"You Are Not Alone…"
Khmer Moon Blossoms
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.
Author's Notes: Yep, I'm back!
Sou-chan's gurl 4-ever: This chapter is dedicated to you and your mom, as well as all of the rest of the reviewers. But I wanted to say this especially to you…hope you enjoy, gurl!
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Chapter Five
Kaoru's POV
We said our small farewells-a wave of the hand-and parted our ways. I hurriedly shut the door and leaned my back onto it, sighing in relief.
It was over.
I don't know…but being with Enishi made me feel an uncomfortable nervousness inside. Not like I was with Kenshin. I always felt comfortable around Kenshin…like I could tell him all of my secrets.
I peered through the peephole and watched as Enishi's retreating back walked the opposite direction we came, soon no smaller than a fly.
I smiled contentedly. I was happy to be away from him, actually. As I ascended the stairs towards my room, I started to make a small mental comparison of Enishi and Kenshin.
And of course, Kenshin won the match…along with my heart.
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Kaoru's POV
My family and I sat around the enormous dinner table.
An uncomfortable silence filled the atmosphere. It made me almost afraid to let out the cough irritating my throat.
My father stayed as calm as ever. He tried to keep our family together by taking….taking mother's place. He cooked, cleaned, and took care of the three of us after work. Of course, my college brother, Sanosuke, helped my father as much as he could after school hours.
My mother's death seemed to make us open our eyes to all of the dangers out there in the world. In doing so, my father became harshly strict against us going out somewhere. And so, we never left the house other than school.
I tried to search my father's blank expression. After a few minutes of no success, I gave up. My brothers both had the same, blank expression that seemed so distant…like they didn't have their minds occupated inside of their skulls.
I wanted to do something…anything…to open their eyes and tell them that mother would have wanted us to be happy. That she wouldn't want us to be this way…
Kenshin's made me happy…he's made me realize that life is something to live and cherish forever.
I clenched my fork in my hand, seeing the whites of my knuckles. I couldn't stand the silence anymore.
"Dad," I started. My father looked at me with eyes of dull sadness. Realizing the sadness we've been in, he widened his eyes and coughed.
"Kaoru, how was school today?" He asked me, forcing out a pained smile.
"Great," I smiled back, excited my father stirred up some conversation.
That's about how far our talk went.
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Kaoru's POV
I turned in my bed, hugging the soft pillow to my chest. I let out a groan of annoyance as I stared about my messy room. To think of it, I hadn't cleaned it…..
….since mother died.
The thought of that night only made me feel worse.
"I miss you, mom. We all do." I coughed out in a whisper towards the ceiling.
The phone rang throughout the room, cutting off my thinking. I absently picked it up.
"Hello?" I said…all out of habit.
"Hello? Kaoru?" A familiar voice spoke. I sat up in my bed. The voice brought me back to my room.
I smiled inwardly, saying: "Yes, I'm Kaoru. Who is this?"
A small chuckle came heartily from the other line. "It's Kenshin."
"Hey, Kenshin," I whispered, glancing at the door to make sure no one would hear me. "Do you need something?" I smiled wider, feeling ecstatic that Kenshin called me.
My head was suddenly hit with a thought: how did he call me?
I haven't given him my phone number…
Without waiting for his answer to my former question, I cut him off by asking: "how did you get my number, Kenshin?"
I awaited his answer intently, listening to nothing but silence from the other line.
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Kenshin's POV
"How did you get my number, Kenshin?" she asked me. I held my breath out of nervousness, my eyes laying on the open phone book in front of me.
What was I to say? 'Kaoru, I found you in the phone book.' She would think I was a stalker.
"I…um…" I tried to think of an excuse. Finding none, I sighed in defeat and hung my head, seeing my red bangs fall before me.
"I found you in the phone book," I murmered, hoping she couldn't actually hear.
But nonetheless, I heard muffled giggles from the other end. She then inhaled deeply, as if catching her breath.
"You…you did that for me?" She asked, amusement in her tone.
"Yes," I replied pathetically, slumping my shoulders.
"Why?"
I thought for a moment before answering her question.
Because…I wanted to check up on you…to make sure you didn't kill yourself…over your mother.
"I was worried," I said quickly, to stop myself from saying anything else.
There was a long silence before she answered.
"You were worried….about me?" Kaoru asked, emphasizing the word 'me' at the end, as if surprised I would ever think about her.
Didn't she know that I thought about her life every second of my being?
The thought struck me: do I love her?
Well, yes, of course. But what about Kaoru? If she didn't love me, then I would never force her into a relationship without her say. I would wait until I found a great number of signs of her loving me before I confessed.
Confessing.
I mentally sighed out of annoyance. That was going to be hard…knowing myself, I knew I was going to be a nervous wreck in front of Kaoru!
"Kenshin, are you still there?" Her voice startled me.
"Yes."
"Why were you worried about me?"she repeated, seriousness tensed in her voice.
"I…I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
The image of Kaoru beneath my arms at recess that day flashed through my mind.
"That's really sweet of you," She told me. I beamed inside. I heard a stifled yawn from the phone.
"You should go to sleep." I advised. "Good night."
"Okay. Good night," she replied, before a 'click' of the phone reached my ears.
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Kaoru's POV
Despite my eyes drooping tiredly, I hugged the phone to my chest.
"He cares! He cares!" I shouted, giggling like a little girl. Before long, my bright laughter drowned away and I fell asleep.
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Still Kaoru's POV
There.
My mother…lying there in a blood-red pool. Her hair was entangled in the cracks of the ground.
My feet carried me to her. I opened my eyes wider and cried out with desperation, staring down at her.
"Mom?" I asked, kneeling into the blood next to her. I held my head in thick confusion. "Didn't this already happen? Mom? Mom!"
My mother didn't stir. She layed there, her back towards me and blood pouring out of some wounds in her back.
"Mom?" I repeated, and took her by the shoulder to turn her over. Her eyes were open and mouth agape in horror.
I couldn't help but let out a gasp, my hands clamping over my mouth. Tears poured out of my eyes, falling onto her face and mixing in with her blood.
I looked around in frantic panic. "Someone! Someone, get help for my mother, please!" I yelled to the empty streets. Even the ghostly houses were not lit up with lights. Even the moon ignored my yelling, hiding behind the dark, threatening clouds.
I glanced back at my mother. She was gone.
I felt my eyes stretch open. "Mom?"
I looked behind me again, looking for someone to help me…anyone I remembered…Kenshin was supposed to help me. Where was he? I couldn't find a soul walking on the cold streets.
No Kenshin.
No boy running to me, comforting me from the crowd.
No frantic, lavender eyes watching me and whispering "it's alright."
No one.
I was…all alone.
Something cold came in contact with my knee. I looked down, finding a small dagger. It sat there, in the blood of my mother, sucking the street dry. The blood seeped into the knife, as if the dagger was drinking it. It even cleared the cracks from the cement dry.
Before I could think, my fingers grasped its plain black handle and brought it close to my face for inspection.
And as if they had a mind of their own, my hands held it high above my head. I widened my eyes once again, letting out a loud scream.
"No!" I squeaked out, seeing the knife above me…in my own two hands. I couldn't put the knife down. Slowly, my hands thrusted the dagger towards my chest. I forced out another heart-wrenching scream, darting my eyes around for someone to stop myself.
My mind suddenly took over.
'Relax. You'll enjoy it…' it told me. I shook my head. "No! I'm not leaving my world, my family….I'm not leaving Kenshin!"
'Why not? You'll be reunited with you mother. And this is what you wanted to do the other night, right? Here's your chance to do it.' It said wickedly, letting out a small chuckle in my skull.
I felt my eyes droop to my mind's haunting voice. I felt the grip of the dagger grow weaker and weaker, and let my mind take over. It seemed the voice had some kind of drugging effect on me.
"I'm not leaving Kenshin…" I whispered. "I'm not leaving. He made me see now…that I'm not alone. Kenshin's there. He'll always be there for me. I don't want to die anymore. I want to be with Kenshin."
"Why?" My mind taunted. "Why do you want to stay? Don't you love your mother?"
"My mother would have wanted me to be happy. She would've wanted me to finish my life to its fullest. And I know she would've approved of Kenshin."
"Kenshin this, Kenshin that," My mind mocked. I opened my eyes to slits, using all of my energy to see what was happening. The dagger was pointed right at my heart.
"Help," I whispered out, every ounce of my energy gone.
"Kenshin's not here for you this time." My mind told me. "Why do you think he'll ever rescue you again?"
"Because…" I gasped. My lungs became dry. "I love him." I said, all without hesitation. I realized it now. Kenshin has always been there for me. I love him.
"But he'll never love you," my mind laughed at me.
The dagger seemed so thirsty for more blood. I glanced around again. It was true…Kenshin was nowhere to be found.
What if he was only being helpful…if he only thought of me as a friend?
I felt the dagger plunge into my chest, I let out a small scream before hitting the ground…dying….all alone.
With no one to help me.
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Kaoru's POV
I woke up and sat up in my bed. I wiped some of the perspiration off of my forehead. I held my heart.
It was only a dream…
Or more like…a nightmare.
But whatever it was….was it true? Did Kenshin…only think of me as a friend?
My heart sunk with the same lonliness I felt at the same moment my mother left me with that thought.
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Author's Notes: Don't you think Kaoru's doubt for Kenshin adds a little to the drama?
Hey, I've got some great ideas about the upcoming chapters. This nightmare of Kaoru's is connected to the following chapters.
Next Chapter: Kaoru finds out a little more about Enishi (and his sister, Tomoe) and how he is connected to Kenshin. Of course, she defends Kenshin (as a friend). She feels miserable at the thought of Kenshin only being a friend, but protects him nonetheless. Kenshin sees this act as an act of love, and starts to fall deeply in love with Kaoru.
One sees love…another sees friendship.
And, how will Enishi ruin it all?
Find out in the next chapter!
Some reviews:
Meant2be: glad you liked it!
Sou-chan's gurl 4-ever: I'm sorry about your mom…and I hope she gets better. I hope you read my small note at the top!
Rurouni-maxi: Of course! Drama is my life!
Sims are Awsome: Yep! KxK will go on forever! Love the pen name, by the way!
Shinta-Fan: no, Enishi won't be crazy…just has a high temper. Dat okay?
PEACH: Heya! You've been with all of my stories, haven't ya? Well, glad you liked it!
