Chapter 3 - Stabler

I'm not afraid of anything
I just need to know that I can breathe
I don't need much of anything
But suddenly
I am small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded by so many things
But suddenly, suddenly…

Stabler

"Considering the fact that she says you raped her!" Before I could even process what Munch was screaming at me, he lunged at my torso, knocking me to the ground.

Munch starting throwing punch after punch to my unprotected face. Each blow hurt more than the one before it. I wasn't expecting it at all, so I didn't have the sense to cover my face or try and stop John.

Just as I thought I was going to pass out because of all the pain, the punching ceased. Munch started screaming and I heard his furious yells travel down the hallway, slowly becoming further and further away.

I didn't move once the beating had ceased. I just lay on the floor, trying to let what Munch had just said sink in.

"She says you raped her!"

Was that true? Had Olivia actually accused me of raping her? The very thought of such a thing brought a wave of nausea over me. I had dedicated my life to putting rapists behind bars. Everyday I saw the destruction they left in their paths. The day a thought of doing that crossed my mind was the day I'd put a gun to my head. The only thought more gut wrenching than that was that I'd ever do that to Olivia.

Olivia was like a sister to me. We were best friends, in and out of the station. We put our lives in each other's hands, both literally and figuratively speaking. I knew everything Olivia had been through in her life with her "father" and her mother's alcoholism. I'd never hurt her in any way. I'd never do that to anyone. Yet the question remained. Why had she told Munch that I had?

I slowly picked my head up, wiping my face with his hands. I instantly felt the sticky liquid that was my blood running down my face. Despite the fact that I couldn't really see and had no sense of balance, I somehow got to my feet.

"Take this." I heard a familiar voice command me as a napkin was shoved into my hands. I took the material and ran it over my face. I opened his eyes to find Cragen standing in front of me, his face such a mixture of emotions that I had trouble looking at him without his head pounding. Then again, I found it hard to stand without my head pounding.

Just one look into his eyes told me that Munch had spoken to him.

"Cap, you don't think I…" I couldn't even bring himself to say it. "I would never… You know that, right?"