They left me the bottle.
Obviously, when matters of matrimony are seriously thrown about, one gets to thinking. Thinking, and planning. There's any number of things that require planning: church reservations, cakes, formal wear, invitations, a reception party, proper amounts of food and alcohol for the reception, and a variety of other matters to worry about.
Kao and Helen already had these matters covered, it would seem. Along with the scotch (Kao called it an "Engagement Present") They left me an intimidating thick binder full of catalogues, checklists, and other paperwork that covered every factor of the wedding in great detail. All this thorough planning left only one vital element up to me.
A means of escape.
So I sat at the tilted white room's tilted white table and pooled over schedules, agendas, and guest lists, searching for that one vital clue that would provide me with a way to get the hell out of the situation. Unfortunately, the planning was foolproof; or it at least it was close enough that no obvious flaws were apparent for me to exploit.
The process of escape planning was so engrossing that I didn't even notice when she crept up behind me.
"Jim, what the hell is going on?" Aisha's irate screech took me entirely by surprise, startling me out of my chair and onto the hard white floor. The C'tarl C'tarl, true to her nature, either didn't notice or care about this undignified reaction. Aisha stood above me, arms crossed, taking in the room. "White walls, white floor, white sheets, white furniture…" her eyes seized upon the most colorful object in the room. "And good whiskey. Jim, are we dead?" As if to test her theory, she crouched down and poked me, experimentally.
Having verified my substantiality, she continued. "Because this kind of afterlife may be fine and dandy for simplistic humans, but when a C'tarl C'tarl dies (a fairly rare occasion, given our inherently immortal nature) they're to be released nude into the great paradise realm, where they shall feast with their ancestors until-"
Aisha continued with her crash course in C'tarl C'tarl theology- though I found myself momentarily distracted by the image of a naked Aisha at some cosmic buffet. It's a surprisingly entertaining thought, to tell the truth. Lucky for me, telepathy was never a trait of the C'tarl C'tarl.
"We're not dead." I slipped the answer in as Aisha paused for breath.
"Then where the hell are we?"
"The Pinnacle."
"The Pinnacle? Didn't Gene blow this place up?"
"…A little."
"Then why the hell are we here?"
With a sigh (and another swig from the bottle) I told her.
Aisha took the news far better than I expected. "WHAT?!?!" she demanded, seizing me by the collar of my jacket, dragging me upwards to peer directly into my eyes, leaving my feet dangling helplessly several inches above the floor.
"Er…Mr. Kao wants me to marry his niece."
"Oh Jim." The catgirl's expression softened, her ears drooping. Something twisted about in my stomach as a wave of guilt washed over me for having to tell Aisha such ground-shattering news. Of all the crew of the Outlaw Star, I was obviously her favorite human: the one she asked about terran culture, the one she looked over as best she could, the one who actually managed to (sometimes) understand her. Gazing into her eyes at that close distance, I could only imagine the sort of emotional anguish that must've wracked her at that very moment.
"This is WONDERFUL!" She exclaimed, abruptly dropping me to the floor again.
"What?" I managed, shocked. "…You're happy about this?" It seemed as if I would have to rethink the state of the relationship between Aisha and me.
"Of course I am!" Her eyes gleamed with ambition. "I mean, I was beginning to worry about you. You're always elbow-deep in starship parts or busy getting yourself shot at; no time to look for a proper mate. Well…except for that one time with the ship full of slavers- but you were comatose for most of that, so it doesn't count. A pity, too- that gold-headed one seemed to like you." Aisha scratched at her head, thinking. "What was her name?"
"…Helen." By this time, I got back to my feet, as if to gather about me some semblance of dignity.
"That's it!" Aisha smirked. "She looked pretty healthy to me; under the circumstances, at least. Bet she had some good genes. I have to wonder what she's up to these days."
Irony. Bitter, sour irony. "…She's Kao's niece."
"The one you're marrying?"
"Yeah."
"You lucky dog!" Aisha slapped me on the back, hard. The gesture of camaraderie, well-intentioned as it was, still had the gargantuan strength of the C'tarl C'tarl behind it, and I was sent downward a third time. And for a third time, Aisha didn't care. "Good hair (for a human, anyway) and rich too!"
"Has it ever occurred to you," Glaring at my overenthusiastic companion, I staggered upwards. "That I don't want to get married?"
"Mwrowr?" Aisha tilted her head at me, obviously perplexed. "Why not?"
"Maybe it's because I barely even know this girl?"
"So? You'll have plenty of time to get to know each other!"
"Well…how about the fact that her uncle tried to kill the both of us and take over the arms manufacturing industry?"
"As I seem to recall, a great many of your friends- myself included –have started off trying to kill you. Or at least Gene. Besides, this reminds me of an ancient C'tarl C'tarl legend! There were these two feuding families, but they had these teenaged children of about the same age, a boy and a girl…"
"Lemme guess- the two of them fell in love despite the protests of their folks?"
"Actually, no. There was an arranged marriage as a sign of peace between the families."
"So they lived happily ever after?"
"Actually, the couple hated each other so much that they wound up strangling each other to death. But not before quite a few business deals were made!" Aisha grinned toothily in my direction.
"…Nice to know you're a romantic."
"What's romance got to do with it? This is marriage! I mean, once you're hitched to this girl, you'll be rich! You won't have to worry about pirates and debt collectors and taxes and all that anymore! Isn't that what you've always wanted?"
"Well, kinda." I admitted. "…But it's just not the same!"
"Why not?"
"Because…" I searched for the proper way to explain it. I was, after all, an Outlaw. Outlaws were supposed to be free-spirits, roaming the ether as they pleased in their particular oh-so-dashing idiom. "Arranged Marriage" just wasn't in a proper Outlaw's vocabulary. An Outlaw's life was supposed to be dotted with a long list of momentary, flickering bursts of passion or lust- at least it should've been if Gene's career was any indication. How could I expect Aisha to understand this sentiment? How could I expect her to understand my conflicted and alien (to her, at the least) emotions on the matter? No easy methods of explanation came to mind.
"Because…what?" Aisha noticed my pause.
"Because I-" words bubbled out, uncalled for; I'm lucky that a convenient distraction appeared at that particular moment, in the form of the suited gunmen at the door.
"Mr. Hawking?" The lead one asked "Miss Helen would like to see you now." Aisha gave me a none-too-subtle wink and a shove towards the door, and so I was off. Out of the frying pan…
