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Luckily, he agreed that casual probably wouldn't work for us, though he did say he would offer up his body for me 'if I ever decided to go native.' We both laughed at that, but deep down I admitted to myself that I was sometimes curious, and Jacob had an amazing body, and I trusted him.
I shook my head. Something to fantasize about maybe, but I didn't think I would ever act on it. It was a little to close to home.
And at some deep level, I knew I still loved Edward, and Jake knew it too. Though I was able to go out and have fun, I was still emotionally brittle, and had to avoid thinking of anything too deep or investing myself in any sort of real relationship. I just wasn't ready.
I drove home, said goodnight to Charlie, who was heading out to fish in the morning, showered, and read before bed. Tomorrow night was going to be really late, as I planned on sleeping at Jessica's after the party, and I expected we would not get much sleep.
Chapter 3: Party
I spent most of Saturday doing chores and homework, getting myself in the right head-space for the party tonight. I'd been to several local 'parties' - which were really just a few dozen high-schoolers finding an excuse to drink and hook-up - but this one was supposed to be different, with college kids and a bar, at a fancy house in Port Angelas.
I packed a quick overnight bag, said goodnight to Charlie and headed over to Jessica's at about five. We planned on grabbing a quick bite and getting dressed up a bit for the party. It was being hosted by one of Lauren's brother's college friends, in a big house just outside of Port Angelas. It was sort of an annual thing - last year the same party, on the same weekend, over 150 people showed up. The house was owned by some UW grad student who inherited it from his wealthy parents that apparently retired and moved away somewhere warm and sunny.
Smart. I hoped to be doing the 'move-away' part soon enough.
Tonight was important for Lauren. I knew she was still smarting from being dumped by the boy she thought loved her, and who she still loved, despite her occasional assertions to the contrary. There was a fairly good chance he would be there tonight. And though she liked to show the world that she was all tough and that she was over him, I knew differently; as we became closer as friends she confided in me, telling me that if anyone could understand her pain, it would be me.
Her confession was painful to hear, and struck very close to home for me. She was, she said, with tears in her eyes, still in love with Rob, and that no matter how many boys she'd dated, there were still nights when she cried over him despite their relationship ending more than 18 months ago.
This news saddened me greatly; it had only been six months for me, and I wasn't looking forward to mooning over my missing vampire for another year!
The night she had opened up to me - and me to her - we cried over a carton of ice cream, shots of cognac, and some dumb romantic comedy. That night cemented her as one of my closest friends, and I forever-after looked at her with new eyes.
I also finally learned why she seemed to dislike me so much when I'd first arrived in Forks, and my assumption - that she was jealous of Tyler's attention and of me snagging Edward - were only a small part of the story.
As I looked ahead to tonight, I realized that - since her ex might be there - Lauren was probably going to go all-out on clothes, hair, and makeup. Unfortunately for me, I knew I was going to get dragged into it as well, since I'd recently become her unofficial 'wingman.' She had told me - at a party we went to last month at Mike's - that Jessica got too drunk, too fast, to be a reliable wingman. Furthermore, Lauren told me with a strict no-nonsense tone, that no one else - not Angela, Katie, or June - would do for this important position. No explanations were given, but her eyes and expression would brook no argument.
Hence, I'd been drafted to the role.
So, for me, that meant a fancy outfit and full Bella Barbie treatment; I mean, I had to look the part, right?
Fortunately - unlike when Alice Cullen used to primp and poke me - I wasn't as averse to this 'experience' anymore. It had sort of become a fun ritual that me and the girls did whenever we went out on the weekends.
At first, I'd gone along with it because I wanted to bond further with them, but deep down, I owed them, big-time. Jessica, Angela - and especially Lauren - had preserved my sanity when my depression was at it's worst.
My funk when Edward left me had been really, really, bad; my 'zombie phase', we called it. And though Lauren might have taken some perverse pleasure in my suffering those first weeks - yes she could be a real bitch, but she owned, admitted, and apologized for that - when I didn't snap out of it after a month or so, she began to soften-up towards me.
At first it was just friendly smiles, or saving a chair for me at lunch; or, on one memorable occasion, dragging me from the Cullen's empty table and forcing me to sit with them in the cafeteria. But then she began to engage me, telling me repeatedly that she was there for me if I wanted to talk, that she knew what I was going through; and though I didn't trust her motives at first, she eventually won me over, and told me about her ex-boyfriend, Rob, and what she had gone through and what he did to her. She said she could see parallels between herself - after Rob dumped her - and me.
After a couple of months of slowly getting to know her, listening to her story, and thinking about what she was saying to me, I realized she was right. After all, both of us had unrequited feelings for guys who had cruelly dumped us, leaving us high and dry without any decent sort of explanation, and moving on to greener pastures.
I had finally opened up with my friends about what went down the night Edward left. I came up with a pretty accurate portrayal of how he'd dumped me, leaving out all supernatural elements of course. Basically, I stuck to the story that Carlisle accepted an offer from a big city hospital in California, and the family were leaving straight away. Edward then took me out to the woods to break the news - and break me in the process.
I was a bit vaguer about exact details - and everyone understood, as they could see how painful it was for me to relay the tale - but essentially I said that Edward told me he did not want me anymore; that I'd never see him again, that I should not do anything foolish 'for Charlie's sake', and I shouldn't worry about him since he would be chasing new distractions.
I think everyone was completely outraged by this and utterly furious with him, and every bad name a guy could possibly be called got hurled at him. In fact, I might have single handedly elevated Edward Cullen to the title of 'most hated person in Forks history.'
Lauren wanted to do a Facebook post asking for the best methods to torture a 'back stabbing a*hole of an ex-boyfriend,' while Jessica ran a post about a Starbucks drink she wanted to make, called a 'Deadward', with the ingredients consisting of coffee base, vanilla, and a small helping of arsenic, nightshade, and potassium cyanide.
I cried cathartic tears the night I told my story to Lauren, and then Jessica and Angela, and looking back now, I've realized that this had been the first time that I felt like the hole in my chest would one-day heal.
When they asked questions about the Cullen siblings - particularly Alice - I found them harder to sidestep and come up with a good answer. Alice had, after all, been my closest girl-friend. Everyone had seen how Alice would act so animated with me, skipping up to me at my locker almost every morning, dragging me to their table at lunch, or stealing me away for weekend shopping trips and Barbie time.
I admitted to them that we had lost touch, that it was too painful for everyone involved if we still communicated because she lived with Edward.
I'd learned to live with the pitying stares from most of the students during the dark times after my birthday; but thankfully - and I would always owe them for this - my friends rallied around me, and dragged me, despite my initial un-enthusiasm, back into to the land of the living.
Shaking my head clear of my reminiscing, I parked my truck in front of Jessica's house. She pulled open the door for me and waved me to the kitchen table while they looked at outfits. I scarfed down a quick salad with grilled chicken while listening to my friends natter on, which consisted mostly of Jessica loudly discussing strategies for Lauren so she'd 'wow' Rob into submission.
However, by the time I finished my salad, I wanted to bleach my brain, as Jessica continually droned about proper 'grinding' technique, and which bra would give the most cleavage for Lauren's particular breast shape, all the while hoisting her own admittedly large breasts in her hands and pressing them together with little wiggles. Angela's patient smile to me in the mirror made me glad I was not suffering alone, and even Lauren - the recipient of all this wonderful advice - looked like she might be suffering an aneurism.
Soon enough, I found myself sitting in front of Jessica's vanity, my hair in curlers and my fingernails coated with still wet silver nail polish. I was waiting for them to dry while Jessica helped Lauren put the final touches on her makeup.
As I looked at Lauren in the mirror, I had to admit that Jessica had some pretty good career prospects if she wanted to be a beautician. Her skill with the brushes and applicators was pretty good, and she had the whole Cosmo Sex Tips gossip down to a T.
By 7:30, we were finally heading out, excited and ready to party. As Mrs. Stanley snapped a group photo of us, I could admit we were all kitted out fairly well. It was still winter, and it would be a bit cold tonight - though thankfully no rain - so we couldn't go too crazy with our clothes. We managed to made do, spending plenty of time raiding our closets and mix and matching the best outfits together.
Luckily, I was able to contribute to the group stash, as I still had many of the clothes Alice had bought me last year, some I'd never worn and still had the tags on them. My friends oohed and aahed over the designer tops and pants, and I happily told them to help themselves, as usual. They laughed, thinking back to a week earlier, when Lauren had spotted a red shopping bag in my closet, hanging from a hook in the back. I had no recollection of ever seeing that bag, and figured Alice had probably just hung it there after one of our shopping trips. However, when Lauren dumped the contents on my bed, I was mortified to see many sets of very racy lingerie. Silk camisoles, teddy's, chemise's, thongs, crotchless panties and garters, even a corset...you name it, Alice had bought it, in various colors: whites, blues, dark reds and blacks. There must have been twenty items in the bag.
As they all had tags on them, the girls - with my blushing approval - each excitedly claimed an item for themselves. We all laughed at Jessica, however, when she actually complained that her boobs were too big for some of the tops, and looked sadly at the corset she'd been eyeing. Needless to say, we weren't impressed with her argument, as she had always boasted that her boobs were her best asset, and she knew she got lots of attention because of them. So no complaining about them now!
After Mrs. Stanley took a second photo, I looked at my friends, admiring their outfits for the night. Jessica looked great in a red blouse and pencil skirt, with tan calf height boots. She and Mike had an on again off again romance, and I am pretty sure it was off again right now, and probably would be for a few days if previous patterns held. Jessica had never quite gotten over the fact that last year, Mike had broken up with her shortly after she gave him her virginity - the next day, the rumors claimed - and she was determined to make him jealous every chance she got.
And since Lauren and I had the most direct experience with asshole boyfriends - Angela, thankfully, had never suffered like we had - we were happy the help her make him suffer with regret as much as possible.
Tonight, I had chosen to wear a form fitting, extra long dark purple cashmere dress that hugged my modest curves and came down to my thighs; it looked fantastic on my slim form. When she saw me put it on, Jessica had moaned about how unfair it was that I looked so good in almost all clothes - 'like a fashion mannequin' she would say - but this dress-top really did look great. I wore a pair of black tights underneath, and my favorite pair of soft dark grey leather boots that came up just below my knee. The boots had a thick, easy-to-walk in heel that gave me another three inches of height but didn't risk me breaking my neck.
For a change, my hair was arranged in soft curls that flowed down my back; I had not cut it in over two years, and it had grown long, maybe three inches from the top of my butt. I had never liked it this long as it was a major pain in the morning, but I had to admit it looked really good, especially when I curled it. I had also give Jessica free reign on my makeup, and she gave me a smoky eye with a hint of purple mascara that matched the dress, and ruby red lipstick. When I had looked in the mirror, I did a double take: with my red lips and pale skin, and the purple shadows under my eyes, I looked like a thirsty vampire.
The thought made me laugh.
But it was Lauren whose outfit stole the show. She had decided to wear a slinky pink dress that was sultry without being slutty, hinting and teasing in the right places. A pair of white heels and a black leather jacket completed her look, and her blonde hair was teased out and hung free around her shoulders. Her makeup was tasteful but eye catching, all designed to show off her best feature, her big blue eyes, that were the color of robin's eggs.
She looked fantastic, and I hoped her ex-boyfriend Rob was there tonight; he was, after all, friends with Lauren's brother at the University of Washington so there was a good chance he'd show. I wanted him to see what he was missing.
The drive to Port Angelas took us a bit under an hour, and we laughed and sang poorly to songs blasting on the radio. I was fairly relaxed and happy to be going out. I felt like a different person than I did this time last year. I can't believe that just a little over a year ago I'd just arrived in Forks, not knowing a single person, not ever going out to parties, and not ever having been on a date!
How very much my life had changed!
My smile faded and I turned pensive for a moment, feeling a faint echo of the pain I still got when my thoughts turned too far inward. I missed Edward, and knew I was still in love with him. I'd accepted that I might always love him, at least in some way.
That was my curse to bear.
But he was gone now. I couldn't...wouldn't waste my life pining for a boy who was not interested in me and whom I did not expect to ever see again. I had always been a very practical person, and I needed to move on with my life without looking back and hoping for something that would never come.
The thought hurt - badly at times - but I had my whole life ahead of me, and I wouldn't spend it as a zombie. I would graduate high school, see what scholarships I could get, and go for a liberal arts degree somewhere far away from rainy Washington.
As I was not exactly sure what I wanted to do with my life, I had applied to a wide range of colleges; these included a few liberal arts schools on the east coast, a few large universities in the south and southwest, and even a few Ivy League schools. I had a few weeks before facing application deadlines for certain schools, but I was pretty confident I would get into a few good places. My grades had always been straight A's save for a math class or two (thank GOD gym was pass/fail, else I'd have a string of D's going back to 9th grade!), and my board scores were in the ninety-ninth percentiles.
My musing stopped when Angela turned down the music as we pulled off the 101 on the outskirts of Port Angelas. We slowed, turning a few times until we were on a dark street called North Breakerpoint Place. The houses here were fancier, widely spread out, and backed onto the Salish Sea. I knew that this was the main waterway leading from the Pacific Ocean to the big cities of Washington State. Once past Port Townsend, the waterway wound its way inland towards Tacoma, Seattle and all the way north to Vancouver.
The street was quiet, and screamed 'exclusive'. The driveways here were long and twisty, and the hedges and lawns well-kept and manicured. Through gaps in the tall hedges we could occasionally spot large homes with bright, twinkling lights, and Jessica began to almost bounce in her seat in excitement.
Towards the end of the block, we saw a line of cars parked on the side of the street, and Lauren turned the music off as we slowed to a crawl. A bunch of people around our age emerged from a dark SUV just ahead, and Jessica rolled down her window, calling out to them. "Hey, is the Stephenson party up ahead?"
One of the girls rolled her eyes and looked at her, as if to say 'duh', before nodding primly and walking away with her friends. Jessica huffed, and Lauren and I snickered at her. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up bitches," she mumbled, and then reversed into a parking spot behind the girl's SUV. I think Jessica parked a bit closer than she needed to, almost touching the other car's bumper and possibly blocking them in. When Lauren raised an eyebrow at Jessica, she just smiled back smugly.
Everyone decided to wear their jackets, as it was cool outside and we might need them later. Lauren, however, had never planned to leave her black leather coat in the car. It was, in her words, 'an essential part of my outfit' - so she kept it on.
We headed in the direction of the lights and music, walking past another dozen or so parked cars. There were tall hedges and an iron fence to our right, and suddenly the hedges ended and we were standing at the end of a long, upward slanting driveway that sat between two marble pillars with stone lions on top.
Ostentatious for sure, but also fancy and majestic looking.
The driveway wound slightly up and away, maybe five hundred feet long , and one side of it was completely filled, bumper to bumper, with cars. There had to be thirty cars at least; and at the top of the small rise was a large white and grey stone house. It had tall columns and windows, and stood sentinel above the grounds, pale light streaming out onto the dark lawn. The driveway split into two, with one end wrapped around the side of the house, where an overhanging section connected to a large carriage house - also made of stone - that must have been able to fit four or five cars. The other part of the driveway made a loop in front of the house, with a large fountain in the middle of the circle on a spot of clear, finely cut grass.
All in all, the house was very grand, and probably as large as the only other mansion I'd ever been to, the Cullens house back in Forks.
As we walked up the driveway, we began to pass small clusters of people, many of them meandering about, sipping drinks and chatting. The music got progressively louder as we approached the house, and soon became apparent by the tenor of the sound that there was a live band here.
As I took in all the details around me, I jerked in surprise when I tripped over a curb that I hadn't seen. Luckily, Angela steadied me and kept me from face-planting. "Careful Bella!" She had to almost shout, as the music was too loud for casual conversation now. "We don't want to spend the night in the ER with you!"
I shook my head, and turned to Jessica and Lauren, both who looked very impressed with the house. Jessica's eyes were darting everywhere, an excited look on her face.
As we passed the fountain and stepped onto the front porch - made of white and black stone blocks cut in a square pattern - we moved inside, past the large wooden door that was partially open.
As we stepped into the house, we took a moment to look around at the very beautiful entryway; everything was black and white tile or marble, and the ceilings had to be twenty feet high. Two large staircases spiraled up and over the entryway, leading to a railed walkway with large glass windows behind. There were hallways leading in three different directions, all with vaulted archways above.
A very impressive house, indeed. This place belonged in Home and Garden.
As my eyes finally stopped roaming the wonderful architecture, I began to look at the people coming in and out. Everyone, as far as I saw, were as dressed-up as we were. The guys wore sportcoats or collared shirts and slacks, the girls dresses or skirts or fancy tops. I did see one or two people in jeans and college sweatshirts, but they were by far in the minority, and looked very out of place. And for the most part, the guests only looked a bit older than we were, though there were a few guys that looked like they might be in their mid 20's.
Even as my friends and I got our bearings, a much older woman approached us and offered to take our coats; we hadn't expected a coat valet, but we all had come to realize that this was not a typical college keg party. The woman smiled and handed us a small ticket before moving to help someone else.
Standing together uncertainly - I felt nervous and a bit out of my depth, and I guessed my friends did too - we decided to followed the largest group of guests, walking behind them through the archway straight passed between the staircases and went straight to the back of the house, and was where the noise and the loud music seemed to be coming from.
The back room looked to be some sort of den. There were large pieces of furniture here, but they all had sheets draped over them, so I could not see any detail. I realized covering the furniture was smart, as it discouraged anyone from sitting on them; and if the quality was as high as everything else I had seen, I wouldn't want some drunk teenager spilling his beer on it or scuffing a table with his feet. On the walls, giant impressionist paintings - of the size you might see in a church or museum - dominated the high walls, giving the space an impressive, almost gallery-like feel.
The back doors of the room were made of sliding glass, and were partially open; and when we stepped through onto a large patio that must have been fifty foot square, the music and the noise from the crowd suddenly hit us, making us finally feel the energy of the party.
From the central patio we stood on, there were walkways going in different directions, with large swaths of green grass or shrubs between them. Dozens of people walked or stood nearby, in small groups, drinking and socializing and laughing. I felt many eyes gazing over at our group, but I was too interested in the amazing grounds and the easygoing vibe to feel self-conscious.
When a white-coated man passed by with a tray of some sort of chicken-skewers, I had to admit that so far, this was party was far classier than any I'd been to before. It was definitely not what I had been expecting, and I was glad now that we had all dressed up for it. While I didn't think this was going to be a stereotypical beer and kegger type party, I didn't think it would be this nice either.
As we strolled along the path, there was a band was playing on a makeshift stage towards what looked like a gazebo, with large black speakers on either side of the stage. A barbecue/outdoor kitchen area stood behind the stage, and a throng of people were congregated there, where it looked like a bar had been set up.
"This place is amazing!" Jessica exclaimed, pulling Angela along by the elbow. "Let's go get drinks!"
We passed in front of the band, where a small wooden dance floor was filled with couples dancing and people watching the musicians.
I looked over at Angela, whose eyes were a bit wide, clearly awed by the amazing setting. "Wow!" she mouthed, and I could only nod my head. Wow indeed.
As we approached the bar, Lauren grabbed me by the wrist, keeping me close. Her eyes were constantly looking around, and I knew she was keeping her eyes peeled for her ex.
When we got to the large outdoor bar, I let my eyes trail over it, spotting the giant barbecue grill built into a wide marble countertop. Sitting on the counter were dozens of bottles of different alcohols; and next to those were about a dozen white plastic bottles with mixer names written on them in black marker. To the side of the bar were a couple of actual taps, and a line of boys were filling their own cups with beer.
As we stood in line for our drinks, I let my eyes wander, taking everything in. I noticed several groups of guys checking us out, gesturing to their friends and looking like they might approach; but I was still too nervous to meet anyone's eye, so I looked over at Lauren, trying to make it look like I was talking with her. However, she was completely distracted searching the crowd, trying to spot Rob no doubt.
I turned to Angela, who was listening to an animated Jessica who was wildly gesturing with her hands about something. I didn't pay much attention to what they were saying, as it seemed to be a running commentary on various boys who were looking at us. I let my eyes drift past the groups she indicated, and realized that we were definitely getting a fair bit of attention.
I understood now that this was going to be very different than the parties back in Forks, as I didn't know any of these guys, had no common ground with any of them. I'd never been the most confident person - heck, the word Wallflower probably had my name next to it in the dictionary - but at least in Forks I was not speaking with strangers.
When I casually turned away from a guy who was quite clearly checking me out on the other line, I tried not to blush when a few boys near the keg - maybe ten feet away - started openly ogling Lauren and me. Luckily, at that moment the bartender asked what we wanted, and I let out a breath, happy for the distraction.
There were two bartenders, a young woman and an older Spanish man, both in white coats like you'd see in a restaurant. The man smiled at us while the woman was busy serving someone else. "What can I get you?"
Lauren confidently answered for me, her voice full of authority. "We will have two Vodka Cranberries, please." As he nodded and began mixing our drinks, Angela and Jessica ordered from the woman.
"A whiskey sour for me, please, and my friend will have a vodka tonic," Angela said.
The bartenders were quick and efficient, and soon I was happily sipping my fruity drink and tapping my foot to the music, looking at different groups of people over the lip of my drink, bothered less and less by the frequent stares of different people.
The alcohol was warm in my chest, and the fruity taste made it easy to swallow. I was almost halfway done when Lauren finally turned to me and smiled. "So, what do you think of your first college party, Bella?" She had to speak loudly over the music, but we were far enough from the stage that she didn't need to shout.
"This place is amazing," I answered honestly. "I didn't even know they had parties for people our age like this."
She nodded her head. "Unfortunately, don't get too used to it. Most college parties are nothing like this; most frat parties are noisy and wild, unless it's like winter or spring formal." She took another sip. "Plus, most of these people are older. We might be some of the youngest people here, don't forget Josh Stephenson - the guy hosting - is like 23 or something."
"Oh. I didn't know that." I think Lauren told me that he was in grad school, but I hadn't given it much thought. I took another long swig from my drink, and was surprised to see that I had finished it already. I felt a very slight buzz, and wanted another. I tapped Lauren on the shoulder, showed her my empty glass, and she smirked and finished hers off in one long gulp.
We made our way to the bar to get another round and as I relaxed, letting the music and the vibe flow through me. I looked again at the people near us, hearing snippets of conversation. A group of four - two guys and girls - stood right next to us, talking about college sports. I looked more closely at them, and guessed that the girls looked maybe in their early twenties, and the guys were about the same.
They must have felt my eyes on them - I'd been staring a bit rudely - as two of them turned to face me; instead of looking away, however, I forced myself to smile and nod before turning to Lauren, my cheeks only a bit warm.
I leaned in to her. "Do you recognize anyone?"
She nodded. "Yes, I see a couple of my brother's friends over there," and she gestured towards the carriage house, where a group of guys and girls were talking.
I took another sip, and tried to be discrete. "Any sign of your brother, or your ex?"
She looked around at the various groups again, and then suddenly smiled, standing straighter. "Yes, I see my brother; he's the one with the black sportcoat and ridiculous puffy blond hair, over by that rope swing."
I giggled at her description, looking in the same direction as her. About fifty feet away I saw the boy who had to be her brother. I'd seen pictures of him back at her house, though he looked a bit different now. But even from here, I could see a familiy resemblance in the color of the hair and the shape of the face.
Lauren turned to Jessica, gesturing with her hand. "Come on, let's go talk with my brother and his friends. I haven't seen him in a while." Turning on her heel, she grabbed my elbow - looks like my wingman duties were officially starting - and the four of us walked down one of the small paths that crisscrossed the impressive grounds. Thankfully, the stone paths were easy to stay on, with little footlights guiding the way.
As we approached Lauren's brother, his group of friends - three boys and two girls - turned towards us with appraising eyes, even as Lauren waved at them. "Hey John," she called, and her brother smiled at her, pulling her into a small hug.
"Hey Laur, glad you were able to come." He patted her back, and stepped back.
A sudden jerk on my arm, and I was suddenly in front of her brother. "John, this is my friend Bella Swan, and that is Angela Weber," she said, nodding at Angela. "You know Jessica of course."
"Hey John," Jessica said, a flirty smile on her face. I tried to suppress my grin, remembering Lauren had told me that Jessica used to have a huge crush on John, back in middle school.
I let my eyes trail over him. He was a bit on the tall side - maybe 6 foot - and quite handsome. Short blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes were almost the same as his sister's, and he looked fit under the dark sport jacket and white button down he was wearing. He had a very friendly smile on his face, and he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye.
"Hello Bella, Angela, Jess." he said, his voice clear and a bit deep, with no hint of a nasal drone like Lauren's sometimes had. He took my hand, and to my surprise clasped it in his other hand as well, holding the shake for a few seconds. Finally releasing me, he turned me and introduced me to his friends. "Bella, this is Peter, Andrew, Kurt, Terry, and Amy."
His friends all gave us a sort of short wave, and I thought one or two of them might have looked a bit familiar, and I noticed they were looking at me closely.
"You're Isabella Swan from the Forks pinup calendar, aren't you? You were the girl on the cover?" the boy named Andrew suddenly asked, his voice just loud enough that all the other conversations and introductions in our little group stopped, and suddenly I felt all their eyes on me.
"Umm, yes, yes I am," I answered, my blush rising to my cheeks. "I prefer Bella, though," I added, trying to keep a smile on my face instead of a grimace, glad the alcohol gave me enough courage not to look away.
Andrew was dark haired, of average height, and had a really cute dimpled smile. His expression was warm, and I felt myself relax a bit. He was fairly attractive, and dressed well, a white button down and a pair of cuffed slacks making a nice ensemble.
"Well, Bella," he winked, "I think the calendar was really great. Congratulations on it."
Failing to stop the blush and hating myself for it, I nodded. "Oh, um, thanks. I'm actually surprised you even saw it, there were not that many copies printed in the first batch."
He laughed. "Well, someone at our frat house at UW - we're Theta's, by the way - had a copy of that calendar. Those photos were really great, much better than any of the school-girl calendars I've seen before. In fact, I think we ordered a few more copies," he added with another wink.
I had no idea what to say, but thankfully Andrew must have sensed my embarrassment. He turned his attention to my friends, his eyes roaming their faces. "And now I recognize the rest of you as well! You all looked fantastic in those photos!"
I was relieved that the immediate focus of the group was off of me, and Jessica positively ate-up up the attention. I took the opportunity to sip more of my drink, and realized why these people looked familar. The girl Angela was talking to - Terry - graduated last year and was a year older than me. I remembered her mostly Alice had told me that she had a massive crush on Edward; and now, I could see she was giving me sidelong glances, a curious expression on her face.
Not letting myself be bothered, my eyes drifted over our group; I saw that Lauren had leaned into her brother and was talking animatedly with him, his head tilted down towards hers, chatting too quietly for me to hear what they were discussing.
When he suddenly turned his head and pointed his finger towards the carriage house, I intuited that Lauren had asked if her ex was here, and judging by her brother's gesture, it seemed like he was. So, when Lauren pulled back from him and took a long swig from her drink, I whispered in her ear, a teasing tone in my voice. "Do you want to take a brief stroll over there, let him see how hot you look?"
She turned to me, and gave me a brilliant smile. "Thanks sister! Let's go."
I told Jessica and Angela we would be right back. Angela looked conflicted for a moment, but she seemed to be having a nice conversation with Terry and waved us off. Jessica didn't even look up from the attention she was getting from the boys as she giggled and primped her hair at something one of them said.
To my surprise, Andrew was suddenly walking with us, close beside me and keeping pace. "So, Bella, have you done any other modeling before? I know John told me that Lauren has some experience with it."
I saw Lauren nod, but she was not really paying attention to our conversation; she was focused on her ex, but trying to look like she was simply strolling past the carriage house and not deliberately steering us into visible range of him.
I shook my head in answer to Andrew. "Um, no, that was the first time I ever did something like that. It was a little overwhelming, honestly, and I doubt I'll ever do it again."
"Really?" His tone sounded very surprised, and I looked at him carefully, trying to see if he was just being coy.
He looked genuine though. "Those photos were exceptional, Bella. I don't know the first thing about modeling either, but I do like photography as a hobby." He trailed off for a moment, giving me a thoughtful look. "Your eyes were really emotive, despite the rest of the photo being pretty racy."
This time I couldn't keep the enormous blush off my face, and I ended up tripping over a slight bump in the flagstone, barely catching myself from falling. "Um, thanks?" I finally replied, not really knowing what to say to that.
He looked closely at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine; perhaps he thought I wasn't being honest or feigning embarrassment? Clearly he didn't know about my blushing problems...
With a chuckle, he gave me a friendly smile, seemingly satisfied that I wasn't simply playing with him or fishing for compliments. He patted my arm, grinning at my raised eyebrow. "You are shy, not used to or not knowing what to do with being complimented, I take it?" He laughed again when he saw my expression.
Shaking my head, I laughed too, embarrassed but finally relaxed. Andrew had a pleasant laugh, and he was very disarming. I allowed myself to unwind, realizing he was simply trying to be nice and wasn't playing an angle.
A few steps later, and we walked up to the carriage house. It was made of stone, and resembled a small pool house. Lauren stopped our march, taking a sip of her drink, and letting her eyes drift over to a group of people about fifteen feet away.
Andrew was surprised by our sudden stop, and he looked at me with a question in his eyes. Lauren, of course, was paying us no attention whatsoever, trying to nonchalantly eavesdrop on the group of five standing a dozen feet behind her, and trying to be noticed without it being obvious that she was.
I felt a pang of sympathy for her: this must be pretty difficult, being so close to Rob like this. I could only imagine if I had to watch Edward spending time with other girls when I was close enough to touch.
I wanted to be a good wingman, so I decided to engage Andrew in a conversation to provide a good distraction. Andrew seemed nice enough, and Lauren needed me to do something so it wasn't obvious that we were just standing there for no reason.
So, I put on my game face, turned to face him, and gave him a small smile. "So, Andrew, what year are you in at UW?"
He smiled back at me, and for the next few minutes I forced myself to make conversation, chatting with him about school and college life. I was pleasantly surprised, however, that he was a very interesting guy and soon enough our conversation flowed naturally.
Andrew was a sophomore, poly-sci/philosophy major, and wanted to go into Law. He had grown up outside of Tacoma, and he and Lauren's brother met when they pledged the same fraternity together during their freshman year. He hoped to go to law school somewhere warmer, but had a long way to go yet.
When we began to talk about me a little bit, we got onto the subject of the schools that I might want to apply to. "Bella, you should consider applying to UW, it's really a good school, and Seattle is a great place to live."
I nodded, agreeing. I'd heard good things about UW. "I like Seattle, but I think I want someplace a bit sunnier." I sighed, the reality of college tuition hitting me like a kick in the gut. "But it will of course depend where I get in and what kind of financial aid and scholarships I get. My college fund is pathetically small."
He nodded soberly. "Yeah, college is a fortune these days. I know I'll have huge debts after law school, so I needed to go somewhere in-state for undergrad that I could afford it without any loans. And UW was the best choice." He let out a sigh. "My first choice for college was actually University of Michigan, but the cost was too high." He shrugged and took a long sip from his cup, finishing whatever it was he had been drinking.
At that moment, the group of people that included Lauren's ex-boyfriend - though I still wasn't sure which one he was - started walking towards us. They had taken a few steps, when one of the boys suddenly stopped, and his face had a look of surprise on it. "Lauren?"
I had to admit, Lauren played it really well. She surely must have noticed when they started in our direction, as she suddenly had seemed to be intent on the conversation I was having with Andrew. Then, when he called her name, she feigned surprise quite well, pretending to be distracted from a conversation she was having - she was clearly a good actress.
Turning to face him, her face giving nothing away as to what she must have been feeling, she answered in a very casual tone. "Oh, hey Rob, long time no see," she said. I know she had not seen him since the previous summer when he was back at his home for a few weeks in Forks, and even then they only saw each other in passing. So the way in which she answered - as if seeing him was no big deal, just a run-of-the mill occurrence - was particularly well done.
I was proud of her, that her voice was fairly neutral to him; not cool, but certainly not too warm and welcoming.
And he deserved no less, he was a jackass for the way he treated her at the end.
Lauren had told me that she and Rob had started dating when she was a freshman in high school, and Rob was a junior. He was somewhat friendly with Lauren's brother, and she and Rob had seen a lot of each other the summer before her freshman year.
They ended up dating for the next two years, through his graduation and the summer before he left for college. She was completely in love with him, giving him her virginity when she was 15 and a sophomore. She trusted him to never hurt her, and says they were convinced they would one day marry.
"He was the one," she said.
But then, in early August when she turned 17, and a few weeks away from the start of her junior year, he came over to her house one afternoon and, with no warning whatsoever, sat her down and told her they were through. He wanted out of their relationship. a clean break, he couldn't carry any baggage to college with him.
"Baggage?" she whispered to him, completely stunned. "You...you think I'm baggage?"
He didn't want a long distance relationship with her, and said it wasn't 'cool' to have a high school girlfriend when he was away at school. "Don't worry," he answered, "you'll forget all about me soon enough. And there will be so much temptation in college, you know how it is. Better this way, I don't want to cheat on you."
She sobbed and begged, but he was unmoved, and drove away from her house leaving her a complete mess.
Obviously, she didn't get over it quickly. She was completely in love with the stupid ass, and by all accounts, when she started her junior year a few weeks later, she was a much different person than she had been. Her smiles were now grimaces, and her sense of humor turned cruel. She always had a bit of a temper and could be bitchy sometimes; but now, she always was short-tempered and angry; jealous of people who seemed happy, a real bitch.
Lauren had tried to figure out what she did wrong, but had no answers. She was hurting, and she lashed out. She dated different guys, fooling around a lot, sleeping with some, and gained a bit of a reputation. She said it made her feel wanted again, but really it was just a mask for her pain.
As I got to know her better and teased this story from her - despite the anger, the absolute rage, that I felt on her behalf - I found that it resonated with me.
I realized that - if you removed the supernatural element - she and I had very similar experiences with our first loves. True, I never became mean like her, but I did turn my back on my friends for months, and people might have thought me a bitch for that. Also, like her, my confidence was completely shattered after Edward dumped me so cruelly, and I would often lay in me bed at night, staring at my ceiling, wondering what I did wrong.
I remember the feeling of worthlessness, and I could totally understand why she would need to fool around with a lot of different guys in an attempt to give herself some sort of twisted sense of power and feelings of desirability.
As all this flashed through my mind, my eyes narrowed as I finally laid eyes on the 'ex,' thinking that he and Edward should get together and compare notes on how to break the hearts of the young girls who loved them. If things didn't go well for Lauren tonight, I would be sure to remind her how much of a jerk Rob was, and how alike he was to Edward, to try and share the misery.
As our two groups gravitated together, I looked him over. At first glance, I had to admit, Rob was a very good looking guy. The photos Lauren had of him did not do him justice. He looked to be just under six foot, but had very broad shoulders and a narrow waist, giving him a tapered but almost stocky look. He was dressed well, a pair of dark jeans and a long sleeve, collared maroon shirt, cuffed at the elbows, an expensive looking silver watch on his wrist. His face was rugged, with a firm jaw covered in dark stubble, and a wide, classic roman nose. Light bluish grey eyes looked out from under thick, heavy brows, and his demeanor hinted at 'bad boy.'
Definitely handsome, sort of a taller, thinner version of Russell Crowe.
Yes, I grudingly could see the appeal.
Rob stepped up to us, and looked at Lauren with open surprise; his eyes did a quick circuit up and down her body, which I am 100% certain she noticed, and I smiled, wanting to do a happy jig for her.
He reigned in his surprise quickly, though. "I'm surprised to see you here. I didn't know you knew Josh Stephenson?"
Lauren just tipped her head a tiny bit, still playing it cool. "I don't, but my brother told me about the party, and, well, here we are."
He nodded, looking at her again, his eyes definitely roaming her outfit as she stood there non-chalantly. His eyes eventually moved to Andrew, and then to me. Unfortunately, he gave me the same once-over he gave to Lauren, a slow circuit over my body, and I knew Lauren would catch that too, and her teeth were probably grinding now.
I wanted to yell at him, maybe punch his stupid, handsome jaw. I mean, I was the wingman, right? Bashing the heads of stupid ex-boyfriends were part of the job-description?
I decided to be my supportive self again, keeping him from walking off from what was suddenly an awkward silence. So, with what I hoped was a genuine smile that I had to force, I reached out a hand to him in introduction. "I'm Bella, and this is Andrew," I said, gesturing to Andrew who had stepped up beside me. I purposefully left Andrew's designation vague, as I tried to make it seem like I was with him, so that Rob would leave me alone and talk with Lauren.
Rob smiled at me, all crinkled eyes and white teeth. "Nice to meet you Bella," he answered. "These are my friends Steven, Kim, and Peter." The three people he motioned to all gave sort of half waves or little smiles. The other two people who had been near them kept walking, and I assumed they weren't part of the same friend group.
"It's nice to meet all of you," I said, nodding at the named trio. I wanted his attention off me, and back to Lauren, and I kept my eyes on the threesome.
Luckily, Andrew came through for me. "Hey, are you Rob Howell? On the UW lacrosse team?"
His eyes moved from me, darted back to Lauren, and finally to Andrew. "Yes, do you go to UW? You look familiar."
Andrew nodded, and then he and Rob chatted a bit, talking about school and people they knew there. Lauren got into a small conversation with the boy who had been introduced as Peter. The awkward moment passed, and soon we were all chatting away, and I noticed happily that Lauren and Rob seemed to be standing next to one another, almost close enough to rub elbows, even if they were not talking alone yet.
I saw him sneak glances at her quite often, so I knew he was very aware of how close she was. And his eyes frequently looked lower: he was definitely checking her out.
After a few minutes of easy conversation, Andrew noticed my drink was finished. "Hey, Bella, let's get you another drink."
It seemed this was what Rob's group had been planning on anyway, and we all were soon walking back towards the bar. When I saw Rob drop back and start talking to Lauren, I wanted to do a happy dance for her.
Mission accomplished! I guess I was a pretty good wingman!
Andrew noticed my wide smile, and looked at me quizzically. "What's up Bella?"
I leaned up to him, pitching my voice for his ears only. "Rob is Lauren's ex-boyfriend."
"Ah," Andrew said, his eyes sparkling. "And I suppose it wasn't just a coincidence that we ended up near that carriage house then?" he whispered conspiratorially to me.
I surprised myself by giggling. "Very astute observation," I teased.
He laughed as we walked up to the bar, and were rejoined by Angela and Jessica. Andrew asked me what I was having, and I was soon sipping another drink, small-talking with a group of people who would walk in and out of our various groupings.
I met several interesting people, all of them attending UW, though not all from the Seattle campus. I quickly realized that my friends and I were possibly the youngest people at the party. No one I talked to was still in high school.
Andrew stayed mostly by my side, though he wandered off a few times. He asked me if I wanted to dance, and I confided in him that I was a klutz and that I had two left feet. He teased me that it couldn't be that bad, but Jessica, who had been standing with us at the time and got louder as she got more into her drink, quickly corrected him. "Oh yes, trust me, it is that bad! Bella is famous in gym - everyone avoids her throws, racket swings, and kicks!"
Andrew raised his eyebrow at Jessica's remark, but I sheepishly nodded. "Yes, it's true. I'm a danger to my own team - and myself - every time we play anything."
He laughed, and told me he was going to find someone to dance with. He asked for my phone number, saying if I came up to UW, or if he was back in Port Angelas, we could text and see if we could meet up.
I knew I had to do this, I had to let myself live again, so I put on a smile that was not completely false and nodded. He was a nice guy, and we could definitely be friends. We exchanged numbers, and he gave me a small hug and kiss on the cheek before walking off.
Angela, despite talking to someone, gave me a small smile and a wink, causing me to blush.
Sometime later, while I was still nursing my drink and had wandered away from the bar, I spied Lauren talking to her brother and a few other people I had not met. The ex was nowhere in sight, and Lauren looked a little unstable on her feet. I had not seen Andrew again either, and after talking briefly with a few snooty girls missed his easy company. More people must have arrived, as the open spaces of earlier were a bit more crowded now, most people standing elbow to elbow with someone else. I decided to go over and see how Lauren was doing, when a tall man in a dark sports coat suddenly stepped up to our group, seeming to dominate everyone's attention.
"Hello, everyone. I hope you are all having a good time?"
His voice was very smooth, and I let my eyes trail up and down his lean frame. He was very tall, probably a good six three or six four, almost as tall as Jake. He was dressed sharply, in a tailored dark sports coat, grey pleated slacks, and a blue button-down shirt. His hair was dark, maybe black, and his eyes were a mesmerizing deep, cobalt blue.
He was, in a nutshell, incredibly handsome.
I didn't listen to what my companions said to his question, nor did I answer him: my eyes were glued to his face. I quickly realized that this must be the host of the party. I heard introductions being made, but didn't pay them any attention.
He was that distracting to look at.
Suddenly, his eyes were focused on me, his mouth turned in a small smile as he stepped-up in front of me. "And you are?" His voice was silky, and his hand was outstretched, reaching for mine. With a monumental effort, I wrenched my attention from his handsome face.
"Bella Swan," I stammered, placing my hand in his open palm.
His smile widened, and I could not help but smile back, little butterflies doing flips in my stomach. "Delighted to meet you, Bella. I'm Josh Stephenson. Are you a student at UW too?"
He had not released my hand yet, which felt very warm and comfortable in his own; our eyes had stayed locked on each other's, and I felt hyperaware of every little sensation and everything around me, my body suddenly feeling like it was waking-up from a long, tired sleep.
In my peripheral vision, I noticed that Jessica, and maybe Angela and Lauren too, were suddenly paying attention to us, and I realized I had not answered his question. "Umm, no, I am a senior at Forks High School," I finally replied, my cheeks flushing and those butterflies kicking up another notch.
What was happening? I had not felt an immediate attraction like this since I had met Edward.
He smiled down at me again, his blue eyes sparkly, scrambling my wits. He was still gently holding my hand, and I was sure he must have felt it trembling. "Forks?" He looked at me with a raised eyebrow for a moment, and then his eyes seemed to scrutinize my face more carefully. After a moment, his smile got even wider, perfectly straight, white teeth causing my insides to squirm. "Are you Isabella Swan, on the cover of the Forks Charity Calendar?"
Unfortunately for me, our extended handshake and blatant eye-lock seemed to have attracted the attention of several groups of people in the bar area, and he said this last bit louder than I would have liked; So, since he was not only the host of the party and would be the center of attention anyway, I think everyone near the bar turned towards us now, curious faces peering at us in a wide circle, making my face heat up like the sahara.
I took a deep breath, trying to center myself, aware that my hand - still held firmly in his - was suddenly a bit damp. I tried to steady my nerves, and willed myself to answer without stammering in front of this beautiful man. "Yes, that's me." I said simply.
I finally managed to pull my hand back, and gestured to my friends as I tried to deflect everyone's attention off of me. "Jessica, Lauren, and Angela - my classmates and best friends - were in it with me." A few heads turned towards them, but I don't think I was as successful as I hoped in diverting interest away from myself.
Josh quickly glanced at my friends, smiling or nodding slightly, before looking back to me. "Well, I have to say that it's very impressive what you have done, for a really good cause too. Someone showed me the calendar a few days ago, and I made a donation on your website."
My face broke in a wide, genuine smile at that, my happiness at his charity overcoming my dismay at being the center of attention. "Thank you so much!" I said, pleased with his generosity. "They really need the money, donations just dried up last year."
His answering smile was, quite simply, dazzling. His eyes again locked onto my own, and I suddenly was trapped in his absolutely electric gaze.
As we continued to stare at one another, I felt a stirring deep in my belly.
Maybe it was the three drinks, or maybe it was the fancy party. Maybe it was that enough time had finally passed since Edward left and I was ready to live again. But whatever the reason, I felt the first real stirrings of attraction and desire since getting ditched in the woods last September.
As his smile widened, it felt like a steel band that had been constricting my chest - and that I'd not even been aware of - began to loosen inside of me. And as I breathed freely, I smiled wider too, wider than I had in a long time.
I felt alive, my blood singing in my veins, my heart thumping again - sensation's I'd forgotten. And as my lungs felt full for perhaps the first time in six months, I realized that Josh Stephenson had just completely and utterly dazzled me.
A/N - Okay, she has met HIM. Bit of a Lust at First Sight. Where will this go?
