Chapter 3: The Unexpected Miracle
Disclaimer: Me and Syani don't own Teen Titans. If we did, we'd put our O.Cs in them! BUAHAHAHA!
Rob: But I don't even know how to narrate!
Syani: Just do your best Rob. If Cy can do it, you can to. I mean, you're Robin, right?
Star: Yes, friend Syani is most right, it does not occur something hurting, correct?
Rob: All right, all right! I'll do it!
Rae: Now, why am I the maid again?
Syani: Because you are not suitable for the fairy of course.
Rae: Point taken.
BB: So, come on! When am I in the story?
Syani: Patience, Beast Boy, patience…
Rob: You call this a script? If I had the… say, where's Cyborg?
Syani: Changing…
Titans: Changing! For what?
Robin (narrator): Raven was ready in a stance to kick whoever… or whatever's between those twinkles. When the twinkles and lights were gone, Starfire and Raven could see a large man that was half-machine standing right in front of them. Emm…mmm… (Robin was struggling not to laugh)
"Who are you? Metallic man with ballet outfit?", asked Starfire, as sweetly as she could be. She's always nice, isn't she?
I'm your Fairy God-Friend, y'all!", he said. He wore a pink vest and tutu. In fact, he doesn't look so magical at all. Even in the night. With pink, wings?
"And why are you here?" Raven asked with suspicion in her tone. She was still in a stance.
"Because those darn fairies up there sent me!" The fairy roared. "The whole lot of them were lazing around all the time and they know I'm only good with car problems! And they just shooed me out because I'm… I'm PUDGY!"
Raven and Starfire were already several feet away from the huffing tutu-wearing, bulging, big bucket of bolts. Cyborg's pudgy? This is getting ridiculous…
Robin (narrator): When Cyborg the fairy cooled down after a refreshing drink of motor oil, Star and Rae raised their eyebrows in confusion. "No, friend Raven here means, what is the reason of your sudden presence here, strange fairy creature?", said Starfire when she spotted a pair of fairy wings behind that, strange, fairy, creature, thing?
"Okay, first of all, my name's Cyborg. Second, I'm here not because I wanna hurt you…", the robotic fairy said, turning to Raven when he saw her fighting stance.
"Third, I have to help y'all get in that pretty castle over there if I wanna get back to Fairy-Land. Ya dig?" continued Cyborg.
Starfire jumped in happiness even though she doesn't understand much of his words. Raven rolled her eyes at the rather predictable and overly clichéd plot device, not to mention that he has pink wings behind his back...
"Okay, I need something large, like a pumpkin or something," said Cyborg while intently looking around for one.
"we do not plant pumpkins in this area, but I have a pizza!", said Starfire as she remembered the pizza Terra bought for her this morning. Star waited for Cyborg's answer. He had a slightly bewildered look on his face but said, "Okay, at least it's big,"
Starfire ran in her house and came back with the pizza. "Mint frosting?" asked Raven when she took a whiff at the pizza. Cyborg's face was now looking as green as the pizza itself, but nodded in approval. That green cannot be natural!
"Now, I need something…" but before Cy could finish, he was cut off by Raven.
"I've got two microchips and a rat, happy?", she said, showing Cyborg the things from her larger-than-life pockets. Starfire recoiled at the rat who was busy struggling from Raven's surprisingly strong grip, "Where did you get those, friend Raven?" She gave a look to Starfire that screamed: if I told you, you'd wish you'd never existed. It worked, on Cyborg who took one glance at Raven and was already cowering behind a bush, squealing like a little girl. Starfire chuckled at the big man's cowardice. Now that's just pathetic…
"Well, forget a squirrel and a pair of Ipods!" exclaimed Cyborg as he got out of the bush, pretending that none of that ever happened, "This is even better! Now, for da magic word!" he scratched his shiny, metallic head as he tried to remember the word.
"Oh yeah!" Cyborgexclaimed as he took out a wrench-shaped wand (Raven suspected it is a wrench), and shouted, "BOO-YAH!" and the wand emitted a blue-ish beam of light.
The lights made contact with the pizza and it turned into the T-car? The microchips turned into a pair of tiaras and the rat turned into a furry chauffeur suit? Cyborg wiped a tear off his eye at the sight of his masterpiece (the car of course), either that or the rat suit's stinging his eye. Who wrote this script?
"Dude! That is SO WRONG!" yelled a puffy-eyed Beast Boy. "He can't just turn that poor rat into a piece, skinned, stretchy, something! That is so WRONG!".
Robin pushed him away from the microphone. "Beast Boy! Stop hogging the mike! You'll ruin the scene!"
Robin (narrator): Now stay there and would you stop crying over the rat, please! Oh, err... A Cinderella Story is back from commercial people! Enjoy! Whew…
"Since the two of you want to go, I need to say, DOUBLE BOO-YAH!", yelled Cyborg again as a pair ofradiant beamsmade contact with Starfire and Raven.
Starfire's gown was changed into a glittering purple dress, She wore long, white gloves and a pair of aqua blue glass shoes. Her hair was tied up like a bun.
"Whoa, and I thought she looked good in prom!", Robin whispered to Beast Boy while hoping the mike didn't catch that. It did. "Dude, snap out of it! You're narrating, remember?" replied BB.
Robin (narrator): Alright, alright, don't make a rat suit out of it… Raven's clothes on the other hand, were changed into a blacksatin dress that rivalled the starry night, and Starfire's as well. She still wore her same old navy blue cloak, but it's now adorned with beautiful pearl-white symbols that accentuated Raven's lovely pale skin. Whoa…why is there more stuff about Raven than Star? Beast Boy gets all the luck…
If Starfire's magical change in attire took Robin's breath away (and his rather weak comment), Raven's wonderful makeover made Beast Boy shout out, "Dude! RAVEN! YOW! She is looking HO-OT!" The 'love-sick wonder' and the 'love-crazed jokester' couldn't help but shamelessly goggle at the 2 lovely little girls.
"Am I good?", Cyborg asked, hoping for a good remark or two
"Yes, this outfit is most beautiful!", Starfire exclaimed.
"It's nice…," muttered Raven as she checked the surroundings around her. Did Robin and Beast Boy shouted that we looked hot? I look hot? Beast Boy thinks I look hot? Whoa, hold that thought Raven! Just because he thinks I look hot, that doesn't mean he likes me! …am I really that hot
"All right, let's get briefed then shall we, ladies? The two of you are going to be disguised as princesses," Cyborg said, "and I'll be disguising as your ever faithful, gutsy, and wickedly handsome, chauffeur!" the big fairy added with unnecessarily, unimpressive pride.
"Briefed? Why would we not wear briefs?", Starfire asked innocently enough. Raven coolly explains to Starfire that 'briefed' means to be informed. Starfire blushed at her silly mistake.
"Okay, y'all, this part here is real important. The magic will turn your clothes, my 'baby', and this furry, yet comfy suit of mine back to normal right after the last ring of the 12 midnight bell, so better pick up the pace if you two wanna get a slice of cutie pie!", said Cyborg. Star and Raven nodded with only Raven understanding it, but wishing she didn't.
The three got into the T-Car and drove off to the palace of Hopolus City. Hopolus? This story's getting hopeless…
"Why does it have to be the T-Car? I mean, it's always been a carriage!", Robin whispered to BB. He was never really comfortable with non-clichéd themes. When the Titans watched Shrek for the first time, Robin sued, and swore, and sued some more. Every Titan carried a tranquilizer dart ever since.
"Well, how would I know! Maybe it's a retro, fantasy, world, thingy? Like Shrek," said Beast Boy. Before Robin could even strangle Beast Boy for mentioning Shrek, a deep, grating voice shouted behind them, "You two, get dressed! You're up next!" Robin and Beast Boy turned to see who it was, and went dead rigid. Standing right in front of them in his full glory was…tun, tun, tun!... Batman himself. Sort of.
Other than his black mask, the caped crusader was wearing the Martian Manhunter's cape, Green Lantern's tights, Flash's shirt and Wonder Woman's crown. As a matter of fact, he doesn't look so glorious at all. Even with Hawkgirl's mace. And Superman's trademark underwear. And with lipstick on his cheek. And lips.
By the look on their horrified, horrified, faces, Batman shrugged and said, "Wonder Woman thought it might be sexy, okay?"
Robin suddenly walked over to a random corner and started to act like…tun, tun, tun!...Gollum. "Batman and Wondy Woman, no, no, precious! No! Not those two… sitting in a NO! NO TREE! NO TREE PRECIOUS, NO, NO! K-I-S-S-precious-I-N-NO-NO-G-NO-G-PRECIOUS! NO, my precious, not those two, not those two sitting in a treeee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! PRECIOUS NO! NO! My preciousss…" he sang and whimpered in a pathetic, Gollum-like voice.
Batman and BB (not sitting in a tree) were very ready to scramble out of the booth in case Robin and something really, really …tun, tun, tun!... Gollum-like. Too late.
"Err, Robin, that's not a juicy sweet fish. It's microphone,"
The two watched in terror as Robin begins to gobble up the mike, much to the dismay of the actors and actresses in the scene. Starfire fainted. Raven barfed. Beast Boy took out his tranquilizer dart and aimed.
"Preciousss… Batman… Wondy Woman… story…crazy …crazy … my preciousss …and we catch a fish… from a shiny pool… so nice and cool… so juicy sweeeet…
After 4 weeks of intensive therapy and cuddling bunnies, Robin was back to his normal and obsessive self again.
Star: Oh Robin, I am so glad you are not acting like that sulky creature from the Ring Lord movie anymore! (hugs Robin and leaveshim blushing red)
Cy: Yeah dawg, after hearing you munch up that microphone, I thought you finally lost it! Again!
Rob: I thought so too, but I've got to admit, that mike did taste pretty good, can't put my finger on what kind of fish though…(the Titans stares at him, with Cyborg loading his tranquilizer)
Dis: Actually, it tastes like durian, not a fish of any kind.
BB: So, what's a duria… hey, who're you?
Dis: I'm Syani's friend, Dis. The editor of this story. Like what I'm doing. Don't answer that, I wanna savour the moment... (pretends to wipe away a tear of joy). Anyways, a durian is a large green thorny fruit. In my region (South-East Asia), it's titled the King of Fruits! I've got some right here.
Dis shows them a bowl filled with yellow lumps with a smell so incredibly pungent, it made Cyborg unconscious.
Rob: Sweet! Mind if I have a taste? (grabs the bowl and starts wolfing it down while the others close their noses)
BB: Eww, how can you stand stench! It's almost as bad as my underwear!
Rae: So, aside from the nasty fruits, what have you exactly edited anyway?
Dis: Oh, not much. A little sprucing here, a little changing there, oh, and I got rid of Slade, he'll overcomplicate things! (Robin drops his bowl of fruit)
Rob: (grabs Dis by the collar) You could've gotten SLADE in this story, but you DECIDED TO GET RID OF HIM? (Lets Dis go and starts to act like Gollum again) So clooose my precious… but do not worry preciousss Slade… we will find you… my precious Slade… and when we do… we WILL…
Cyborg fires the tranquilizer, then goes unconscious. Again.
