Finally the end is here. Thanks for all the reveiws.

I raised the bottle towards my head for the third time in as many hours. As long as I kept telling myself that I could stop any time I was OK. I was only doing this so I could stay awake and look after Harper until he woke up. That was the only reason, I was not an addict.

Trance's voice startled me and I dropped the small bottle and it smashed to the floor.

"Beka, Beka where are you? Harper's woken up!"

I ran off the Maru and followed her back o the med bay where I could see Harper lying just the same way as he had been for the past week but as I stood next to the bed he weakly turned his face towards me.

"Hey boss" his voice sounded frail, like an old man.

"Hi Harper, how do you feel.

"Not too good."

He really must be feeling awful if he couldn't even make a small joke about it.

"I think you should stop talking now Harper," commanded Trance coming in. "You are still very weak. Just lie quietly."

So I sat there by his bed holding one of his hands in mine and he lay quite still for a while before slowly dropping back off to sleep and relaxing his hold on me. But I still stayed there feeling contented for the first time in too long. I was sure now that he would make it and that filled me with happiness. Then the problems started.

I began to feel my body straining out for flash, I physically needed it, and I began to remember what the withdrawal had been like the first time, I didn't think I could go through that again. But I had to stop, Harper was going to be OK and I could cope with the nightmares. Also he would notice if I was back on flash. Everybody else might have been oblivious so far but Harper would spot it as soon as he could focus on me well enough. Suddenly I realised that stopping might not be as easy as I thought.

Quietly I left and went back down to the Maru where I cleaned up the mess and made a fresh batch of flash. All the while I was agonising over what to do should I tell Dylan, he could help, I got through it last time and I'm sure he would understand. Then I pictured the look of disappointment on his face and the look of disgust on Tyr's, that I hadn't been strong enough to resist its pull. Carefully I dripped a few more drops into my eye.
It had been a week and a half now and Harper was still only waking up for very short intervals and I was having to take more and more flash to keep the cravings at bay. I started not being able to remember how much flash I had taken and when then the inevitable happened. I couldn't remember when I had last taken any flash, I didn't have strong cravings for it but I wanted it all the time now. I began to panic and expected any moment for my skin to start burning up; hurriedly I fumbled for my small bottle and took quite a large quantity. At first it felt great but then I knew something was wrong, I couldn't think straight, couldn't think at all stumbling I made my way out of the Maru then couldn't get any further, I collapsed into a heap in the hanger bay.

My eyes blinked open, where was I, everything was too bright. Slowly I turned my head and saw I was in Andromeda's medical bay. Why was I here, was Harper alright? Then it all came back to me and I stifled a cry. All the chemicals must have been washed out of my bloodstream but I was still craving it, just not with the same physical urgency. Somebody spoke from the other side of me and I knew it was Harper. He sounded a lot better but still not quite his usual self.

"Feeling better?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, you were the one who got shot at."

"But I wasn't the only one who almost died. Why did you do it?"

"I was having nightmares, I couldn't face seeing you get shot over and over again, not until I knew you were safe. I guess I felt guilty."

"Guilty why?"

All the feelings I had been suppressing came rushing back in even though I had been blaming Dylan and Tyr for not turning up in time I knew the real reason."

"I was too late," I sobbed, " I didn't see the bullet and I didn't get over to you quickly enough."

"Sshhh, it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done."

Then he came over to me and sat down beside my bed and held my hand. I tried to protest that he was too weak to be out of bed but he wouldn't listen and just sat there and eventually I let my exhaustion overtake me safe in the knowledge that there would be no more nightmares.

When I woke again I saw Dylan, Tyr and Harper all standing in a corner talking. They noticed I was awake and came over to me then to my astonishment they apologised to me one by one, saying they should have noticed sooner.

Then Dylan sat down and told me that from now on they would all be aware of if I was acting strangely as he never wanted to see me like that again. I knew that it would be hard but it would get easier and this time everyone would be helping me and stopping me from falling. We would all try to never be too late again. It caused too much pain.