Don't freak out, people! I haven't spent 28 chapters making Sawyer and Kate fall in love only to turn this into a Jate fic. My heart is Skater, all the way. ;)
MistyX: No, it wouldn't make a difference if you were a writer, but if you aren't, you should consider trying it - because you think like one.
agentalana: I explain about the Knoxville/Nashville thing in this chapter. I'm glad somebody knows Tennessee geography - it makes me feel less insane about stressing over the details. Lol.
AmethystProngs: Should Kate already have scars on her arms? I don't know...am I forgetting something about Kate's past? I'm confused.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kate pulled back, dropping her arms and looking at Jack with a glow of pleasure, despite the discomfort she was still in.
"It's really good to see you," she said, and it was impossible to mistake the sincerity in her tone.
"You too," Jack replied with a crooked half-smile.
They regarded each other for a second, curiously, like old classmates reunited at a high school reunion. In a strange way, that was sort of what this felt like.
Suddenly, their attention was distracted by a sound coming from the doorway - a funny, high-pitched growl. They glanced over. The puppy stood looking at Jack, his tiny teeth bared, the hair above his shoulders raised and bristling. Since he was so small, the posture was more amusing than anything else, but Kate was still embarrassed.
"Gus!" she said in a reproving tone of voice. Then she looked at Sawyer, who had remained silent till this point. "Can't you make him stop?"
"What?" he said defensively, enjoying this. "Ain't that what we got him for...to protect you from intruders?" He pointedly emphasized the last word, angling his head toward Jack.
Kate closed her eyes for a second, and then stared at Sawyer with a fixed, meaningful look, willing him not to make a scene.
Giving in but holding her gaze challengingly, he walked over and scooped up the dog, carrying him over to the pantry to shut him in. Gus kept his wary eyes fastened on Jack the entire time.
As Sawyer set him down on the floor, he grinned secretly and gave him an extra-friendly scratch, reminding himself to mix the leftover chicken in the fridge with his dog food later. The damn pup deserved it after that little display.
"It's just that he never sees anyone but us," Kate said in explanation.
"It's okay," Jack said. "I'm sure you need all the help you can get."
Kate tensed at this reference to her fugitive status, glancing quickly at Sawyer as he stepped away from the pantry. He looked annoyed, and as if he might say something rude, so Kate hurriedly changed the subject.
"How have you been, Jack? You look so...clean, and...not sweaty."
He returned her smile. "Same for you. It's nice to have showers again, isn't it?"
"Yeah. That's one thing about the island that I don't miss."
"Hopefully not the only thing," Sawyer said with derision.
Jack studied Kate carefully, and then said in an approving tone, "You look like you've gained some weight, too."
"Oh," Kate said, surprised. "Well..."
Realizing the mistake he'd just made, Jack immediately became embarrassed. "Of course, that's the doctor in me talking, Kate. I didn't mean anything... Actually, you were too thin before... on the island. All I meant was that...you look good." He stopped, feeling how warm his face was.
"Nice one, doc," Sawyer muttered.
"It's fine," Kate said, trying not to laugh. "I knew what you meant, Jack."
"So," Jack went on, anxious to move to a safer subject. "Sawyer tells me you had a little accident with your arm."
"Yeah... you could call it that. It was stupid, really. I was climbing around on this..." She swallowed, her words cut off. Sawyer watched her closely, noticing that she seemed to be getting more pale by the second. She tried again. "I was climbing on a bed frame..." She halted again, a strange expression on her face. "I'm sorry." She looked up at Jack, awkwardly. "I just... feel a little dizzy, all of a sudden." Her voice trembled, and she looked around, searching for something to brace herself on.
Sawyer immediately moved toward her, but Jack was closer. He'd already pulled out a chair from the table.
"Here, sit down."
She collapsed into the chair, her face as white as a sheet. "Thanks," she whispered.
"Put your head between your knees, Kate... It'll help the dizziness pass," Jack advised her.
She followed his directions, saying, "It's probably just the morphine wearing off."
"Morphine?"
"Sawyer had some." Her voice sounded muffled. "Pills," she added.
"Why am I not surprised?" Jack asked, shaking his head. Sawyer gave him a withering look.
Kate continued to lean over for a few more seconds, then raised up, slowly.
"Better?"
Without opening her eyes yet, she nodded briefly. "Yeah."
"I should probably go ahead and take a look at your arm... there's no sense in wasting time. But this isn't really the best place." Jack looked up at Sawyer. "Do you have a couch somewhere?"
Sawyer looked at him like he was an idiot. "What the hell do you think?"
"You mind telling me where it might be, Sawyer?" He was trying to be patient.
"It's in the living room, Einstein. Where you keep yours at, next to the toilet?"
Kate sighed deeply. "I'll show you where it's at." She stood up, using the table for balance.
Placing his palm flat against her back to help her, Jack led her from the room, allowing her to point out the direction. Sawyer followed, feeling a dull, burning rage in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Jack's hand on Kate. He tried his best to control himself.
When they reached the living room, she sank down onto the couch, looking exhausted. Sawyer was fortunately distracted enough by worry to forget his anger for a minute. What the hell was causing her to deteriorate so quickly? Was it infection? Pain? Something else entirely? And what if Jack couldn't handle it here...what then? He settled nervously on the arm of the couch, right next to her, his leg pressed lightly against her left arm.
Jack perched on the edge of the coffee table, directly in front of Kate. Then he noticed Sawyer. Glancing up at him, he said, "Sawyer, do you mind?"
"Do I mind what?"
"Just because this is taking place in your house doesn't mean it isn't still a private examination, just like a regular doctor's visit." He looked back down, asking gallantly, "Do you want him in here, Kate?"
Sawyer fought the urge to just take a swing at Jack right that second. "Yeah, Kate," he repeated sarcastically. "Do you want me in here?"
She met his eyes, annoyed, but also noticing how miserable he looked. She suddenly felt defensive.
"It's okay," Kate said to Jack, quietly. "We..." She stopped, unsure how to say this. Sawyer waited expectantly. "We're, um..." She gestured from Sawyer to herself, her cheeks reddening slightly in spite of her pallor.
"Ah," Jack broke in, the truth dawning on him in a sudden flash of understanding. "I see. My mistake." He looked both disappointed and bitter, but he was able to cover these emotions within seconds.
The three of them sat there, a strained silence engulfing them.
Despite looking forward to this moment and imagining the ways in which it might play out, Sawyer had to admit to himself that this wasn't exactly what he'd expected. He didn't feel triumphant so much as vaguely relieved. He wished Jack hadn't interrupted her, though. He was curious to know what she'd been about to say.
Kate looked guilty. She seemed to be fighting the urge to say the words I'm sorry. If she did, Sawyer vowed he would never forgive her. But what she decided on was thankfully neutral.
"I didn't know if you knew or not," she almost whispered.
"No," Jack said, wiping his hand over his mouth quickly in an attempt to seem casual. "Suspected, maybe, but.. that's all."
Another awkward pause followed. Even Sawyer was uncomfortable. Damn it, this was supposed to be fun! He'd won, hadn't he? He'd gotten the girl! Maybe it would be easier if they weren't all so unbearably close to each other, in a fittingly ironic triangle formation between couch, coffee table, and arm rest.
"So... anyway," Kate finally muttered. "I'd like him to stay. At least while I'm conscious, anyway."
"All right. It's your choice," Jack said, in his best professional manner, trying to move to familiar ground. "Now, why don't we take a look?" He started to unwrap the cloth from her arm, but she pulled it back.
"Wait. Before you start this, Jack, I just want to make sure..." She bit her lip, looking hesitant and worried. "The last time you were here, you said that the FBI had been in contact with you. That...they were trying to get you to work with them, in order to find me." She looked at him closely. "Are you still...?" She trailed off.
"No," he replied decisively. "I haven't been approached by anybody in weeks. In fact, the last I heard, they were focusing the investigation on people you might have known before the island...not on any of us."
She looked relieved, but not entirely convinced.
"In fact," Jack went on, "they asked me specifically about everyone you were close with while we were stranded there. I told them that you and Sawyer hated each other... that you never got along, he bothered you all the time.. and that he'd be the last person in the world you'd ever ask for help." He looked amused. "I thought that might throw 'em off, buy you some time, at least."
"Oh," Kate said, not exactly sure how to respond. "Okay."
Sawyer didn't know whether to be grateful or pissed off. He decided not to say anything.
"But just because they haven't made contact doesn't mean they aren't still keeping tabs on you, though, right?" Kate pressed. "Don't you think they might get a little suspicious if they notice you made another trip to Tennessee?"
"I considered that. That's why I didn't fly into Knoxville. There's a medical conference going on in Nashville this week, so I registered... signed up for a few of the seminars, just to cover my tracks. Of course, I don't plan on attending, but I doubt they'll check that closely. If they are still watching me, that is. But I really don't think they are." He tried to look reassuring.
"That was a smart idea," Kate said, with a hint of a smile.
Sawyer rolled his eyes. Anybody could have thought of that.
"But we'll have time to talk about everything later," Jack said. "Right now, I think we should probably just focus on that arm."
Kate nodded, holding her wrist back out to him grimly. "Go for it."
He carefully unwrapped the bandage. Sawyer and Kate watched his face. They already knew how bad it looked, but they wanted to see what his reaction would be.
There was just the faintest flicker of concern in his expression. But like any doctor, he maintained a calm, unreadable demeanor, examining the arm closely, turning it first one way and then the other to catch the light.
"What happened here?" he asked in an even tone, indicating the lacerated and churned up section that they'd already tried to remove the metal from.
"We... tried to do that one ourselves. Last night," Kate said in a small voice.
"With what, a butcher knife?" Jack asked with a wry look.
When there was no answer, he looked up.
"Yeah," Kate said, embarrassed.
"It was her idea," Sawyer muttered. She shot him a comically betrayed look.
Jack looked from one to the other and shook his head. "It's a good thing you called." He turned his attention back to the arm.
"So what do you think?" Sawyer finally asked, unable to stand the wait any longer. "Can you fix it, or not?"
Jack nodded. "I think so. You'll be fine, Kate," he added, turning to her. "It'll be sore for a few days, and I'll have to get you on some antibiotics, but it should be just fine."
She breathed out in relief. "That's good. So you just...take the metal out, and stitch up the openings?" She paused, looking troubled. "I don't have to watch it, do I?"
Jack smiled. "You know, I think you're a lot less squeamish than you give yourself credit for. After all, you delivered a baby, if you recall."
"Not by choice," Kate answered, but looking pleased all the same.
"And of course, you managed to sew me up with embroidery floss only a few minutes after the plane crashed. I guess this is my chance to return the favor, right?"
"I hadn't thought about it that way."
They shared a meaningful look. Sawyer felt like puking.
"But to answer your question," Jack continued. "No, you won't have to watch it. Obviously, I won't be able to put you completely under, since I don't have the equipment to hook up an IV or to monitor your breathing and heart rate. But I will give you something to relax you, and you'll probably fall asleep. I'll also numb the arm with a local anesthetic, so you shouldn't feel anything at all. Okay?"
"Okay," she nodded, trying to take all this in.
"Let me just go get my stuff. Be right back." Jack disappeared in the direction of the kitchen.
Kate looked up at Sawyer, meeting his eyes. She leaned against his side, and he smoothed her hair down. They didn't say anything.
A few seconds later, Jack returned with the black leather bag. Setting it down in the floor in front of the table, he rummaged through it, extracting a small case. Opening the case, he pulled out a needle and syringe, testing the amount of liquid in it.
"That's a really big needle, Jack," Kate said, trying to sound detached.
He smiled. "You don't like needles?"
"Does anybody?" she responded dryly.
"No," he admitted. "But..." He laid the needle down on the coffee table and took out another one. "Some people have more of a problem with them than others."
"Then I guess I'm one of those people."
"I have a hard time believing that," Jack said, laying this needle beside the other one. He withdrew one more.
"That's three," Kate said, sounding worried.
"I'm sorry?"
"You said a local anesthetic, and something to relax me. So...what's with the three needles?"
"Well," Jack said. "Sawyer mentioned that you hadn't had a tetanus shot since you were twelve. Is that true?"
"Oh," Kate answered casually. "Actually, I got to thinking about it this morning, and I remembered that I did get one, when I was eighteen. I just forgot about it."
"You sure?" Jack asked.
"Yeah." She nodded.
"All right, then." He started to put the third needle back in the case.
Sawyer was watching her too closely, though.
"She's lying," he announced.
Kate turned toward him, sharply. "Sawyer!"
"What? You really wanna take a chance with this? You want to get lockjaw, or whatever the hell it's called? I know you ain't that stupid. "
She turned to Jack, annoyed. "Is that even real? Lockjaw?"
"Well, the medical term is tetanus, but yeah, the condition is real. It causes your muscles to become rigid and lock up, and it usually starts with the neck and jaw. It's a myth that it's caused by rusted metal, though... It's actually caused by the tetanus bacteria that get into the wound itself. Of course, sometimes they can be on the metal to begin with. But if it gets bad enough, it can cause seizures or heart failure."
Kate looked miserable.
"See?" Sawyer asked, feeling vindicated.
"So," Jack said, looking at her with concern, "If it really has been over ten years, then I'd feel a lot better if you'd let me give you the injection, Kate."
"Fine," she said shortly. "Where at?"
Jack seemed confused. "In here is fine."
She smiled. "No, I meant, where... on me?"
"Oh," Jack said, feeling like an idiot. Sawyer couldn't hold back a small snort of derision.
"Well, we have two choices. We can use your arm, since it's already sore anyway," he said as he touched the bicep of her right arm. "Or, the other option is your upper thigh, on whichever side you want." His fingers now lightly tapped the extreme upper portion of her leg, on the side where it met the couch.
Sawyer watched with his teeth gritted. "The arm," he said quickly, loudly.
Kate looked up at him, embarrassed but also understanding. She smiled a little, and looked back at Jack. "I guess we'll go with the arm."
"All right," Jack nodded. "After I get the metal out, I'll put it in a sling, so it shouldn't give you too much trouble."
He rolled up the sleeve of her three-quarter length shirt and swabbed an area with alcohol, then picked up the first needle.
Taking a deep breath and hoping Jack wouldn't notice, Kate reached up surreptitiously and grasped Sawyer's hand. The simple gesture flooded him with a feeling that he couldn't even define. He squeezed her fingers.
Looking down at the part in her hair, he asked in a falsely casual tone of voice, "You know you got freckles all over the top of your head?"
"I do not," she said with a tense smile, turning toward him.
Out of the corner of his eye, Sawyer, cringing, saw the first needle go in, like a dart in a dartboard. Kate gripped his hand tighter.
"And how the hell would you know?" he went on. "You ever seen the top of your head?"
"No," she admitted. The second needle was inserted, and he covered her hand with his other one and rubbed circles over the top of it.
"Well all right then," he said, as if he'd won his case. "I guess you'll just have to take my word for it, won't ya? Looks like a goddamn connect-the-dots board."
"Liar," she grinned. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes as the third and last needle was punched in.
"Maybe someday I'll have to get me a magic marker and see what I can do with those," Sawyer said contemplatively.
"Just try it," she said warningly.
Jack withdrew the third needle. "Okay, all done."
Sawyer breathed out in relief, and he felt Kate's hand go limp in his. At first, he thought she was just relaxing since the shots were over, but then she slumped over against him.
"Wow..." She said in a shaky voice. "Jack?"
"It's all right," he said reassuringly. "It might take effect pretty fast, especially if you haven't eaten anything today. If you feel lightheaded or dizzy, you can just go ahead and lie down, close your eyes."
But her eyes were already closing. She struggled to open them, raising her left arm but then letting it drop futilely.
"I really hate this feeling," she said in a slurred voice, sounding as if she'd been betrayed.
"I'm sorry, Kate," Jack said softly. "I thought you didn't want to be awake for this."
Sawyer got off the arm rest and lifted her gently, repositioning her in a reclined position on the couch. Jack handed over a pillow from the other end to place under her head. "I'm not even tired," Kate mumbled bitterly, unable to keep her eyes open.
"Just give it a few minutes," Jack said, trying not to smile.
They waited a while. Just when they were convinced she was asleep, she said out of nowhere, "Don't forget the list this time, Sawyer."
"What list?" he asked, startled.
"The shopping list." She sounded irritated, although she still hadn't opened her eyes once.
Sawyer looked at Jack, alarmed.
"It's okay," he said in a low voice. "I should have mentioned that it might make her a little disoriented before she drops off. Just...humor her. She'll fall asleep in a second."
He turned back to her, shaking his head. "I won't forget the list."
"You always forget it," she muttered accusingly.
"I got it right here in my pocket, all right? I won't forget it!" He was getting annoyed, which was completely ridiculous, since the list they were arguing about didn't even exist.
"You should get more condoms, too. You never get enough."
He glanced quickly over at Jack, in shock. Jack cleared his throat and continued making preparations, pretending he hadn't heard. Although Sawyer felt somewhat embarrassed on Kate's behalf, knowing how much she would have hated Jack hearing that, he couldn't help enjoying the situation, just a little.
"I'll buy out the whole damn store," he said with a mischievous grin.
She sighed. "Turn the lamp off."
He looked around. There were no lamps on. "All right. It's off," he said good-naturedly.
But she didn't respond. Jack leaned over and felt her pulse and then peered closely into her face. "Okay. She's out."
Sawyer stood up, hesitantly. "You need anything else?"
"Yeah, I'll take that beer now, if the offer's still good."
He stared at him blankly.
Jack looked up with amusement. "That was a joke, Sawyer."
He rolled his eyes. "You're one hell of a comedian, Doc."
He started out, then turned at the doorway with a cocky smile. "If she wakes up, don't tell her what she said." He knew Jack would understand what he was referring to.
Jack nodded, looking mildly disgusted. "Don't worry. I'm just hoping that I can forget it, too."
Sawyer went into the kitchen to wait, knowing that there was no way in hell Jack would be able to forget that particular comment, and feeling unabashedly happy about the fact.
He waited for what felt like hours, eventually going outside to pace around the house a few times, but then coming quietly back into the kitchen. He was exhausted after getting no sleep last night, but he found it impossible to rest now. The house was completely silent - not a single sound came from the living room.
At least twenty times, he considered going in to see how things were progressing, but then talked himself out of it. What if he surprised Jack and the knife slipped? What if he got her damn artery? It could happen. He remembered the sickening gush of blood from his own artery when Sayid had stabbed him, and the thought of it happening to Kate made him ill. He sat down again to wait, sighing impatiently.
Finally, just when he was convinced that something must have gone terribly wrong, Jack appeared in the doorway, looking tired but with an air of muted accomplishment.
"Well?" Sawyer asked when he didn't say anything.
"Everything's fine. I got all the pieces out, and there probably won't be any scars... except for maybe the part you did."
Sawyer narrowed his eyes with scorn and looked away. "How long till she wakes up?"
"Probably not long...it wasn't a strong enough dose."
"Well then," Sawyer said with an air of finality. "Guess you'll be hittin' the road, huh?"
Jack looked like he thought this was funny. "Not quite yet," he said. His tone, however, said Nice try. "I'll have to check everything once she wakes up, make sure her pulse is stable, check all her vitals... I also need to ask if she's allergic to any antibiotics, so I can write out the prescription."
Sawyer exhaled wearily.
"I thought I'd go outside, take a walk," Jack went on. "Is there any way down to the lake from here?"
"Yeah. Path out behind the shed," he answered grudgingly.
Jack nodded. "Why don't you go in and sit with her, keep an eye on her breathing. If anything changes, just come outside and yell."
"Sounds reliable. That what they teach you in med school?
Jack sighed, not answering. Sawyer unlocked the door for him and let him out.
When he finally came back in, he headed toward the living room, anxious to see whether she was awake or not. He was angry at himself for his eagerness, especially since he'd just spent the last half hour trying to detach himself from her, willing himself not to think about the new information he'd recently learned.
Of course, it wasn't as if he hadn't considered the possibility. They'd been living together for almost two months, after all. And even back on the island, there'd been no denying that she was drawn to Sawyer. But deep down, he'd still held out hope that...what? He didn't know what. Every time he got too close to thinking about it, he forced himself to back away.
But that was much easier when he wasn't directly confronted with it, as he was now when he approached the doorway into the living room. He stopped, knowing he should go back down the hall or at least make some noise to alert them. But he didn't yet.
She was awake, sitting up, propped against the arm rest on her left side. Sawyer was helping her to drink from a glass of water, holding the bottom of it while she weakly gripped it with her left hand. Their lack of coordination caused water to dribble down her chin, and she laughed. He sat the glass down while she wiped her mouth on her shirt without reserve. Sawyer whispered something to her that Jack couldn't make out, and Kate stared at him intently, with an uninhibited passion that was difficult to watch. There was no mistaking that look; it was the look of someone in love.
It was the expression on Sawyer's face, however, that really surprised him. If this wasn't so painful, he might have laughed. All the old ferocity and aggressiveness were still present in his countenance, but they seemed to be channeled toward a new object. He wore his protectiveness like a badly-fitted suit of new clothes, as if he hadn't quite adjusted to it yet. They both seemed vaguely frightened, unsure of the rules of the game, still hoping to make up the guidelines as they went along. It made Jack nervous just to look at them.
As they leaned toward each other to kiss, he forced himself to turn away. He could only handle so much.
He came back a few minutes later, making more noise this time. Kate looked up and smiled as he entered. Sawyer didn't look as irritated as he had earlier.
"How do you feel?" Jack asked.
"Like my head is stuffed with cotton," she said, grimacing. "But other than that, fine. I can't feel my arm at all."
"Well," he said, sitting down beside her. "That won't last, unfortunately. But I'll write you a prescription for some mild painkillers along with the antibiotics, just in case it flares up too badly."
"Thank you, Jack."
She was apparently saying thank you for the painkillers, but the repetition of the words she'd said to him just before she'd left him on the island caused a twisting sensation in his gut. He swallowed, wondering if she remembered that scene. Apparently not.
"You're welcome." He dropped his eyes, sadly. "Then, after that, I'll have Sawyer drive me over to the closest hotel. If he doesn't mind."
"Don't have no problem with that," Sawyer said, happily. Jack could tell he'd be relieved when he was gone.
"What?" Kate said. "You're not staying in a hotel. You can stay here. There's plenty of room." She looked at Sawyer, and he glared back at her, to no effect. "Besides," she turned back to Jack. "You said we'd have a chance to talk later. Remember?"
"Kate," he said gently. "I just don't think it's the best idea, under the circumstances..." he trailed off.
"What circumstances? I thought you said you didn't think they were monitoring you?"
Those weren't even remotely the circumstances he'd had in mind, but it was a less embarrassing alternative, so he played along.
"I don't, but still...you never know."
"Jack." She stopped, looking hurt. "Who knows when we'll get another chance to see each other?"
He started to relent. It was too hard to see that look in her eyes. With a slight smile, he said, "I don't think Sawyer shares that concern."
"No, he wants you to stay, too." Kate looked at Sawyer fiercely. "Right? They stared at each other in wordless debate, until Sawyer finally sighed heavily, looking away in defeat.
"Make yourself at home, Doc," he said sarcastically.
Kate smiled, victorious. "It'll be just like old times."
Jack and Sawyer both inwardly cringed. After all, wasn't that exactly what they were afraid of?
