And a day or so later, here's my second GG fanfic! It's another songfic, for a Bob Wills song this time. Love that guy... Too bad he's gone.
Description: Counterpart to "I'm so Lonesome, I Could Cry" (my other GG FanFic). Luke contemplates his breakup with Lorelai after "Say Something!" and finds comfort in a song.
Disclaimer: Don't own Luke Danes, don't own Bubbles in my Beer lyrics, so basically, I own nuthin'.
Note: You might want to read "I'm so Lonesome, I Could Cry" first.
Bubbles in my Beer
(SongFic for the Bob Wills song "Bubbles in my Beer")
He sat there, quiet as could be, at the bar, away from all of the drunken other customers of the bar. He couldn't stand to be near them in any way. They were all happy and excited, and he was broken, sad and lonely. He had never been through this sort of pain, ever. He was indescribably sorrowful and alone…
But it was all his fault.
He had caused this sorrow.
He'd pushed her away. Said he'd need time to think. That their relationship was too much for him. He saw his error now: he shouldn't have done that at all. He didn't mean it. It wasn't too much. It was just more than he was used to.
And now that he'd had time to think, he saw that it wasn't too much at all. Not even close.
It was too little.
He craved more of a relationship now with that amazingly crazy but remarkably lovable woman that he had somehow managed to totally alienate and hurt. He couldn't bring himself to ask her for forgiveness: she was too good, and he was too flawed to even deserve her love and forgiveness.
Absently, Luke stared at the bubbles in his beer.
How could he have done such a thing?
His thoughts were taken away from the bubbles in his beer momentarily as he heard something interesting in the country song that was playing all around the bar.
Tonight in a bar all alone, I'm sitting
Apart from the laughter and cheers,
While scenes from the past rise before me,
Just watchin' the Bubbles in my Beer.
He chuckled to himself at the words. It sounded just like him: sitting in a bar all alone, away from the laughter, seeing scenes of happier times past, just watching the bubbles in his beer. If he didn't know any better, he'd say the song was written just for him and this time.
A memory of Lorelai and her love of music drifted into his thoughts.
Often he'd wondered just what her fascination with all of the music she knew about was. Why she even bothered to listen to that crap.
Right now, he could understand. Somehow, someone singing about a situation like his felt good, helped him cope with the hurt.
A vision of someone who loved me,
Brings a lone, silent tear to my eye.
Oh, I know that my life's been a failure,
Just watchin' the Bubbles in my Beer.
As memories and mental pictures of Lorelai filled his mind, Luke felt a single, quiet tear slide down his face.
Why, oh why on this earth had he told her he couldn't handle it? Why had he said that she was too much? Why had he done this? Why had he put himself in this pain? Could she be in pain too? How on this earth had he managed to hurt the one woman that he cared for more than anything? How had he managed to hurt not only himself, but her, when he knew that his words were a lie?
God, how could someone else other than him been stupid enough to fall into this pit, so they could write this song?
The song went on.
I'm seein' a road that I've traveled,
A road paved with heartaches and tears,
And I'm seein' the past that I've wasted,
Just watchin' the Bubbles in my Beer.
Now that was one verse he couldn't say pertained to him. Yes, he was seeing the road that he'd traveled—with his precious Lorelai—but he was seeing a road paved with joy and laughter, not heartaches and tears. He was seeing a past four months well spent, held in Lorelai's embrace.
Their road together had been marvelous, and far better than any of those he'd traveled with other women, though possibly shorter. These four months had been utterly amazing: more intimate and special than any other with any other woman, ever.
Why, oh, why, had he ended that happiness and made heartache?
On went the song.
As I think of the heart that I've broken,
Of the golden chances have passed me by,
And the dreams that I made, now empty,
As empty as the Bubbles in my Beer.
Oh, her broken heart… He couldn't even bring himself to think of the pain he must've caused her. How could he have done such a thing? He must've caused her pain, because he knew that he had caused himself this pain too. She had to feel the same way he did…
No, she would be worse off, because she would've been punished without doing anything. He had done the awful deed, not her. Her anguish was for nothing, his was for breaking them up.
Over the past couple of days, he had had several chances—golden, as the song said—to reconcile them. But he was too afraid.
He was afraid she would say no because he had pained her so much.
No, he couldn't go back to her now. He'd hurt her too badly.
The dreams that I made, now empty… He'd often dreamed of the future that he and Lorelai would have, happy and filled with laughter. Oh, the future he'd planned for them! But now it was gone, empty as…
The bubbles in his beer.
He found that through everything, he'd still remained staring at the glass, now empty. Empty as his dreams…
He signaled the bartender. "Refill, please." As the man refilled Luke's glass, Luke said, "And that song…"
The bartender smiled as he handed Luke the refilled glass. "A classic. 'Bubbles in my Beer' by Bob Wills."
Luke nodded. "Could you…?"
The bartender nodded, smiling again. "Sure, you look like you could use it."
Luke didn't even bother with verbal thanks as he resumed staring into his now-full beer glass as the words rang out again.
Tonight in a bar all alone, I'm sittin'…
His loneliness soon found its place, and he continued his sorrowful contemplations, oblivious to the fact that across town, at her home, the object of his thoughts was doing the same thing, but with a different song. Slowly, the song passed by and his glass was again empty, but he had made no progress with his feelings.
Just watchin' the Bubbles in my Beer…
"I don't know who you were or are, Bob Wills, but thanks," he murmured later, staring at his once again empty glass. "Bartender, refill."
THE END
So, there it is. "Lonesome"'s counterpart. Now, review! YOU MUST REVIEW!
