Title: Safe Bet
Chapter: Endings and Beginnings
Summary: "...sometimes sorry just
isn't enough."
Spoilers: None, I think. If there are any, they're too small to really matter.
Disclaimer: Nope, none of this is mine, except for the story line.
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Pete's face nearly fell as she spoke those four, universal words. We need to talk never meant good news, and in most cases, it lead to the end of relationships. He kept his composure, though, and forced a smile onto his face, "Talk?" he inquired, "What about?"
If the phrase hadn't tipped him off, the look on her face surely would have, because she was doing her best not to wince, and failing fairly miserably. Pete suppressed a sigh, telling himself that he was probably wrong, there was nothing wrong. It had something to do with her work. They would have to push the wedding back a week or so because she'd be off-world; or, maybe have to speed it up to a week or so sooner? Yeah. Sometime like that.
She gestured with her hands, and it was then that he noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. Sure, he knew she didn't wear it when she was at work, it caused hazard situations; the ring was a bit loose and slipped off of her finger at times, and that couldn't happen while she was busy with her complex scientific machines and generators, or when she was in the field, it could catch the light of the sun and perhaps give away her position, or get in the way of her firing her weapon. He accepted that; didn't like it, but accepted it. She had to have been home for awhile though, because she had already changed out of her fatigues and was wearing jeans and a shirt, so why wouldn't she have put it on? In the second or so that it took for those thoughts to run through his mind, she had frowned deeply, and opened her mouth to begin her speech.
"You're breaking up with me," he stated, looking up from her bare finger to her face, in hopes of seeing a confused look on her face that would tell him she hadn't-- and would never-- even considered the idea. Instead, he saw her wince without trying to hide it, and she swallowed.
"Just..." she asked, "let me say what I need to say."
He nodded. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she wasn't going to break up with him. Maybe... maybe this was all a bad dream. Or one of those alternate realities she was always ranting about. It was possible, even, that they had been kidnapped by an alien race that had them in a sort of matrix, and this wasn't actually happening. But, why would an alien race kidnap him? He hadn't been to the SGC in months and didn't have any reason to go there. Nor any desire. No, his best hope was that it was a dream or that he was wrong and his paranoia premature.
"I love you, Pete," she claimed, and he felt his heart break in two. That wasn't the butterflies in the stomach kind of love she was talking about. This was it. Crash and burn. "But... I'm not in love with you." She looked away from him and sighed, "This is all my fault, you're not to blame at all. I knew that there was no way I could ever... I just knew it wasn't going to happen between us, but I was selfish and I took advantage of your feelings for me, because I didn't want to be alone anymore. When you proposed, I almost said no, but I thought I could make myself love you... I'm sorry, but I can't. You deserve somebody better than I am. You deserve somebody who won't use you like I have." He could see her cursing herself for being so cliché, and she shook her head, her eyes downcast. "I wish that I could say I never meant for things to happen like this, but in some ways, I always knew it would. I'm sorry, Pete..." she reached into her pocket and pulled out the diamond ring that had once occupied her finger, "I can't marry you."
"All this time," he questioned, staring at the ring, but not taking it back from her, "and it meant nothing to you?"
Sam shook her head, "No, it's not like that Pete. I do have feelings for you, and God knows I wish that I could work through this, but, I just can't. The truth is, you're the first guy that's ever stuck around this long and that means so much to me..."
"But, I'm the wrong guy," he finished for her, finally taking the diamond out of her hand.
Another wince appeared on her face, and she didn't reply. That pretty much answered his question, and he nodded, looking away from her. "It's O'Neill, isn't it?" he questioned. "He's the reason you couldn't fall in love with me? You're already in love with him."
"...Pete..."
"You don't have to tell me," he informed her, getting up from the couch, "I already know. I guess I should have seen it before. He calls, says he needs you, and you're gone. Who cares about what else you had planned or who you'd be letting down to run to his side. I should have put two and two together. Not even police are that loyal to their bosses, and I've certainly never heard of anybody in the military thinking that highly of their CO." He shook his head, "I just didn't want to see it, I guess. I didn't want to admit to myself that you cared more about him than you did about me-- because, otherwise, you wouldn't have taken off like that, without explanation."
"That day at the restaurant?" she questioned.
"Yeah," he said with a nod. "I should have seen it then, it was so obvious. Not only O'Neill, the others too. They've always have and always will be more important in your life than I am, so why did I even bother?"
"I am so sorry Pete," she told him once more.
"I know you are," and that was the truth. He knew her well enough to trust that she hadn't wanted things to be like this. That didn't make it hurt any less, though. "But, sometimes sorry just isn't enough." He walked to the door, where his luggage was, and picked it up. "Goodbye, Sam."
As he headed out of the door, she stood up from the couch, "Wait," she called after him, making her way closer to the entrance to her house. "That's it?"
He turned to look at her, "What did you expect? Yelling? Cursing? You don't love me, Sam; there's nothing I can do to change that, and blowing up at you won't help me any. No, I'm not going to sink that low."
Sam sighed, "I've done that enough for the both of us, I guess..."
Pete didn't reply, he smiled sadly, turned away from her, and walked out of the house and down the street. Sam briefly wondered where he was going, without a car, until she watched him pull out a cell phone. Calling a taxi, more likely than not. She stepped back into her house, shutting the door, and turning to face her empty living room.
As she wondered how she had managed to screw her life over so horribly, something on the coffee table caught her eye. She walked towards it, and picked up the deep, cherry oak picture frame, smiling faintly at the picture held in between the glass and the plastic back. Things had been so much more simple back then, and she vaguely wished she could go back to those times; but with Daniel still descended.
She sat down on the couch, still looking at the people in the picture, wondering how on earth they could still manage to be so happy after all they'd been through. All the horrors they'd seen and all the pain they'd felt and even the terrible things they had done, and they still found the strength to be happy. What had changed since then?
While she contemplated the drastic changes in her life, the doorbell to her home rang. Sam looked over at the wood, thinking maybe Pete had come back, having came to his senses and realizing that she did deserve a good chewing out. Getting off the couch, rather hesitantly, she headed towards the door and looked out the peep-hole.
Only... it wasn't Pete. It was Jack. General O'Neill. Her CO. The man she was in love with. The man she wasn't allowed to be in love with.
What on earth, or any other planet, was Jack O'Neill doing at her house?
Sam opened the door, standing in the frame, a questioning look on her face. "Sir?"
"I'm bored, Carter," he informed her. Which made sense. Why else would he be standing on her front porch, wearing those snug fitting, faded blue-jeans and that brown bomber jacket?
"Where's Daniel and Teal'c?" she inquired, stepping aside to allow him to enter. He did so, and stood in the foyer, looking around her house like he had no right to be there and had made a huge mistake, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.
"T is off world, visiting the family, and Daniel went with Davis to DC to help him with his homework..."
"Daniel is in Washington?" Sam questioned, "What does Davis need him for?"
"No clue," he admitted with a shrug, "something to do with rocks."
Which meant, artefact's or other ancient finds. "How long is he going to be away, sir?"
"Two days... Do me a favor, stop calling me 'sir'."
"Sorry, it's a habit."
"So is smoking," he reminded her, "and that causes cancer."
"What you're saying," she questioned, "is that if I continue to call you sir, I'll get cancer?"
O'Neill shrugged, "I was just making an observation..." He looked around the house, "Hey, you got any food in this place?"
"Nothing that counts as a meal, but I think I've got some popcorn lying around," she shrugged. "I'm sure that I've got Halloween somewhere in the entertainment center, if you want to watch it." He said he was bored, anyway. And the easiest way to get rid of boredom was to watch a movie. Classics were even better. "Or, Psycho."
He gave her a strange look, almost as if he was surprised. "I never figured you the cult classic type."
"Oh yeah," she told him with a smile. "I'm a sucker for the black and whites, too."
"Huh, learn something new everyday," he mumbled, headed towards the entertainment center, looking through the movies that she had stacked up. She headed off towards the kitchen to start the popcorn, and to get away from him for a few moments so that she could think some things over.
Wasn't this an interesting turn in events? Ten minutes before and she was breaking up with her fiancé, now she was starting a bag of popcorn so that she and her CO could watch a scary movie together, alone... in the dark. Had somebody who didn't know them been filled in on the events taking place, and they would have claimed she was having a date. Yeah, she snorted, if only.
Three minutes and a bowl of popcorn later, and she found herself back in the living room. Might as well push all of her thoughts and burdens aside for a few hours and lose herself in a movie, it would be good therapy. She needed a break from thinking about Pete and the situation he caused, anyway. But, that might be a hard one to ignore, seeing as one of the main reasons for the situation would be sitting right next to her, in order to share the popcorn. Is that why she had opted for the one, big bowl? Hmm, she hadn't even paid attention.
He was sitting down on the couch, the empty Halloween DVD box on the coffee table, and the picture she had been looking at before he arrived in his hands. "When did we take this?" he questioned, holding it up for her to see. "I don't remember it."
Sam shrugged, "Neither do I. We had a lot of nights like that though, it could have been any one of them."
"It was a lot easier back then," he stated, "wasn't it?"
"Yeah," she admitted. "I almost wish it had stayed like that."
"I think it's Danny boy, he makes everything more complex."
She grinned and sat down on the couch, next to him, close enough for him to grab some popcorn when he wanted it, and far enough so that there was a few inches between them. "You wouldn't have it any other way, sir. And you know it."
"Carter," he warned, "what did I say?"
"I don't know who Carter is," she shrugged. "My name is Samantha..." thinking that over, she shook her head. "My name is Sam."
Jack smiled and reached out for a handful of popcorn, pushing the play button on the remote with his free hand. Sam sighed as the movie started and got up from the couch to turn off the lights, plopping down in her same spot, only to find that he had migrated closer and her thigh was touching his. Suppressing a shiver, she turned all over attention to the movie and ignored the way his arm kept brushing against hers.
She glanced at the picture frame that was sitting on the coffee table once more and smiled slightly. Yeah, things had been easier then, that wasn't something she was going to argue with. But, maybe things weren't as bad as she thought they were. Who knew, maybe this was the beginning of something better?
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Authors
Note: Sorry guys, I couldn't do the jerky Pete thing. I've done that
one before. I had to play nice. Besides, Threads made me feel bad for
him (not that bad, though... I still don't like him). Anyway, this
could very well be the end of the story. I could either stop it here or
continue on and explore other options. Don't know what they'd be at the
moment, but chances are they'd eventually be very fluffy and full of
ship. But, I could do either ending it with this chapter or going on
further. It doesn't matter to me. Let me know what you think and I'll
decide from there. If you want more, then I can write a few more
chapters. If not, I think that this is as good a place to stop as any.
Anyway, just tell me so.
