A/N: Thanks as always to my two betas, CineFille and LulaBo, who are talented and lovely girls.

Part 8

Lorelai walked along the streets to the main thoroughfare and the shop where Luke was working. The clapboard houses were painted different colors and wooden painted signs hung out front. Lorelai pushed the hair away from her neck, letting the breeze cool her down. She knew she had probably overstayed her welcome and was surprised that Sookie hadn't been calling her in a panic, wondering if she was ever coming back. As Lorelai rounded the corner to the store front, she heard laughing. She glanced down at the bag of sandwiches in her hand and then back up at the scene in front of her. Sitting awfully closely to Luke, who was perched on the steps of the store, with a paper cup in his hand, paper from a sandwich beside him, was a girl she didn't recognize. The girl's shoulder length light brown hair was swept up in a knot, making Lorelai finger her own, messy from the breeze. The girl's hand was on Luke's shoulder as she sat on the step behind him, her back resting on the banister railings as they laughed. She looked like Rachel. At first, Lorelai had thought it was Rachel, but no, this girl's hair was darker and her features were different. But she had the same kind of aura. A natural glow and she wore casual clothes, like she could jump up and go camping or fishing at any moment.

Luke was smiling, like he had smiled that day after the rainstorm, when he kissed her. When they had—Lorelai didn't think she had made a sound, standing there, shocked into silence as she took in the scene, but she realized she must have because Luke looked up, his face falling as he wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up. He said something, but Lorelai didn't hear. She had let the bag fall to the ground, the contents spilling, as she turned on her heel and fled back towards the other shops and restaurants. She ducked in a bookstore and waited until she saw Luke walk past, then hurried out. She considered all her options, trying to figure out where she could go. She couldn't go to his house; he would look there first. She walked instead to the opposite direction, toward the water.

So that's why Luke had been so content to stay here. Her.

She wandered around the docks, shielding her eyes from the sun as she watched one of the lobster boats come in and saw families picnicking or coming in from a trip around the harbor. Lorelai couldn't focus on anything too long. Her mind kept going back to what she had seen. She wasn't sure what else to do or where to go but home, but all her things were still at Luke's. She wound her way back to her car and sped back through town.

Liz was out on her porch, which doubled as a workshop, when Lorelai pulled up. "Hey!" she called, opening the screen door for her. "Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?"

Lorelai shrugged. "I don't want to interrupt you."

"Oh no, you're not. I was just putting the new things on chains. See?"

Lorelai fingered the necklace. "That's gorgeous. What is that? Pewter?" Her hand went back up to the chain around her own neck; the one Luke had given her so long ago.

"Yeah. So? Coffee?"

"Always." Lorelai dropped in a chair as Liz went in to get the drinks.

"You look beat. Is something wrong?"

"Who's that girl that works in the store? With Luke?"

Liz paused, handing Lorelai her cup. "Uh, Jennifer? No, Sara. I don't know her very well. Why?"

"I just uh…I saw them together today and--"

"You're in love with my brother, aren't you?"

"Liz…"

Liz made a face. "Sorry. You saw them together and what?"

"It bothered me. They were being overly friendly. I sound silly, I know."

"No, no, you don't."

"Be honest," Lorelai said slowly. "Has he…you know, been seeing anyone?"

"Are you kidding me?" Liz chuckled but caught Lorelai's look. "Sorry. But no. He's moped around for months. Seriously, this is the happiest I've seen him. I never did understand why he left anyway."

"Neither did I," Lorelai snorted. "But I'm scared."

"Don't be. Go talk to him. Things will be fine."

But how do you know? Lorelai wanted to whine.

"Don't hate me if I screw things up."

"You won't."

"How do you know?"

"I just know my brother, now go."

Lorelai regarded Liz for a moment, finishing her coffee. "I do love him. I've loved him for a long time, I think."

If Liz was caught off guard by her honesty, she didn't show it. She just patted Lorelai's leg and assured her. "You'll be fine."

Lorelai took her time, meandering through the town in the Jeep before she passed the Bar Harbor Inn and slammed on her brakes. She walked out to one of the wide verandahs, down from the inn's dining area, and watched the couples, her gaze traveling out over the water. Her thoughts came together and broke apart, occasionally punctured by the breeze rustling through the trees or a woman's laughter. She let herself think about Luke and that girl for only a second at a time and then she made herself focus on the water, because it hurt too much to think about anything else.

The sky had begun to fade from pink to a dark purple before she saw Luke walking across the lawn towards her. She sat frozen in the chair, wanting to turn away from him, at least shy away from his touch, but she knew she couldn't.

They couldn't stay there, she knew. So he followed her back to his house. Lorelai felt wary of his gaze, even from inside her Jeep. She glanced in the rearview mirror while sitting at one of the few stoplights in town, but the cab of his truck was dark, she couldn't see his face. They stood at the door in silence as Luke unlocked it and let Lorelai inside in front of him.

Lorelai had so many things she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure how to put them into words. She almost felt as if the whole thing--Luke sending her letters and showing up at Rory's graduation--was a set-up. But as furious and as hurt as she was, she didn't think Luke would do that.

She thought about how she had been so careless as to be hopeful. That, in itself, was almost worse than finding him with a girl. She didn't know where to start so she was quiet until he spoke.

"Please, say something, Lorelai."

"I'm not sure you want me to say anything right now," she told him stiffly, turning away from him as she let the tears sting the corner of her eyes.

Luke sighed. "It's not what you think."

At this careless, patented excuse, Lorelai's temper flared even more. She whirled around to face him. "No, it's never what I think, is it?" She could feel the tears race down her cheeks and could hear the sob in her voice, but she didn't care. She needed him to see this, to see how exposed she was. "Was any of this what I thought? Does it even mean anything to you, Luke? Because right now, I have my doubts."

"She's just a friend," Luke replied dismissively. "And don't tell me you haven't dated since I left. I know how you are, Lorelai." The words seemed to fly across the room and fling themselves onto Lorelai's face. He hated himself for saying it, because he knew it wasn't true. He hated her for always being able to get under his skin, even when she wasn't in his face yelling at him.

Lorelai waited for a second for his apology, but his accusatory tone rang in her ears and she couldn't wait for him to revoke the statement. "How am I then? Huh? Because I haven't dated, much less looked at anyone else." She paused to breathe, her throat as tight as the fists clenched at her sides. "Don't you get it? I miss you."

Luke, who had been stunned back into silence after her outburst, finally said, "I already told you…"

"How hard it is? Yes, it is hard. I don't know what else I can tell you." Lorelai surprised herself by stepping towards him, cupping his cheek in her hand for a second before letting it fall back to her side, stepping away from him, from the temptation of comfort and safety that he used to provide. "What can I say to change your mind? Because there is no point in me staying here, getting my hopes up if you're just going to shatter them." Lorelai swallowed thickly. "It was hard for me to come here. But I was glad that I did. I thought things might change, you might see that things are different. But today, I saw her and I felt like I had been replaced. It was…" Luke had stood stiffly since she had stepped away from him and only now did Lorelai notice him move out of the corner of her eye.

"Then you don't know me as well as you think if you thought someone could replace you." His gruff, low tones reach her ear and she closed her eyes briefly, remembering the reverent tones he had used with her just a day before as they lay on the couch together, when they went dancing. She felt the heat from his body as he walked up behind her, could feel the hesitation as he debated whether or not to touch her. "No one can, Lorelai. But I just don't think…"

She turned, practically in his arms, the light from the moon catching the side of her face, letting Luke see the streaks of mascara around her eyes. "Don't," she practically whispered, not wanting it to be true, just wanting to hold onto her fantasy a little bit longer. "Say you love me. Say it. Because I know that's true. I don't know what you came here to figure out, but it's…." His gaze had dropped from hers as she begged him to love her. She ground her nails into the palms of her hands and stepped back. "It's been too long. I'm done." She was done missing him so hard it hurt, done waiting for him to come back and be with her, done waiting for him to tell her that they would be alright. Her voice faltered on the last statement, but it was clear that Luke heard her. As she stepped towards the hallway, leading to the tiny guest room, she heard him call out.

"Lorelai, please…don't go."

"No, Luke," she simply shook her head. "I spent all this time looking and waiting, we both waited to find each other. And after all that…" She trailed off. They both knew what happened after that. How they had slowly fallen apart. How they found themselves here now, hundreds of miles away from Stars Hollow, trying to mend what they had both wanted so badly once. "I tried to fix it…" Swallowing, she stepped towards her bedroom, gathered her things, most of which were already neatly folded in her bag, and crept out the back door, letting the creak of the screen door be the last thing Luke heard of her.

Luke came home every day for the next week expecting to see the Jeep in the driveway and Lorelai on his porch again. He knew he was crazy to think it. Lorelai had let him crush her so many times before, that if he was in her position, he probably would have left for good a long time ago as well. Even if they had decided to pursue things again, there was nothing to say one of them wouldn't freak out and start the cycle all over again. At the same time, he had never found it so hard to have someone come in and out of his life the way Lorelai did. He wanted her to stay.

A part of him wondered when he had become so bitter. He needed to suck it up and tell her that she was worth it. Even if they managed to blow it or his biggest fear came true and one of them got taken away from the other by illness, the moments he had with her were worth it. He thought about the way she tucked so perfectly into his arms on the dance floor, how he caught her staring at him when she thought he wasn't looking, her smile when he woke up next to her. Now all he could see was Lorelai hurt and utterly broken. He used to be the one to pick up the pieces and he needed to get back there somehow.

Maine and Bar Harbor were quickly becoming claustrophobic. Everywhere he turned he seemed to be reminded of her. It was the reason he had left Stars Hollow and ironically, made him want to go back.

tbc...