I thought this was a really short chapter, but apparently, by word count, it's the longest one? Something seems weird - but no worries...I'll just continue with the rest in a new chapter tomorrow:)


Chapter 11

Jack nodded slightly in greeting. "Sawyer."

Then he looked down and with an expression of vague amusement asked, "Is that a gun in your hand, or are you just glad to see me?"

Sawyer looked down too, still not quite over his shock. He'd forgotten he was even carrying it around. "I was expectin' someone else," he said quickly, moving aside to let Jack in.

"I see," Jack replied, as if he wasn't particularly surprised that Sawyer would answer the door with a gun. He stepped into the kitchen and, without waiting to be invited, pulled out a chair at the table and sat down.

"Have a seat, Doc," Sawyer said sarcastically, setting the gun down on the countertop and trying to will his heart to stop thudding so heavily. He would have preferred to have led Jack into the living room somehow. Kate was practically right under their feet. But it would seem suspicious if he did it now, after he'd already sat down.

"What brings you to Tennessee? You takin' your services on the road?" He pulled out a chair and joined Jack at the table.

"Not exactly." He looked around curiously. "So...this is your house, huh? It's cleaner than I expected."

If only he knew who'd been cleaning it, Sawyer thought. Out loud, he asked, pointedly, "Somethin' I can help you with, Jack?"

He made sure to mention his name, because he knew Kate could hear every word they were saying from the root cellar. He'd hidden down there as a kid numerous times while his mother entertained "friends" - including the son-of-a-bitch who had destroyed all of their lives, the original Sawyer. So he was aware of how easily the conversation from the kitchen could be heard from there. If she hadn't recognized Jack's voice immediately (which he assumed she had), then now she would know for sure. If she wanted to come out, she would. He wasn't going to be the one to let Jack know she was there if that wasn't what she wanted. He would leave the decision up to her.

Jack sighed, clearly not wanting to get to the point but seeing no other way around it. "I'm assuming you've heard by now." He paused. "About Kate."

Sawyer tried to act completely unaffected. From the second he'd seen Jack standing in the doorway, he'd had a vague suspicion that his reason for being here would have something to do with her, but now there was no doubt left in his mind.

"I heard she managed to give the bastards the slip again. All's I can say is, good for her."

Jack looked as if he'd expected this response. "Yeah, well...unfortunately, it's not quite that simple."

"And why's that?"

"That accident she caused? The driver of the car had internal bleeding - they didn't detect it at first. He's in a coma, and...apparently, it doesn't look good. He probably won't live."

Sawyer didn't know what to say. All he could think about was the fact that Kate was listening to this.

Jack went on. "But obviously, that's the least of her worries...considering everything else." He looked at Sawyer questioningly. "Do you even know what she did?"

"No," he said quickly. "And I ain't interested in hearin' their version of it, either. So don't bother to tell me." Even though his curiosity was killing him, nothing would induce him to put her through the torture of listening to her past history being narrated (probably wrongly) by somebody else.

Jack looked confused, but didn't insist. "Well, suffice it to say, it's a hell of a story." He stopped. "She's..." He gave a short, ironic laugh. "She's a complicated girl."

Sawyer was getting pissed. "So what the hell are you botherin' to tell this to me for? You always travel across the country to make chit-chat about past acquaintances?" Remembering the car parked in the driveway, he asked incredulously, "Did you drive here?"

"To be honest, I'm not really in a big hurry to get on a plane again."

"So you spent three, four days to get out here just to talk about Kate? No offense, doc, but don't you got better things to do?"

Did that sound natural enough? He was trying to think of the words he would have said if he hadn't seen her - if this visit really had come shockingly out of nowhere as he was trying to make it seem it had. Was that what he would have said?

Jack looked at him closely. "I guess I thought there was a chance you might have seen her."

"And why would you think that?" He tried to look steadily at him.

"I don't know, just...a gut feeling, I guess. I thought she might come to you for help."

Sawyer swallowed, a little unnerved that Jack would have guessed that. He must know her pretty well, after all.

"Nope. Haven't seen her. Sorry to disappoint ya." Did that sound convincing?

There was a short silence. Sawyer suddenly realized, with a slight sinking feeling in his gut, that Jack was staring down at Kate's shopping list that they'd accidentally left lying on the table. Did he know her handwriting? Surely he wouldn't have had occasion to see it on the island, would he?

But on closer examination, he noticed that Jack seemed to be looking through the list, rather than at it. He wasn't focusing on anything, and after a few seconds he glanced back around the kitchen. Sawyer was relieved. He tried to think of something else to say.

"How'd you find out where I live?" It was amazing to him that people kept finding him here, considering the lengths to which he went to protect his true identity.

Jack looked like he didn't want to answer. "They, uh...they had pretty detailed information on everybody who was on the island. Names, addresses, phone numbers...at least the ones who have phones," he said, looking pointedly at Sawyer.

But that wasn't the part of the sentence that caught his attention. "They? Who's 'they?' "

Jack hesitated for a second, and then sighed. "The FBI. They're the ones leading the search for her now - it's that high-profile."

Sawyer was confused at first, but then the truth of the situation began to dawn on him. He shook his head slowly in contempt and almost smiled. "I shoulda known."

He looked at Jack directly, accusingly. "Those sons-a' bitches sent you here, didn't they? What are they tryin' to do, get you to flush her out for 'em?"

Jack didn't reply. He looked pained.

Sawyer went on, bitterly. "I always knew you were a team player, doc, but I gotta say, I never thought you'd stoop this low. Probably wearin' a bug right now, aren't ya?"

"No, I'm not wearing a bug!" Jack finally answered, angry. "You really think I'd do that to her?"

"Then what the hell are you here for?"

"I just wanted to talk to her," he went on, more quietly. "This running...it's just...It's not the smart thing to do, at this point. She needs to hear that from somebody who actually has her best interests in mind."

"You think she oughtta turn herself in?"

Jack met his eyes. "Considering what's going to happen to her if she doesn't, yeah. I do. It's really the only choice she has."

Sawyer looked at him like he was crazy.

Jack went on. "They're willing to offer her some kind of agreement. If she comes forward herself, her sentence will be much lighter - with the right lawyers, it's conceivable that it could be reduced by as much as half. She's only in her twenties...if she goes ahead and serves her time, then she could still have a shot at a normal life when she gets out."

Sawyer exhaled bitterly. "I've heard some stupid shit in my time, but that just about takes the cake. You honestly think they're gonna cut her some kinda break? After everything she's put 'em through - after makin' 'em look like jackasses by gettin' away every time? And on top of what she did originally...especially if it's as bad as you said it was? Tell me you ain't that much of an idiot, Jack."

"I'm not saying they'll make it easy for her, but it's still better than the alternative." He paused, looking miserable. "She's gonna end up getting killed, Sawyer. If she keeps this up, it's only a matter of time. And even if she manages to be taken alive, the best she can hope for is life without parole."

"I don't know what the hell you're tellin' me this for," he said sullenly. Hearing all this made him feel ill. There was some truth to the words, but it was nothing he wanted to think about right now.

Jack looked back down at the table. "I don't know. I guess it's just nice to say it to somebody else who's on her side, for a change." Pausing, he went on quietly. "I'm scared for her. I know that's ridiculous...I only knew her for a month. Still...the thought of what's gonna happen to her just...makes me sick." He shook his head, sadly. "She can't keep running for the rest of her life."

"Guess she plans to test that theory," Sawyer said quietly. He wished more than anything that he'd gotten Jack out of the kitchen. Kate shouldn't have to listen to this.

"I guess so." After a few seconds, Jack looked at Sawyer again, searchingly. "You really haven't heard from her at all?"

"Didn't I already answer that?" he replied, trying to sound annoyed rather than nervous.

Jack nodded, seemingly in acceptance. "Well, then I guess...this was a wasted trip. Thought it might be worth a shot, anyway." He stood up. "I'll just be on my way."

Sawyer couldn't resist asking, "What makes you think she woulda listened to your advice, even if you'd found her?"

He thought for a second. "I don't know. I guess I was just hoping she would want to do the right thing. Maybe nobody's ever bothered to try to get her to do that before." He shot Sawyer a meaningful glance at the last words, but not as if he was trying to be insulting.

Sawyer stood up too. "Ever think maybe your idea of what's right ain't the same as her idea of what's right?"

Jack didn't answer at first. He was looking into the pantry, acting distracted. "That's probably true," he said slowly, but as if he wasn't really paying attention.

Opening the screen door, he turned back to Sawyer with a strange, melancholy expression. "If by any chance you happen to see her in the future, tell her..." he paused. "Tell her I miss her. And that... I'm glad I got to know her, even if it was only for a month. I won't forget about her." He ducked his head a little, almost as if he was afraid of getting too emotional.

Sawyer was a little confused about what had brought this on, but he felt bad for the guy. It wasn't like he couldn't sympathize. It was Kate they were talking about, after all.

"I'll make sure to pass along the message if I come across her," he said softly. "Don't plan on it happenin', though."

"Yeah," Jack said shortly, almost smiling. "Well...just in case."

Sawyer followed him out onto the back porch and watched as he went down the steps. Jack glanced around appreciatively. "Nice place you got here."

"It's not bad."

"So..." Jack looked back up at him. "Thanks again for getting us off the island."

"You should thank Michael. I was just a passenger."

Jack nodded. "I'll see you, Sawyer."

"Yeah."

He watched as Jack disappeared around the side of the house, and continued to stand there until he heard his car start, listening to the fading crunch of the gravel as he made his way down the driveway. Finally, he went back in.

He looked into the pantry, wondering with dread what frame of mind Kate would be in after hearing all of that.

With a startled jerk, he saw that draped across the washing machine, in plain view, were the clothes she'd been wearing the day she was arrested on the island. Jesus Christ. He could have kicked himself.

Then...did Jack know? Was that what he'd been looking at? It had to be. But why hadn't he said anything? Sawyer's thoughts were a dizzying whirl of confusion.

Oddly enough, though, he wasn't all that worried. Despite his earlier accusations, he didn't really believe that Jack would rat her out or anything like that. Like he'd said, he wanted her to turn herself in, not get caught. Still...how could they have been so stupid to leave those clothes there?

He went into the room and kneeled onto the floor. Slowly, he lifted up the door of the cellar and looked down.

It was just as he'd thought. She was sitting on the floor, her head leaning forward to rest on her knees, and he could tell by the tense, almost vibrating motion of her shoulders that she was either sobbing or just on the verge of it.

For some reason, and to his complete surprise, the sight made him angry. Was it because he knew that nothing he could say would have the power to make her that upset?

"You want me to go after him?" he asked bitterly.

He could just barely make out a muted "No" in response.

Unable to stop himself, he went on. "Because I could probably still catch him if I drive fast enough...Just say the word, darlin', because I'm sure he'd be glad to..."

"I said NO!" she interrupted him sharply, finally raising her head.

He was horrified by the expression on her face. Not once since she'd been here had he seen her so emotionally raw, her pain so near the surface.

A wave of irrational anger towards Jack swept over him. Damn him. Things had been going so well lately. Or at least they'd been able to pretend thatthey had. But now he had to traipse in here with his moral superiority "do the right thing" bullshit and fuck everything up by making her doubt herself. He wished he could do their parting over again and send him off with a broken nose.

Standing up, she shakily climbed up the ladder. He tried to help her, but she shook him off, heading toward the screen door.

"I'm going for a walk," she said shortly.

"Like hell you are! It's the middle of the day, and it's a weekend. It's the worst possible time for you to be out there!"

"I don't care."

As she pushed open the door, he grabbed ahold of her arm.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Although he didn't really need to ask.

She froze, and in a barely audible voice said, "Let. go. of me."

He hesitated for a second, but there was no chance of restraining her. He could tell by the wild, distracted look on her face that she wouldn't give in. She needed to get away, to be alone for awhile. He released his grip.

Pushing the door open, she went through the backyard at a pace that was almost a run and disappeared behind the shed, probably headed toward the lake. He didn't try to follow her.


He heard her come back inside about half an hour later and head straight upstairs, firmly shutting the door of the room she'd been staying in. So apparently she wasn't in the mood for talking. Fine. He could handle that. He wouldn't have had a clue what to say, anyway. He still couldn't decide whether he should be more pissed at Jack for causing all this, or at her for letting herself be so affected by it.

The longer she remained up there, however, the more worried he grew. She hadn't made a sound all afternoon. He knew she had a tendency to brood alone when she was upset - he's seen her do it on the island, even - but this was getting ridiculous.

Finally, just when he was about to go up and demand that she snap out of it, he heard her coming downstairs. He looked up hopefully, but sighed in disappointment when he saw the look on her face. If anything, she looked more upset now than she had earlier. There was also a firm, unyielding set to her expression that indicated she'd made up her mind about something. He had an uneasy feeling he knew what it was.

His prediction was confirmed when she spoke.

Looking past him a little, she said almost distantly, "I'm going."

"Right now?"

She nodded shortly. "Yeah."

"It's not even dark yet." That was a ridiculous thing to say, he knew, but it was the first thing that popped into his head.

"It will be soon enough."

"Have you even eaten anything today?" Another idiotic thing to say.

She didn't even bother to reply this time. She just moved slowly toward the kitchen door. It was like she was in some kind of trance.

"So...just like that. You're off." he said bitterly.

She turned toward him again. "Who are we kidding, Sawyer? I can't stay here any more."

"Funny...you didn't seem to think that before Saint Jack stopped by this mornin' with his little holier-than-thou spiel."

She closed her eyes briefly at the mention of the visit. They hadn't really said anything about it yet. "Yes I did. And you know it. I was planning to go today anyway, remember?"

That was true, but neither one of them had really believed she would. The fact that she'd been prepared to add to the shopping list was evidence of that.

"Yeah, well that was before you got this upset...you look like you been through a damn air raid! You're not thinkin' straight - you go out there like this, you'll be behind bars by morning!"

With a strange, faraway expression on her face, she said softly, "You know what's funny? I don't even really care anymore."

He exploded. "Don't even think about givin' me that 'I don't care anymore' bit, sweetheart! I've seen the way you look every time there's been even the faintest possibility of gettin' caught this last week or so. It scares the hell outta you, whether you try to hide it or not! You really gonna let him do this to you? Make you think that since you don't have a chance, you might as well just give up? Because that's bullshit, Kate, and you know it! You made it this far, didn't you?"

She finally looked directly at him. Still speaking in a restrained, eerily calm voice, she said, "The only reason you're this pissed off, Sawyer, is because you know he's right. It doesn't really matter what I do. By staying here, I'm just putting you in danger too...and I won't do that anymore. It isn't fair."

"Would you listen to yourself! You're gonna wake up in a cell tomorrow and wish somebody'd beat some sense into you while there was still time. But by then it'll be too late, won't it?"

"Maybe so. But at least then I won't have to worry about it anymore. In a way, it'll be almost a relief."

"You've really lost it, haven't you?" he said in wonder. "Hell, I knew you had a thing for the doc, Freckles, but I didn't know he had mind-control powers - what's he got, some kind of voodoo doll that looks like you? He locks it in a box and suddenly you feel the overpowering need to go throw your life away?"

She sighed deeply. She knew he was just stalling with every tactic he could think of, no matter how absurd. But it was no use this time. As unstable as she felt, her mind was made up.

"This has nothing to do with Jack. All he did was remind me of what I already knew." She pushed open the door, sadly.

"Goodbye, Sawyer," she almost whispered. "Thank you...for everything."

He looked at her miserably. "If you leave here now...don't expect to come back. I don't run no boarding house. Invitation expires the second you walk out that door."

Tears immediately welled up in her eyes, and he felt like somebody'd stabbed him in the heart. She stared at him for a few drawn-out seconds, and he prayed to God that she was reconsidering.

Finally, she nodded once, painfully. "I understand."

Closing the screen door softly behind her, she went down the same steps she'd run down earlier, only this time she turned in the other direction - around toward the driveway.

He stepped over to the door. "Kate!"

She didn't turn or give any indication of hearing him. Within a few seconds, she was out of sight.

His rage and frustration overwhelming him, he turned back into the room and blindly, without even knowing what he did, overturned the kitchen table and sent it flying across the room.

Hearing the crash from the driveway, Kate paused briefly and closed her eyes. Then, taking a deep breath and trying to hold back her tears, she continued toward the road.