Author's Note: The last chapter probably seemed real short and underdeveloped, but I didn't really have much to say there. Hahaha. I think this chapter is going to be a bit short also, but it should pick up after here.
Disclaimer & Warnings: Refer to first chapter.
Pairing: YoKen-centric here.
Fic Note: I think this is the most obvious of the three sacrifices.
Drittes Opfer: Neigung
He wasn't sure if he was dreaming, awake, or in-between. He felt one of his hands holding on to someone else's. He opened his eyes. In a room of white with no entrances and no exits. Just snowy white bed, a window with light shining through, and someone sitting in a white chair beside him. Looking to his left, he saw a blond sleeping beside him in the chair, holding his hand. He smiled and reached over to wake the other man when everything seemed to turn pitch black. He withdrew his hand, disappointed and confused.
Ken opened his eyes and woke up the minute Yoji had adjusted himself in his sleep, his hand gripping Ken's painfully tight. Ken wondered where he was. Perhaps in the hospital. But that didn't explain who was sitting beside him. He thought for a moment, and yesterday flowed back to him. He had lost his vision. He had felt tired. He had fallen asleep in Yoji's car. After that, Ken must have kept on sleeping all day and all night. It was probably morning now. He reached over and patted the hand that was holding his other one tightly. "Yoji...?" he whispered tiredly.
"Hnnn..." Ken felt Yoji move again, slightly.
"Yoji...! Hey, get up, please? You're holding my hand too tight...it hurts," Ken whispered.
He got an immediate reaction after the word 'hurts'. "Hnnn!" Yoji moved and his grip released on Ken's hand.
Ken smiled as he heard Yoji yawn. He stifled a laugh when he heard the concern in Yoji's voice. "What's wrong? Are you all right, Ken?"
Ken nodded. "Yeah."
"You said something hurt, what is it?"
This time, Ken couldn't hold back his laugh. "I'm sorry. You were holding my hand too tight," a frown slowly formed on his face, "Why were you holding it, anyway?"
Yoji ruffled Ken's hair. "Because I care about you, that's why."
"But it still doesn't explain why you held-"
Yoji sighed. "Because I love you, Ken."
That made Ken gasp softly. Ever since he had come out of the hospital, this man had remained very close to him. Ken had been constantly wondering why the man had insisted being so close. He knew the older man had been dropping hints of this emotion of love here and there, but Ken chose to ignore the advances in case he was wrong. He had always thought that living in the same house was a bit strange too. Ken felt his face get flushed. "You...you...what?"
"I said that I love you."
Ken lowered his head. "I...I don't understand..." he whispered.
Yoji laughed. "What do you mean you don't understand? What, do I have to show you?"
Before Ken could respond, Yoji leaned over and pressed his mouth against Ken's gently, causing Ken's mouth to open in surprise as he took in a small intake of air. He couldn't see Yoji, so he hadn't been expecting Yoji to advance like that. Yoji misunderstood his reaction and began to kiss Ken passionately. He soon stopped, however, when he realized that Ken wasn't responding. In fact, Ken was pretty frozen. Yoji raised an eyebrow at Ken. "Ken...? What's wrong? You look upset."
Ken couldn't speak at first, but then he found his voice. His mind was confused again. "Yoji...why...why did you do that?"
Now Yoji was the one confused. "I love you, Ken," was all he could think of saying to explain.
Ken held his head, confused. He was a bit frustrated that he couldn't see Yoji's face. He wasn't sure if this was just a cruel joke. Needless to say he wasn't disgusted by the kiss, but he didn't understand the feelings behind the kiss either. "Yoji..." Ken whispered after a while, "Before I went to the hospital...what...what werewe?"
Yoji wanted to slap his forehead. He had been so run-down and tired these days, he kept forgetting that even though Ken showed signs of slowly remembering certain things, he didn't remember others. Yoji realized with a twinge of sadness that Ken didn't remember their relationship. Yoji brushed away some of Ken's hair from his face, but winced as that action caused Ken to slightly flinch away. Yoji withdrew his hand. "Tell me...what were we...?" Ken asked again.
Yoji put his hand down, but kept it nearby Ken's hand. "Before...and even now...I see you as my love, and my everything."
Ken nodded and then frowned a bit. "But then, what about me? Did I love you too?"
Yoji laughed softly. "I know that I love you...and you knew it too...then. We did many things together. I declared my love...but I never got my answer."
Ken was silent, contemplating. "We did things together," Yoji continued gently, "And I made you laugh, and you brought back my smile...but I never got a chance to ask how you really felt...I always assumed that you reciprocated my feelings..."
Ken allowed Yoji to take his hand. Ken didn't respond, however, he was still thinking-taking all of this new information in. Yoji lifted his hand and Ken felt Yoji's lips brush lightly over it, sending small warm tingles down his spine. "I wish...I wish you could remember so I could know your answer now..."
Ken half-smiled. "I wish I could remember so I could at least tell you…"
He paused and waited for Yoji's response. Hearing none for what seemed like ages, since he didn't have his vision to aid him with guessing at time change, he tried searching for Yoji's familiar hand. He was getting good at being able to tell whose hand was whose. Ran had the coldest hands, second to his own. Though he was well known for his warm personality, Ken had one of the coldest physical temperatures. Omi's hands were small and cautiousness radiated off them. Yoji's was kind, accepting, and most of all-they were warm.
Yoji met him halfway into his search and squeezed the brunette's hand gently. "It's all right, Ken," he whispered, "You don't ever have to feel the same way…my feelings will not change for you. I'll just take care of you until your vision clears. If you don't want even that, I'll find you someplace more comfortable to-"
Ken squeezed Yoji's hand. Yoji clamped his mouth shut. Ken smiled a little. "It's okay! I don't mind staying here with you…"
Yoji was a bit surprised at Ken's sudden directness and cheer. A part of the old Ken was resurfacing before him, but that boy was gone again as the more mature one took the place of the first once more as he sunk under his covers a bit. Ken was tired. Yoji tucked Ken in a bit more before getting up to leave Ken alone for his rest.
Yoji got up to leave when he felt Ken's hand wrapped around his wrist. Yoji looked back at Ken questioningly. Ken was lying on his back with his eyes closed, his lips curling into a small and innocent smile. "Yoji…"
"Hm?"
"I can't tell you anything else for certain…but I can tell you…that I believe that even if I didn't think of you as someone I loved…I still know my opinion of you would be the same."
Yoji sighed and half-smiled, ruffling his own hair with his free hand. "And that would be…?"
Ken laughed softly, but his lips hinted at his seriousness. "I believe…" he paused for a moment, making sure he wasn't wording anything strangely, "I believe…that I would still consider you a great friend. The one I would most prefer talking to in our small family of friends…because I am most at ease when I'm with you."
Yoji didn't know whether to be flattered, or to feel a bit odd at the way Ken had worded his sentences. They were quite advanced for the Ken he once knew. He chuckled a bit, bent down, and ruffled Ken's hair, brushing his lips lightly over the brunette's forehead. "Thank you…" Yoji whispered.
Ken smiled. Yoji started to go again, but realized Ken was still holding onto him. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Ken. "Ken? Is something the matter?"
Ken frowned slightly for a moment, then let go of Yoji's wrist and laughed sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was expecting…"
Yoji chuckled. "I see. I understand, it's all right, Ken."
Ken listened silently as he heard Yoji leave the room and heard the click of the door as it closed. He sighed. So Yoji loved him. Ken didn't know what to think about that.
------------------------------------------------
Yoji almost flipped out when he heard the clang of pots and the clashing of plates hitting the ground at six in the morning. Wearing nothing but his boxers, he skidded out of his room and rushed toward the kitchen and felt his heart practically stop when he saw Ken squat, appearing unsure whether or not to attempt to pick up the broken pieces of the fallen dishes. Yoji rushed to Ken's side, taking great care not to get nicked by glass. Ken looked up in his direction in fear.
"Yoji…"
Yoji was furious. He desperately wished Ken could see his pissed off face at that moment. "What…in the world do you think you're doing, Ken…!" he growled.
Yoji's expression softened when he noticed Ken was shaking a little from the shock that he had broken something. He held Ken to help control the boy's shaking body. Ken leaned into Yoji and let a few silent tears fall. The loud noises he had created and the fact that he was surrounded by sharp objects with no definite guarantee that he could get out of it without getting something stuck in his skin had scared Ken to death. Yoji sighed and ruffled Ken's hair while the brunette continued to remain in his embrace. "I-I'm so s-sor-" Ken took in a short intake of breath, unable to finish.
Yoji chuckled softly. "You were scared pretty bad, huh?"
He felt Ken nod against him. Yoji laughed. "So why did you come to the kitchen on your own? You know it's hard when you can't see…I don't mind getting up for you early in the morning to help you if you want something to eat…"
Ken said something so softly, Yoji could barely hear. "What was that?" Yoji asked.
Ken spoke a bit louder, "You hate getting up early…"
Yoji laughed again. "Well, for you, I don't mind. I make exceptions too, you know. I'm not unfair."
He felt Ken smile. That was relief to Yoji. He didn't like Ken when he was so afraid and vulnerable, especially since Ken didn't hold any emotion back. He was always so honest about his emotions. A quality that resulted in Yoji not being able to be angry at him for more than two seconds at a time.
After Ken had shown signs of completely calming down, Yoji surprised Ken by lifting him up, holding his back and under his legs. Yoji carried Ken to the couch in the living room, taking great care not to step on any of the sharp shards. He placed Ken on the couch and sat next to the boy, shivering a little because of the cold are of the room on his bare skin. He wiped away a few strands of hair from Ken's face. Yoji half-smiled, amused. Ken still seemed in a daze about his accident.
"So tell me, KenKen," Yoji said in a teasing voice, "Why were you in the kitchen so bright and early this morning?"
Ken looked in the direction of where Yoji's voice had come from. He smiled a shy smile. "I wanted to make you breakfast."
"Nani!" Yoji wanted to slap his forehead, "You cannot see anything, you haven't memorized my house or the way I've placed things, you can't tell how close your hands get to the stove and you still try making me breakfast? Honestly, Ken, you are impossible."
Ken's eyes were a bit wide with fear. "Are you angry I broke a lot…?"
Yoji was going to joke and say he was angry, but he didn't think that messing with Ken's head was a good idea in his sensitive state. Then again, Yoji mused, Ken was always in some kind of sensitive state. Yoji smiled at Ken, and somehow, Ken felt Yoji's smile and relaxed. Even though he was blind, for some reason, out of all the people he knew or had been reintroduced to, he could only seem to see Yoji clearly and understand Yoji clearly in his mind.
"No Ken, I'm not angry. But I appreciate your concern for making me something other than junk food."
Ken laughed at this. Yoji felt a flutter in his heart. That was Ken's old laugh, not the laughter that this new Ken usually gave him. It came from deep within him instead of his throat. Yoji liked that. Ken reached out for Yoji's hand, and Yoji took Ken's hand. Ken sighed. Yoji raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Ken?"
"I…I wish I could still make you breakfast."
Yoji smiled. "You really want to make breakfast for me?"
Ken nodded. "All right then. You wait here a few minutes and let me go clean up the kitchen and get dressed."
Ken blushed furiously. "What do you mean, get dressed?"
Yoji laughed. "I'm a bit cold right now…"
Ken scrunched his face into an innocent look of honest confusion as he asked his next question. "So then, what are you wearing? I mean, it's not that cold in this house."
Yoji blushed a bit. "Well…I'm kind of…lack of clothing right now."
Now it was Ken turning beet red. "So what you're saying is-"
Yoji raised his hands. "Oh! No, no, no! I'm wearing boxers but uh…that's about it."
Ken froze and then blushing furiously, he turned his body to face the other direction. "Oh! Okay! Um…you go get changed then!"
Yoji laughed and got up. "Yeah, all right. I'll be back in a few minutes, love."
Ken heard Yoji leave the living room and swing open the door to his room. Ken curled up into a ball slightly. "Love…" he whispered to himself.
------------------------------------------------
After Yoji made sure the floors were clear of all debris, he led Ken back into the kitchen. He was amused to see that Ken was far more cautious about his venture this time. He led Ken to the middle of his kitchen. He dropped his hands and let Ken stand on his own, but smiled a bit as Ken turned and tried to find Yoji, grabbing a hold of him again for security. Yoji accepted him with his whole heart. Ken smiled nervously. "So…how are we doing this again?"
Yoji smiled. "Well, first, you tell me what to help you get. Then I'll help you cook."
Ken crinkled his nose. "That's the part I don't understand. How is that possible?"
Yoji laughed. "You'll see, Ken. Just start instructing me, and I'll help you out."
Ken nodded. "Um…okay…so I was thinking about some dumplings…I think there were some frozen ones in the freezer. I felt them."
"Oh! I know the one's you're talking about. Wait a moment," Yoji moved to get the dumplings from the freezer, "Hey, Ken?"
"Huh? Yeah?"
Yoji smiled. "Do you think you could make me those cookies? They were so delicious last time. I bought more cookie dough too."
Ken smiled nervously back at the wall in front of him. "Yeah? Okay. I guess so."
Yoji came back with the supplies and looked at Ken seriously. Ken felt Yoji's gaze and looked away slightly, blushing. "Ken, honestly, if you don't want to make something, just tell me so."
Ken smiled a bit more confidently in what he assumed was Yoji's direction. "Don't worry, Yoji. I don't mind making it for you, I just don't know how I'll be able to-"
Yoji pulled Ken into a tight hug, surprising and silencing Ken for a moment. "You'll learn," Yoji said to Ken with strong confidence.
Ken blushed and smiled. "Yeah? I hope so…"
Yoji pulled away from Ken. "All right, master chef! Where do we start?"
"Well…" Ken thought a moment then smiled, "We gotta boil up the water."
Yoji nodded. "Right. Let's go boil up some water."
He set up everything the way Ken wanted it, and after pouring the dumplings in, and while they were waiting for the cooking to finish, Yoji was helping Ken make the cookies. Ken had felt awkward at first, but Ken eventually got used to it, and pretty quickly. All Yoji was doing was intertwining his hands with Ken's, and moving Ken's hands for him to grab the objects necessary to flatten the dough or cut it. Technically Ken was still cooking, but with help. Ken smiled at Yoji's logic.
They cooked together happily. Their movements became well timed with each other, and they were no longer fumbling for the right timing. Soon Yoji's face was leaning on Ken's shoulder, and Ken was leaning back, relaxing his body against Yoji. Neither thought for a moment that this was awkward at all until it was time to eat breakfast, and then there was the slightly uncomfortable transition from being comfortable together to being simply friends. A bit disappointing to the both of them. The mood brightened, however, when they started eating their food, and Yoji was complimenting a flustered Ken on his cooking ability. Ken insisted that Yoji had done the brunt of the work, but Yoji would hear none of it.
They didn't spend the rest of the day interacting much, but the morning's mood settled within them, and they were on very comfortable terms with each other when bypassing the each other in the house. The rest of the day was filled with quiet and warm smiles.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Saiki.Kensuke.Yuuta: Three chapters left to run! I hope everyone is liking this so far.
