Title: Safe Bet
Chapter: A Helping Hand
Summary: "Every plan I had for my life went so unbelievably wrong," she finally confessed, her eyes downcast, looking anywhere but at him.
Spoilers: Um... none for this chapter, I think.
Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: Ok... first of all. If you find something wrong with my story and would like to bring me up on it, please leave an e-mail address or at least something other than "anonymous" so I can try and explain things to you. I hate having long A/N's... and well, now I'm going to have to. Second of all, please make sure your correct in your corrections, because otherwise it makes you look bad, not me. One of my favorite episodes is Divide and Conquer, and I was already 99 certain who was who in the Anise/Freya situation, but when I got the review I went to Tvtome to make sure, and well... I was right. Anise likes Daniel, Freya likes Jack. Anise is the symbiote, Freya is the host. Not the other way around. And, thirdly, yeah... maybe I did write Infirmary a few times (all of what? 2 or 3) instead of commissary, but trust me, I grew up in a military family, I know the difference. They were simple typos, and if you had been paying attention, you would have seen that I started off calling it the commissary, but for some reason switched. I fixed it anyway, so it doesn't matter any longer. Sorry to those who really didn't have to read this and did... on with the story, eh?
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After her father left she headed straight for her office. She needed time alone, to think. It seemed like she had been doing a lot of that lately. The biggest thing on her mind, at the moment, was the last thing her father had said to her. "Tell him," how ambiguous could he get? Tell who? She guessed she could always ask him what he meant by his statement when he returned to earth three days later. But the wait would kill her...
He had done this on purpose, making the statement open to interpretation was a strategical move on his part. Her father had left out who because he wanted her to decide for herself– who to tell and what to tell them. The only bad thing about his plan, she had no clue what she felt and how to figure things out, so forget having a heart-to-heart with anybody. She slid her key-card into it's slot and the door to her office opened with a hiss. Closing the door behind her, she sunk into the nearest chair, bringing her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her knees. God, how could she be so confused? This was her life, her feelings, how could she not know what was going on?
Her mind traveled back to the conversation she and her father had only minutes prior. "Do you?" he had asked of her. "Love him? Do you really? Or, do you simply love the fact that he loves you."Sam had argued with him, telling him that she did love Pete, she truthfully did. But, was that really the case? Did she love him? Or was her father right– she was only keeping him around because he loved her, and she wanted somebody to do so?
A frustrated groan escaped her lips and she buried her face in her knees. "Of course I do, dad. I wouldn't be marrying him oterwise."
"Sure you would. You said yes to Jonas."
Sam scowled to herself, of course her father would have brought that mistake up. Yeah, ok– she had made a bad decision when she agreed to marry Hanson, but she had leaned from her past, hadn't she? She wouldn't have made the same mistake twice, would she have? "...when it's right, when he's right, you'll know."
That was the hook, line, and sinker, wasn't it? Her father had told her that she would know the right man when she found him... so, this confusion meant what? Pete wasn't right for her? "That easy?"
"I didn't say it would be easy."
Sighing heavily she leaned back in t he chair, tilting it backwards to where it was only standing on it's hind two legs. She rested her knees against her desk for support and closed her eyes, deep in thought. So far into her mind, that when the door to her office opened she didn't notice, nor did she hear the footsteps caused by somebody walking inside. However, when a voice called out to her, her attention was grabbed and she nearly fell backwards in her chair, but at the last moment grabbed her desk to steady herself. She glared over at who had interrupted her, coming face to face with Daniel.
"What?" she barked, wincing at the harshness of her own voice . "I'm sorry... Daniel. Do you need something?"
He shook his head, "You ran off as soon as your father left... are you ok?"
No. I'm confused as hell and have no idea where my life is going or who it's going with. "Yeah, Daniel. I'm fine. Why?" she gritted her teeth and forced a smile.
Daniel glare was scrutinizing, and Sam squirmed under his intense gaze. Shit, he didn't buy it. "Sam are you sure you're ok? You looked a bit out of it when I came in... you didn't even hear the door open. That's not like you. What's wrong?"
She pursed her lips and leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her desk and her face in her hands. "I don't know Daniel... I'm just so confused."
"Confused about what?" he asked, pulling up a chair by hers and reaching out to touch her arm. "What is it? You can tell me, Sam... you know that."
Sam looked up at him, her eyes dark and filled with confusion or uncertainty, maybe both. "It's dad... he said something and I just don't know what to do or think about it." She sighed in frustration, "Everything is just so complicated."
"What's complicated?" he inquired, searching her eyes for some sort of answer that she wasn't giving him.
"It's abo–" footfall cut her sentence short and she looked towards the entrance of the room, a frown forming on her face. "Can I help you with something, sir?" she questioned, turning her attention from Daniel to him.
General O'Neill shook his head much like Daniel had, but entered her office nonetheless. "You... uh... looked a bit upset when your father left. Is there something bothering you?"
Wow. This was a change. He was actually coming to her to have a real conversation, rather than avoiding her like the plague. Which, had been the case ever since she had accepted Pete's proposal. "No sir, I'm fine... just a bit tired, is all. Is there anything else?"
Daniel looked at her surprised, then turned his attention back to Jack, who shrugged in response. "No, Carter... that's all I guess."
"Thank you for your concern, sir. But, I'm fine."
The look on his face plainly told her that he didn't buy a word coming out of her mouth, but since Daniel was there he wasn't going to argue with her. He smiled lightly and left the room, leaving Daniel the job of figuring out what it was that was bothering her– knowing that the man would fill him in if need be. When Jack left Daniel turned to Sam, "What were you going to say, Sam?"
She shook her head, "Nothing... it's nothing."
God... love. Damn it, there was no way that there was nothing bothering her. Why couldn't she just tell him? "Sam... please don't lie to me. I know there's something wrong." he reached out to touch his arm again, and she looked up at him, her eyes betraying her calm and collected air force persona.
"I'm afraid, Dad. I don't know what to do."
"Every plan I had for my life went so unbelievably wrong," she finally confessed, her eyes downcast, looking anywhere but at him. "I had always imagined myself married and with children long before this point in my life... you know, the perfect husband, the perfect job, the perfect two story home with a white picket fence." Finally looking at him she sighed, "I guess one out of three isn't that bad."
He assumed she was talking about the job part. "What about Pete?"
"That's just it," she said, her voice coming out barely a whisper. "What about him?"
Well, what the hell was that supposed to mean? Daniel shook his head, "...I don't understand."
She took in a deep breath, "Neither do I... Daniel, my father said a lot of things to me earlier, and it got me thinking. What if I don't love Pete the way I thought I did? What if I only accepted his proposal because I wanted someone to come home to and somebody who I knew would always be there for me. What if I'm not happy...?" her voice broke and she looked down at her hands, pushing back to lump rising in her throat. "God, Daniel... how did I let things get this far?"
For the first time in his adult life, Daniel was speechless. Which, was probably because he had no clue what she was talking about, only that it concerned Pete and her relationship, and obviously her father as well. Did Jacob not approve of her engagement? Was that why she looked so upset after he left? "I... uh, Sam..." not knowing what else to do he gathered her into his arms, pulling her close. "Whatever it is, Sam... I want to help you."
Sam was a hair away from breaking down, and the fact that he was holding her like a broken rag doll wasn't really helping much, but it was comforting and at that point she didn't care if she did end up giving in and breaking down. Instinctively, her arms came around his body and she clung on, hiding her face in his chest. "Tell him." her father's voice rang in her head. "Tell him."
"Tell who?" she murmured into his shirt. "I'm afraid, Dad."
"God, Daniel..." she choked. "I'm afraid– I'm so afraid."
"Of what, Sam?" he questioned, keeping his hold on her tight. "What are you afraid of?"
"What if I'm making a mistake? What if, by accepting the proposal, I made the biggest mistake of my life?" she sighed into his chest. "I don't know what to do, I just don't... why don't I know what to do?"
"You're questioning your feelings for Pete?" he questioned, taking a stab in the dark, fumbling for a light.
She nodded.
"Listen to me, Sam," he said, pulling away to look at her. "I didn't have that much time with Sha're, but ever second of every day was a blessing and I would do nothing to change the life I shared with her. Even if I had the chance to go back and change things, to leave with Jack instead of staying on Abydos, I would still have stayed. The truth is, during that short amount of time I had with her, I was happier than I have ever been in my life, and I imagine that I'll never be that happy again. That's love... when you would do anything just to be with that person, no matter what the consequence."
"I don't..." her voice broke and she sighed. "I'm just not sure."
Daniel's heart went out to his friend. Samantha Carter never let her emotions show this much– at least, never to him. "What did your dad say to you, Sam?"
"It wasn't any one thing, Daniel... it was the entire conversation. It was just... a lot of the things he said made sense. God, they made so much sense it was scary, because how could he have known any of it? He hasn't been here in months, he didn't even know about our relationship... how could he have known as much as he did? How?" A confused look danced in her eyes, along with frustration and uncertainty, amidst a rainbow of other emotions that couldn't be separated from each other.
He wasn't very sure himself, having never been a father, nor really having one when he grew up, but one thing was certain. Jacob Carter knew what was best for his daughter, some how, he just knew. With a smile, he pushed a lock of hair behind her hair, "He's your father."
Yeah, well– that hadn't made any sense when Jacob himself had used it as a reason, so why would it make sense coming from Daniel? "What does that mean?"
"I don't know," he confessed, shaking his head.
"Daniel, I don't know what to do..." she rubbed her face with the palms of her hands and then ran her hands through her hair. "Dad doesn't think that Pete is the right guy for me, what if he isn't? What if I'm wasting my time with him?"
"Then stop," Daniel said. "If you think that your father is right, and Pete isn't the right guy for you– I mean, if you really believe it, then why continue to do so?" It was his turn to sigh, "Sam... I don't know what your father said to you, but I think I have an idea. By staying with Pete, you're keeping yourself rom the person who can really make you happy, all because of what? Rules? Regulations? Or... maybe, you're afraid of what will happen when you're finally happy. I don't know what it is. But, Sam– you deserve somebody who is going to love you with the same amount of passion and feeling as you love them... I don't think Pete makes the cut, honestly."
"I'm scared, Daniel..." she admitted, for what seemed like the millionth time that day.
"What are you scared of Sam? What could possibly make you so afraid?"
"He does," she said cryptically. "I've never... nobody can screw with my mind like he can. I've never needed somebody like this before, and it scares me." She looked away, and he saw a stubborn tear escape her eye and fall down her cheek.
Daniel smiled and turned her head so that she was looking at him again, then wiped the tear away. "That fear, Sam... that knot in the pit of your stomach, the lump rising in your throat– that's love."
Sam didn't answer him, instead she turned her head again, looking anywhere but at him. Was he right? Were the things her father and Daniel said really the truth?
Her fathers words echoed in her mind; "Sam, I know you have denied yourself the experience because you think it must inevitably end in pain and loneliness... And it has, every time before. But when it's right, when he is right, you'll know."
Oh, God... they were right.
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A/N:
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