Act 2: The Multiple Choices


Auggie Sampson slipped into a foam preserver and rolled it down the hill. His pursuers—Fillmore, Ingrid, and Ed—all did the same. They rode their preservers after Auggie without any known chance of losing him.

The chase lead them to a cheerleading practice session. The boys all missed the cheerleaders who made their pyramid, but Ingrid accidentally managed to knock them all down. She apologized and continued the chase.

Auggie used a skating park to turn with the Safety Patrol officers following him. He lead them over to the dock where Auggie jumped out at the last minute. Fillmore however didn't have the chance. He flew off the dock and into the lake. He swam back up to see Auggie standing back at the dock.

"Have a nice swim, Fillmore." Auggie said. But then, he was stopped by Ed Nygma who grabbed him by his shoulder. Ingrid stood behind him.

"Did you seriously forget about us?" Ed asked rolling his eyes. "Some criminal mastermind. Now, why don't we skip to the part where you tell us where you hid the lobster costume?"

"Lobster costume?" Auggie asked.

"You know." Fillmore said climbing back up to the dock. Ed moved on to inspect the contents of the cardboard box. "The one you used to steal the SATTY-9 tests."

"SATTY-9 tests?" Auggie asked.

"Will you stop doing that?" Ingrid asked. She then saw Ed opening the box with a befuddled expression. "What is it?"

"I… Well…" Ed struggled to say before giving up. "I can't come up with a good riddle for this. This box is full of tartar sauce packets."

"What?" Fillmore asked looking in. "He's right."

"It's just the best tartar sauce in the world." Auggie said. "I couldn't help myself. It was I who stole them from the cafeteria, for I love tartar sauce!"

"You love… tartar sauce?" Ingrid asked.

"That's a really weird hobby." Ed commented.

"Listen." Auggie pleaded. "Maybe we can work something out. I know the word on the street. I know who you guys should talk to about the tests."

"Who?" Fillmore asked.

"Seth Crissie." Auggie answered.

"Seth Crissie?" Ingrid asked. "I know him. He took the test too. But it couldn't be him. He's not a bad guy."

"I'm just telling you the word on the street." Auggie said. "Apparently, he had a meltdown during the test."

"He did look paranoid during the test." Ed said.

"Word on the street also says that Seth frequently hangs out at the Egg Rollery restaurant downtown." Auggie said. "If you go now, you might run into him. If not, he'll be there later."

"Thanks, Auggie." Fillmore said. "Guess we know where we're going next."


"What do you mean, I have to pay?" Ed asked as he and the others entered the restaurant.

"Exactly what it sounds like." Ingrid answered. "While we look for Seth, you'll be treating me to lunch."

"Why do I have to?" Ed asked.

"What gets wetter the more it dries?" Ingrid asked smugly. "I told you you'd pay."

Ed grumbled angrily. He took Fillmore and Ingrid's orders and asked the counter guy. What they didn't know was that Seth was already there hiding his face behind a newspaper. Once they got their food, the trio sat on a table that was adjacent to Seth's.

"This whole thing's crazy, guys." Ingrid said. "Kids like Seth, they don't do stuff like this."

"Don't underestimate what a person is capable of." Ed said. "Everybody's got a motive. And the SATTY-9 is the most obvious motive in this case."

Seth got nervous hearing the conversation. He knew he was busted, so he had to escape. Quickly, he grabbed his lunch and tossed it to the trio. They knocked it away, but it proved to be a distraction leaving him an opening to run out the door. The Safety Patrol followed him out.

"He's heading towards the bridge!" Fillmore said. "We'll cut him off! Ingrid, stay after him! I'll go left! Nygma, you go right!"

The three of them split at the next intersection. As Ed ran around the city block, he failed to notice Elliot Funston until it was too late. Ed fell to the ground.

"Oops. Sorry." Elliot said.

"What are you doing here?" Ed asked picking himself up.

"Well, I got a new pair of boxers." Elliot asked. "I also got some chrysanthemums for my girl. They're her favorite and…"

"Don't care!" Ed yelled running past him hoping to make up for the couple seconds he lost.

Ed circled back until he reached the opposite end of a bridge he would have crossed if he had been chasing Seth with Ingrid. He was relieved to see the other two had caught him, but was confused to see the disappointed look on Fillmore's face and the ashamed look on Ingrid's.

"What happened?" Ed asked.

"We caught Seth, but barely." Fillmore said. "Ingrid was willing to let him go."

"Excuse me?" Ed asked looking back at Ingrid who looked even more ashamed. "Well, this should be interesting."


The Safety Patrol dragged Seth back to X Middle School. They put him in an interrogation room with a handheld video game console to play on. Meanwhile, on the other side of the one-sided mirror, Fillmore, Ingrid, and Ed stood, but there was some tension in the air.

"You were gonna let him go." Fillmore said.

"I thought about it." Ingrid said. "But I was going to get him."

"You almost didn't." Fillmore said.

"Should I say something or…"

"No, Ed. This is between me and Ingrid." Fillmore said before turning to his partner. "Be straight with me."

Ingrid frowned and looked over at Seth. "I know Seth. He's creative. He does these cool, little cartoons about a pig named Shmogooky. He invented a candy bar wrap that keeps it from melting in your pocket. But you don't see that in a SATTY-9 score. For a second, I just thought… maybe the world would be better off without those answer sheets."

"That test may be beat," Fillmore said, "But there's a right way to fight it. Protesting. Giant banners. Editorials. Hard jams with harder rhymes. Going the other way is a sucker move. We have a job. We don't make the rules."

Ed looked at Ingrid's frown and for some reason sympathized with her. He was about to speak up, but he remembered it wasn't his place. He just let them continue their talk.

"I only forgot that for a second."

"But Ingrid, you forgot that." He looked away with a worried frown. "It looks like what Sage said is already starting."

"Sage?" Ingrid asked. "What does he…"

Suddenly, the interrogation door opened. Vallejo walked in with a cardboard box he carried. The three of them dropped their conversation and met up with Seth in the other room.

"It was just where you said it was, Seth." Vallejo said. "Next, you tell us where you put the lobster costume."

"Lobster costume?" Seth asked.

"The lobster costume you used to steal the tests." Fillmore clarified.

"I didn't steal any tests." Seth said. His confused expression made his story more believable.

Vallejo opened the box and looked inside finding scraps of paper. "Cheat sheets. Tons of them."

"At least it's not tartar sauce." Ed said.

"I… cheated. Isn't that why you were after me?" Seth asked.

"No." Fillmore said.

"We're running out of time." Vallejo said stating the ominous obvious.