Chapter 6: "Just take me away from me."

Beastboy locked his eyes with hers. He loved her. He needed her. Yet, he had to know why she would hurt herself like this. He had to.

"Raven...why? Why did you do this?"

She sighed. He moved the towel from her arm. Only the deep few were still bleeding. Several tiny ones lined her arms. He winced and tried so hard not to get sick at the sight. Her arms were so red, so raw.

"Please...don't look at them," she whispered.

"Raven, why?"

She shrugged.

"Why not? It's not like anyone would care."

"I care! Damn it...I love you."

"You can't love me."

Then, she paused. Her eyes traced his face. Did he tell her that he loved her? She questioned herself. He couldn't love her. He loved Terra. He always have. He always will.

"Raven...please. Don't shut me out like you have everything else. I told you I loved you and I mean it. I want to be with you."

She started to cry. A book rose then exploded. She gasped and teleported out of her room. Beastboy run towards the roof. He stopped when he saw her in the living room. She was staring out the window, no emotion on her face, her sleeves down. He slowly walked towards her. She turned and looked at him.

"Never tell," she whispered at Robin and Terra entered the room.

They paused and looked at Raven. Beastboy jumped on the couch.

"Come on, Rae! Just one!" he yelled as he normally did, picking up a remote to the Gamestation.

"No," she replied leaving the room.

"Come on!" he yelled following her.

Terra and Robin looked at each other as the two left.

xxxxxThat Nightxxxxx

Memories consume

Like opening the wound

I'm picking me apart again

You all asume

I'm safe here in my room

Unless I try to start again

Beastboy left earlier that night, taking her switchblade. He told her no more. So, she just sat in her room, scissors in her hand. The blades made large messy cuts on her arm and they needed more pressure. She had to bit her lip just to keep from screaming. Just as long as Beastboy didn't know, she didn't care. She was going to cut him out. She had to.

"More."

Slice after slice, she bit harder. Blood started to trickle down her lip. She was bitting too hard. Raven wanted to scream. She needed to. Instead, she threw the scissors accross the room. The hit the door then bounced off. Blood stained her dark carpet.

"I don't want it anymore. I don't. I want him," she whispered pulling out her violet hair.

There was a soft knock.

"Raven?"

"Beastboy!"

She rushed to the door and opened it. Right in the hallway, she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled back. Her arms slipped. Beastboy stepped back. She looked down then back up.

"I..."

"I know. I know, Raven. I-I-I had to tell," he said, cutting her off.

She backed up as Cyborg looked at her.

"No..."

"Now, Rae...come on."

"You told! You lied to me! I hate you!" she yelled at Beastboy running into her room.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause inside I realise

That I'm the one confused

Cyborg grabbed her bloody arm. She yelped in pain. He pulled her into the light and looked at her arms.

"Raven!"

She tried to pull away, tears welling in her eyes. Lightbulbs flashed, then broke. Beastboy looked at her.

"Raven! Stop!"

She cried harder, trying to pull away. Cyborg looked at her. His face mortified at what she did.

"Let go!" she cried.

"Cy, you're hurting her!" Beastboy yelled pulling the half man's hand away from her.

Raven collapsed into his arms. He pulled her close, closing his emerald eyes.

"Shh. It's okay, Raven. It's okay."

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I know it's not alright

So I'm

Breaking the habit

Tonight

He looked at her lips. Dried blood stained her lower one.

"You pushed too hard," he said looking at her right arm.

She breathed softly, ending her crying. His eyes searched her face for a reason. He needed one. Yet, her eyes gave no reason. He wished that she would open up and tell him. He needed her more than she knew. He wanted to take that switchblade to his wrist just like her. He wanted to do the one thing that he thought could get rid of her. He only could get one cut. That was when he realized that it did nothing. It proved nothing. It just left scars and the chance that one day, you could go too deep.

"Please, leave me," she whispered.

Beastboy nodded as she backed away from him and walked over to her window. The changling looked at Cyborg.

"Let's go."

"But, B-"

"No, let's go."

The two left leaving her alone again. Several thoughts raced through her mind. But one stuck, leaving a painful image right in front of her amethest eyes.

'All it takes is a little more pressure. All it takes is just to get it deeper.'

She picked up the bloody scissors and pressed them against her wrist.

'Slice deep, Raven. Don't look back. They won't miss you,' said a voice in her head.

"Beastboy. What about him?" she whispered.

'What about him? He doesn't really care. He's lying to you.'

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more

Than anytime before

I had no options left again

"No, he would never do that. Not to me. He loves me."

'He said he loved you. He's lying. He just doesn't want to feel your guilt. It makes him look back. They all know. They will make him look back. Just do it and you can save yourself. You can stop the pain. Don't you want to get rid of the pain?'

"Get rid of the pain? Yes. I want to get rid of the pain."

'Then do it. Slice in deep. Don't look back. It only takes a few more seconds of pain then it is all gone.'

Raven pressed down as hard as she could. Searing pain reached at her eyes and formed in her chest. More pain than she could imagine burned like a wild fire in her mind, causing all of her good memories to flash in her mind. She saw what she always wanted to see. She saw him. Beastboy. The only person that could truely make her smile. The only person that she loved more than life itself. Yet, she was ending it.

I don't want to be the one

The battles always choose

Cause inside I realize

That I'm the one confused

Growling in rage, Raven threw the scissors across the room. They hit the window causing it to shatter. There was running down the hall then banging on her door. She used what left of her strenght to use her telepathy to lock the door. Cyborg's cries rang out, but she didn't listen. She wasted it all away. She was letting it all go. Even with the kiss that changed her, Raven still wanted to let it all go.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

I don't know why I instigate

And say what I don't mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So I'm

Breaking the habit

Tonight

She bit her lip and walked over to an empty wall. She smeared her own half demon blood on it, spelling out letters that she herself could not say. The blood slowly rolled down the wall as would water in a shower. Raven admired her work before collapsing on the ground. Another shout was heard. This time it was Robin. Then she heard Starfire, but she did nothing. They didn't matter. They never did. Finally, one person broke through. Beastboy appeared next to her and gathered her in his arms. Tears poured from his eyes. He looked up at what was written on the wall.

"I've woken now to find myself in the shadow of a life I've created. I'm longing to be lost in you. Take me away from the place I am made. Just take me away from me," he read out loud. "I won't let you go that fast, Raven. I won't. I need you."

I'll paint it on the wall

Cause I'm the one at fault

I'll never fight again

And this is how it ends

"You don't need me," she whispered, her strenght quickly leaving her tired body.

Beastboy pulled her closer to him. He grabbed one of her bloody hands and placed it over his own heart.

"My heart only beats for you, Raven. It always have. It always will."

Tears formed in her violet eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she managed to whisper.

As her breathing slowed, Beastboy picked her up. He walked over to her bedroom door and opened it. The other Titans except Terra was there. They looked at him then to Raven as she laid dying in his arms.

I don't know what's worth fighting for

Or why I have to scream

But now I have some clarity

To show you what I mean

I don't know how I got this way

I'll never be alright

So I'm

Breaking the habit

Breaking the habit

Tonight

"She's losing blood quickly," he said.

Cyborg took the dark girl from his arms and headed quickly towards the infermary. Robin followed. Starfire looked at Beastboy. His eyes stared ahead emotionless, almost Raven-like. He sighed and headed after the other two Titans, but Starfire stopped him.

"You love her, am I correct?"

"Yeah, I do," he replied, not hiding any second of it.

She nodded and let him continue. One quick glance into Raven's room gave the alien thousands of questions. She had only been in her room a few times, but it was always tidy. The newer Raven's room was messy with dried blood spots all over the floor and some dripping words on the wall. The window that Starfire herself had looked out so many times was shattered. Rain began to seep its way through, wetting the blood stained ground. She walked over to the window and pushed an automatic lock off to close the open window. Walking to the door, she stopped to see Raven's diary on the ground, wide open. She noticed several blood spots in it as well as tear stains. Cringing, she slowly closed the door.

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UPDATED! To the person who hates the fact that Raven cuts in this and EVERY story...SORRY! I'm a cutter...so...yeah...ONE MORE CHAPTER! WOO!

Hikari Moriyaku