Sorry about shortness of chapter, first my dog went missing and then I broke my collarbone, so I've had to cut it short. Dog's turned up but bone still broke, hard to type. Better, bigger chapter coming when my clavicle is healed. Honestly. )


Parody Ex

JC entered Manderley's office. Jaime had seen to his wounds in the med-lab, but JC thought the anal probing was a bit unnecessary. "Okay JC" Manderley started "you op bonus is split across the Castle Clinton and Warehouse objectives. You get the full 1000..."

"WHAT? Why aren't I getting 1000 each?"

"Do I look like I'm made of money you sunglass-whoring ass-clown?"

"Great, not only do you look like a dried-up turd in a suit, you're also a cheapskate. Who could ask for a better boss?"

"It's not my fault you run around Battery Park killing hostages!"

"That was... complicated..."

Manderley sighed. "Well, I'd like to say you were the only agent who screwed up, but it likes like idiocy runs in the family. Paul didn't get the shipment, so we're sending you in. God knows why."

"Am I meant to be pleased?"

"Look, just go and look around the subways." Manderley saw JC's eyes light up "And don't play on the tracks!"

"Awwww" JC moaned as he exited Manderley's office. He went upstairs and out of the HQ. He saw Jock sitting in a new helicopter. "Don't mess around with the rotors this time you freaky little shit!" Jock yelled as JC entered the helicopter.

"Screw you, you grey-haired drunk"

The helicopter took off and JC looked out of the window blankly as it flew towards it's destination. He landed in Battery Park and exited the chopper. Alex popped up in his view. "Don't you get tired of invading my viewpoint every few minutes?" JC asked.

"Do you think I'd do this if I wasn't payed. It's like fucking baby-sitting with you and Paul. Except I'm payed a lot better. Anyway, we're dropping you in Battery Park..."

"You don't say" JC interrupted

"We know the NSF were moving materials through here at one point. Seems like a good place to start looking."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were standing in the middle of some crappy hellhole freezing your ass off" With that, JC started towards the subway. He entered the subway and saw Harley Filben standing nearby. "Hey, you're that bum that gives people information for money"

"Fuck you, I'm no bum!" Filben replied

"Whatever man, good luck finding food for tonight" JC looked around. He saw a phone. He decided he'd call Paul and ask him what the hell he should do. "Ok, Paul's number is 6... 6... 3... 5... Hey what the crap?" The phone booth began to spin around and then dropped through the floor. JC was in what seemed to be a tunnel. "Doesn't anything work in this godforsaken place?" JC decided to go down the tunnel and see if anyone could help him use the phone. He climbed a ladder and came out on a track. Alex popped up in his view.

"After the quakes, the homeless drifted down here, junkies, runaways, grifters. There's a DSS file..."

"Awww, and you think I actually give a shit"

"Whatever" Alex replied as he disappeared out of view. JC looked around. He saw a lot of ugly people wandering around helplessly. He unholstered his gun...