Chapter 35 – Huang

Thanks to nem, Katydidit, AglaiaWar, qt-angel, anonymousthinker, volleylover, Shellster, viol8dbyalizzard, Mika Tsuki, Lady Padfoot II, christopher-meloni-freak, and Opal Irises for reviewing.

nem, thanks for reviewing! Yeah, yeah. Get Olivia and Elliot together, I heard. Tsk, tsk. Everyone's so impatient. ;) You love a lot of things, uh? That would be so cool if we could get our fanfic stories published. I can't wait for the new season either! You are so welcome again for putting the songs titles on, it's no problem! I do care about my readers, mainly because you all are the reason for the even exsistence of this story. Anything to make you guys happy. :)

Katydidit, thanks for all the reviews! Okay, so I haven't been watching SVU all that long, so I'm not absolutely positive about this, but this it what I've gathered so far. In the beginning, Cassidy was Munch's partner. Later on, Jefferies came onto the show, but she didn't become Munch's partner until Cassidy transferred because he couldn't handle the cases. Then Jefferies told the shrink that she slept with a former suspect of hers, and she lost her job. Enter Fin, and here we are. Now don't quote me on that, because I'm not completely sure.

AglaiaWar, thanks for reviewing! Believe me, I'm killing everyone with this OE thing. Really, a writer took an FF idea for Buffy? That's pretty cool. I would love to see this turned into an episode too! Being a writer for Dick Wolf at fifteen, I could die happy. ;)

anonymousthinker, new reviewer! Much love to anyone who can read this entire story at one sitting! I'm glad you like the mixture of emotions! OE fluff? You and everyone else! ;) Give it time.

volleylover, thanks for reviewing! E-mail this to NBC, uh? That doesn't sound totally horrible, what would I have to lose? Just my pride and dignity if I'm completely rejected, right? Just kidding. But I have no idea how I'd go about doing that anyway. And I suppose they'd probably be looking more for a script, not a story. I appreciate the thought though! A lot of people had said that they'd like to see this turned into an episode.

viol8dbyalizzard, thanks for the reviews! Honey, it's not over! What'd you get that from? I still have a while to go! Keep reading! I'm so glad you love it!

Lady Padfoot II, thanks for reviewing! Oh, sad, long, monotonous paragraphs annoy you. Well, I'll keep those to a minimum. And this chapter has no action whatsoever, but I promise it's coming!

Opal Irises, another new reviewer! Thanks so much for saying I keep everyone in character! Aside from spelling and grammar, that's another thing I can't stand other writers messing up. So I try to keep them all in character as best I can! And the petition to start an OE, I'll add you to the list! You're only the millionth Elliot/Olivia shipper to beg me to start something between them! So sorry you're home sick. :( I hope another update will get you to feeling better! And you don't need to worry about me updating. As anyone of my numerous reviewers will tell you, I update every night! So I hope you keep reading!

Author's Note - This is a special appearance by Huang chapter. Just so you know, I am not going to be searching too deep into his mind. There is a very good chance I'd easily get lost. Anyway, I know this chapter is probably really mushy and sappy, but I kinda wanted it like that. I even got Munch tearing up! But it's all good, because things can go back to normal afterwards, somewhat...

Lyrics by Leann Rimes – Talk To Me

I can tell you've been crying on the inside
I can see right through your eyes what you're trying to hide
You got a real big wall covering up what you're feeling you see
Well, come on baby, work it on out and talk to me
Come on and talk to me
Come on and talk to me
All you need is a little trust to set you free
Here I am, don't hold back, baby talk to me
Baby I'm here, ready to hear what you're not saying
Come on and talk to me…

Huang

"You can start whenever you like," I offered Olivia as she stood in the corner of the room, as far away as possible from me. Her arms were crossed and she rarely made eye contact with me in the five minutes we'd been like this. I was sitting in a chair, facing an empty one that was meant for Olivia.

"How about you start?" She shot back, trying to conceal her anger that was more concerning her situation than me.

"What would like me to say?" I asked her, watching as she rolled her and unfolded her arms, sticking her hands into her pockets.

"That I can go and stop wasting my time here."

"So you think this is a waste of time?" I clarified.

"Among other things, yeah. I've been at SVU talking to victims for years. I know all the comforting words and techniques and everything else. I've also spent my whole life dealing with my mother's rape. I can handle my own. I don't need to be here."

"So because you've been around this all your life and dealt with it alone, you think you can handle this all by yourself now?" I asked curiously.

"I know I can," she stepped towards me, holding her hand to her chest.

"Fine." I shrugged. "Then since you already brought her up, let's talk about your mother."

"Why?" She immediately shied away from that topic.

"Because she has a lot to do with you, especially now."

I saw anger flash through her eyes. "She's been dead for four years now. This has nothing to do with her." She tried to avoid the topic by responding to it with anger and hostility.

"Olivia, you were conceived during her rape. Of course it has to do with her." I studied her as she looked away, trying to hide the tears glittering in her eyes. "Rape is a horrible crime, and you've been a victim of it twice. You really think you can handle that on your own?"

She shook her head, but not at my question. "My whole life's been because of rape, either in the fact that it's my job, or that it's the only reason I'm here. I thought that by becoming a police officer, I could 'fix' things. And that I could protect myself by locking all the people like my father," she used the term loosely, "away, and knowing how to prevent it from happening to me." She still never met my gaze as she studied the floor.

"You still think you should have been able to stop it?" She just nodded miserably. "Olivia, you know you couldn't have seen this coming or done anything to stop it. There would have been no precursors to even suggest that there was a threat. It's not like he targeted you or anything of the sort, he didn't even know you."

"I know," she shrugged, finally looking up to meet my stare, tears slipping from her eyes. "That's what scares me."

--XXX--

"Why do I have to be here? None of this is about me." As I watched the second SVU detective I'd seen today lean back in the chair, I knew it'd be a long day trying to get these people to open up. I knew the slight grudges they held towards me, though only because of my profession.

"And you don't think Olivia brought you into this when she first accused you of raping her?" I stared at Elliot, waiting for his answer.

"I was involved, but I'm not anymore," he half-folded.

"Well, then let's just talk about that. How did you feel when you first found out Olivia was accusing you of being her attacker?" I knew the only way to get Elliot to give you direct answers was to ask direct questions, leaving no room for him to dodge around the subject.

He shrugged, trying to figure out how to describe it. "Beyond words. I almost didn't believe it at first, until John jumped me."

"Why didn't you believe it?"

He looked up and paused before answering. "Because Olivia's my best friend. We put our life in each other's hands everyday. To think that she'd believe that I'd take her trust and life and crush it like that, it killed me."

"But now you harbor no resentment towards her, for anything that she did to you?"

"She didn't do anything to me," he snapped, outraged at the idea that I'd accuse her of such a thing.

"She said you raped her, and she attacked you, possibly giving you a skull fracture. I would call that something." I reminded him.

"The guy that did rape her, he looked exactly like me." He quickly started defending her. "It was dark, she was in the middle of being raped when she saw him. She couldn't have been more regretful when she found out. And when she attacked me, she still didn't know and she was traumatized at the time. Neither were her fault."

"What about John?" I changed the subject. "Do you still feel anger towards him for attacking you as well?"

"No." He shook his head, denying anger and resentment. Though he wasn't jumping to his defense either, like he had with Olivia.

"Why's that?"

"Because, like I told him, had our positions been switched, I would have beaten the crap out of him as well."

"Just to defend Olivia?"

He didn't answer, he simply responded with a shrug.

"Why are you so intent on defending her and protecting her?"

There was a silence as he thought about it. "Because," he spoke softly as his shoulders rose and fell again in their familiar fashion and a sadness glossed his eyes over, "I couldn't protect her the night she was raped."

--XXX--

"You know, we should really do this more often," the third SVU detective's sarcastic voice easily cut into the silence as he sat on the side of the desk in the room. "I told the Captain you and I don't get enough quality time together as it is."

"I'll make sure to let him know that," I played along, doing the familiar two-step that we were so accustomed to doing. Every time I tried to get near his cynical, comedic wall with anything personal, he'd throw out another joke and build it up another few inches. I rarely got true, heart-spoken answers from him. "So John, I take it you find these sessions just as pointless as everyone else?" It was more of a statement than anything.

"Are you kidding? I love having someone poking and prodding into my personal life just so they can tell me everything that's wrong with me. Wouldn't you?" He raised his eyebrows and glared at me over his glasses.

"I'm not here to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm not that kind of doctor," I pointed out.

"Oh, my mistake. You're here to talk about my 'feelings' and help me reconnect with my inner-child, right?"

"All right." I sighed like I was giving up. "Keep beating around the bush and joking. I have all day to wait for you to talk."

"That's another thing," he pointed his finger at me, "blackmail."

"Not blackmail," I shook my head, only allowing a hint of a smile on my face, "persuasive reasoning."

"Blackmail for shrinks," he translated, sitting in front of me, a signal that he'd be slightly open to answer my questions.

"I heard that you found the evidence that put Olivia's attacker in jail," I started out by stroking his ego, an attempt to open him up more.

"Yeah." There was an air of pride in his voice. "I just found some tissues, I didn't really do much.

While he spoke, I sensed there was a small hole in his defensive wall. I decided now was a better time than any to try to dive through it. "The night of the attack, Olivia came to you?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "She was knocking at my door at two in the morning."

"What's the first thing that came to your mind when she said she'd been raped?"

He genuinely pondered that for a moment. "That I had to get her to a hospital and then call the Captain." He came back with exactly what I knew he would, a professional answer.

"Just like any other case?" I questioned. "Like there was nothing different about it?"

John didn't even attempt an answer as he stared straight ahead, like he was looking right through me. After a minute of stillness, I decided to try something else.

"What thoughts went through your head after she first told you?"

"Anger," he immediately said.

"Anger at what?"

"Anger at the fact that something so horrific could happen to someone I care about so much." Right at that moment, a ray of light from the open window hit his face at such an angle, that I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes.

--XXX--

A/N - Don't even think it! It's just a friendship caring, nothing romantic going on between Olivia and John! Sorry, I just don't want a bunch of reviews asking me about it.