DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the intellectual property of the respective author. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

-Chapter Forty-Four-

Rumor has it that your life flashes before your eyes when you die. The tiny fragments of memories squashed and compacted in a matter of seconds. It's how the brain copes with death, giving the psyche one last bit of comfort.

But when that car horn sounded and those tires squealed in agony against the wet and slippery asphalt, I didn't see a movie reel of memories growing up with Renee.

No, my mind drifted to Edward.

Flashes and glimpses of his brilliant green eyes squinted and narrowed, fine lines forming at the corners when he smiled. His hands, warm and persuasive, grazed across my skin and gave rise to goose bumps on my sensitive and needy flesh. Lips, soft and possessive, pressed against mine. Life was perfect in those moments, all too brief in the grand spectrum of time, and I would die a million times over to be complete.

The only way that he could ever make me feel.

My heart pounded in my chest for the last time.

Bumbum, bumbum, bumbumbum…bum.

Life, a mere flicker of light, fluttered behind my closed eyes, giving me a sense of calm, knowing that the pain would only last a few seconds. I was ready, bracing myself for the imminent, willing my soul to go quickly.

Except death never came.

There was a low rumble of cursed panic that infiltrated my thoughts. Then, a firm and demanding squeeze overtook my hips, lifting me off the ground and throwing me over a shoulder. The sudden jarring and flinging of my body brought my soul back down to earth, and I snapped my eyes open with a start.

"Hey, fucker," Edward's voice erupted, slamming his fist on the hood, denting the metal inward, "slow your ass down, you almost fucking hit my girl!"

I was hanging upside down, my fingers clinging to the leather of Edward's jacket, as my wide eyes locked on the gold Cadillac grill a foot from my head. The heat from the engine radiated and warmed my chilled face.

The severity of how close I was to being plowed by this car capacitated me. I was a mere observer in this moment and less of a participant.

"Tell your dumb bitch to get out of the God damn road!" the man shouted.

I felt every muscle in Edward's body tighten. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"Just…get the hell out of the road," the man's voice cracked, losing its courageous undertone.

It was too late, Edward was charging toward the man like an enraged bull, and I could barely hang on.

"Get out of the fucking car and say that shit!" Edward demanded, pounding his fist over and over on the car's roof.

"Fuck off!" the guy said, rolling up the window and edging the forward.

Edward jerked at the door handle, trying to open it and pull the driver out. "Come on, you little bitch!"

"You're crazy, man," the man shouted, muffled by the glass.

Edward was beyond reason, and he would kill the guy to prove a point. It was up to me to de-escalate the situation before it reached that level of murderous chaos.

He was shifting my weight to set me back down on my feet, presumably to have all his hands available, when he strangled the guy when I hugged onto his waist and whispered. "Don't."

Edward froze at the sound of my voice, and I felt his back rise and fall with a reluctant sigh. Then, finally, he boosted me higher on his shoulder, securing my placement, and backed away from the car.

He was angry, but it never lasted, mainly where I was concerned.

I was the bad influence, the instigator, and I lit and extinguished the madman's fuse without ever batting an eye.

The engine revved, and the tires barked as the man behind the wheel took the freebie pass I'd given him and ran with it.

Except the idiot couldn't just leave, he had to have the last word.

"Fucking asshole!"

"Yeah, whatever, you pussy!" Edward scoffed, kicking the car's bumper as it left, the man swerving to the right to avoid two more pedestrians crossing the street. "Look at that! Piece of shit! Are you guys alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're okay," a lady said, continuing on her path across the road with her toddler in tow.

"Edward," I said and tried to prop myself up to alleviate the blood pooling in my head and giving me a migraine. "You can put me now."

"Nope," he snapped, tightening his grip on my legs and stomping off towards the sidewalk.

The ground beneath me bumped and whipped passed in a white and grey haze. It brought on a new dilemma: Nausea.

"Please, put me down," I whined.

"Not a chance in hell," he said, picking up the pace.

"What? Why?!"

"I fucking can't trust you, that's why."

"Trust me, with what?"

"Your safety."

My ass was bouncing in the air and on full display for everyone to see—which Edward repeatedly smacked every time I struggled to get down.

I groaned. "Ugh, so what then, you're just going to carry me the whole way now?"

"If necessary, yes."

Smack!

I winced, the cold weather making the sting twenty times worse.

"And what if I pass out?"

"I'm betting on it," he said and then laughed. As if that shit was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

He was pissing me off, and I started to thrash about, kicking my feet and pushing against his back with my hands. If anything, I would make carrying me the most challenging thing in his life.

"Stop," he said, smacking my ass.

Each time was more brutal than the last.

"Just fucking put me down."

"I already said no." He pinned my legs down with both arms to prove his dominance, hugging me tight to his chest.

"Fine!" I relented and stopped fighting, going limp in his arms.

The shock of the near-death experience was waning, and in its place was that familiar feeling of jealousy. Those irrational and possessive thoughts almost got me killed. Yet, despite that, it continued to grow and fester like cancer, eating away at me.

The pain of Edward being with another woman, even if it was before me, was unbearable. It swallowed me whole and pulled me down into a dark abyss. It was all I could think about now. No migraine or upset stomach could overpower the actual discomfort, the one that hurt in the heart.

Even if I didn't like the answer, I had to know the truth.

"Did you?" I asked, lower than a whisper.

But somehow, Edward heard me through the noise of people and passing cars.

He always heard me.

"Did I what?"

"Did you...you and Charlotte? I mean..." I closed my eyes and spoke fast, "did you sleep with her?"

"Are we still on this?"

I shrugged. "You never answered me."

"Yeah, because it's fucking absurd."

That word tasted like poison in my mouth, and I spat it back out. "Absurd?!"

"Yes, baby, the fucking idea is absurd."

That was all it took, the roundabouts and non-denial denials, and I was fuming again.

"Damn it, Edward, why can't you give me a straight answer? Just tell me, did you fuck her or not?"

"Pain in the ass woman," he said and squeezed the back of my thighs, ducking out of the street into an alley.

It was dark and secluded, and he sat me down on my feet. I was about to open my mouth when he placed his hand on my chest and pushed me back against the brick wall. It knocked the wind out of me, but he dismissed my discomfort by adding more pressure to my chest, keeping me still and compliant.

He leaned in and spoke in a low growl. "No, I didn't fuck her, Bella, okay? You got that? There is nothing between Charlotte and me, there never was. Do you believe me?"

I nodded. "I believe you."

"Jesus, kid," he sighed, resting his forehead against mine. "How you got that idea in your head in the first place is beyond me. I thought you knew me better than that…I thought you knew how I felt about you."

"Because of the way she touched you..." my voice faltered.

I realized at that moment how 'absurd' my feeling of jealousy were because Edward was mine. He was always mine, and no woman could ever change that. Replaying everything in my head, I saw things more clearly, and it wasn't an intimate stroke of the hand but more like a friendly pat.

I was losing my grasp on my anger and conviction. "But why did you drag me out of the car?"

"I was protecting her from you," he said, gently sliding the back of his hand across my cheek.

I jerked my head up and met his gaze. "Me? But I wasn't going to do anything to her, Edward."

He smirked. "No, I'm pretty fucking sure you would have."

There was no sense in denying the obvious. It was clear as day I wanted to crush every bone in Charlotte's hand for touching what was mine, but that was the extent of it. I would have never acted on my blind rage.

"Okay, fine, you win," I said, slumping in defeat. "I was out of line for going off on Charlotte. I will apologize for my behavior, but you didn't need to drag me out of the car like that. You took an uncomfortable situation and made it worse."

Edward's eyes widened, and he gestured at himself with his thumb. "I made it worse?

"Well, yeah, I mean, it wasn't like I was going kill her."

He laughed. "Oh, I beg to fucking differ."

"What?"

"Baby, you reached for your gun."

"No, I didn't!" It was an instant response, but I wasn't all that convinced.

My mind was racing, and I remembered the feelings of jealousy and rage vividly, but no recollection beyond that.

"Yeah, you fucking did, and if I didn't take you out of the car when I had, well..." he trailed off and shrugged, leading me to the only conclusion.

"I would have killed her."

"And then I would have to kill Peter," he said with a flippant attitude, and it surprised me. "What? I'm not going to sit there and watch him kill you."

The cascade of catastrophes that would befall us because of one pull of a trigger was heavy. How close to the edge we both were daily because of my constant immaturity and gut reaction.

"Oh, my God," I said, throwing my arms around his neck and yanking him down into a hug. "I'm sorry—for everything…." I pulled back. "But how did you know what I was going to do?"

"I saw it in your eyes, kid, that look I'd only seen too many times in my own." He noticed my confusion and smiled with love. "Don't you see what we are?"

I shook my head.

"We are two people who will do whatever is necessary to secure what is ours—even if that means killing off the threat. I don't know why. It's just the way we're wired. It's territorial…more like a…"

"A killer's instinct."

"That's right, baby," he said, his pupils constricting into a pen point. "We're killers."

The word 'killers' coming from his mouth did something to me. Something that I couldn't begin to describe with a scholar's vocabulary. Edward lit the spark of my soul and waved it into a towering inferno.

I burned for him.

Clawing at his shirt, tugging him to me, needy and desperate to have him close, desperate to fucking feel him.

Edward smiled, enjoying his power over me, lowered his lips and grazed them against mine, soft and teasingly, their proximity maddening. Then, finally, I snapped, grabbing him by the back of the neck and yanking him down to me, kissing him deeply.

He responded, thrusting his hips into mine and forcing my back into the wall. His hands were on my waist, moving upwards with a firm touch and slipping from underneath my shirt. The cold breeze followed behind him, chilling and puckering my skin. I shifted my body closer to him, seeking warmth, and he pressed his chest into me, closing the minuscule gap.

Palming my bra-covered breasts, he rolled his thumbs over the hardened nipples and squeezed them. It hurt, and I winced, but his tongue's taste and feel on mine outweighed the pain.

My fingers were on his belt when he jerked his head and broke away from the kiss.

"Fuck," he cursed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. "What?!"

The man on the other side of the line spoke low, and I could only catch bits and pieces.

Edward groaned. "Are you serious…I know, I know…Fuck…Okay, I'll meet you where you dropped us off…yeah, we didn't get very far." He laughed. "I'm working on it...bye."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"That was Peter. We forgot the fucking bag."

"The bag full of drugs? The same bag we need to frame the senator?"

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry.

"Yup." He sighed, peeling a wet strand of hair from my cheek. "Do you realize how dangerous we are together?"

I closed my eyes and nodded because I knew more than ever how our union was the worst thing that had happened to us. We were two different and alike chemicals that were corrosive to anything they touched, but their molecular bond was too strong to stay away.

Their attraction was undeniable.

But as all things go, in the end, those two compounds were going to combust and blow shit up.