Title: Safe Bet

Chapter: The Best Kind of Therapy

Summary: Hadn't she always said she would be a young mother? Having her first child no later than 26 years old? What had happened to that dream?

Spoilers: Grace, yet again.

Disclaimer: Nuh uh, not mine. Maybe some day...

XXXX

Sam and Daniel sat in an uncomfortable silence for nearly five minutes before the archeologist finally came to the conclusion that either she wasn't going to talk to him at that moment, or she was too busy thinking what he and her father said to even recognize that he was still in the room with her. Somehow, the second seemed a bit more plausible to him. Without a word, he got up from his chair and headed out the room, pausing only slightly to glance over her shoulder and see if she had noticed him leaving. She hadn't, as he had expected, so he continued through the door and into the corridor. From there he headed to Jack's office. Not to tell him about the things that he and Sam had discussed, because what the two had talked about was extremely private and something that he would keep to himself until Sam told him otherwise. As far as he knew, she had told him those things simply because she had the upmost confidence that he wouldn't blab it to everyone on the base, and he didn't think that she would be partial to letting anybody else knowing her most secret thoughts.

Instead, he was headed to see O'Neill because he knew that the man had been worried about her, much as he, himself had been. Jack had gone so far as to confront her about it, and Daniel knew how hard that must have been for him, knowing his feelings for her. Daniel would simply inform the general that Sam was going to be fine, she just needed to be alone for a bit– and not to ask him, or her, about it, when the time was right he would know. At least, Daniel hoped that he would...

Jack was waiting for him when he knocked on the door, pushing it open slightly and sticking his head through the gap. He waved him in, a concerned expression on his face, and gestured for the younger man to have a seat, to which Daniel complied. "How is she?" he questioned, skipping the small talk and nervous banter. There was no time for such things, as far as he was concerned.

"She's fine, Jack," the archeologist assured him. "Although, I wouldn't go barging into her office and questioning her anytime soon... she needs some time alone, there's a lot of things on her plate. Trust me on this one Jack, give her some space for the moment. When she's ready for you to know what is bothering her, you'll know what's bothering her. Until then... be patient."

The general seemed to take the speech easily, and had the grace to nod understandingly, although he wanted to argue. The hell he should wait for her to tell him, he was her CO, more than that– her friend, what could be so bad that she couldn't, or wouldn't, tell him? Daniel was way smarter than he was when dealing with people, though, so he had learned to take what the man said with stride... for the most part. But, it seemed that this would one of those times where he just had to listen to Daniel, even though he didn't like it. "Is it really that bad?"

Daniel gave his friend a look that plainly said he wasn't getting any further into that particular conversation than he already had. "I've already said more than I should, Jack... I'm sorry. I didn't want you to be worried, though."

"Yeah," he sighed, "well... too late for that."

XXXX

It was funny, in a strange sort of way. She hadn't even noticed that he was gone, until the door to her office slid open with a hiss and he came walking through. Had she really been that deep in thought, that everything around her had simply faded into the background, out of sight and out of mind? How long had he waited before leaving her office? How long had she been sitting there, staring into space? He strode across the room and claimed the seat he had once occupied once again.

"Hey," she greeted, her voice thick and raspy. "Where did you go?"

"I went to see Jack," he informed her, with a bit of hesitance. Her face must have showed the horror she was feeling because he quickly added on to his first statement. "Just to tell him that you're fine, and ask him to give you a day's downtime."

"What?" she questioned, suddenly feeling defensive, "Daniel, I don't need any downtime."

"Yes, you do," he replied quickly. "You've got way too much on your mind to be doing anything strenuous or thought-consuming. A nice, quiet evening at home will do you some good. Trust me."

"I will always be there for you. No matter what... Trust me."

Sam sighed, wondering where the hell that came from and why she was suddenly thinking about her time spent alone on the Prometheus. Especially when it had been months since the last time she had been bombarded by images and memories from that experience. Sure, every now and then she would think about her time spent on the ship, but it had been awhile since a random sentence popped into her head. "Maybe you're right..."

Daniel had observed Sam's inward struggle, and nodded, "You want me to take you?"

She shook her head, "No... I'm fine to go. Thank you, Daniel– for everything."

"Don't mention it," he told her. "That's what friends are for."

When Sam cringed Daniel was a bit concerned, but he didn't allow her to see his worries. Instead, he pulled her into a hug, squeezing her comfortingly, and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek. "You take care, Sam. I don't want to see you on this base until the day after tomorrow."

"Ok," she smiled lightly and stood up from her chair, grabbing her laptop and keys. Her mind was buzzing from Daniel's previous comment.

"That's what friends are for."

"Friends..."

"Hey, this is you talking here. Might as well be honest."

When Sam was a safe distance away from Daniel she allowed herself to snort. Friends, eh? That's all they were... friends. With her luck, they would never be anything other than such. But, Daniel and her father couldn't both be wrong... could they? As she boarded the elevator she glanced down at her hand, suddenly curious as to why she never wore her engagement ring. Sure, she told herself (and anyone who asked) that it was because it got in the way of her work. Not only did it slip when she was experimenting with some new alien technology, but it made brandishing any kind of firearm that much more complicated, as well as glinting in the sunlight. The last thing she needed off-world was some over-zealous Jaffa noticing the diamond catching light. But, what she didn't admit was that she never wore it at home, either, or when she went out anywhere. In fact, the only time it was ever on was when Pete was in town...

It was uncomfortable, not the ring itself, but the situation it forced her into. At first, she wore it every day, and because of it she was confronted many times about her availability. Not people asking because they wanted to see If they had a shot at her, but because they wanted to know all about the lucky guy. Although they didn't give her any reason to believe so, she could tell they were comparing Pete to Jack when she spoke of him. And Sam herself had done so many times, and each time Pete fell short of the general... very short.

More than that, he was always staring at it. Whenever she was in a briefing and noticed that he wasn't paying attention, he was always looking at that damn ring. And, though his face never showed sings of disgust his eyes could not hide it. He never had been all that great at hiding his emotions, at least when it came to his eyes... and her. As far as Sam knew, he was aware of this.

The ding of the elevator tore her out of her thoughts and she exited it as soon as the doors open, only to walk across the room and board another. There, she was once again alone, and able to run her many thoughts through her mind in an attempt to sort them out. With a heavy sigh she leaned against the metal walls of the elevator, allowing her eyes to drift close for the moment. As the device climbed up the mountain she made a mental note to call Daniel and thank him once more for getting her some time off. She wasn't even out of the mountain yet, and already the distance was making her feel much better.

Her last destination was reached and the metal doors slid open, causing her to open her eyes once more. She left the complex, smilingly lightly at those SF's and airmen who nodded at her with acknowledgment, the last thing she was in the mood for was small talk, and normally she would have stopped at chatted with the few of them she knew. Today, though, she was going to stick to an anti-social kick. She had enough conversation to last her a week, as far as she was concerned.

She climbed into her silver Toyota, sinking into the soft seat, and sighed in relief. For the next 36 hours she could be completely alone, shut off from anyone and everyone who would attempt to cheer her up. Jamming her key into the ignition she turned it, smiling at the sound of her engine revving up, and briefly wondering if the weather would be this nice the next day. If so, she had a feeling she would be spending it driving around on her Indian, rather than being cooped up in her home. The thought brought a smile to her face, that was exactly the kind of therapy she needed. A nice, breezing late March afternoon, nothing but the wind on her face and the road in front of her.

The ride home was quiet, but comfortable, and she stopped at the Burger King close to her house and picked up some lunch. From there she headed home, but at the last minute decided against it and took off for the lake-side park that was just down the street from where she lived. The water would be cold, but it was a beautiful day, the sun shining at the temperature just slightly above 60 degrees, she could always sit in the sand by the man-made shore and let the breeze tangle her hair. That, too, sounded like the perfect therapy.

Moore's Lake park was almost empty when she pulled up along side it. There were a few young mothers watching their children (all under the age of five, since it was a school day) play on the swings and fly down the slides. Something in her yearned to be like the women there, who all seemed to be younger than she was. Hadn't she always said she would be a young mother? Having her first child no later than 26 years old? What had happened to that dream?

With a snort she headed for the dock, deciding against the sand for the moment. Jonas had happened to that dream. Then, another dream, a more unbelievable one, had replaced it. She was 27 and bright-eyed, spitting out theories about the Stargate and forming a new dream, to not just work on the device, but to one day travel through it. That had to beat motherhood, right?

That's where she was wrong, though. Nothing could take over the natural instinct to want to have a child. No matter how extravagant her new dreams were, they would never compare to the wonder of creating life, then watching it grow and mature. Now she was wondering if that particular dream would ever become a reality. A the rate she was going she didn't think so.

A shout of surprise, then a loud crash caught her attention and she turned around just in time to see a little boy tumble down a slide, landing in an awkward heap on the ground in front of it. A dark haired woman cried out, then ran as fast as she could (which, looked fairly fast to Sam) towards the young boy, and though Sam was far away she could see the worried look on her face.

Sam couldn't help herself, curiosity killed the cat, as it were, and she found herself walking back towards the sene of the accident. Like moths to a light all the other mothers did the same, cradling their own children in the arms if they could. Sam, being closer than most of them, made it to the mother and her son first. "Is everything alright, Ma'am?"

The woman shook her head, worry clouding her bright, hazel eyes. "I think he's broke his arm."

Looking down at the young boy Sam couldn't help but wince, oh yeah... his arm was certainly broke. "I'll call an ambulance."

"Thank you," the woman said, pulling her crying son into her arms carefully. "Shh... it's ok Caden," she whispered into the boys ear. "Mommy's here... it's ok."

He sniffled, choking back a sob, because mommy had started to cry and he didn't like it when mommy cried. A few minutes later, an ambulance pulled up and three EMT's rushed over to the boy and his mother, helping him back to the ambulance where they would undoubtably splint it. The woman thanked Sam once more before rushing off with her son, leaving the colonel and a bunch of anxious mothers in her wake.

Many of them cut their losses and left the park, sure that if one little boy could get hurt, theirs could as well. Some stayed behind, watching their children like hawks and running to them at the slightest fumble or misstep. Sam, herself, watched the kids for a moment before heading back towards the dock, once again ready for the time alone. When she reached the end she sat down, pulling off her shoes and rolling up the ends of her pants, before sticking her feet into the water. "Yikes," she mumbled, pulling them back out. So, maybe March was still a bit early for the water to be warmed up. She should have known.

Instead of putting her shoes back on, she simply picked them up and traveled down the dock, deciding that the sand was probably a lot more agreeable that time of year. Turned out, she was right, the sand wasn't warm, but neither was it cold, and she found herself sighing with the sensation. This was downtime. She walked for a minute or so, releasing in the feel of sand between her toes, then sat down to stare out over the calm waters.

In the back of her mind she wondered if somewhere out there an alternate version of herself was at home, cooing and cuddling a child in her arms, her child. The thought brought a smile to her lips, maybe a few of the Carter's out there had seen her dream through. More than that particular one, she wondered how many of those Mother Carter's had a bouncing baby boy with chocolate brown eyes that sparkled with humor. That thought sent chills down her spine, and an even broader grin to her lips. But, as soon as the smile appeared it was gone.

Somehow, an alternate Carter having all the things she had ever dreamed of just didn't seem like enough to her.