been wounded before?
PENELOPE: In battle? No. Course, I've only been a warrior for twenty days.
HIERO: You're a natural.
PENELOPE: I learned a lot from my brother.
HIERO: Kreon? laughs I can't believe you two are related. You're noble. He's a scoundrel.
Penelope slaps his face hard with her right hand.
PENELOPE: Don't you ever insult my family. Say one more bad think about my brother, and I'm gonna make Spike let my brother fight you. And this time you ain't gonna be able to run away.
HIERO: I know. Because after I killed him, you and your sister would come after me. THEN I'd be in real trouble. smirks. Penelope pulls back her hand, but decides against slapping him a second time.
PENELOPE: What's your problem, rich boy?
HIERO: I'm not rich.
PENELOPE: Course you are. Ain't no poor Amastrian horsemen.
HIERO: Didn't say I was poor. My family has land. Not a lot. But it's enough. I mean, it WAS enough. Until Spike took it away.
PENELOPE: Spike took nothing. Your own people turned on you cause you weren't treating 'em right.
HIERO: I know. Penelope is shocked Angel taught me that. He's made my people better. We can show that to the people in the stolen lands if Spike would take his mercenaries out. But he won't.
PENELOPE: Because then you'll invade us. Your people can't stand that my people are finally free and happy and powerful. You think we're not as good as you.
HIERO: You aren't. So long as you keep following Spike.
PENELOPE: You talk like you're smart. But you're an idiot. Cause you can't see that we're both following Spike. Angel's doin' the same stuff Spike did. And he's doin' it CAUSE Spike did it.
HIERO: But Angel's doing it better.
PENELOPE: Do you like me?
Hiero is taken aback by this question.
HIERO: Whadya me like?
PENELOPE: Do you think I'm brave?
HIERO: Absolutely.
PENELOPE: Well, I'm brave cause of Spike. Wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been standing in your way.
HIERO: Spike didn't make you brave. You were always that way.
Walks away, shaking her head, then turns around right before the door.
PENELOPE: Must be the hunger that's got you talking crazy. You need to eat something.
HIERO: I won't touch his food.
PENELOPE: That's your people's problem. You're so fulla hate you don't know a good thing when it comes your way.
HIERO: I could go for some porridge. If you bring it.
Penelope is wary of this young stud.
PENELOPE: Sure. Okay. But you try any funny stuff, and you'll be wearing your lunch.
She leaves the room. Hiero lies back on the couch and smiles. Penelope isn't arrogant like Spike or Kreon. And she's nothing like the women in Amastria. When she's around, Hiero forgets about how mad Angel will be when he returns home. Now that Penelope's gone, the dread comes flooding back. And then Andrea comes skipping into the room, humming a happy tune. Hiero rolls his eyes.
HIERO: What now? You decided to burn me?
Andrea giggles.
ANDREA: You made a funny. Didn't know you had a sense of humor. That makes two ways you're better than Angel.
HIERO: Oh really. What's the other.
ANDREA: Your hair. (Hiero's haircut is coincidentally like Angelus's circa 1900, but a little curlier, just as Kreon's haircut is like Spike circa 1900, except brown instead of blonde.) Why don't you like Spike? What did he ever do to you?
HIERO: He took my home!
ANDREA: No he didn't. Your neighbors did. Shoulda been nicer to them.
HIERO: Maybe if they talked to me we could have worked something out. Attack first, talk later: that's Spike's way.
ANDREA: And Angel's way is what? Sitting around feeling sorry for himself?
HIERO: He doesn't do that.
ANDREA: Sorry. I meant walking around brooding and not helping no one.
HIERO: Angel helps people. He's helped a lot more people that Spike ever has.
ANDREA: Cause he had a hundred year head start. Spike's catching up to him awful fast. I'd rather have Spike on my side. He's a man of action.
HIERO: So's Angel. But Angel's also a man of wisdom.
ANDREA: looks angry. walks towards Hiero You think Spike's dumb?
HIERO: He's certainly not as smart as Angel.
ANDREA: Spike was smart enough to choose to be good. When did Angel ever do that?
HIERO: Spike only did that to be around Buffy.
ANDREA: Ain't that why Angel got in the game?
HIERO: That explains why he left her to help even more people.
ANDREA: You're jealous.
HIERO: Excuse me?
ANDREA: You're jealous of us. You're jealous of how happy and free people are in my country. Just like Angel's jealous of Spike.
HIERO: Why can't you be less like your brother and more like your sister?
ANDREA: smiles flirtatiously Why Hiero, I thought I was too young for you. Guess you really do take after Angel. Hiero takes offense at this gibe from the petite, athletic 14 year-old blonde girl who's good with weapons. Too bad for you I learned from Buffy's mistake.
Hiero decides not to defend Angel against this unprovoked cheap shot. It's beneath him.
HIERO: You know that's not what I meant.
ANDREA: Just kidding. Like I was sayin', William the Bloody comes along, pretty soon he's doing stuff Angelus never even thought of. Makes Angelus look like the Mini-Bad. Then when Spike goes good, he shows up Angel. Just like before. Anything Angel can do Spike can do better. she's too young to add "Just ask Buffy," which is what her older brother would have said.
HIERO: Who's Spike ever inspired? Who has he made good? How many lives has he changed? It's not even close.
ANDREA: How many lives has Spike changed? How many people are there in Thermadonia?
HIERO: I meant back in their world.
ANDREA: Only reason Angel helps people is cause he needs them to help him. Spike can rescue himself. giggles Guess you really are like Angel. I mean, look at you: trapped and helpless.
Andrea walks out of the room. She runs into Spike, smiles and hugs her hero.
ANDREA: Hi Spike. Why don't you look happy? Today's a happy day.
SPIKE: What were you doing in Hiero's room?
ANDREA: Just talking.
SPIKE: We want his stay here to be as pleasant as possible. Spike's using the royal we
ANDREA: He looked lonely. I wanted to keep him company.
SPIKE: Do you like hurting people?
ANDREA: I didn't hurt him. I swear!
SPIKE: I'm not talking about now. I'm talking about out on the battlefield.
ANDREA: Well yeah. Course I like hurtin' the enemy.
SPIKE: That's not good.
ANDREA: Why not? I thought that was the point?
SPIKE: The bloody point is to defend your family and your friends from people who want to harm them. You should never enjoy making people suffer.
ANDREA: Even bad people?
SPIKE: The bad people get their rocks off by causing pain. Don't be like them, Andrea. You're a great girl. Take after your big sister, and you'll be a great woman. Penelope walks past them and goes into Hiero's room
ANDREA: See! I am takin' after her.
PENELOPE: Here's some porridge. In a wooden bowl. With a wooden spoon. Hope it's simple enough for you. Also brought this jar of honey, case you wanted something sweet.
Hiero thinks of saying that he had something sweet as long as she was around, but decides not to push his luck.
HIERO: Thanks. Does this mean you're no longer mad that I tried to kill you?
PENELOPE: Are you still mad I killed your horse?
HIERO: You were defending yourself. I was the one who made Nicanor run into your spear.
PENELOPE: Guess I taught you a lesson.
HIERO: More than one.
He smiles at her. She blushes. After a few seconds of awkward silence Penelope leaves the room. By now, Kreon is up from his nap. He sees her walk out of the room and follows her out of the palace.
KREON: What were you doing with that heathen?
PENELOPE: Showing him more class than his people would ever show us.
KREON: You can't trust anything he says.
PENELOPE: Why are you so paranoid? Don't you trust me?
KREON: On the field of battle, absolutely. With boys, no.
PENELOPE: So it's okay if a boy wants to kill me, but not okay if he wants to ask me out?
KREON: Yes. Because you can't get away with killing a boy who's only hitting on you.
PENELOPE: He wasn't hitting on me. smiles, twirls her hair Okay, maybe a little.
KREON: I don't believe it. You like him!
PENELOPE: Do not. But he likes me. He feels sorry for hurting me, and doesn't mind that I killed his super-expensive war horse. It's funny. I could probably make him do anything I wanted. Like not fight us.
KREON: Oh. smiles So that's what you were up to.
PENELOPE: Why else would I bother talkin' to the enemy?
Andrea and Myrina come up. Myrina holds Kreon's hand. He looks at her and smiles.
MYRINA: Forget about work. Today's our day off.
KREON: I can't take a day off until the enemy surrenders.
MYRINA: I meant today's MY day off. And I'd like to take a walk through the park. Would you like to join me?
KREON: Spike won't be needing me for at least a couple hours.
They smile and gaze into each other's eyes as they walk away.
ANDREA: She has our brother SO whipped.
PENELOPE: I know. Isn't it adorable?
ANDREA: Totally. So what was Kreon mad at you for?
PENELOPE: Didn't like me talking to the prisoner.
ANDREA: Ain't none of his business. You caught that boy fair and square, so you can do anything you want with him.
PENELOPE: slaps her sister's shoulder and blushes Andrea, please.
ANDREA: What? I know you wouldn't wanna do somethin' like THAT with Angelboy.
PENELOPE: Exactly. fidgets He's rude. And besides, he hates my people. And my family. Especially my family. How could I possible like a boy who hates my family?
ANDREA: 'Nuff said. Let's get moving. takes her older sister's arm and walks away from the palace
PENELOPE: Why? What's happening?
ANDREA: What do you think? War. Spike wants us to lead the girls back to base. We need to work on the mixed tactics he taught us at lunch.
PENELOPE: I thought the captives would prevent war?
ANDREA: They will. If Angel surrenders. If he doesn't, we gotta be ready.
In the late afternoon, Spike introduced his captives to football. After a scrumptious dinner, he decided they had to start traveling home. Nabis was upset that they only got to catch the first act of his magnum opus. Hiero was upset that Penelope was gone and Kreon would be escorting him home. Spike gave the captives and their escorts new horses and they were on their way. Early the next morning, the group arrived at the border, where Angel was waiting for the handover. Spike, as usual, was late.
SILENUS: Why doesn't Drusilla get a chance?
ANGEL: What? What does that mean?
SILENUS: You, Darla, even Spike. Each of you got a chance at redemption. Why didn't Drusilla also get a chance?
ANGEL: Because she didn't.
SILENUS: I don't think that's fair.
ANGEL: Life isn't fair. Haven't I told you that before? What I did to her certainly wasn't fair.
SILENUS: Exactly. Of the four of you, she is the one who suffered the most from her transformation. You and Darla and Spike welcomed it. The three of you had little goodness to lose and plenty of power to gain. Of you four, she deserves redemption the most. It's cruelly ironic that she is the one who never even gets a shot.
ANGEL: It's not about who deserves it. It's just dumb luck. Forces beyond our control. I happened to get cursed by Gypsies. Spike happened to get a microchip placed in his head. Darla happened to get resurrected. None of us chose those fates. The people who provided them to us had no idea what they were setting into motion. It's nothing but a series of chance occurrences. That's all life is: making the best of the possibilities you're given but don't deserve or ask for.
SILENUS: Is it because you created her? Is she a symbol of your malice, a reminder of the evil you once perpetrated? Maybe that's why He didn't give her a chance like the others.
ANGEL: What He? Oh no you don't.
SILENUS: You accept the existence of Higher Powers – the ones who introduced you to Buffy. Why can't you accept the existence of a Highest Power who controls them?
ANGEL: Because then I'd have a lot of angry questions for Him about why He makes the people I love suffer so much.
SILENUS: Are you in rebellion against your God?
ANGEL: Am I what? How could I be? I don't even know He exists.
Silenus is starting to believe in Photius's theory that Angel and his friends lack free will. He finds something romantic and heroic and Promethean and Sisyphusian in Angel's eternal attempt to exert his non-existent free will and make the world a better place than the Highest Power will allow. Angel leaves Silenus and talks to his military commanders. A half-hour later, Spike arrives. He tells the captives they are free to go and says he hopes they enjoyed their stay in Zalpa. Most of them did. They love Spike's country. But instead of wanting to join it, they want to conquer it so they can have those lovely courtesans all for themselves. They walk over to Angel's side of the border. Hiero walks up to him, looking incredibly remorseful. Angel doesn't look him in the eye.
HIERO: I'm sorry Angel. I thought I was doing the right thing. Please, let me explain. I'm sorry. Please, please say something. Say something to me. Please.
ANGEL: I don't want to talk to you right now.
Hiero looks crushed.
HIERO: I know I need to be punished. Tell me how. I'll do it. I'll do anything.
ANGEL: I'm busy right now. Just go home. Your family's been worried about you.
Hiero hangs his head and walks away. Spike loves it. He swaggers up to Angel, grinning and chuckling.
SPIKE: singing "You're Hiero's father figure, I'm telling Connor."
ANGEL: Spike, shut up.
SPIKE: Aren't you a sad sack today.
ANGEL: Let's get down to business.
SPIKE: I understand your glummer-than-usual posturing. No one likes to lose.
ANGEL: What do you want in exchange for the freedom of these men?
SPIKE: Do you know how to kow-tow? Just kidding, mate. A one day truce. And an official acceptance of the present borders.
ANGEL: Done.
SPIKE: That's very giving of you. Normally I'd think you were playing a nasty little trick on me. But I think in this case you know you're the weaker party. Pleasure doing business with you.
Spike patronizingly pats Angel's left shoulder with his right hand.
ANGEL: Business is done. Now get out.
Spike smiles and slowly backs away.
SPIKE: Sorry. Forgot that you had get home to give Hiero a spanking. Try to go easy the bloke. He admires you. Wants to make you happy. Cares what you think about him. Just like Connor laughs – I mean, if Connor had grown up with you. pause Does that make Hiero the son you wish you could've had?
Angel does not appreciate Spike's attempt at an Angelus-ian low blow. He pounds Spike's face with a left hook. Spike answers with a quick left jab to the nose. He ducks under Angel's right cross and throws a right hook. Angel blocks this blow and lands a right jab. Spike lands a left cross, but Angel blocks his right cross and knocks Spike on his back with a left jab-right hook combination. Spike stands up, laughs and backs away. To Hiero, Angel proved his superiority by beating up Spike. To Kreon, Angel was just being a sore loser and taking out his frustration on the better man. Spike and his entourage go south. Angel's go north. His advisors are apoplectic at the terms of the deal.
ARATUS: You gave Spike everything he wanted!
ANGEL: No. I gave Spike enough rope to hang himself.
As Spike and Angel met, Spike's army was already marching north from their base twenty miles south of the front lines and 40 miles south of Lampedos. By nightfall, they had arrived at the border. The next morning, the truce would be over and Spike would commence his full-scale invasion. He had been planning this for a week. The hostages had ensured that Angel could not begin counter-measures, since if he did Spike could execute the men. (Angel was not willing to call Spike's bluff.) Spike hoped that by the time Angel could begin his defense, it would be too late. That night, spirits were high in Spike's camp. Spike tried the latest batch of beer, and found it a significant improvement on the first batch. These people were getting the hang of it. The Thermadonians, having enjoyed nothing but success under Spike, were certain of a swift, crushing victory. The only doubters were the professional soldiers, led by Memnon. Since he saw Spike as both a commander and a friend, Memnon felt he could speak his mind. He went into Spike's tent.
MEMNON: Why are we fighting? We've already won! They gave us all of the disputed territory.
SPIKE: They'll fight to get it back once I leave. Unless we teach them a lesson.
MEMNON: But we have no cause for invading them. A country gives us what we want, so we sack their capital? Think of how that will that look to the allies.
SPIKE: Our allies hate Amastria.
MEMNON: Because they fear Amastria. Once you beat Amastria, they'll fear you and turn against you. If you lose, they'll also turn against you. And that's a very real possibility. You have no seige equipment. Very little in the way of supplies. An army that's never been on campaign or even in a real battle. There are so many things that can go wrong.
SPIKE: Are you questioning my judgement?
Memnon takes a deep breath and waits five seconds before responding.
MEMNON: Yes. winces, wrongly expecting Spike to fly into a rage. You are the greatest of warriors. But tactically, you have made mistakes in the past.
SPIKE: Bollocks! I've had nothing but victories since I came here.
MEMNON: I meant back home.
SPIKE: Oh. So now you're playing armchair general with my past?
MEMNON: Maybe it's just the way they tell the stories. Please correct me if I'm wrong. When you got that invincibility ring, you immediately attacked Buffy. It would have been much smarter to spend the day running around town, massacring civilians and making Buffy chase after you. Then, at night, when she's tired and demoralized, you attack. More important, if you fought at night and she removed the ring, you wouldn't have to break off the engagement.
SPIKE: Well, the thing is . . . you have to understand . . . bloody hell, you may have a point.
MEMNON: Then there was the first time you fought her. Your soldiers split up and besieged the harmless civilians, allowing Buffy to take them in detail. Even worse, they weren't around to provide flank support for you during the actual combat. It would have been much wiser to keep your soldiers together, focus solely on finding Buffy, and then making sure they prevented anyone from coming to her aide during the climactic single combat.
SPIKE: They weren't soldiers. They were vampires. And it's impossible to keep vampires disciplined. Especially when there are lots of tasty treats nearby.
MEMNON: Tell them once Buffy's dead, the civilians will be helpless. She's the only enemy they feared. Kill her, and nothing will stand in their way. Wouldn't that convince them?
SPIKE: Whose side are you on? You wish I had killed Buffy? Cause if that had happened, I don't get my soul, and I don't ever come here to help you. Is that what you want?
MEMNON: Certainly not. My point is, you have made mistakes in the past. Your eagerness and your confidence has led you on occasion to blunder into battle under less than optimum circumstances. When you lead an army, you have to consider everything that could go wrong and plan accordingly.
SPIKE: If you worry about every bloody little thing that could go wrong, you'll never fight any battles.
MEMNON: You have everything to lose.
SPIKE: Story of my bloody life.
