Chapter 2 - Munch

That's rock bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
That's rock bottom
When you want something bad enough to steal
That's rock bottom
When you feel like you've had it up to here
'Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear
That's rock bottom…

Munch

This can't be happening, I thought to myself as Fin tried to comprehend what I'd just told him.

"But how…" Fin started.

I closed my mouth and clamped my teeth onto my tongue, trying to keep myself from throwing up. I instinctively closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath. The bile rising in my mouth quickly put an end to that though.

"Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is what she told me before completely falling apart."

I swear to God when I see that sonofabitch…

Already I was envisioning a million threats towards Elliot. I could feel my hands shaking in unleashed anger.

As I heard footsteps coming towards us, I assumed it was Cragen. Because he wouldn't have the audacity to come within fifty feet of this hospital. Much to my disgusted incredulity, it wasn't Cragen, it was him.

"I got here as soon as I could. Is she okay?" He was sweating and panting. Obviously holding Olivia down while he raped her had given him a workout! I mentally paralyzed my right arm so that I wouldn't suddenly fly off the edge and beat the shit out of him. Not that that's to say the bastard didn't deserve that and more. But I rather he'd face twelve jurors than six Paul-bearers.

But as soon as his hand reached out to grab the doorknob, my arm sprang back to life, ripping it away. I jumped in front of the doorway, making it impossible for him to get in without going through me. I had sworn to Olivia that I would never let him hurt her again. And as long as I had a breath left in my body, that promise would be kept.

I felt my jaw clench and I almost winced at the pain my teeth were causing me as I increased the pressure that held them together. I was so focused on controlling my anger that I was only ever so slightly aware of the fact that Fin had taken a spot next to me.

"What's going on? Can't I see her?" What, you didn't see enough when you were raping her! My vision started blurring and I saw streaks of red merging with what I was looking at.

"No," I barked at him. Only trusting myself to speak that one word controllably.

"What is it?" As if you didn't know, I almost spat.

"You can't go in there man," Fin answered.

"What? Why?" I heard the fake concern and forced sympathy in his words, and it only infuriated me more.

"I'd think you'd know that," I found myself saying before I could stop it. "Considering."

"Considering what?"

I felt myself lose control over my impulses as I shrieked at him. "Considering the fact that she says you raped her!" A flash obscured my vision, blinding me for a second. When I could see again, I realized that I had tackled Elliot and was now on top of him, pummeling my fists into his face.

Justice in the courtroom no longer concerned me. As far as I saw, my hands could bring more punishment than any jury.

"John! John, stop!" I heard two familiar voices in the back of my head, but I ignored them.

Just as I was about to swing again, I felt two pairs of arms hold mine back. I attempted a struggle, but unlike the trash underneath me, they were strong and fought back, eventually bringing me up to my feet.

I screamed and thrashed around, determined to return and finish what I had started.

"John! Cool it, man! Calm down!" I distinguished my partner's voice just as he shoved me into a wall, like I was the criminal. Slowly, my normal vision returned and my hands no longer vibrated as they had before. My breathing also slowed and the adrenaline rush I had felt before was over. "You all right now?" Fin's arms that had pinned me to the wall had let up on me a little, but not much.

"Yeah," I squeaked, my ribs felling bruised. He instantly dropped my arms and backed away. I turned my back to the wall and slid down it, collapsing into an exhausted heap on the floor.

"Are you okay, John?" Fin sat on his heels, looking me over.

"I'm okay," I attempted to shrug, but I was too sore to do much of anything. Something I had said to Olivia crossed my mind and I gasped. "I gotta see Olivia."

"I wouldn't do that," Fin stopped me from clamoring to my feet. "I think he's still there."

"With Olivia!" My eyes widened and I jumped up, ignoring the pain shooting through my limbs. "That sonofa-"

Fin caught me in his arms and kept me back. "Cragen's there, John. She's fine."

"No," I sighed, my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest because it was beating so fast, "she's not." I locked eyes with Fin. "She was raped."