A/N: Once again, long time no update. I'm very sorry, things have been kinda… hectic in the 'real world' of moi… (innocently kicks Horo cosplay under chair) Seriously though, between work and personal issues, I haven't even had time to check my email… However, seeing as I'm currently the walking pneumonia, I finally decided to take a whole day off to finish this extra long chapter (just cause I lurv you guys ). But enough excuses, fic-ward ho!

This Disclaimer is Disgustingly Ill: Shaman King belongs to a bunch of people and corporations bigger and more important than I.

A Question of Honour

He trembled, a soft whimper barely escaping his pale, quivering lips as he tried to force himself to sit straight- a broken doll clutching tightly to the delicate remains of pride. The single candle fluttered like his erratic heart as he stared intently at the door, the indignant mutters of his fathers three closest advisors filtering distantly through his consciousness. He found himself idly noting that not one of those blasphemous fools seemed to realize they wouldn't leave this room alive. Even the irritating clucking slowly died away at the heavy slow, deliberate footsteps, the vibrations shaking him to his very core- Papa was coming.

Papa was angry.

The candle flickered as an uneasy hush settled thick in the stagnant, uncomfortably warm air. Perhaps… perhaps the pompous men did indeed know their fate… He felt his eyes narrow, a brave façade as his hands clenched in his lap- he would have ran if there was a place he could hide. But there was nowhere… no corner those burning, soulless orbs couldn't pierce, no crevice those swollen, burly hands couldn't tear away.

No, he knew exactly what was in store.

And the knowing made it worse

-0-

HoroHoro whistled absently to himself, dew-coated bushes and brambles crunching beneath his feet as he carelessly strode out of the thick forest back to the little camp he shared with the (somewhat disgruntled) Chinese boy, his attention focused on re-tying his belt after, er, 'relieving' himself. He froze suddenly, chirping whistle instantly dying on his lips as he felt the cold kiss of steel push forcefully against his exposed neck.

" Ehhhh… Morning Ren…?" He quipped uncertainly as he gazed into smouldering, narrowed gold eyes, the Chinese boys face set into his usual perma-frown. Ren quirked an eyebrow- so the blue haired annoyance had heard him the previous night.

"Don't act so familiar, peasant."

"Well it's nice to see your cheery face too."

"Why did you leave the fire?" the Chinese assassin narrowed his eyes, choosing to jump straight to the point before the other boy could bait him into another pointless argument.

"I had to take a leak." The blue haired boy sniffed, his nose huffing into the air as he grabbed the Chinese boys hand, forcing him to lower the dagger away from his throat. "Tch, it's not like you were even sleeping," he purposefully ignored those widened eyes as the smaller boy glared at him in silent shock and indignant anger. "I mean, geez, if you were going to stay up all night anyway you could have at least let me sleep…" Suddenly he turned back to the Chinese boy, a goofy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, those obsidian eyes laughing as he tucked his hands behind his head in a relaxed manner. "Aw, if you're scared of nightmares, you could've just asked, and I would have held your hand-" he somehow managed to duck the several projectiles, his thick, barking laugh weaving strangely harmoniously with the smaller boys snarled curses. Ren sucked a few breathes through his clenched teeth, forcing himself into a quivering façade of calm, the rather sizable chunk of wood he had been prepared to beat the annoyances face in with sliding harmlessly from his fingers as he turned his back to the still giggling moron. 'Immature idiot.'

"Grab your crap. We're leaving." He drawled coolly, making certain each word was laced with a suitable amount of venom. HoroHoros laughter died instantly as he blinked slowly at the Chinese boys back.

"Leaving? Where?" The Tao smirked secretively over his shoulder at the other boys innocent question. Too naïve, too easily manipulated, this certainly was going to work in his favour.

" To my estate." HoroHoros eyes widened in silent awe as the Chinese boy answered his unspoken question. "A Tao repays his debts, remember? My father will reward you generously for your noble deed." He turned away again, the cruelty pulling at the corners of his lips in response to the blue haired boys eager smile. Oh yes, his father would be more than willing to reward the other boys foolish sacrifices. The Tao interrogators would make certain to show the annoyance their hospitality… He glanced over his shoulder at the bustling boy, buzzing this way and that to put out the fire and slip into his oversized rag of a coat, happily babbling away about nonsense. He could repay his debt, and fulfil his original mission all in one shot.

"Ready?" half-lidded gold glittered enigmatically, slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips giving the petite boy the look of a cat eyeing its prey as the blue haired boy simply nodded enthusiastically in response.

A life for a life…

"Thanks for this Ren, I really don't know what to-"

"A Tao repays his debts, no thanks are needed. The estate is about three days walk from here- the sooner we head off, the sooner we'll get there."

The blue haired boy beamed down at his companion, his face so open and easily read and blaringly naïve. The Chinese assassin pointedly ignored the other boys expression, his eyes glued on the path ahead of them.

I'll make you beg for death.

-0-

Soulless eyes, glazed and empty, the milky fogged stare gazing out forever at sweet nothingness. Gazing sightlessly at the writhing child, silent laughter and disgust swelling louder than the wild screams of the hysterical child clawing frantically, desperately at the cold, unfeeling marble. Tiny fingernails cracking and tearing away as his groped feverishly for some kind of handhold to pull himself away, something real to hold on to, within the flawless, unfeeling marble floor, the childs desperate screams rising in pitch, twisting and warping in his own ears- something hollow and inhuman and… hurt.

The frantic cry of an animal- the agonized squeal of pigs and he couldn't see… Couldn't see past the blur of hot tears streaming down his rounded cheeks. Couldn't see past the searing pain, the primal terror screaming within his mind, blind panic choking off his air as his entire being shook with the overwhelming instinct to run run run- Run away from that horrible candlelit room, from those sightless gazing eyes, from the hulking monster with the hate and rage smouldering within amber depths.

The child squirmed and writhed madly, his naked skin little protection against the thick, raw leather strap biting deeply into the tender calves of his bare legs- tattered skin and flesh hanging like the frayed ends of torn rice paper, framing the deep gashes and gouges in the pale, trembling flesh, the small childs wild shrieks falling upon a deaf audience as the red pooled on the flawless, cool marble. The monster held the struggling child with ease, felt the tiny bones creak and fracture under his power- so small, so weak… amber eyes simmered in hate and glory, face twisted beyond human with disgust and perverse pleasure.

So easy to kill…

"Honour before Peers,"

The unrelenting, merciless leather bit into red, torn, agonized flesh, rough ends slicing easily into soft muscle, cutting deeply into defenceless, tortured flesh- pale bone in the flickering candle light. Beautiful desecration of the holiest alter as the child screamed, his voice scratchy from the prolonged abuse.

"Honour before Kin,"

Then there was silence- tears burning his skin as he rasped weakly, desperately, drops of red spattering across the dark pattern carved into the childs back. Crimson dripped down the contours of his slender back, clinging to his trembling shoulder blades, a strange contrast to the black swirling symbol, a strangely suitable halo for the yin and yang- the true Tao legacy.

"Honour before Love,"

The monsters words were low, a dangerous growl that seemed to make the very earth tremble. The heresy humming unnaturally, seeping into the very core of his being as he trembled, his voice a harsh rasp, lost in his own ears, in his own consciousness, drowned beneath the unholy commandments that would form the very foundation of his life- the framework for all the ugly things he hated inside himself.

"Honour before Self."

His body tensed for a final blow that never came. The silence was deafening, crushing as that mammoth hand released its iron grip, the childs broken body slumping weakly, pathetically to the beautiful marble tiles. There he curled within himself, torn flesh of his knees drawing to his chest as he whimpered softly- begging for a mercy that would never come. The sweetest lullaby, the purest prayer- but there were no angels in that room. There were no gods, no salvation in that dimly lit, elegantly decorated prison. Tao En smiled as he turned away, hulking body leaning with surprising gentleness to the single flickering candle.

"Grow strong Ren," A light puff as he blew out the single candle, plunging the room into absolute darkness, but somehow it made the broken child all the more acutely aware of the silent audience. "Then you can kill whomever you please."

And the child swore he would tremble no more.

-0-

skreeeeeeetch

He felt his eye twitch as his teeth grated, fists clenching the soiled rag he was wrapped in.

reeeeeeeeeshk

He felt the all-to-familiar-over-these-last-few-days throbbing vein in his forehead as he ducked his head under the oversized coat in a vain attempt to muffle the irritating rasp.

skaaaaaaaacheeeeeeeeeesh

Why… Why Why WHY couldn't the blue-haired annoyance just shut up for ten bloody minutes?

rrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaasst-skritch-skritch-skreeeeecht

"KISAMA! What Are You Doing?" The Tao whipped around in the blanket, sitting abruptly as a hand instinctively swept down his belt. HoroHoro yelped as he dodged the dagger that easily imbedded itself in the damp earth he'd been sitting on seconds ago. The assassins shoulders heaved as he glared pure venom at the moron he'd somehow wound up indebted to. Said 'moron' took a moment to get over the shock of the unexpected attack before bolting upright as well to glare back, his own short sword clenched (a bit more tightly than necessary) in his fist.

"I Was Trying To Make a FIRE, You Paranoid Megalomaniac ASS! What the Hell are You Doing- Trying to KILL Me?"

"Don't tempt me."

"WHY YOU-"

"You might as well save your energy- that kindling is too wet to catch anyway." The Chinese assassin frowned down at his silk shirt- now mud stained silk shirt- with obvious distaste. After the rain over the last two days, Ren was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be totally dry again. On the other hand, they were only about a days walk away from his estate- something he both anticipated and dreaded at the same time. Sure, he was looking forward to a hot bath instead of a quick dunk in the lake, a real meal as opposed to the dried dog food the HoroHoro kept pulling from his beat-up pack, a comfortable bed instead of the dirty rag he'd been forced to share with the blue haired annoyance- the equally muddy HoroHoro simply stuck his tongue out at the Tao in response, to which Ren found himself rolling his eyes as he kicked away the coat he'd been wrapped in- and he definitely couldn't wait to see the abhorrent pigs face when he found out just what his 'reward' really was. However… golden cat eyes narrowed in silent hate at the thought: His father. How on earth was he supposed to explain what happened?

"Yeah, sorry dad, the Japanese ambassador kinda spontaneously combusted and killed everyone in the caravan except me and this guy. I'm sure he knows something though- have at him!"

Yeah, somehow he couldn't imagine his old man taking too well to that one. He sighed as he ran a hand through his damp bangs irritably, his breath fogging in the early morning chill. Oh well, he couldn't change what had already past- his father would have to accept it, whether he liked it or not. He crossed his arms, tucking his hands beneath his bare arms as he suppressed a shiver- the bite of the coming winter was already laced in the cool morning air. Ren clenched his teeth to prevent them from chattering as he glared up at the grey, cloud-covered sky. It looked like they could expect more rain. Oh joy. He snorted in disgust at the weather as he felt more than saw his blue haired companion come to stand beside him, silently waiting for the smaller boy to lead the way as he had for the last two days.

They walked in silence, after the past two days HoroHoro had more than learned most attempts at communication were either met with snappy one-word responses or bodily harm on his part, and thus decided to let the smaller boy stew in his own thoughts. As long as they got where they were supposed to go, he had no qualms. As for Ren, he was too caught up in his dark thoughts to take notice of the other boys consideration (hey, does Horo know him or not? ;P). What was he supposed to tell his father? Why was he even doing this? He knew he was just going to be… punished… Yet still, he couldn't run… Could he…? No…

Honour before Self

He couldn't run

Honour before Self

He could never run.

Honour before Self

He could never escape… the lessons he'd learned through blood and flesh were scarred as deeply into his being as the tattoo carved into his back- He was abruptly snatched from his thoughts as his foot plunged into a deep puddle, ice cold water splashing sloppily around his feet as he jerked back, hissing darkly at the pins and needles shooting up his leg, his soaked pants clinging to his calf as his foot slipped out of his sopping shoe to imbed itself into the soft, muddy earth. HoroHoro watched in tensed silence as a shudder went up the Taos spine, the other boys hands clenching as his shoulders tensed. For some reason, the blue haired boy found himself reminded of a whistling kettle, and probably would have laughed if he weren't the only living thing within range of the smaller boys wrath.

"DAMMIIIIIIT!" The assassin threw his head back and screamed his frustrations to the very heavens, his thin chest heaving as his fists clenched so tightly he could feel his fingernails digging into the tender skin of his palms. Suddenly those golden tiger-eyes popped open in shock as he felt that heavy coat flop gracelessly across his slender shoulders. He turned to blink stupidly at his companion. HoroHoro raised his hands in a defensive gesture as he shot the Tao his best disarming grin.

"What do you say we try another fire?" the blue haired boy winked playfully. Ren narrowed his eyes, his lip curling in disgust as he roughly shook the warm coat off.

"I don't need your pity." He spat menacingly.

"It's not pity," the taller boy called absently over his shoulder as he drew his short sword, already wandering off into the thick underbrush. "I'm hungry." And with that, he was gone. Ren rolled his eyes in exasperation as he crouched down to where he'd dropped the oversized rag.

"Idiot. He knows it's too damp for anything to catch…" he absently wrapped the coat around his lithe form, silently grateful for the lingering warmth from the other boy as he found himself questioning whether or not he was doing the right thing.

-0-

"My darling." Her perfectly painted features were flawless, beautiful, emotionless as she gently poured the perfumed water over his abused limbs. He felt himself nodding stupidly, eyes lolling shut under her movements, her long, cool fingers running through his tousled hair in a detached display of affection.

"My baby." She purred, her eyes glittering like polished steel as she dabbed a cloth against his torn skin, her sleeves rolled up past her elbows- she was disgusted; she didn't want to stain her dress, didn't want to stain her unblemished beauty with her imperfect child.

"My precious weakness…" she whispered softly, plush lips brushing against his earlobe, a shudder of disgust running up his spine at the contact.

-0-

End Rant

Gee, it ends on a somewhat awkward spot here, ne? Well, this was supposed to be a bit longer, but by the last 'chunk', it started to kinda fall apart. Seeing as the last 'chunk' is another one of those crucial plot points, I figured it would be better to take my time and rewrite it properly, in hopes that it doesn't make peoples eyes bleed while trying to read it…

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers- Sorry I made you all wait so long…

Jen-Tao07: Thank you for the review! Someone saying a fic is too good to stop reading is more flattering than multiple reviews anyway :D

DragonStorm85: Whoo! You rock! You've reviewed every chapter so far. (tear) Thank you so much for your constant support (Oh geeze, this is starting to sound pretty sappy… "You luv me, you all really luv me!" XP)

Emic192: Thanks for the review!

MeeLee: Thank you so much for the review- In all honesty, I was toying with the idea of cutting the chapters into two parts: Rens and HoroHoros POV. However, our squishy Ainus would be kinda… spoiler-ishous… Though I do still want to do something for him, he's just so cute and fun to play with. Mayhaps I could throw in a special Horo chapter every now and then…?

DayDrEaMiNg-child: Thank you for your review- As for writing actual novels, well… (pets manuscript) ;P

Interesting screen name… Anyhoo, here be your update. Sorry it wasn't all that 'soon' though…

strife-lover: Whoa… three reviews in one go… You rock my socks :) Why yes, yes indeed Ren is nekkid throughout the entirety of chapter 2… I don't know, I just felt the compulsive urge for Ren-service while writing that one… He's clothed again though for chapter 3. Thanks for the reviews!

shadowicedragon1: Hopefully this chapter it's a bit more clear who's speaking… Sorry for the confusion there… As for insults, well, this fic was more of an experiment than anything- just trying different ways to place emphasise without falling back on caps lock and bold. Thank you for your review, and indeed I'll try to take what you've suggested to heart ;)