Author's Note: The updates for this story might end up a little slow...class is starting up, and I won't have great access to a computer anymore, but I'll try my best to finish this and my other projects soon. My goal is to have this and three other fics finished before the end of October. Then I'll take a break for a while before starting up again. Probably will pick it up in December. We'll see how it goes, anyway.
As usual, reviews are appreciated!
Disclaimer & Warnings: Refer to first chapter.
Pairing: YoKen with hints of RanOmi.
Fic Note: So Ken has changed. Let's take a look at what he gave up.
Erstes Opfer: Gedächtnis
"Doctor...what happened to him?"
The doctor had come in after talking with the nurse, and he was frowning and flipping through his clipboard. "This is most unusual..."
"What is going on?"
"The memory loss is understandable...but it seems that he's having trouble with his vision as well."
"What do you mean?"
"The nurse said that in his response, sometimes he saw only color, and sometimes he could see the actual object."
"So then what you're saying is..."
"Something may be temporarily wrong with his vision...but that's the part I don't understand. Trauma is not the cause for loss of vision."
Yoji was frustrated. "Then what is the cause?"
The doctor flipped the pages back to the first page and sighed. "The cause, I cannot identify. You will have to bring him for occassional vision checks...I will let you take him home, but only if you promise to keep a close eye-"
"Of course," Yoji snapped, "I believe I've been keeping a close eye for a long time. I can handle this."
The doctor nodded. He filled out a card and handed it to Yoji. "Come back next month...we will have to check his progress monthly. I will make the appointment for you at the front, you just keep that card and come back when it says. If there is a drastic change that needs immediate attention, my personal office number is on the back, you call there and let me know right away."
Yoji flipped over both sides of the card and nodded. "All right..."
"Then I will be seeing you both soon..." the doctor said before leaving Yoji with Ken.
Yoji turned to Ken and eventually convinced him to get dressed. They left the hospital after another two hours.
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Yoji walked with Ken towards his convertible, one hand was holding Ken's, and the other arm was wrapped behind Ken's back and slightly along the waist, leading him. Ken was blushing. "Um...what did you say your name was again?"
Yoji winced a bit at this, but looked down and smiled at Ken. "Yoji...Yoji Kudou."
Ken nodded to himself. "And me...?"
Yoji fought not to let his tears fall. "Ken Hidaka."
Ken blushed. He liked the way Yoji said his name for some odd reason. He wasn't sure if that was normal. "Um...Yoji...?"
"Hm?"
"Is it normal to be walking to the car like this?"
Yoji almost laughed. "Of course it is, Ken. I'm simply leading you to the car, that's all."
Ken relaxed. "Oh...okay. Right."
They got into the car, and Yoji revved up the engine. They were gone from the hospital in five minutes. "So...where are we going?" Ken asked.
"To our house."
Ken looked at the road ahead and looked confused. "We live together?"
Yoji laughed. "Oh, that's right, I never told you, did I? After your old apartment was burned, you decided to buy a new one. Then you fell comatose..." Yoji made a turn into his street, "After that, I didn't want you to come back home to a rent sky high, so I gave you a room at my place. You don't mind, right?"
Ken gave a small smile. "No...I guess not."
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Ken jumped onto his bed childishly. Yoji cracked a small smile. Ken looked up at him with a big grin, causing Yoji to feel slight warmth in his heart. He had missed this man so much. He sat down next to the brunette and ruffled his hair. Ken froze and looked up at him questioningly. "Yoji...?"
Yoji smiled. "Hm...?"
Ken looked as if he was about to say something, then yawned. He smiled a sleepy smile. "I need to go to bed now...I need a shower too..."
Yoji laughed and helped Ken into bed, removing his shoes for him and tucking him in. "Don't worry. You can take a shower in the morning."
Ken yawned again and nodded slowly in agreement. "Yeah...okay..."
Yoji brushed his lips lightly over the brunette's head and turned off the light to the room, left the door slightly ajar, and started to slip into the bed beside Ken. He wrapped an arm around Ken when Ken started to squirm a bit. "Nngh...Yoji...?"
"Hm...?" Yoji was half-asleep himself.
"Don't you...don't you have another room or something?"
"Huh?" Yoji was a bit more awake now.
Ken groaned softly. "The bed is uncomfortable with you in it..."
"Oh...oh!" Yoji got up slowly and got out of the bed, looking a bit hurt, "I'm sorry..."
Ken turned over a bit and looked up at Yoji with tired eyes. "Hm...it's okay now..." he snuggled under the blankets, "Good night, Yoji..."
Yoji sighed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck before leaving the room. "Yeah...good night, I guess..."
"See you in the morning..." Ken whispered tiredly to no one, Yoji had already gone.
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Yoji woke up to the sweet aroma of breakfast. He looked at his clock. 6am. It was unheard of. He knew that Ken used to work the morning shifts at the flower shop, but he didn't think that Ken would keep up his early morning routines naturally. He got out of bed slowly. He had to get up anyway. Today was the day he had to bring Ken back to the flower shop. Ran and Omi had been ecstatic with his late night phone call of Ken's return, something Yoji did after Ken kicked him out. Ran hadn't been too happy at first about being woken up by the blond playboy so late at night, but after hearing the news about Ken, he was forgiving-but only slightly.
He peeked around the corner and looked through the open entrance of his kitchen. What he saw made him smile. Ken had borrowed Yoji's blue flower shop apron that he had left lying on his couch, and he was cooking breakfast. It was rice mixed with bits of egg. Ken was also baking some cookies, or something of the sort in the oven. It had been the cookies Yoji had been smelling. Standing up straight and out of his hiding spot, he leaned quietly at the entrance and waited for Ken to turn around and notice him, which the brunette soon did as he was pulling out the finished cookies. The shock written on Ken's face was amusing.
"Hi."
Yoji smirked and got closer to Ken. "Morning."
Ken soon got over his shock and smiled, returning to preparing the food. "Why don't you got have a seat, Yoji?"
Yoji half-smiled, nodded, and took a seat. He wasn't sure if Ken in his normal state would be this toned-down. It was almost eerie, like he was living with someone else, but he was determined to stick with his lover. Ken soon came with a tray of the rice bowls mixed with egg, and some vegetable soup. The cookies were set to the side, much to Yoji's dismay. Ken smiled at him. "You can eat those at the very end with some milk."
Yoji pouted, "I want to taste them warm!"
Ken laughed. "Sorry! You're going to have to wait until after you finish your main meal."
Yoji sighed. For a minute, he forgot that Ken probably didn't remember what he was like in the past. "You were always such a health freak..." Yoji said slowly, eating the tasty food while remembering what had been inside Ken's old refridgerator.
Ken blinked and seemed to space out into the distance. "Really...? Have I always been like this...? No wonder it felt so natural to feel disgusted by looking through your junk-food filled refridgerator. I mean honestly, who can survive off of so many frozen foods and ramen? It's not healthy!"
Yoji had stopped listening after Ken had said his second sentence. He frowned. "You don't remember what you were like?"
Ken's eyes refocused on Yoji and he smiled sheepishly. "Actually...I don't remember a whole lot."
Yoji's eyes widened slightly. "Did you recognize anything you saw in your room this morning? Did it trigger any memories?"
Ken frowned for a moment, chewing on his chopsticks as if contemplating, then shook his head. "I don't think so..."
"Not even the soccer stuff?" Yoji was a bit exasperated now, remembering the day Ken had almost completely shattered when he had thought his treasured possessions would be gone forever.
Ken blinked and then laughed. "So that's what that was?"
Yoji felt his jaw drop a bit. Suddenly, he wasn't so hungry. He forced down the rest of the food, and then moved his chair closer to Ken. He looked at the brunette intensely, causing the other to widen his eyes in confusion. "Um...Yoji? What's wrong?"
"You don't remember soccer?" Yoji looked into Ken's eyes seriously, making sure this wasn't a foul joke.
Ken slowly shook his head. "Um...no...?"
Yoji never thought he would hear that coming from the former soccer player's mouth. He grabbed Ken's arm and dragged him to his room. "Hey!" Ken whined, "I wasn't finished with breakfast!"
"Finish it later," Yoji said before dragging Ken into his room.
He opened the closet filled with Ken's old soccer clothes and some new ones along with some regular clothes that Yoji had been able to salvage. Ken stared at Yoji in quesiton, then back at the closet. "Um...why are we looking at this?"
"They're your clothes. Pick something to wear. We've got to go."
Ken nodded slowly. "But go where?"
"To meet everyone else you were friends with before you were...you know."
"Oh! Okay," Ken reached for the clothes right next to his favorite soccer jerseys.
Yoji's eyes widened. "You have got to be kidding me..." he muttered.
Ken turned and raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"
Yoji shook his head. "Why not the jersey?"
Ken wrinkled his nose. "Go out in that? That's casual! If I'm meeting people, I've got to look nice."
Yoji wanted to just shake Ken and force him to snap back to his senses. Three years ago, soccer jerseys were Ken's definition of dressing nice. He let Ken get into the bathroom to change, and then he grabbed Ken's arm. "All right. We're going."
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"Why are they so close like that...?" Ken spoke softly as they were getting out of the car and walking towards the entrance of the flower shop.
Yoji looked up. Ken was talking about Ran being behind Omi and helping him pat down the soil for the plant they were working on. He half-smiled. "They're just helping each other out."
Ken looked confused. "But why are they so close?"
"They're in love, Ken. Don't you remember? Don't they look familiar to you?"
Ken thought for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "No...they don't really," he smiled, "But at least they look happy! Do you really think we should interrupt them though?"
"Since it's you, they definetly won't mind. Come on," Yoji opened the door to the flower shop and stepped in, pushing Ken in as well.
Ran and Omi both backed away from each other quickly, thinking it was a customer. Ken found this funny and laughed. It sent ripples of calm through Yoji. If there was one thing that didn't change, it was Ken's laugh. Recognizing the laugh and not believing it, both slowly looked at the entrance. Ran's eyes widened slightly as he leaned back to grip a table, and Omi was shocked at first, then ran up to Ken and hugged him.
"Ken-kun!" Omi shouted happily.
Ken smiled a small smile. "Um...hi?"
Omi stepped back and looked at Ken happily, holding the other boy's wrists up. "It's really you! Isn't it really him, Yoji?" Omi asked, looking at the blond, "You didn't bring in some look-alike?"
Yoji smiled. "No...not entirely."
Omi blinked. "Huh?"
At that moment, Ken groaned as he held his head. Immediately the three Weiss were around him. "Ken-kun, what is it?" Omi asked worriedly.
Ken slowly opened his eyes and saw nothing but a blur of color. He reached out blindly, tilting to the side a little from the pain in his head and the lack of orientation. All the excitement had surprised Ken, and it had caused this reaction. Yoji caught him as he passed out. They took him down to the basement and placed him on the couch. The rest of the Weiss then went back upstairs to one of the tables and sat down.
Ran crossed his arms and stared at Yoji. "Explain."
Yoji looked away a moment from Omi's expectant face and Ran's penetrating gaze. "He has no memory..."
Omi gasped. "He doesn't remember us?"
Yoji laughed a bit bitterly, nodding. "And he doesn't remember me either...or any of himself."
"What do you mean, he doesn't remember any of himself?" Omi asked.
Yoji sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Like soccer. This morning, he wasn't interested in his soccer jerseys. He didn't even remember how to play the game."
Ran raised an eyebrow. "He loves soccer...I've watched him."
"Well, you can ask him about it, but I doubt you'll get a different response. He just doesn't remember."
Omi patted one of Yoji's hands. "I'm sure he'll come around soon..."
"Yeah, well until then, living with him is like living with a totally different person...we can't excite him with memories that he can't recall...he might get frustrated. And there are some things that probably aren't worth mentioning..." that was something they all agreed on.
Inwardly, they all decided not to remind Ken of Weiss, of his break with Ran, the whole incident with Schuldich, or any other things that had gone terribly wrong for Ken. They were all quiet for a moment. The sound of the clock ticking was suddenly very loud in all their ears. Yoji finally broke the silence. "That isn't all."
The other two stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. Yoji sighed. "Next month...Ken has to go back to the hospital, and he has to go back every month after that, at least once."
"Nani! Why?" Omi asked.
Yoji half-smiled. "His vision."
"What? What about his vision?"
"Sometimes he can't see well. They said sometimes he only saw a mess of colors, nothing more. Other times, he can see us just fine."
Ran let out a soft sigh. "What else."
"I don't know what else...only time will tell that much, I guess."
The clock struck 10am. The first customer walked through the door, and the three Weiss got up to greet the person, all with half a heart.
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"How does it look, doctor?"
"No dramatic changes, but he still gets the same response. Though now he has headaches with each response."
"Can it be fixed?"
"Painkillers for the headaches. The vision problem still doesn't make sense. There is no apparent cause for it."
"..."
"Yoji!"
"Oh...! Ken! You're ready to go?"
A smile. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"All right...let's go. Thank you, doctor."
"Take care..."
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Several months had passed since Ken's first eye exam. After that, each following exam showed gradual change in Ken's eyesight. Ken was starting to see more dark than colors and definte shapes. Yoji was getting worried that the vision loss may not have been temporary after all.
Today was the day of the big move for the Weiss flower shop. Ran had insisted on watching over Ken, so Yoji could take a sort of break from the ordeal and help set up the new shop. Meanwhile, Ran had driven Ken to his once favorite soccer field, where he had used to watch the brunette practice on some of their dates in the past. He was hoping to revive some memory. Taking Ken out to the field, he set a soccer ball down at Ken's feet. Ken looked down at the ball and could see it's fuzzy outline. His vision wasn't that bad at the moment.
"What's this, Ran?" Ken asked.
Ran half-smiled. At least when Ken didn't remember anything, he was okay with calling him by his real name. "It's a soccer ball, Ken."
"Oh! I know, but I was wondering what you wanted me to do with it?"
Ran let a small smile form. "We'll play a game."
"A game?"
"Yes. We'll pass it back and forth to each other."
"Oh, okay! How do we start?"
"You kick the ball down that way...and I'll go after it and kick it back. Then you'll have to run after it too."
Ken smiled. "Okay!" he said before kicking the ball hard.
Ran ran after the ball and kicked it back towards Ken, who sped with natural grace down the field to return the ball to Ran. It was breathtaking. Until Ken got bored. Ran couldn't believe it. Ken had never gotten tired of the game before. "You love this game..."
Ken blinked. "I do? I guess my interests changed a little..."
Ran couldn't believe what he was hearing. Ken without soccer wasn't really Ken at all. "Living with him is like living with a totally different person..." Yoji had said.
Now Ran could understand a little. He frowned slightly, which Ken noticed. He took the ball from Ran and kicked it back out into the field. He didn't want to make his friend unhappy. "Let's play another round, though."
Ran looked at Ken in question. "I thought you were tired of-"
Ken shook his head. "You know? I don't know what I was thinking. I love this game!" Ken smiled.
Ran was relieved. "So you do remember..."
Ken nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I do..." he said before watching Ran run off to get the ball.
Ken was realizing that he would have to put bits and pieces of his friends' memories together and pretend that he was actually remembering things. It seemed to upset his friends otherwise, especially Yoji. He didn't understand why the man wanted to get so close to him all the time, but he knew that he probably meant a lot to Yoji, for some odd reason. While he was contemplating all this, he wasn't prepared for the soccer ball which came spiraling back, hitting him hard on the head. He fell face forward to the ground and held his head, a splitting headache occuring. He heard Ran running over to him.
"Ken! Ken! Are you all right?"
Ken looked up a bit, and searched for colors that looked like skin so he could look at Ran and pretend he was fine. All he saw was a blur of green and blue, however. And now the blurs were getting quite dark. "Ken?" Ran's urgent voice pierced the darkness he was seeing, "Ken, answer me, are you all right?"
"Yeah...I think..." Ken said softly, he wasn't sure if he was still awake or if he was talking in a dream.
The colors were starting to fade as he felt Ran lift him up and take him somewhere. At least, he thought it was Ran. He felt the car he was now in start up and move, and he felt a small panic forming in his throat. "Ran...?" he spoke cautiously.
"Don't worry, Ken, I'm taking you back to the shop, to Yoji and Omi," Ran replied.
Ken relaxed at the sound of Ran's voice and the fact that he was being taken back to Yoji. He felt a bit safer somehow. He was even less afraid as soon the world was enveloped into darkness as he passed out.
Except, Ken was awake.
But Ken didn't know that. All he could see was black, and black he associated with sleep. So he remained silent for the rest of the ride.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Saiki.Kensuke.Yuuta: Onto the creation of the next chapter! Hopefully I don't take too long, right? XD Stupid wordpad...this comp doesn't have a regular ms word program, so none of my emoticons will show up here. Except for that one...XD Haha, there it is again! Okay...okay...I'm going, I'm going. I shall write more to satisfy the reader. Hahaha.
