Well, here's chapter two, and sorry if it's a little irratic. Stuff in parentheses are little add-in thoughts to help smooth things out… or not!

I have the chick's accent spelled out, so it may get a little confusing, but that just adds to the effect if you ask me. XD

Still, I don't own LoK, Edios does. Know what? Let's get this out of my system. Anything mentioned in this fic that is the property of some company, whether it be the PS2, Batman, or toilet paper, it belongs to its respective parties.

I am applying this to all chapters in this … thing.

That just leaves in my possession the woman with whom you will be introduced and the ugly house she lives in. Her real name is not revealed just in case any of you readers out there are psyco-killers, but this "gurl" really exists! And her ugly house!

Now, shall we continue:)

Chapter two

Kain and Raziel stared at the little woman in shock. She knew their names, even there faces, and was staring quite peculiarly at Kain, which made him a tad uncomfortable. Yet he shrugged off that emotion, as he does with many, and stared back at her with a wicked leer. Raziel knew this reaction from his sire; the woman was about to be in serious pain. (as opposed to whimsical pain?)

Kain snatched her off her feet by her throat, hung her in the air, and snarled, "How do you know us, human?"

The woman kicked her bare dainty feet in midair, desperately grasping at Kain's grip upon her windpipe. As an answer to the inquiry, she sounded the only thing she managed to say: "GgggkkkgggkggkkkggkkkkKKKK!"

He rolled his eyes and dropped his victim with a loud thump! as Raziel squinted and shook his head at the poor human's misfortune.

The old vampire crossed his arms over his well-defined chest. "Speak, human, or I shall beat it out of you."

The woman scrambled to her feet and dusted herself while doing as Kain asked (how could she not? ). "Ah know yar names 'cuz anyone with half a lick a' sense an' good taste knows ya." Both men stood aghast at her bad accent, wondering from where she could have come. Noticing this, she smiled apologetically. "Sorry, boys," she said sheepishly, "Not from Nosgoth, Ah'm from Texas; bear with me. Kay, this is goin' ta sound all crazy-like, so trah-ee t' keep up."

Kain and Raziel alternated staring at the woman and each other in complete confusion as she rambled on about the LoK games, the outrageous ratings they had on her favorite gaming website (they are much too low: ), and what she thinks might have sent them to her house, and her favorite parts of the games, and out-loud wonderings what time period they were supposed to be in, and various other pointless subjects. (Let's catch her at the end of her little ramble… )

"… so Ah told mah dad ta learn to dodge better in Blood Omen 2, 'cuz hearin' you," she pointed to Kain as she spoke, "scream like a little gurl wuz disgraceful! And"

Raziel could stand this no longer. "Stop your mindless ranting, human!" He lowered his voice, speaking to himself but still loud enough to be heard, "She spoke for at least twenty minutes on no particular subject at all; she is worse than the Elder God himself!"

Kain's stupefied stare broke at his former lieutenant's outburst. "Did you say something, Raziel?" He turned to the wraith and back to her, pointing. "She discombobulated me with about how much of absolutely nothing she can speak." Raziel squinted at him.

The woman opened her mouth to start talking once again, but Kain raised a claw, silencing her. "A name to call you by would be helpful."

She spoke some strange outlandish word. Kain once again folded his arms, unwilling to expend the energy of figuring how to pronounce a human's name. "Something a tad simpler, pray?"

The woman shrugged her small shoulders. "Uh little kid called me 'Puddi' (pronounced Poo' dee) once."

Kain raised an eyebrow.

I think that is the reaction of everyone.

Keep the reviews coming!