I'll be the first to warn you guys that this chapter isn't much to speak of...I just wanted to have a little fun with the three of them. The next chapter after this one, Thirty-One, is where most of the angst and emotion will come out... where Kate will actually deal with things. (And don't worry, Jack isn't staying long - he's got a plane to catch tomorrow.)

I know I'm missing questions that I wanted to respond to, but I have to run... If I don't leave now, I'll miss my ride! I'll try to get to them next time... Thanks so much for reviewing!


Chapter Thirty

Kate opened her eyes and was confused at first to see the ceiling of the living room... again. Hadn't this already happened once today? She turned her head slowly and looked around. Jack sat in an upholstered chair a few feet away, watching her.

"Hey," she said. "How did I fall asleep again?"

"It happened pretty fast," he replied, smiling a little. "You were talking about the dog, and then you said you felt tired, and within seconds, you were out."

"I'm sorry," she said, seeming embarrassed.

"Don't be," he said. "It takes a while for the effects of the drugs to wear off completely, and I'm sure you didn't get much sleep last night, anyway."

"No," she agreed. "More than Sawyer, though." She looked around again. "Where is he?"

"He went to get the prescription filled. I'd like you to get started on those antibiotics right away, just to be on the safe side. Your arm was pretty infected," he added, looking serious.

"I know," she said quietly.

There was a slight lull in the conversation.

Then Kate began again. "Who did you...?" She awkwardly tried to pull herself into a sitting position, using only her left arm since her right was bound tightly against her in a sling.

Getting up, Jack moved quickly over to help her.

"Thanks," she said, their eyes meeting. "Who did you write the prescription for? I mean, what name did you use?"

Jack sat down nearer to her. "Sawyer suggested we use the name Margaret Ford." When Kate seemed confused, he went on. "He said it was his aunt..."

"Oh," she interrupted, understanding now. "Aunt Meg. Okay."

"You know her?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Yeah," she said, wishing that she hadn't said that. "She was here about a week ago, visiting." She hadn't meant to make herself and Sawyer sound so domestic, but there wasn't really any other way to spin the visit of an aunt.

"She didn't stay long," Kate added, as if that somehow made it different.

Jack nodded, and she thought she detected sadness in his expression.

As she listened to the cool autumn rain beating against the windows, she felt a slight draft, and although she tried to prevent it, she shivered a little. Jack noticed, of course.

"You cold?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"It does seem a little chilly in here," he said, ignoring her. "Where's the thermostat?"

"It's in the hall, but... it's broken. I mean, the heater doesn't work...right now," she went on. "We've just been using the fireplace."

"Oh."

She could see that he looked concerned, and it bothered her for some reason. It felt like a judgment. Not just of her, but of Sawyer as well. It made her feel defensive, like she needed to justify things.

"It hasn't been that cold yet," she said. "He's going to get it fixed, soon. Things have been kind of crazy lately."

"I can imagine," Jack said, in what he obviously meant to be an understanding tone.

There was another pause, and they looked at each other. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but how could any of it be said? Where to begin? And would it be safer for both of them if they didn't even try it?

Jack seemed to be experiencing similar doubts. Hesitantly, he began to speak.

"Kate. There's something I was meaning to tell you..."

Just then, they both heard the sound of the kitchen door being opened and then shut, loudly.

Jack looked away, defeated, with a small, ironic smile.

"We'll talk later," Kate reassured him quickly, just before Sawyer came into the room, still dripping rainwater.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said, looking from one to the other with a roguish grin. "Hope you two been behavin' yourselves."

Kate closed her eyes for a second in embarrassment and wished he was close enough to elbow, hard. But, in fact, he seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Well, a good mood for Sawyer, anyway, which was a different breed of good mood than that of the average person's. He was probably feeling a burden lifted off his shoulders, since she was apparently on the mend.

"They give you any trouble at the pharmacy?" Jack asked, ignoring his comment.

"Nope," he said. "Just some damn kid... Girl was probably more concerned about her nipple ring than she was about illegal prescriptions."

Kate looked over at him sharply.

"What?" he asked in a defensive tone. "I could see it through her shirt!"

He came around behind the couch and dropped the bag onto her lap. "And how's Miss Narcolepsy?" Bending over, he gave her a peck on the cheek. "You keep passin' out like that, you're gonna have to start wearin' a helmet."

"It won't happen again," she said with smile. "Will it?" she asked Jack.

"Probably not. But I'd hold off on those painkillers for a few hours, just in case. The antibiotics you can go ahead and start now."

Kate looked up at Sawyer with raised eyebrows. "Would you get me a glass of water?"

He sighed, trying to sound annoyed. "Sure thing, princess. Just call me errand-boy." Starting toward the kitchen, he held up his hand. "No, don't get up," he said to Jack, who had shown no signs of getting up. "Allow me."

When he'd gone, Kate, with a slight grimace, attempted to explain. "He gets like this sometimes."

"I remember," Jack said, looking vaguely amused.

Using her left hand to rip open the top of the pharmacy bag, which had been stapled shut, Kate pulled out the first bottle, glancing at the label. Hydrocodone. The pain pills. She reached in again and grabbed the other bottle. This one was the penicillin. She started to wad the bag up, but its weight stopped her. There was still something inside. Opening it up again, she pulled out a round, flat plastic case. It looked like a powder compact, only it was a little too big. Her face registered confusion. Sawyer wouldn't buy her makeup. She flipped it over to see the label and her cheeks reddened at the instant of realizing what it was. Birth-control pills. She glanced up quickly at Jack, who was watching her with an awkward, hesitant expression.

"I know it's not my place, Kate... But I didn't know if you would have another chance..." he trailed off. "If you think it's out of line, then I apologize. I was only trying to help." He looked miserably uncomfortable.

"Jack," she whispered with a strained laugh. "I... I don't even know what to say." She looked up at him, imploringly, feeling the heat radiate from her face.

"You don't have to say anything. If you do decide to use them, then just make sure you wait until after your next..."

"I know," she interrupted quickly. She smiled, looking back down again. "I know," she repeated in a quieter voice.

Incongruously, she felt tears spring to her eyes, and she tried to hold them back. The fact that he could do a thing like this, for her, despite what he felt about Sawyer... It was almost too much. How do you say thank you for something like this? she wondered. Especially when you know you don't deserve it?

She hurriedly replaced the case as she heard Sawyer's footsteps coming back down the hall. She assumed that he didn't know about it, since the bag had still been stapled. To tell him now would only piss him off and spoil his good mood. She knew that, instead of seeing it as a favor for her, he would be more likely to view it as Jack's attempt to keep him, Sawyer, from procreating. With an inward smile at the thought of his outraged reaction, she decided to wait until Jack was gone to let him know.

As Sawyer came into the room, she locked gazes with Jack one more time and tried to convey her appreciation without words. She thought he understood.

Sawyer handed her the water, and she set it on the coffee table. She felt his eyes on her as she picked up the antibiotics with her left hand and tried to open them. Sighing in frustration, she handed the pill bottle up to him.

"All right, but I hope you know, I'm gonna add this to your bill," he said, grinning. He popped open the vial and shook out a pill, placing it gently in the palm of her hand.

"Just put it on my account," she said, smiling back at him.

Kate hated being sick or injured. But she had to admit, it was almost worth it to see the sense of fulfilled relevance it gave Sawyer. She knew that his irritation was nothing but an act. He loved taking care of her. In fact, he was never more happy than when he was needed, probably because it was such a new and unprecedented pleasure for him. It was something she tried never to forget.

She tossed the pill back into her throat and swallowed some of the water. As she set the glass back down, Jack spoke.

"Sawyer, where do you keep the wood at?"

Sawyer looked at him like he was crazy. "Why, you wanna build somethin', doc? Gonna whip us up a little ark while you're here?"

"He means for the fireplace," Kate said, rolling her eyes. "And it's on the porch, Jack. But you don't need to do that."

"Are you gonna do it then?" Sawyer asked her with a wink.

"No, you are," she said with emphasis.

"Think so, huh?"

"It's fine, Kate," Jack interrupted, standing up. "I don't mind at all. You're letting me stay here, so it's the least I can do."

"You hear that, Freckles? He says he don't mind."

Kate sighed heavily as Jack left the room. Sawyer kneeled down in front of her, still with a gleam in his eyes but looking a little sheepish.

"I thought you said you would try not to be rude."

"Believe the key word there is try, sweetheart."

"Has it even occurred to you that you're not in competition with him anymore? You don't have any reason to be such an ass. You know, if you gave him a chance, you two might even like each other."

Sawyer ducked his head, saying in a laughing voice, "I wouldn't go quite that far."

Kate shook her head slowly, giving up. Considering how luckless and ill-fated her past had been, it seemed almost fitting that the two most important men in her life wouldn't be able to stand each other. Otherwise, it would have been just too easy.

Standing up, she held out her hand to Sawyer. "Come with me."

"Uh-oh," he said with exaggerated dread. "Looks like I'm in trouble now."

She smiled, unable to help herself. "Not exactly. I just need your help."

He pulled himself off the floor, looking intrigued. "With what?"

She was embarrassed. Not meeting his eyes, she said with reluctance, "I have to pee. And I don't think I can get these jeans unbuttoned with my left hand."

"Well now," he said with a grin, putting his arm around her and leading her from the room. "It just so happens that I'm an expert in that field."


Although he never would have admitted it, Kate could tell that Sawyer was at least making more of an effort to be a polite host as the evening progressed. They ordered pizzas for dinner, and she listened, trying to restrain a smile, as the two of them had an awkward argument about who should pay. (Sawyer finally won out, but Jack insisted on covering the delivery tip.)

Then, before the food arrived, he even attempted to get the dog to accept Jack's presence. It didn't go over very well; Gus seemed to have formed an immediate aversion to Jack upon first contact that wasn't going to be remedied by any later efforts. But he at least relinquished his hostility, resigning himself to the presence of the doctor with an air of subdued, wary tolerance.

When dinner was finally delivered they sat at the kitchen table, the boxes opened in front of them, and Kate pretended to have more of an appetite than she really did so that neither of them would worry about her.

Jack watched with amusement as Sawyer picked every single pepper, onion, mushroom, and olive off his slice, then piled on extra meat.

"You have something against vegetables, Sawyer?"

Kate sighed. "He tries to avoid them whenever possible."

"Not all of 'em," he said defensively. "Finally came around on that artichoke crap, didn't I?"

Surprised, she smiled at him, almost proudly. "You actually got it right that time... I can't believe it."

They shared a sly look filled with unreadable references and hidden meanings. Jack seemed confused.

Kate turned to him, trying to explain. "He usually calls it asparagus, and I always have to tell him that it's artichoke..." she trailed off, lamely, noticing that Jack still didn't seem to get it. "I guess you had to be there."

"Apparently," he said, nodding.

"So, Jack," Sawyer asked after the pause had continued too long. "You get your old job back?"

"Yeah, same hospital," he replied. "I even got a promotion, in fact. Evidently it helps if they think you've died." He smiled wryly.

"I'm sure being famous doesn't hurt, either," Kate said, taking a tiny bite and chewing slowly.

"I wouldn't exactly call it 'fame,'" he said, uncomfortably.

"You wouldn't?" Sawyer asked with sarcasm. "Barbara Walters sure don't seem to think so. Saw you on TV flirtin' with her a couple months back."

Kate rolled her eyes, but Jack was prepared this time.

"Actually, all she wanted to talk about was you, Sawyer. She was wondering whether you were single or not."

Kate and Sawyer both stopped chewing and looked at him with incredulous expressions.

Jack lowered his head and grinned, triumphant. "Kidding."

Kate laughed, and even Sawyer looked amused, but he tried to cover it with a long swig of beer.

"You got a girlfriend?" he asked a few seconds later in counterattack.

Kate was horrified. "Sawyer," she said quietly, with her teeth gritted.

"What? I'm just makin' small talk."

"Uh, sort of," Jack answered awkwardly. Kate glanced up at him and then just as quickly lowered her eyes. "I've been seeing somebody, but it's not.. it's not serious." He took a drink.

"She a nurse?" Sawyer asked, with a slight hint of derision in his tone.

"No. She's uh... she's a pediatrician. Do you want that last slice?"

Sawyer pushed the box toward him, still not willing to change the subject.

"Pediatrician and a surgeon," he said in a mock-thoughtful voice. "Just like a fairy tale, ain't it, Freckles?"

Kate narrowed her eyes at him in warning, but then stopped when she saw Jack looking at her curiously. Was he wondering how she was taking the news? She really didn't know what to think about it. She should be relieved, right? Wouldn't that be the most rational reaction, given the circumstances? Now she found herself beginning to dread the conversation she'd promised him they'd have later, instead of looking forward to it as she had been.

"How's your mom?" she asked, in order to think about something else.

"She's...been better," Jack said slowly. "The day that started off with her learning that my father had died ended with her hearing about the plane crash, so... she basically lost both of us at the same time. It's been a little hard for her to adjust to having me back - to the shock of it all. But, she's improving, I think."

"I'm sorry," Kate almost whispered. "That must have been so terrible for her." Sawyer looked down at his plate, silent. None of them spoke for a few seconds.

Kate thought for the first time that maybe she and Sawyer had actually been lucky, in a way, that they hadn't had anybody who cared enough about them to grieve.

As she tried desperately to think of a subject that wouldn't be embarrassing or painful for any of them, the decision was made for her, terrifyingly, by a knock at the front door.

Jack didn't seem immediately worried, but Kate and Sawyer looked at each other in paralyzed dread.

"Well, at least we know it ain't Jack this time," Sawyer said, standing up simultaneously with Kate.

"Do you think he should hide, too?" she asked breathlessly, automatically heading for the pantry.

There was really no time to consider. "Yeah," Sawyer said. "Just the fact that he's here might be suspicious enough to tip 'em off."

"Jack!" She gestured for him to follow her, which he did, quickly.

"What's the plan?" he asked, sounding a little left out.

Sawyer pulled back the cellar door and then stood up, reaching for something on a high shelf above the washing machine. It was a gun. He held it out towards Jack, looking him in the eye, thinking with irony how their positions were reversed from the last time they'd seen each other on the island.

Jack hesitated. Kate watched him, fascinated and tortured. Even though they were in a frantic hurry, this moment seemed drawn out and almost frozen. His decision had the power to alter his life forever. Either he would defend her, with all the risks that entailed... or he wouldn't.

"You want it or not?" Sawyer asked impatiently. The knocking came again.

Jack took the gun. Kate exhaled a shaky breath.

"You go first... I'll hand her down to you." With her right arm in a sling, it would take too long for Kate to try to maneuver down the ladder.

Jack was at the bottom in seconds, and in a flash, Sawyer had grasped her around the waist and lowered her down to his outstretched hands. She looked up at Sawyer, swallowing back tears. They hadn't even had a chance to say anything.

He closed the door over their heads and she and Jack were immediately plunged into blackness. She heard Sawyer hook the latch and replace the rug, then head off toward the front door.

She settled tentatively back against the ladder, half sitting and half standing, needing it for support. Jack kept his hands on her shoulders, guiding her. There was not even the faintest sliver of light. It was the most suffocating, unmitigated darkness imaginable. She'd experienced it only once before - when Jack had been there the last time, in fact. Then, she'd been distracted by the conversation in the kitchen, and had kept her eyes closed and listened. Now, she fought against a rising tide of panic.

"I'm so sorry, Jack," she said, her voice wavering badly.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. If there's somebody out there, then it's my fault. I should have been more careful." He sounded bitter.

"No," she said, shaking her head vehemently, although she knew he couldn't see it. "This is all because of me. ALL of it," she said loudly.

"Shh.. Kate, try to take deep breaths, okay?"

"Listen to me, Jack..."

"Just take a deep breath, and then let it out..."

"Listen to me!"

He stopped and sighed, waiting.

"If they find this place... this cellar... then I want you to give me the gun. We're gonna pretend that I took you hostage, all right? That I made you come down here..."

"Forget it," he said immediately.

"No!" she said forcefully. "Please, Jack... please. There isn't any choice. I won't let you put yourself in danger for me... I've made that mistake before, and..." She started to sob, remembering Tom. "I won't let this happen again. I won't let you die again."

"You're not making any sense, Kate," he said gently, concerned. He raised his hands to the sides of her face.

"Promise me," she pleaded.

"All right," he agreed, willing to say anything to get her to calm down. "I'll give you the gun. I promise. But hopefully, it won't come to that. Now, we need to try to stay quiet, all right?"

She leaned against his shoulder, trying to stifle her emotion. There was still so much she wanted to say to him, but would they even get the chance now? They both waited, tensed and desperate, for what felt like hours.

"Can you hear anything?" Kate whispered.

"No," he answered truthfully. The silence was overwhelming, so thick that it seemed almost loud.

Finally, when she thought she would snap and begin screaming uncontrollably if she had to endure this waiting any longer, there was a sound of footsteps above. The floorboards creaked ominously.

Kate raised her head, already on the verge of reaching for the gun.

The latch was unhooked and the opening pulled back. They both looked up, blinking painfully at the sudden influx of light.

"Come on up," Sawyer said wearily. "Coast is clear."

Feeling so relieved that she was on the verge of collapse, Kate passively allowed them to reverse the earlier procedure, Jack handing her up to Sawyer this time. She clung to Sawyer, tightly, still worried about what he'd encountered. She looked at him, a question in her eyes, not trusting herself to speak. He kissed her softly and then led her into the kitchen. She heard Jack ascend the ladder and follow them.

The three of them stopped abruptly. Sawyer gestured toward the kitchen table, where two small, orange cardboard boxes rested. Jack and Kate looked at them, then back at Sawyer, confused.

"Girl Scout cookies," he said, in a sardonic, exhausted tone.

They continued to stare at him, then back at the boxes, then at him again. Kate couldn't seem to make the absurd words mean anything. Surely all the drama they'd just been through wasn't for that, was it?

Jack was adjusting faster. He nodded, almost contemplatively. "I see you went with the peanut butter patties."

"You gotta problem with that?" Sawyer asked.

"To tell you the truth, I prefer the thin mints, myself."

"You would," Sawyer said with scorn.

Jack finally exhaled in silent, relieved laughter. Sawyer had a gleam in his eyes, despite his remaining stress.

Kate moved over toward the table, feeling that her knees would buckle under her if she continued to stand. She sank down and leaned her head onto her arms, unsure whether to laugh or cry. Could this night possibly be any more surreal? She felt a hand patting her between the shoulder blades, soothingly and reassuringly.

The terrible thing was that she wasn't even sure whose hand it was.