Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters/locations, etc.
Author's Note: The name of this chapter is a continuation of chapter one's, from the song "Top of the World," by the All-American Rejects.
I think now it is safe to say that the age problem has been fixed. If it hasn't been, or shows up in one of the following chapters (which I don't think it does), please let me know and I'll fix it. Sorry for the confusion!
Chapter 2: ...when the top of the world falls on you
The first thing Severus noticed when he woke up was how utterly comfortable he was. He felt warm and safe, two things he had never felt before. What he had felt before was the splitting headache that he recognized from too many nights of drinking. He made to move his hand to rub his forehead, but found that a weight had settled on top of it, making moving his hand impossible.
Severus opened his eyes and was startled to see Harry Potter curled up against him, his body preventing Severus from moving his hand. Instantly memories from last night came rushing back to him...the party...the spiked punch bowl...scotch in Harry's rooms...sex in Harry's bed...Harry trembling as Severus prepared to take him...Dear Merlin, what had he done?
Severus immediately pushed Harry away from him and stumbled out of the bed. He climbed clumsily to his feet and stared at Harry in shock and horror. He had raped Harry! Under the influence of whatever drinks he had consumed, he ad proceeded to rape the only person he had ever really cared about, the only person who had ever truly wanted to be Severus's friend.
Bile was forming in his throat, and Severus had to clamp his hand over his mouth to keep from throwing up. How could he have done that? Not only had he just ruined the friendship the two of them had, he had scarred the boy for life! There was no way that Harry could have wanted what had happened last night. There was no way that he could have wanted Severus. A cold weight settled in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't felt this much guilt since he had become a Death Eater, and that was saying something.
Severus stared down at Harry, who was still asleep on the bed. He didn't appear to be hurt; that much Severus was grateful for. But he knew that he had hurt Harry far more than physically. Harry would never be able to look at Severus again. And why would he? Why would he look into his rapist's eyes? Said eyes now started to fill with tears as the full weight of what he had done hit him like a pile of rocks.
How would he ever be able to look in the face of the man he loved again? Would anyone else realize what they had done? What he had done? No...they would never think that. Just because they had left together didn't mean they had done anything together. Severus would just have to go down to breakfast, that was all. He'd go down there without Harry and show them that nothing was different. Yes, that was what he would do. Just pretend last night never happened. That really was the best plan for everybody.
Making up his mind, Severus grabbed his wand and spelled his clothes back on. He cast one last look at Harry and felt a clenching pain in his chest. He wanted to climb back into that bed and hold Harry for the rest of his life. He wanted to feel that warm body next to his again. He wanted to be there when Harry woke up. He wanted to kiss those lips again. He wanted to tell Harry how much he loved him.
Instead, all Severus did was walk out the door.
xxx
The first thing Harry noticed when he woke up was that he was cold. Opening his eyes and blinking against the harsh light, Harry saw that he was in his bed, alone. Not having had nearly as much to drink as Severus had, Harry didn't need as much time to remember what had happened last night.
Harry's heart sank as he realization crept in. Severus had left without saying goodbye. Harry had been prepared for Severus to regret what they had done. He had been prepared for cold words. He had even been prepared for the anger that Severus was sure to have.
What he wasn't prepared for, though, was for Severus to leave before Harry woke up. Harry eyes welled with tears. He hadn't thought that Severus would be so disgusted that he wouldn't even stick around to tell Harry that he had meant nothing to the older man. Harry let out a gasp of pain and buried his head in his pillow and cried.
He had thought that he could live with one night. He had thought that he could deal with Severus not wanting him. He was wrong, so wrong. Severus's rejection hurt more than Harry had ever thought possible. He cried even harder. Maybe he should have stopped Severus. Then he would still have a friend. He would still have Severus in his life. Now Severus would never want anything to do with him, even in a completely platonic way. Harry had ruined his friendship with Severus, and for what? For one night (one beautiful night, the tiny little voice in his head corrected him) with a man that he knew would never want him.
The man was probably eating breakfast right now. That is, if he wasn't too disgusted to eat. Knowing Severus as he did, Harry was sure that Severus wouldn't tell anyone what they had done. He would be too ashamed. He would go on like nothing had happened. Harry would have to do the same. Of course, people were bound to notice that something was wrong. After all, Harry and Severus had been friends since before the war ended. That something had happened between the two of them would be obvious when Severus refused to look at Harry, which Harry was sure would happen.
Sniffing and wiping the tears from his eyes, Harry slowly climbed out of bed, painfully aware of the fact that he was still naked. He didn't want to take a shower, but he was sure that someone would notice something if he went to breakfast looking how he did.
So Harry stumbled into the shower. He apathetically washed his hair and his body, wincing slightly as he washed his backside. Rinsing the soap off of himself, Harry quickly spelled himself dry and pulled on some clothes. Not even bothering with his hair, Harry made his way up to the great hall. Severus didn't mean anything to him. He could handle this. Those lies were unbelievable even to himself.
Taking a deep breath, Harry pushed the door to the Great Hall open and stepped inside. He could do this. No problem. He started walking toward his seat, right next to Severus. Harry groaned. He had forgotten about that until he saw the man who had shared his bed sitting in the seat beside his empty one. Harry swallowed nervously and continued toward his seat. Then Severus looked up.
Tears filled Harry's eyes as he saw the disgust in Severus's. He couldn't do this. Actually seeing Severus's revulsion was a million times worse than imagining it.
Silently, without thinking about what everyone else's reactions would be, Harry turned and fled the Great Hall.
Please review and tell me what you think!
To those of you who reviewed the last chapter (and there's only 3 of you so I hope fanfic won't shoot me for thanking you personally):
Cy: Thanks for reviewing. I agree with you; a virgin!Harry who doesn't think that Severus likes him is my favorite! He's really hard to write, though. Thanks for trying to answer my questions. I too have read stories that have just as much detail, so I hope no one complains. I hope you liked this chapter.
Lady Laffs-a-Lot: Thanks for reviewing. I hope this chapter met your expectations.
Princess Musa: 'Wow'? I'm going to hope that that's a good 'wow.' grins Thanks for reviewing.
