Chapter iv

Puddi continued through the game. After going through the first two levels as it were, with Kain and Raziel complaining about how it took them much longer to do it themselves, she decided to show them one last code.

All watched as Sprite Kain, in all his glory, was transformed into a small pale man with a giant head. Kain was horrified and made a very displeased sound.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME, PUDDI?" he roared as he dug his claws into her shoulder. She winced in pain but did not stop playing. Having defeated an enemy, they watched the humorous spectacle of Sprite Kain sucking the blood straight from the neck of a Sarafan warrior.

Raziel pointed and laughed at the sprite. "Aw, Kain," he cooed. "You look soooo cute! HA HA HA!"

Puddi wanted to hear the reactions of the two men would give with the so-called "creeping" the sprites do, so adjusted the camera to a better angle and did so.

Raziel was in hysterics. He laughed so much he toppled off the couch and landed hard on the carpet. Kain did not have the same reaction however. He blushed in embarrassment for just a moment, but then became quite irate at the little woman. Kain growled and wrenched her up to his face.

"How dare you mock me!" he leered into her face. Puddi's eyes widened. "I am not a man with which to trifle, girl!" She nervously shifted her eyes from side to side. "I could tear off parts of you you did not even know existed!" Confused, she stared at him, her head tilted slightly to the side. He smiled much like a shark would. "Or better yet," he cooed menacingly. "Torturing you will not be a bother to me."

Puddi planted a small kiss on the tip of Kain's nose. He quickly let go of her as both men's eyes became wide with surprise. Kain held an expression on his face that screamed 'what is wrong with you?'

She shrugged. "The only reason anyone gets that close to mah face iz for uh kiss," she calmly explained. "Things 've been bad for ya lately, after all."

Kain eyed her angrily as she turned back around to play. The cut scene where Sprite Kain interrogates Moebius roughly for the whereabouts of Sprite Raziel played as Puddi chuckled darkly.

"Don't worry, Kain. Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and sauerkraut!"

The cut scene ended as Sprite Raziel continued in his mission. Raziel gaped; his form had been transmuted as well. He still looked the same, except his body and limbs were short and spindly, topped by a gargantuan head. If he could change colors, he definitely would have become bright red.

Kain giggled wildly as Sprite Raziel crept across the TV screen. "You look positively adorable, my little fledgling!" he deridingly cooed. "Next time, you should not place yourself in the position upon which to be retaliated."

"Duz it hurt y'allses heads trah-eeing not ta end a sentence with uh preposition all th' time?" Puddi mused aloud.

"No," Raziel disclosed, "although it exceedingly substantiates one's portrayal of their own intelligence." He tipped his head towards his former master. "Behold what miracle it has performed upon Kain!"

Of course the old vampire caught that insult and immediately struck back by landing a solid punch square in Raziel's arm, causing him to yelp. Both men viciously slapped at each other, yet neither seemed to land a definite blow.

"All right, ALL RIGHT!" shrieked the furious woman. "If yer goin' ta act like babies—"

Kain mumbled under his breath. "I'm no baby. And he started it."

Puddi glared at him. "—then Ah'll play sumthin' that won't get yer blood boilin'." She switched off her PS2. Delicately replacing Defiance in its case, she placed a new game within the consol.

The title was Silent Hill 3.

She skipped the dream sequence at the beginning, opting to just start the game. After some boring moments of no action, finally Puddi reached the clothing shop where the first enemy shows itself in the real world.

Kain and Raziel stared, horrified. Kain even made a disgusted sound at the appearance of the demonic adversaries Heather fought.

"Enough, human," urged the wraith after a few minutes of disgust and squinting. "This whole thing was entertaining, but now it is too much."

For the first time in a long while, Kain agreed. "Admittingly, this vulgar display of death and gore is grotesque."

Puddi could not believe what she was hearing. Raziel seeing too many dead things? Kain calling something grotesque without looking pleased? She shook her head.

"Your odd fascinations had been compelling," Raziel acknowledged, "yet this one is frightening!"

Kain sternly asserted his desire: "Turn it off."

Puddi sneered. "Not only are ya babies," the woman balked, "but weenies az well!"

"I AM NOT A WEENIE!" the infuriated vampire viciously spat.

The young woman laughed hysterically at his accent. "You're British!" she cackled.

Kain became quite baffled at this moment. What is British, and why being so is so hilarious to the woman. He did not know whether to be offended or pleased she called him thus, so he just stuck what has been working for him the whole time: he remained confused. But Raziel had been for some time.

"What is a 'weenie'?" he inquired.

Puddi turned off the console and TV and motioned the men to follow her. Doing so, she led them through a claustrophobically narrow but short hallway to another small-but-substantially-larger-than-the-last room. Bare tile floors, a glass table scooted next to a wall, and many counters inhabited this place and was not so assaulting to the eyes of the guests.

They arrived at their destination; a black monolithic refrigerator. She reached inside and pulled out what seemed to the men as a small sausage-like foodstuff, yet it was entirely too flexible to be any sort of sausage.

"This iz uh hot dog," she informed as she wriggled her wrist, causing it to flop side-to-side. "Or like sum uf 's call it, uh weenie." Then she bit into it.

The men stared in frightful awe at her. But then she had an idea!

"Hey guys," she mischievously solicited, "wanna see sum'm' cool?"

Kain and Raziel glanced nervously at each other.

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Kain: Oh, god. What are you going to do now?

You wait and see!

Raziel: Can't be any worst than what she has already done…

Heh, heh! Just wait!

Kain: Hey, do you remember SMOKE's plea for a storyline? Why don't you make one?

Hmm... Ok. I figure out how to get you guys back. THANK YOU SMOKE FOR REVIEWING! And for all you other people: PLEASE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!

Raziel: Stop begging; it's pathetic.